House Infernal by Edward Lee

by Edward Lee

"Calm yourself, Exalted Duke," fluttered the voice of the Warlock. He picked the Smoke-Light off the stone floor. "The Totem is intact." Then he lit the oil lamp and set the device back on its stand.

  "I'll deal with you later, whore." Boniface shoved Ruth away.

  Fuck you and your mother, Ruth thought.

  What hovered off the Smoke-Light now was an illumination that was black yet somehow as bright as flashbulbs on a camera. It seemed to cover everyone in the room with a dark, glittering caul and seemed to stretch out fingers into the brighter crimson light coming from the Pith.

  Then the stone slab seemed to scream.

  Someone whispered, "Glory to Lucifer..."

  Two shapes on the slab appeared like two things melting in reverse.

  All of the chamber's occupants fell to their knees.

  Ruth blinked, but when she looked again, the red light was fading, and on the slab stood a woman in a cloak and a younger woman-blond-in a black skirt and torn white blouse.

  That must be her, Ruth realized.

  "It worked, it worked, it worked!" Boniface blubbered with joy.

  The two women seemed frozen at first; then they began to blink.

  "The Chastitant is among us!" yelled the Wizard. "Conscripts! Seize her and shackle her at once!"

  Several soldiers with chains rushed toward the Pith.

  Bam!

  The first Conscript's helmet blew off, along with half of his head. The other two flinched, then bowled over howling as a knife from nowhere plunged into their bellies.

  "Infiltrators have switched the Smoke-Light with a fake!" the Warlock yelled, then a knife-slash appeared at his throat.

  The Wizard pulled Boniface aside. "Someone must be working a Stealth Charm or a Hand of Glory. Ushers! Conscripts! Scythe every square inch of space in the Chancel!"

  Pandemonium ensued as the servants of Boniface raised great hewers and sickles and began to systematically thresh them through the air.

  Ruth tried to back up into a comer. She noticed that the two women on the slab were beginning to move, but she also noticed this: Boniface was staring right at her.

  The squat, masked hulk barged toward her. "Something's amiss and I fear it starts with you!" he yelled. He grabbed her, yanked off her scarf, then-shhhhlup!- yanked off her Putridox face.

  "An impostor! Cut her down in place!"

  Ruth rammed both fists into the Duke's face; the mask fell apart in chunks.

  "Oh, fuck you, man!" She shrieked when she saw the ruination beneath. "Your face looks like pimples on a Gorilla's ass!" She kicked him between the legs so hard they both fell over at the same time. Boniface howled. As Ruth fell, a great blade swooped down and just missed the area of space that her head had occupied a second earlier.

  When the Usher raised its blade for a second strike-

  Bam!

  Alexander's sulphur gun split its head. Chunks of something like green goulash flew this way and that. But the remaining Conscripts and Demons were converging in a single line, their weapons blurring through the air.

  Looks like this is the end, she realized.

  Boniface croaked up at her, "Despicable heap of Human shit ..."

  "I'm glad you said that, you ugly fat fuck," Ruth replied, and stomped down hard on his face. The spiked heels of her Bone-Sandals sunk deep. After enough stomps, the face collapsed like darkly stained styrofoam. "And you've got a little dick, too!"

  Alexander finally appeared, throwing aside the Hand of Glory. He rushed toward the Pith. "Venetia! The Power Relic! Now!"

  The blond woman seemed to snap out of a trance; then she shrieked when she saw the chaos around her. The cloaked woman beside her looked about in disarray, then glared at Venetia.

  "Venetia!" Alexander screamed. "Don't tell me you forgot the Relic!"

  The cloaked woman lunged ... just as Venetia pulled something from a pocket ...

  What the fuck is that? Ruth wondered, squinting.

  Venetia had withdrawn some small unidentifiable thing.

  Is that a chunk of bone? Ruth asked herself.

  Then came a deafening shriek like wind through the highest mountain peaks-

  "Holy shit!" Ruth screamed.

  And everything turned white.

  Some inchoate forced knocked Ruth across the chamber, as if she'd just been hit by a speeding truck. It was a concussion like dynamite going off, but without the explosion, just the inhuman shriek.

