by Mynx, Sienna
Daisy dropped her head. The weight of disappointment on her shoulders left them sagging. She couldn’t hide her shame and torment. She should have had this conversation with her parents the day she found out she was pregnant. Now her father was dead and gone and so was her chance to explain herself. To explain why a man like Aiden could capture her heart and make her careful with his was still a mystery to even her.
She stood upright, spine straight, a deep breath solidifying her will. Then she turned and faced her mother. Daisy was relieved to find no judgment in her eyes, just a mother’s understanding. But that relief would be short-lived.
“Yes, Pete’s the father. Janette shouldn’t have told you about this thing with him and me. Pete had only given daddy half the story and I’m not sure how of much of that story daddy shared with you.”
“Enough to turn my stomach,” Martha said.
Daisy flinched. “Okay. Well it’s my job, my responsibility to give you an explanation.”
“Honey, I’ve lived long enough to know the details. Spare me.”
“Not what I mean, mom. I’m talking about how I met Aiden and why I agreed to his deal. What I’ve been doing, and why…why I’m um—”
Martha stared on. The look she gave caught Daisy’s breath. She lost all train of thought. Her throat went dry. She pressed her backside into the sink and nervously picked at the molding right under the edge. Daisy stalled, trying to gauge her words to measure the right mix of truth and damning information. But there was no way to gauge this. Truth was truth. Sooner or later Aiden would stop running, just like she did. And when he came for her, not even the bond she shared with her mother could keep her from going to him. His hold on her didn’t weaken in his absence. In fact, it grew stronger. He was under her skin. Yes, she knew it. When he was ready, she’d open the door for him. Her mother, her sisters and even Pete won’t stop that. They’d all have to accept it.
“What you saying, girl?” Martha asked, her eyes searching, worry lines forming around them as they squinted and studied her. “Speak up.”
“I’m saying that I love him,” she confessed, like a sinner to a minster. She hated the sound of her voice. Loving him wasn’t wrong, and if she couldn’t make that clear now, then how could she expect her mother to ever understand it.
“Pete? You love Pete.”
“No. Aiden. Aiden Keane. He and I… we’re in love.”
Martha just stared, no reaction, not even a blink. Was she angry? Disappointed? Confused? Did she hear her? Daisy sucked in another breath of courage. “It has nothing to do with money, mama. When we met again, it just happened.”
“That’s enough,” Martha said forcefully. “Enough, Daisy. You’re breaking my heart.”
“Mama, I want you to know. I need you to know.”
“I know. I understand. You’ve always walked through life with blinders on. That’s Charles’ fault and I suppose mine too.”
“Daddy had nothing to do with what I did.”
“Charles had everything to do with it. He always ruled you with a gentle hand, and I was always the one you didn’t respect. Think I didn’t know about you sneaking out in the night to run the streets with that whore, Jessiemae? Think I didn’t know about you skipping school and letting Pete into my house when I wasn’t home? I’m your mother, child. I know more than I want to know about the paths you choose.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Hmpf! Your daddy was blind to your faults and made you blind to your own. He treated you like some kind of porcelain doll. He was hard and strict with Janette, with Denise, but you and Sandra came later––his baby girls. You were the surprise though. I didn’t think I could make any more babies when I was caught pregnant with you. Charles was over the moon. Thought you were going to be a boy. I remember when the doctor put you on my belly. I remember his face.”
Daisy frowned. “Are you saying that daddy didn’t want me?”
Martha laughed. It was a bitter dry laugh, void of humor. “Oh no. He may have been disappointed, but I woke up to find him holding you. He had you pressed up into his chest, whispering to you. And Lord forgive me, but I swear that man held you to his heart more than he did any of us until his last breath.”
“How could you say that? Daddy loved us all.”
“That may be. But you was his baby. You didn’t even cry, and if you did in the night, only he could settle you. Gave me fits though. Wouldn’t take to the breast and wouldn’t do any of the things I needed you to do. You was his.”
“A child belongs to both parents. If I haven't learned anything these past days, it’s that.”
Martha stared at her long and hard. Daisy shifted under her mother’s gaze. Her hands tightened the grip they had on the edge of the sink.
“He named you Daisy, after his grandmother. He said she was something else in her day. Guess he knew what was in you before I did. Your daddy was instantly in love. You’ve had that effect on men, and you used it. From school… to church… to wherever you went, you used it against them.”
Daisy cringed. She didn’t like what her mother was implying. She’d heard a different version of this ‘thing’ mama said was in her that made her bad, wayward, thoughtless, selfish and blind. Daddy would always come to her defense. Defend her spirit. Especially when she failed to live up to her parent's hopes for her. Grades mediocre, she never finished anything and barely graduated from school. Daddy said she was a dreamer, and that there wasn’t anything wrong with dreams. Sure, she made mistakes like any kid, but for her mother her mistakes were larger than life compared to her sisters. They only made her feel less and less worthy.
