by Mynx, Sienna
Damn it.
“Daisy, you have to see my little Clifford. He’s four. I can’t believe we were pregnant around the same time,” Denise shared.
Daisy half smiled. “Yeah, me either.”
“And I had a baby six months ago. Did Janette tell you? Glad daddy held her,” Sandra said giving her a pointed look. Daisy caught the meaning in her words but didn’t react as she thought Sandra wanted her to. Her sister’s eyes softened. “She’s a girl. I named her Katherine. We call her Kit.” Sandra smiled. Daisy returned the smile. What was she to say? She missed all the important dates in her sister's lives and they missed hers. There was no going back. If anybody knew that, it was her.
She ran her hands over her lap and tugged at her dress, adjusting the skirt over her knees, her eyes again drifting to the phone.
“So where is that man that was here earlier?” Sandra asked casually. Denise looked up at her, and Daisy looked away. Janette cleared her throat, pointing out something in a picture to draw away the tension.
Daisy was on the verge of an outburst, cut deep from within out of sheer frustration. If she unleashed it now, it would shock them all, send her mother running and scare her baby. It would make them think her insane. So as the coil around her heart tightened and the muscles beneath her skin constricted, she did nothing and said nothing. Right now, she just waited. She hoped for the phone to ring, for him to show up at the door to demand she let him in with more daisies in his hand, begging her forgiveness.
He’d try to convince her he was worthy of another chance. She’d let him have it for walking out, for folding and throwing in his hand before the dealer left the table. She wanted him to face her family: March right in there and tell her mother that he loved her, respected her and wanted to make her his wife. He’d tell Pete to go to hell. He could be Amy’s father but he wouldn’t dictate their lives.
She smiled to herself, seeing that green blaze in his eyes as he’d return to her arms and ask her for a reward. Aiden loved her, and she’d loved him. There would be nothing between them.
“Daisy?”
“Huh?” She snapped out of it.
“I asked you if Amy sucked her thumb,” Denise smiled.
Daisy nodded. “Yeah. She does.”
“Just like you did, baby-girl, all the way into high school.” Sandra’s eyes smiled but her tone mocked her with false sincerity. Sandra hated the way everyone called her ‘baby-girl’ since they were so close in age. Any time she used the term, Daisy knew what was behind it. She rolled her eyes, remembering the painful days of sixth grade where she’d had to wear braces from years of sucking her thumb. Sandra teased her unmercifully the entire time. She would break her baby out of the habit in due time.
Her sisters chuckled, exchanging memories and debating who Amy looked like the most in the Johnson family tree. The unspoken question lingered, hovering over them like the dark storm clouds moving in over the sea. She braced for it. That question behind the questions was of who Aiden Keane was and where did he disappear to. She saw it in her mother’s eyes when she stumbled through an excuse for leaving her daughter’s party just as it began to wind down with Aiden, Pete and Nina following. Then there were the silent observant stares that greeted her at the door when she returned, alone. They knew. For now, she was sure of it, but they spared her the questions. The phone rang.
“I got it!” She almost ran from the sofa. All eyes were on her. Daisy tripped over Janette’s feet, hurrying to the other side of the sofa. She grabbed the cordless, ignoring all three of them. “Hello,” she rushed in a single breath.
“Ms. Locke, it’s Mathew’s mother. Thanks for the party and for having us. Mathew left his—”
“Oh,” Daisy said not hiding her disappointment. She listened and told the parent to come claim whatever it was the child left and hung up on her. When she turned, she found three sets of eyes locked on her. They knew. If she had any doubt, it was wiped clean by the look they all gave her.
“A parent… it was nothing… nothing,” she sighed, rubbing her temples. Daisy fell back on the sofa and then sat forward, head in her hands. She just couldn’t imagine that Aiden would bail on her and give up. He would not abandon everything they promised to each other. And what was even more shocking was how deeply in pain she was over a love she swore for five years could never exist with this man. Hurt, anger, worry, frustration and missing him all collided in the center of her chest. There it remained like an unmovable stone, weighted to her heart. “I’m gonna go up… upstairs,” she managed, though the act of speaking and breathing were both impossible chores.
“Daisy, wait.” Denise reached, held out her hand just missing Daisy’s to stop her. “I want to talk to you.”
“Not now. I need to check on Amy.”
“Now, baby girl,” Denise said. Her sister’s order was unshakable. The silent stares offered by the other two meant there would be no retreat. Denise stood and headed toward the closed glass doors that were now reflecting the approaching storm. So it begins. Sandra rose soon after, following them. From the sounds of pots clanking behind her, she knew her mother was still in the kitchen. Martha Johnson was avoiding her. She was okay with that, because she was avoiding her as well. But her sisters wouldn’t let her off the hook that easily. The only saving grace was that Amy was safe and sound napping upstairs. The day broke her heart, but her baby had been her happiest. She drew on that.
“Janette, did you tell them?” she asked, cutting her sister a look.
“I had to tell them something. You’d been gone for five years and mama… mama didn’t make it easy when I got home. Hell, Sandra is scared to death of flying. You have no idea how hard it was to get them all on a plane. They want to talk to you. Go.” She nodded toward the open patio door. “You owe them that much.”