  The preternatural force dropped Ruth hard on her back, slamming the wind from her lungs. She began to black out, but even on this verge of unconsciousness, the blinding white light prevailed....

  Ruth knew she was about to be destroyed. By now she truly did regret the outrageous sins of her life but still she thought, What a ripoff .. .

  It seemed like hours had passed when her vision finally cleared. Her first sight upon coming to was a monstrous hand reaching down for her.

  Ruth screamed-

  "Relax, it's me," Alexander said. It was his Usher hand helping her up.

  'Oh, fuck, man, you fuckin' scared the fuck out of me."

  He bellowed right into her face: "Damn it, Ruth! Would you quit cussing!"

  After all that shit, I deserve to cuss all I want. She took a moment to catch her breath. Memories returned like a steady drip. "What happened?"

  "Look around."

  The Pith sat inert-nothing more than a slab of rock. Askew piles of something white and sandy lay everywhere, but there were no signs of the Conscripts, Wizards, or Demons that had previously dominated the Chancel.

  "Where did they all go?" she asked.

  Alexander gestured to the piles. "Turned to salt-all of them. When Venetia secreted the Power Relic from the prior house to here, she brought something holy into an unholy perimeter. Any being motivated by evil has been-for lack of a better term-sterilized. With that bone, Venetia-via her power as a Chastitant-will be able to consecrate a great portion of the Boniface District, and more."

  "You're fucking shitting me...."

  Alexander winced. "She's already up in the courtyard, doing the same as she did here. The Fortress Boniface will now become the first anti-Satanic stronghold in Hell."

  Ruth noticed that the Werewolf hands and the tongues of her apparel had stopped moving. "Where's Boniface?"

  The priest pointed to another pile of salt.

  "Cool!" Ruth cogitated. That chick with the blond hair sterilized all the evil out of the whole joint. "So does that mean we-"

  "Succeeded in our mission? Yes. Let's go up now."

  Where the stones of the labyrinth had once glowed crimson, they now glowed white. Ruth could've used some sunglasses. This is cool as shit-the plan worked, and I get to go to Purgatory in a thousand years.

  The monster-limbed priest led Ruth through the labyrinth by following a long pink thread that wound its way back through the catacombs.

  "You did that, didn't you?" Ruth guessed. "So we could find our way back out. You're a pretty smart dude!"

  Alexander rolled his eyes.

  "But where'd you get pink thread in Hell?"

  "That's an astute question, Ruth."

  Ruth's brow creased. "Hey. Where's my Yuck Foo T-shirt?"

  Alexander held up the thread. "It's all I had on hand."

  "You fucker! You used my favorite shirt!"

  The priest moaned. "Don't worry about it, Ruth. Besides, you don't need to be wearing that shirt in front of the person you're about to meet."

  "Who? That Venetia chick?"

  Alexander didn't respond. Eventually he led them out of the last catacomb, into the courtyard.

  "Wow," Ruth breathed. There were hundreds of piles of salt everywhere. The blood bricks had all turned white, each emitting a mild luminosity.

  "Miraculous," the priest said, awed. "She's consecrated the entire fortress already." His eyes darted to the wideopen gate. "She's out in the District now."

  "How much of the place can she consecrate with that bone?"

  Alexand
er smiled. "Who knows..."

  Ruth followed him outside the walls. "Hey. The place doesn't stink like it used to either."

  "There'll be a lot of things changing in the District." Alexander's wide Demonic feet carried him to the first street. "And you get to be part of it. Venetia will need some assistance as she assumes her destiny. It's the perfect way for you to spend the next millennium while you're waiting to go to Purgatory."

  Doesn't sound too bad at all, Ruth thought. But the worldly cynic in her kicked in. During her life, she'd been ripped off countless times on deals that sounded too good to be true. "How do I know that'll ever really happen, man? How do I know it's not jive?"

  "In a minute, you'll see."

  The fortress seemed to glow white behind her. As she looked down the block she said, "Check that shit out, man!" She could see Venetia slowly walking down the main roads just outside the fortress, a cloud of white light following her. The blood bricks whitened as she passed, and any Demonic being in her proximity immediately froze, then collapsed to a pile of salt.

  "It's wondrous," Alexander whispered. "It all worked...."

