Meg stopped in her tracks and turned to face her friend. “Look, even if something happened between them the other night, I can tell you, from knowing Betsy for the last year, it’s mainly over.”
Tracy didn’t even look up as she set her ball up on the makeshift tee. “Mainly over is not over, my friend.” She drew her iron back and whipped it forward with force. She watched as the ball sailed into the distance. “I don’t feel like competing for someone’s affection.”
“I’m sorry.” Meg’s voice dripped sarcasm. “Who are you?”
Tracy had been serious, but seeing Meg’s over-the-top expression lightened up her mood as she explained, “Look, I love competition as much as the next person—”
With a raised eyebrow, Meg cut her off. “I’m gonna say more. Like way more, Miss Varsity Everything with the multiple college scholarships to choose from.”
Tracy smiled at the backhanded compliment and reached down to set up a new ball. “Okay, okay. But seriously, if she’s still with TJ, CJ, whatever her name is, I’m out.” She looked over at Meg as she adjusted her grip.
“What about your connection. I thought you guys could both feel it.” Meg laid it on thick, even tossing up some air quotes for effect.
“Number one, I was drunk.” Tracy laughed at Meg mocking her. “And two, I’m an idiot.” She smiled out of one side of her mouth. “And I didn’t say I’m not interested. I just don’t want to get in the middle if they are still together.”
“Such a gentleman.” Meg continued to tease.
Tracy couldn’t help but smile. “Just find out the deal for me tomorrow, ’kay?”
“You got it.”
They were silent for almost a minute, each hitting their last few balls. Meg finished first and turned to watch Tracy. She didn’t bother to wait for an opening as she leaned on her club. “Now, about California. What’s the story there?”
Tracy grimaced as she topped the ball off. It was a lousy shot for her, but still way better than anyone else around them. She backed up and used the head of her club to tip the plastic bucket over and guide the last ball her way. She looked up at Meg from under the brim of her hat. “There was a girl.” She pursed her lips into a thin line. “And now there’s not.”
“And?”
“And what?” Tracy put away their clubs and bent down to pick up the ball baskets. “What is there to say, really?” She hoisted the bag over her shoulder and started walking. “She fucking decimated me.”
“What happened?”
Tracy scratched her head under her hat and readjusted it perfectly. She looked right at Meg. “I don’t even know where to start,” she said, equally sad and embarrassed.
“How about with something easy, like her name.”
Meg thought she was helping break it down to the most basic components. She had no idea that she had asked the most difficult question. Tracy stopped in her tracks and met Meg’s concerned face. “I can’t, Meg. I’m sorry.”
“Look, you have to talk about it sooner or later.”
Tracy huffed. “I mean I can’t tell you her name.”
Meg’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, is she famous?”
Tracy turned away but it was too late, her wry smile had given away the answer.
“No way.” Meg couldn’t help herself. “Is it Sara Davenport?” she asked excitedly, naming Hollywood’s hot new A-lister who was widely suspected of being in the closet. Meg hadn’t really believed the rumors, expecting they were mostly perpetuated by the lesbian community hoping for a sexy leading lady they could lay claim to.
Tracy laughed. “She’s not even gay.”
“The Internet says she might be,” Meg countered.
“Well, she’s not gay with me.” Tracy smiled as she reached Meg’s car, waiting for her to pop the mini-SUV’s hatchback.
Meg squinted her eyes and shook her head as Tracy laid the golf bag across the trunk. “I can’t believe you’re not going to fucking tell me.”
“I’m not.” Tracy smiled. “But I have good reasons.”
“I’m listening,” Meg said with curiosity and concern, but not anger.
Tracy relaxed a little. She tilted the vent toward her face and sat silently while the air conditioning cooled her off. “Look, I realize now she’s a total closet case and while I should have seen that sooner”—she shrugged—“I didn’t.” She looked straight ahead. “She has a successful career that she, at least, believes would be negatively impacted by coming out.” She tilted her head on the headrest. “I happen to disagree, but that’s how she feels.”