Martha took a step. “I’m saying to you, child, that you always looking for the easy way and always latching on to some man to give it to you. That’s why you took up with one of the Doyle boys. I ain’t never seen a Doyle man with a black woman. Mrs. Doyle did everything ‘cept put roots on you to get you away from her son. But Pete trailed you around town, nose wide open and he ain't been with a white girl since. You had him doing your bidding, running away." She wagged her finger at Daisy. "That was your idea, wasn’t it?”
“Not true! I fell in love with Pete and… and we were grown. We left because we were in love.”
“Right. That’s why you dumped him over a weekend in Vegas?”
“You’re wrong. Our breakup was because of something we both agreed to. We both wanted it.”
“Don’t deny it, Daisy. That’s why you run instead of coming home, and now that you got a good young man to be the father of that sweet baby you looking for another way out.”
“Stop it, mama!” Daisy snapped. “Nothing about this is easy. Nothing. Five years I was out there without you. I wanted to call you so many times. I was so scared. I needed you.”
"Then why didn’t you? Because it was hard, that’s why. Because you’d have to atone for what you done!”
“No! Because I was afraid it would finally be the one reason you could use to—”
“To what?”
“Not love me! To say: I told you Charles. The girl ain’t no good, neva was, neva gon’ be. To turn your back on me and after everything I’d lost and done, I just couldn’t take that on, mama. Nobody wants their parent to look at them with disgust.”
Martha dismissed her with an eye roll.
“If Daddy could forgive me, he would. I know it. But not you, mama, you wouldn’t. Coming home pregnant and not knowing who the father was would humiliate you as first lady in the church, the town. And I know you care what people think. I know you never cared for me and my ways.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is!”
“I love you all. All my babies I love the same.”
“You love me less.” Daisy’s voice broke over the final word, ‘less’. That ripped open a wound she pretended for years she didn’t have. She shied away from those feelings, kept them buried and only confessed them to Pete when he questioned why she talked of her mother with such bittern
ess. Pete was more than a boyfriend then. He was her best friend and the only person that didn’t think her ways were a bad thing. Until he got burned by them.
“I left Hollow Creek because I knew that if I stayed, there’d be only one way to make you happy and that was to be you. I can’t help that I wanted something different, and I can’t stand the way you look at me when I reach for it.”
Martha was stunned, forced to listen.
“I met Aiden Keane in a hotel, by chance. I wasn’t looking for him. I don’t think he was looking for me. Not really. He made an offer to give me and Pete money to get to—”
“I don’t need to hear this!”
“You do!” Daisy cut in, slamming the bottom of her hand to the sink she leaned against. “You need to hear all of it. He made Pete and me an offer. Pete and me. It took us both to get that money, mama. Both! He said that love could be bought. I did it for money; I’ll even admit that I talked Pete into it for money. But, Aiden, he did it for other reasons.”
“Cause he’s sick!”
“No, yes… yes, mama. He’s sick inside. He hurts for reasons I won’t share. Sometimes a person can hate themselves so much it becomes terminal, like a cancer. Ask me how I know.”
“Lawd, Jesus.”
“Then ask the Lord! He’ll tell you mama that Aiden didn’t have any faith in anything, not even himself. You know what that does to a person? No faith. Daddy preached on it every Sunday. Everybody got to have something to believe in, mama. It makes you lost, takes away your compass; the one that can always lead you to do the right thing. You may know me and why I took the money. Maybe I did do the easy thing by running. But you don’t know him. He got more than he bargained for in that deal. It changed all of us, mama.”
Martha turned away, shaking her head. Thunder clashed after a rapid lightening flash, drawing Daisy’s eye back to the window. The lights to the house blinked on and off. The storm was raging, just like all the emotions her mother’s indifference and judgment stirred. Daisy returned her attention to Martha whose eyes were closed as if she was praying and asking God for guidance. She did it that way when they were kids and she was ready to level a punishment that her father could be convinced to lift. There was some truth in what her mother said. Her dad did give and forgive very easily of her faults. But it didn’t mean that she was the worst for it.
“I just want you to understand.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I don’t feel the need to understand that man. He’s out of your life. For good.”
“No he isn’t. Why would you say that? You don’t even know him.”
“Yes he is. And it’s for the best.”
“Mama, you aren’t hearing me. Aiden isn’t out of my life because I don’t want him to be. He got what he thought he wanted back in Vegas and then he found out that money wouldn't do it, not alone. A person needs more. You need to believe in someone. So he found Amy and me, and he started to believe again. And I had enough time to grow up to know the difference. So now I believe in him.”