  Ruth followed him without thinking much. "Where we going now?"

  "Just looking for a puddle of water," the priest said.

  The fuck? "A puddle? Why? Let's just go out there with Venetia-"

  "You'll have plenty of time to do that later, but right now..." The priest stopped with a satisfied expression. At his feet was a puddle of dirty water. He just stood there, looking down.

  "I'm getting pissed now, man," Ruth spoke up. "Why're you staring at a fuckin' puddle of dirty water?"

  Alexander looked fretful. "Shhh! Of all the people you shouldn't cuss in front of, it's her."

  Ruth's face screwed up. "Who?"

  He pointed to the puddle. "Look. The charm is working, just like she said...."

  "You're scaring me now, man! What charm? That's no charm! It's a fuckin' puddle!"

  Alexander winced yet again at the profanity. "Not like a lucky charm, Ruth. It's a charm like a spell. It's called a Transference Charm. Water's the best base to use for this kind of spell-even dirty water. It doesn't matter." A taloned Usher finger pointed down. "Look. See her?"

  This guy's gone nuts all of a sudden. But when Ruth looked straight down into the puddle ...

  Holy shit "Is that ... a face?"

  The image couldn't be denied. Indeed, what Ruth saw in the puddle was the face of a woman, but it clearly wasn't her own reflection. The face was pretty in an edgy way, and the woman had long shining black hair save for one gothy streak of white along the left side.

  "Hello, Ruth," the image in the puddle greeted.

  Ruth's jaw dropped.

  "My name's Cassandra, and I'm speaking to you through a Celestial technology."

  The woman's face in the image had a rim of light that made Ruth think of a halo. "A-are you like-an angel?"

  "Something like that. I'm the intelligence source that Father Alexander told you about."

  I don't believe this, Ruth thought. I'm talking to a fucking puddle of water.... "Where are you talking to us from?"

  "That's unimportant, Ruth," the mysterious face said. "The important thing is you both succeeded and have proven yourselves worthy servants of God. You've both sufficiently redeemed yourselves, and I don't mean by working for us in exchange for a reward, but in spiritwhen you weren't even aware of it."

  "What do you mean?" Alexander asked, confused.

  "By showing good will to Ruth, for instance, you sealed your redemption, Father. By assuming an extra burden that could lead to her own exit from Hell."

  Alexander's brow popped up.

  The eyes in the puddle looked again to Ruth. "And Ruth, you sealed your own redemption back at the adoption agency. You didn't know the baby was a Hex-Clone. You thought it was a real baby, and you were willing to risk your own reward by saving it. Remember?"

  Ruth's memory reached back. Yeah, I guess I did....

  "Our Counter-Flux won't last long," Cassandra's im age said, "so I have to make this quick. You both fulfilled the mission, so you'll both be rewarded as promised. I'm going to revoke Father Alexander's condemnation now, and Ruth, I'll revoke yours in a thousand years."

  "How can you have the power to even do that?" Ruth's asked.

  The image of the face seemed to stall. "It's been granted to me by a Celestial grace."

  "Well then, if you have that kind of power, revoke both of us," Ruth urged. "Why do I have to wait a thousand years? You've got the power, so what's the difference?"

  Alexander was rubbing his temples.

  "My power has restrictions, Ruth," Cassandra answered. "Those are the rules-it's that simple. I'm only allowed to revoke one condemnation per millennium. If I could do two, I would-but I can't."

  Next, however, Cassandra's eyes flicked back to Alexander, as if in expectation. "Something on your mind, Father?"

  The priest looked at Ruth, then looked back at the face in the puddle. He stroked his chin with a large, monstrous hand. "Revoke Ruth instead."

  "What?" Ruth snapped.

  "Sure, why not?" Alexander reasoned. "Send her now, and I'll be the one to wait a thousand years."

  Ruth gaped at him.

  Cassandra's gaze drilled outward. "Are you absolutely sure, Father?"

  The priest waved his hands dismissively. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'll make myself useful here, help Venetia, stuff like that." He chuckled. "A little extra redemption can't hurt, right?"

  Ruth remained speechless.

  "I'll ask one more time," Cassandra told him. "Are you sure?"

  Alexander nodded.