Meg looked over and saw raw emotion on Tracy’s face as she continued.
“I have to respect that. Or at least not be the one to out her.” She rubbed the tops of her knees anxiously. “No matter how much she lied to me.” She took off her ball cap and folded the brim of it between her hands. “I don’t want to hurt her like that. I cared about her. A lot. I still do in some way.” She made eye contact with Meg as they stopped at a red light. “I gave her my word.”
Meg simply nodded trying to take it all in. “Wow.” She leaned on her door and looked Tracy up and down. “She doesn’t deserve you.”
Tracy lifted her shoulder up and sort of smiled. “I feel kind of bad for her.”
“Why?”
“I think it’s sad that in this day and age she’s so worried about being who she really is. I truly don’t think her fans would care. She’s living a fake life and that’s sad, if you ask me.”
Meg licked her lips, considering. “Is there a chance she’s not a lesbian?”
Tracy gave her a look of utter disbelief from under her furrowed brow.
“I mean like, is she bi, or something?”
“She’s not bi, trust me. She has, like, a boyfriend for the media. But that’s it.” She sighed. “Believe me, I’m not the first girl she’s been with or the last, for that matter.” She pulled at the back of her neck roughly. “For years there’s been rumors floating around about her. I, for one, don’t think people would be totally shocked.”
Meg glanced over her shoulder as she paralleled into a spot outside her favorite burger joint. “So is she, like, worried about getting movie roles if she comes out?”
“I doubt it.”
“Maybe, though. Isn’t that what all the closeted homos are afraid of?”
Tracy cocked her head to the side to face Meg. “Except she’s not an actress.”
Meg gave a slow affirmative nod. “Not an actress.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
Chapter Nine
“I’m going to the pool.” Lexi stood in the center of the living room addressing both her parents directly for the first time in days.
“Okay.” Chris folded down the corner of the New York Times real estate section to make eye contact.
Marnie didn’t look up from the Book Review. “Dinner’s at five. You know the rules, no wet bathing suits at my table.”
Lexi dug deep, swallowing her nerves over what she was about to say. “I’m not coming to dinner.” She knew she was playing dirty. But they’d started it.
Marnie rested the newspaper on her lap, giving Lexi the attention she wanted, but it was Chris who spoke, her tone full of concern. “Why not?”
Lexi looked back and forth between her mothers. “I know Sunday dinner is like the most important thing in this family.” She was being overdramatic, but she didn’t care. She was angry and hurt and she wanted them to know it. “I’m not coming.” Lexi cleared her throat, maintaining her composure as she continued. “I told you a month ago—I’m getting married—and you haven’t even asked me about it. Not once. Not about what kind of dress I want or where it’s going to be. Nothing.” Her throat stung as her emotions rose to the surface. “You didn’t even tell your best friends about it.” Her voice hitched in her throat and her eyes watered. “I can’t figure out if you think I’m not going to go through with it or if you are ashamed of me for marrying Jesse.” She wiped the t
ears away hastily, her anger returning. “Whatever it is, I don’t care.” Her voice cracked again. “I know you hate Jesse because of everything that happened with Aunt Mary.” She licked her lips and shrugged her shoulders. “Believe me, I’m not ecstatic about it either. It’s not ideal. She’s not perfect.” She raked a few wayward curls back off her face and jutted her chin out. “Neither am I,” she announced, remembering vividly her own recent gaffe at the Cape. “She loves me anyway.” She closed her mouth tightly, clenching her teeth a little. “I am going to marry her,” she stated resolutely. “I’m sorry if that disappoints you.”
She turned and walked to the top of the stairs but picked her head up and glowered at her parents as she gripped the railing. “But you know what disappoints me?” She looked back and forth between her mothers. “Pretty much everything about the way you guys are handling it.”
When Marnie and Chris both tried to interrupt at the same time, Lexi held up her hands to stop them. “I’m not fighting about it,” she said, licking her full lips. “Not today.” She adjusted her pool bag on her shoulder. “I’m going to the pool with my friends and then I’m having a barbecue at Jesse’s.” She exchanged eye contact with both of them. “Until you take this seriously, don’t expect to see me at your precious Sunday dinners.”