“That man is a stain!” Martha shouted, her voice booming louder than thunder. “People like him just want to taint and destroy everything in their reach. They think that money is the only way. I’d done seen it before, girl. I’m not stupid. I was young and dumb just like you! You gon’ stand here and tell me you are willing to let him buy you all over again? Over my dead body! Open your eyes! It’s more than you, Daisy. You got that little girl, and thank God she doesn’t belong to him. It’s time for you to really grow up, girl. Stop chasing lust. Charles ain’t here to listen to your foolish ways. And I ain’t buying it.”
“You can’t control me, mama. You and I both know that. How can you forgive so much from so many but judge so harshly?”
“It’s not for me to forgive.”
“It’s not for you to judge.”
“I’m your mother!”
“Then act like it!” she shouted. “For once trust me, let me be.”
“No! No.” Martha snapped and walked out of the kitchen. Daisy closed her eyes listening to the rain pour.
****
“The answer is no.” Pete gave a chuckle. Aiden just stared at him. Said nothing. Trying to remember why he even considered this a good idea.
“Before you ask, I won’t be bought.”
To this, Aiden smirked. Pete had no idea who he was. Of course he figured he and his power existed only in his wallet. Money wasn’t his only means to getting what he wants. Part of him wanted to show Petie-boy that fact and wipe that smug smirk off his face. Yes, he smoldered with that kind of need. But he locked it down. He worked hard at suppressing it. He’d never convince Daisy to let him in her and Amy’s life that way. If he didn’t learn anything, he learned that much.
“Let’s not do this here.” Aiden cut his eyes over to the bar. His clothes, heavy from the rain, sagged on him. The weight was just like the sour feelings of loss that weighted down his heart. He ran his hand back through his damp hair and walked off behind Pete. Entering the empty bar, his mouth immediately watered for a shot of something strong. But alcohol and his mood was a toxic mix, especially since he had a singular purpose: neutralize Pete as a threat. He could maybe end the war between them both to get his lady to let him in. He had to start somewhere because he was working with nothing.
Taking a seat, he sucked in deep breaths and released a slow calming one. Regaining control, Aiden reminded himself that he faced tougher opponents in life. In and out of the boxing ring, he always dominated down in the dirt with gangsters that would eat Pete for breakfast. He could do this. How hard could being a little humble be?
“Give me a Bud,” Pete said. He could feel him staring, enjoying his suffering. That was to be expected. If the tables were turned, and if he had been Amy’s father, a conversation wouldn’t take place, period. Therein lies the rub. This punk kid that he hated so openly held more power than any man in his life.
“And you? What you drinking?” The woman’s drawl indicated she wasn’t from the coast. She looked closer to his age, copper hair, dyed from a bottle, was in messy curls that fell to her face, pinned up to the back of her head. She gave him that inviting look most women did when drawn to his brood, his wealth but never him. Daisy was the only one that was drawn to the real him. So he thought. Or was that again him seeing what he wanted to see? He looked away from his direct glaring contact. The anger surfacing, he was fucking losing the battle after he’d waged the war. The bartender shrugged, gave Pete the beer and moved on.
“What the hell is this about? I don’t have time for a pissing match.”
“Amy,” Aiden said through his teeth, his eyes focused on the mirrored reflection of them both.
“My daughter you mean?”
Aiden felt the knife turn. The words repeated in his skull, then pooled into a heart that shuddered with acceptance. Bottom line, Amy wasn’t his. How did he get so attached to that kid? Why did it fuck with him so? He never even liked kids. Now, he felt like he was in a place that didn’t exist before he looked into her eyes. It was somewhere beyond the grace he felt when she stood before him and sang her Easter song in her favorite dress, or cried and blamed him for making a mess.
“Fine, you won’t say it so I will,” Pete said, taking his silence to mean something it didn’t. Aiden focused in on him. Pete turned to face him in his bar seat. “I don’t want you any where near her.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah, man. I’m serious on this one. It ain’t got nothing to do with me and you.”
“Really?”
“She’s my kid and she needs to know me. I respected every boundary that existed before that test. Something you couldn’t do, I might add. So now she’s confused, and she’s only five. She needs somebody to protect her. Remember, she’s innocent in all of this. I won’t have you around mistreating my kid because she ain’t yours. Because admit it, Aiden. When you look at her from now on, you will see me. And that’ll kill you.”
It dawned
on Aiden in that moment why he hated Pete so much. Something he dismissed over the years. Peter Doyle would always be Daisy’s first love, first everything and the only other man to touch her. Now, he would always be Amy’s father. Could he live with that?
Aiden sat back in his bar seat and decided. “Then we have a problem, Pete. Because I am around. I plan to stay around. I plan to be there for Amy and Daisy if they’ll have me,” he said, swallowing down the rest of his words. Aiden never revealed his plans out of sort like this. His cool was raggedy to be doing it now. But it was the plain truth. He loved his girls, both of them and this war, five years of this, had led him to this moment. He wasn’t going to let either of them go.