  Ruth's Tongue-Skirt and Hand-Bra flapped to the ground while Ruth herself disappeared. The priest wasn't sure but he thought he could hear her utter a few dissipating words before she was gone altogether: "What a cool fuckin' guy...

  A wisp of smoke like glitter seemed to hang in the air momentarily; then it, too, was gone.

  "You're agood man, Father Alexander," the face in the puddle said.

  Alexander shrugged.

  "I'll be in touch." Cassandra's eyes narrowed. "We have more work for you...."

  Before the priest could bid an awkward farewell, the face had vacated the puddle.

  So ... here I am, he thought with a relieving sigh. He flexed his beastly arms for no conscious reason. By now the entirety of Boniface Boulevard glowed white, as the Chastitant continued her scourge of consecration. But beyond-as far as he could see-the infernal city gushed smoke and screams, and through the black clouds before the black sickle moon, abominations soared on great leathery wings. Alexander knew that this city was endless and always would be, but now ...

  Now's my chance to change a little bit of it.

  Overhead, directly above the former Fortress Boniface, the smallest rive seemed to appear in the smudged, scarlet sky, like a modest tear forming in filthy fabric.

  Then a ray of sunlight strayed across his face.

  Alexander strode forward then, thumping on inhuman feet, to join Venetia in her destiny.

  Epilogue

  Flashlights probed the dark wood behind the house. In spite of all the police, little was said after they'd found the two bodies-and all the blood-in the atrium. The only sound were crickets and the crunch of twigs beneath shoes.

  More flashlights roved the rest of the backyard; Berns thought of monstrous fireflies.

  "So what do you make of that giant spiral on the floor back at the house?" Moxey asked, if only to break the unnerving silence.

  "It's an occult emblem. They called it the Involution."

  "So what is it?"

  Berns brushed a spiderweb off his face. "Wish I knew."

  "And how the hell did these psychos get the blood to follow the course of the spiral? If they poured it out of the can, there'd be footprints."

  "I don't know, sir," Berns replied, holding his annoyance. But Berns didn't think he wanted to know, either.

  Moxey shrieked like a little g
irl when his flashlight veered upward onto three nude bodies hanging in the woods.

  The ropes creaked.

  "The housekeeper and her daughter," Berns said, "and the guy who took care of the yard."

  All faces stared at the corpses.

  "This is a real horror show you've got going here," Moxey said, trying to recover after his feminine shriek.

  Berns smiled. "My county, my fault? It's your state."

  Moxey smirked.

  A distant voice from the yard called out "Captain Berns! Over here!"

  They strode quickly out of the clearing to where several more uniforms stood by a storage shed. Inside, a flashlight shined on an open floor panel.

  "St-stairs," Moxey observed.

  Berns led the way. A corridor of unadorned blocks seemed to lead back toward the house. The worst thought fluttered in his head. Six people were staying at the prior house, and we've found five bodies....

  Where was Venetia Barlow?

  The corridor seemed to swallow them in narrowing darkness. The sound of foot scuffs echoed hard off the brick walls. Then-

  "Shit," Berns said.

  They all moved slowly into a large brick chamber. An odd stone slab sat slightly atilt toward the back. Flashlight beams danced around, a moving webwork of light.

  Someone said, "This place feels like a crypt."

  Moxey stood still, looking directly up. "You know, I'll bet

  "I was thinking the same thing," Berns interrupted. "I'll bet this room was built directly beneath the middle of the atrium."

  "Right under the center point of that spiral-thing . .

  It was Berns' flashlight that found the anteroom to the left. He drew his gun and sidestepped in but found no one in wait, only six cement boxes. One was empty, its lid half-pushed off. But the other five had their lids on.

  "Don't tell me those things are coffins," Moxey said.

  "They're small for coffins," Berns noted. "And-"

  They all noticed the odd white fragments sitting atop each lid.

  "They look like pieces of bones," Moxey declared.

  Yeah. Berns approached the fifth box as a cop in the main chamber yelled, "Hey, Captain, there's another room out here."

  "Check it later. We need some help with these boxes." Berns removed the bone off the top of the fifth box. "Everybody grab a lid," he ordered. "Let's see what's inside these things...."