Lexi descended the stairs and walked out of the house, hearing their combined silence behind her as she headed out into the afternoon heat.
*
Meg was already set up in their favorite corner at the pool with bits of her belongings spread out over several lounge chairs pulled close together. She’d even managed to secure a spot that included one of the round picnic tables with an umbrella for shade, in case they wanted it as the day wore on. As the pool area began to fill, she could sense her blood pressure climbing over the amount of space she’d managed to single-handedly commandeer. Unless it was a special event, the Bay West pool was only open to residents and their guests. But on an afternoon like this, with the fourth straight day of temperatures hitting the upper nineties, it was a safe bet every dyke in the tristate area would be calling in favors for an invite. She could feel some looks being tossed in her direction, so she breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Lexi heading her way.
“Thank God you’re here.” Meg moved her mesh swim bag off the lounge chair next to her. “How’d it go with your moms?”
“It went.” Lexi kicked off her flip-flops, ditched her tank and shorts, and settled her shapely body into the cushioned chair. “Where’s Tracy?”
“She has some dinner thing with her family today. Asked me to send her regrets.” Meg waved across the distance to Jesse, who was still by the entrance chatting with a neighbor whose name Meg didn’t know. “Are you all squared away for the party later?”
Lexi smiled and nodded, sliding on her shades and reaching for the mildest sunscreen Meg had ever seen. Like Chris, who was her birth mother, Lexi had beautiful dark brown eyes and medium-toned skin that the sun burnished a deep brown by July 1. Meg couldn’t be more different. Fair with freckles, she saw little point in applying anything with an SPF lower than fifty.
“Is Betsy coming?” Meg asked as she flipped through a magazine.
“Not until later.” Lexi lifted her body up and leaned on her elbows as she surveyed the pool area which was getting more crowded by the minute. “Jess said she had some stuff to do this afternoon.”
Meg didn’t look up from her reading. “With her girlfriend?”
“I don’t think so. I think she’s helping her mother with something at the house.” Lexi sat all the way up and put her hair in a loose bun on top of her head. “They’re not together, by the way.”
“You sure about that? They looked like they might be together the other night.”
Lexi applied a light layer of lip balm and rubbed her lips together. “Nope. Definitely over.” She crossed one leg over the other and stole a glance at Meg’s magazine. “It’s like I told you before, CJ’s band was playing in the city last week. She stopped by to see Betsy and pick up some things she still had at her place.” She drummed her fingers on the arms of her chair. “It’s a done deal. You can tell Tracy she’s in the clear,” she added with a smile. “Although you know Betsy”—Lexi tipped her head to look at Meg over the rims of her sunglasses—“she’s not really the type to go for the random hookup with somebody who’s in town for a few days.” She pushed her glasses up her nose. “Even if she is hot.”
“Yeah, well, you never know.” Meg made the comment offhandedly, remembering Betsy’s reaction the night she had first seen Tracy’s picture on Meg’s cell phone and their subsequent conversation. She scanned the pool area, thoroughly enjoying the throngs of scantily dressed women who were piling in. Her eyes stopped when she spotted Becca and Mia at the gate with Jesse. The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to filter. “Ugh, what are they doing here?”
Lexi turned to her, thoroughly surprised by Meg’s reaction. “We invited them.”
Meg didn’t answer. There was nothing to say. She just stared at them, already with their hands all over each other’s bodies, as Jesse signed them in.
Lexi touched Meg’s forearm. “Are you mad?” she asked in a very serious voice.
“No,” Meg answered, but her tone gave her away.
“Oh my God, you’re mad. Shit, Meg,” Lexi said, the disappointment in her voice clearly aimed at herself.
“It’s fine, Lex.”
“But you told me you were fine with them coming to the barbecue. I really thought you were.”
Meg tried to blow it off. “I was. I am.” She paused. “It’s stupid.” She shook her head, cutting herself off. “Forget it.”