“I can’t. Not tonight. Okay? I got a lot—”
“To deal with. I know. But we’re family. Get that through your thick skull. We don’t deal alone. Not our way. You know that.”
“Not with this,” Daisy hissed. “I have to find Aiden. I… I need answers.”
“The test results?”
“He’s not Amy’s father,” she admitted, though she suspected his absence made that plain to everyone. Her eyes lifted to Janette’s. “I told him he was. He’s… he’s hurt, and so am I. I know that it’s screwed up and I need to find him. When he’s hurting like this, he gets crazy.”
“Crazy how?” Janette frowned.
“It’s complicated. He needs to talk it out with me.”
“He’s a grown man. He knew the risk in getting that baby hopes up and yours and his. You can’t tell me he didn’t consider that she wasn’t his,” Janette hushed her. She leaned forward. “If the man loves you, Daisy, then let him come to you and prove it. I told you he has to want you and Amy for more reasons than this thing with him and Pete.”
“I don’t even want to talk about Pete,” Daisy snapped.
“Sounds to me like you got to do more than talk about him. You have to deal with him for the next thirteen years.”
“Whatever, the only person I need to deal with is Aiden right now. He’s hurting. I know him when he’s like that.”
“You’re making excuses. A man doesn’t run as hard from love as hard and fast as that man, and it’s just ‘okay’. Something is broken in him.”
“Something is broken in me!” she snapped back. “I love him. Point blank and end of story. I don’t care if you don’t get it. Or mama.” She dropped her voice. “I love him, and… and I need him.” She slapped her hand over her eyes. “Janette, he’s not running because he doesn’t believe in us. He’s running because he thinks I don’t. It’s who he is. Aiden doesn’t have anything to bargain with, nothing to force me to stay and for him… that means he’s blind. It’s a scary place for him to be. He doesn’t trust anyone.”
“Then let him run, Daisy. Why fight for a man that weak?”
“Because you can’t help who you fall in love with. D
on’t call him weak. Being human doesn’t make you weak. That’s part of his problem. Aiden thinks his vulnerability handicaps him. And for the record, the man has put his life on hold to get us here. I’m not going to give up on him just yet. I won’t.”
“I see,” Janette said.
“For all his faults, he makes me happy, Janette. Last night we… we just fit. And my baby loves him.” Her voice shaky, she blinked back her tears. “He can be happy too if he gives himself a chance. You saw him today with Amy. He loves her, and I want to be with him. So, please, don’t make me feel bad for it. I just can't.”
“Hey, shhh.” Janette rose and grabbed her by the arms. “You know me better than that. Baby-girl, I see how much you love him. That’s not a bad thing. I just want to make sure he loves you just as much. Okay? You deserve that. Amy deserves that. Don’t settle for his issues; don’t make them your issues. It’s okay to demand he come up in here the right way. Okay?”
Daisy nodded.
Janette smiled. “Go talk to those two. I’ll check on my baby upstairs.”
“If the phone rings and he calls—”
“I’ll come for you.”
She was assured and left. The walk to the patio brought her past her mother who, having scrubbed her kitchen, was coming out wiping her hands.
“I’ve put everything away,” Martha said.
“Thank you,” Daisy mumbled. She hesitated then kept going.
Her mother didn’t say another word. When she stepped out on the deck and turned to slide the glass door shut, she caught the look on her mother's face as she watched her. Martha wiped her hands against a dishtowel, holding Daisy’s gaze. The disapproval in her eyes was clear. Daisy looked away, breaking the connection. Outside, under the dying rays of the sun, as the wind blew in hard off the Pacific, she found both her sisters waiting. Denise, seated in the patio chair, stared up at her with her hair in her eyes and her arms crossed. Sandra stood near the edge of the banister looking out at the ocean with her back turned, but possibly the same look her sister wore. Neither of them spoke. They didn’t have to. She knew where they were coming from.
“You wanted to talk to me?”
Sandra turned. “How you been?”
“How do you think?” she answered.
Denise chuckled, quietly rolling her eyes. “We got a lot of questions, but girl we can see it all over you. There’s no hope in getting them answered tonight. You’re just too raw and that mouth of yours. I swear, I don’t think I can take it after how badly you hurt us––scared us.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sure you are,” Sandra said. “That’s why Janette had to come here and look for you after you done sneaked home and left in the night. You didn’t even come to daddy’s funeral.”
What she’d done was blasphemous. There was no excusing it. She hugged herself, the wind pushing her hair from her shoulders. The sky was dark; it had swallowed the sinking sun. The sand beyond her deck still had tossed aside party favors that she needed to clear away. For all the sounds of the breaking waves, the silence between them was thickly charged with disappointment. Daisy swallowed hard. Her stomach lurched but she forced herself to speak calmly. “I didn’t want to hurt mama further or hurt you.”
“Well you did,” Sandra snapped. “You hurt us all, bad. Most of all you hurt daddy. He went to his grave still worried sick about you! All over that man. Yeah, I know the nasty story about Aiden Keane.”