Lexi kept her voice low. “I’m sorry, Meg. I only invited them because it’s like a hundred degrees out.” She fussed nervously with her hair, taking it out and retying it up again. “I feel so bad right now.”
It was obvious Lexi was upset about her own decision, and the last thing Meg wanted to do was make a scene, particularly since everyone was headed their way. “It’s no big deal.” She pushed her sunglasses up onto her head, so Lexi could see her eyes and know she was sincere. She wasn’t mad at Lexi and she understood her actions. She didn’t have time to explain to her best friend that even though she’d seen Becca and Mia out together a slew of times over the last year and she’d hung out with them plenty, she just wasn’t in the mood for them today. The thought of having to watch her ex-girlfriend and her ex-casual-fling rub suntan lotion all over each other was enough to make her gag. But she was cordial to them anyway as they dropped their gear on the lounger next to her. She asked them how the summer was going and tried not to roll her eyes as they checked with each other for visual reassurance before answering. Then, as they each took off their outer layer of clothing, Meg saw it. Matching tattoos. Mia’s right shoulder, the side of Becca’s rib cage. It was some kind of ancient writing, undoubtedly professing their love for each other, etched out in Sanskrit or Aramaic or some other dead language. Meg kept herself from commenting, willing her eyes to stay focused on their faces as she continued small talk for another few minutes before excusing herself to cool off in the pool.
She lowered her body into the water off the side ledge and let herself slide all the way under, kicking off the side and gliding the entire length of the pool through the tepid water. Popping her head out, she looked toward her cohort of friends laughing and talking in the corner. She ran her hand through her short hair, fanning out the excess moisture. She couldn’t do it. Not today. She was going to have to come up with an exit strategy. Almost immediately a crazy idea occurred to her.
Pulling herself out of the pool, she made her way back to the group just as everyone else was getting ready to go in. It was perfect. She toweled herself off, sat back down, and reopened her magazine across her bended knees. She reached for her phone and typed the message before losing her courage.
Surviving the heat?
The response was immediate. B
arely. You?
Same. You have AC?
Yes, but the city is so cut back to avoid power outages that it’s not much cooler inside my apartment than outside. The message was punctuated with an old-school colon and open parentheses sad face.
Meg’s thumbs moved at a rapid pace. She knew if she thought about it for even a second, she would chicken out. Want to catch a movie? Buy ourselves some cold air for 2 hours?
There was a several-minute pause before any response came and Meg hoped her suggestion hadn’t freaked Sasha out. She waited nervously until the next text appeared.
The Vengeance Seven is playing at Village Gardens Cineplex at 3:35…
The low-budget thriller was probably the last movie on earth Meg wanted to see. She typed back quickly. I’ll meet you there.
Thankfully, Lexi exited the pool before the rest of the gang. Meg was just putting her stuff together to go. Before Lexi could say a word Meg started talking.
“Don’t take this the wrong way.”
“You’re leaving?” Lexi asked, completely shocked.
“It’s not because of them.” Meg nodded in the direction of the pool where Mia and Becca were canoodling as they talked to Jesse. “Seriously, it’s not,” she emphasized. And in truth, it wasn’t just Mia and Becca that had her running for the hills. The barbecue had basically turned into a couples party, and the idea of being the lone single person there was depressing. So she lied.
“Honestly, Lex. Sasha just texted. She’s kind of bummed out.” Meg shrugged her shoulders. “She asked if I’d meet up with her in the city. I feel bad for her, I think she’s homesick.” She watched Lexi’s eyes squint as she analyzed her explanation and knew her BFF didn’t quite believe her. She blew past it. “You don’t care, right? You have a ton of people to hang out with today. She’s got nobody,” she added, playing up the martyr routine heavier than was necessary.
“Sure. Fine.”
“Okay. I gotta jet. Explain to the others for me.”
Meg grabbed her bag and backed away. She avoided direct eye contact, but could see Lexi’s expression soften as she answered, “Yeah, of course.”
Serious Potential Page 7