“What did Janette tell you?”
“Everything,” Sandra shot back.
“Not everything. No one knows everything, Sandra, but me! There’s more to it than the million dollars, more to it than me hiding Amy and more to it than me not knowing who her father was. A lot went down. I’m sorry I didn’t run home dragging my shame with me. I made some bad choices, and I had to fix it. I didn’t look for nobody to solve it but me. That’s what daddy taught me; to own up to my stuff. That’s what I done!”
“Right. Hiding and changing your name is owning up to it? Please!” Sandra snorted.
“I did what I had to do!” Daisy said, her eyes burned with the need to cry, but she refused. She sucked in deep breaths of the salty sea breeze, clenching and unclenching her fist. Out of all of them, she and Sandra were the closest in age, only two years apart. Sandra was the only one to not see her as ‘baby-girl’ and their age old rivalry was not the place she wanted to go on a day like today.
“Janette says you in love with that man. Aiden? Is that true?” Denise asked. “Andrew looked him up on the internet while I was packing. Girl, how on earth did you even meet him? And to make a deal like that? Daisy? Is it true? Are you in love with this man?”
“Answer her! Is it true?” Sandra demanded.
“Does it matter? I’m not twenty-two. A lot has changed in five years. Who I love doesn’t have to… doesn’t have to come through either of you.”
“Get over yourself!” Sandra snapped. “Ain’t nobody here to decide on who you can love. You made it clear that what we think don’t matter.”
“Shut up Sandra,” Denise said. She sat forward. “Is that what you think we want?” Denise asked. “You answer me, Daisy.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I was pregnant. I didn’t know who the baby’s father was. I was scared and Pete… he—” Daisy bit back the bitterness. It was hard to speak. But she forced herself to clear the air. “Pete said forget it. It doesn’t matter. I needed to think about my baby and what was best for her, and I didn’t want to face daddy. I ran off. Remember? Broke my promises to him and mama by leaving with Pete the way I did. I just had to do it the best way I knew how. What do you want me to say? I made a choice. I’m making some more, and I don’t need your permission for them.”
“Girl, don’t stand out here making this into something it ain’t. I didn’t fly across the country and leave my brand new baby and husband at home to come here and tell you what to do!” Sandra snapped.
Denise agreed. “We came because for years we worried and prayed for you. We felt like daddy did. Do you know how he felt not knowing where you were?”
“I don’t want to hear this,” she said, hands to both sides of her head.
“Dead!” Sandra blurted. “He felt dead inside. That’s what he told me. He had a lot of faith, but you tested that and Daddy never recovered. You made him feel for the first time that faith wasn’t enough. He said that scared him the most. Our daddy felt dead inside.”
“I’m sorry, okay!! Daisy shouted back. “I never meant to hurt him. I got to live with that and I don’t need you reminding me of it!”
“That’s enough,” Denise said. The two sisters were in a standoff. Sandra glaring and Daisy glaring. Neither of them would back down. Denise stepped between them both. “Let it go, Sandra. That’s not why we're here.” She locked eyes with Daisy once more. “We didn’t come here to hurt you. I can’t speak for Sandra, but I came here because I had to. I had to see you. I came because mama is so jacked up on pride that she actually let us think the worst when you didn’t come to the funeral. I came because Janette told me you got a baby girl who don’t even know she's loved by us.” Denise threw her hands up in defeat. “I’m your sister, Daisy, not your prosecutor. You abandoned us without even giving us a chance. And Sandra, for all her mouth, hurt the most of all. Didn’t you, Sandra?”
Daisy looked to Sandra who rolled her eyes, but tears fell. “I’m so mad at you,” Sandra said sniffing. “You could have called me. You know… you know I would have… you could have called me, Daisy.”
“I’m sorry, Sandra. You’re right. I should have.”
Sandra wiped at her tears. “You were my best friend. You missed my wedding and the birth of my daughter. On the other side you made me miss my niece coming into this world. For what? You can’t tell me a million dollars is worth all of that. How you gon’ let some man buy you?”
“Aiden isn’t… you’re right… a million dollars ain’t worth it. No amount of money is. I met him and
things went wrong. What I done, ain’t on just him. He didn’t force me. Hell, Sandra, he didn’t even trick me. I knew what it was and I… I did it anyway. It’s done. I stayed away because of that. I know I did the right thing by the way you two are looking at me and the way you judging me. I can’t keep apologizing for it though. Either you can forgive me or not. This ain’t easy for me, and I know it ain’t easy for you or for mama. I did what I thought I had to do.”
Denise glared. “You stayed away cause you were ashamed. But you’re right. That was five years ago. I may not like what happened to you, what choices you made, but I love you. That’s it. You hear me? That’s all there is.”
Sandra sighed, the last to give in. “I want too kick your tail from here to the Kentucky Derby. But I love you too. Stop acting like you don’t need us. I ain’t buying it. We need you too.” She only took a step. Daisy went to her and threw her arms around her neck, a geyser of tears exploding from that embrace. Tears of relief. Denise wrapped them both in her arms, holding tight to her sisters.
