‘I’m house-trained too,’ she said witheringly. ‘Isn’t that an advantage?’
His smile gave way to laughter then.
‘Well, really, Alex, what did you think—that I’d sit there sullen and stupid all night?’
‘No, but nor did I expect you to have half the room hanging on your every word and have them falling over each other to talk to you.’
‘That wasn’t me,’ she said acidly. ‘That was my status. Walking in with Alex Carlisle, I couldn’t be anything but a success.’
‘Why do you insist on hiding behind a wall of sarcasm from even the vaguest compliment?’ He accelerated. ‘Dani, it was you. I’ve seen far more famous women, far more supposedly important women, fail to have anything like that effect on a group like that. You charmed them.’
‘I didn’t. I just talked to them.’ Dani fidgeted with the side seam of her jeans. ‘Why were you in such a rush to leave, anyway?’
‘I want you.’
OK, that was to the point and something of a relief given the lust she was grappling with. Even so, she couldn’t resist a tease. ‘But I have a headache, remember?’
Alex dragged himself away from her warm, sleepy body, showered and dressed. Made himself a nuclear-strength coffee and forced the bitterness down his throat. He needed the caffeine hit. He powered up the computer on the desk overlooking the garden, then checked his phone. There were five messages waiting. He scrolled and then stilled. One was from Patrick, which he ignored. One was from the investigator.
Alex didn’t care how early it was, he was paying the man enough to be able to call him any time—even two hours before dawn. The guy was impressively lucid considering he’d just been woken—but there wasn’t much to report. Nothing on Dani’s brother. Not good enough.
‘Where else can you look? There must be something, right?’
He was increasingly determined to find him for her. The investigator explained the problem—when searching the birth records, Dani’s mother’s name wasn’t coming up anywhere, which meant that at the time of her son’s adoption the original birth certificate was sealed. So, without a court order, the only person who can access the full details on the certificate is that child himself—no one else, not even his sister. The investigator needed to find him through other means. He asked if Alex knew any more details.
‘No. I don’t have more details—no date, no photo, no nothing. There can’t have been that many babies adopted out that year. Check the ones before and after. Just find him.’ He jabbed the end button and tossed it in the bench. Damn.
A faint sound alerted him. Whirling round, he saw her—in the doorway, her wide eyes searching his, so full of fearful hope. Alex winced. He wasn’t big on bursting bubbles for people. And so he did it quick—less painful that way, right?
‘There’s nothing yet, sorry, Dani. It’s not looking good.’
For a moment she did nothing, the shock etched on her face. She believed he could help, didn’t she? Frustration burned hotter inside him. He wanted to be able to. He wanted to smooth away that pinched look—to sweep the pain from her eyes. He moved. But she did too—turning her back to him.
‘I’m going to make breakfast.’ She opened the fridge. ‘Pizza. Sounds weird, I know, but it’s the only thing I can cook. You’ve got ready-made bases in here. I saw them the other day. Spinach and egg. Some people think it’s gross but I love it.’
Alex said nothing, just stood on the other side of the bench and watched her sudden burst of busyness. She put the bases, spinach, eggs and cheese down. Found his biggest knife.
‘Do you have pasta sauce? I need some pasta sauce.’
Hell, she looked tired. And suddenly he too felt exhausted. Maybe they should both just go back to bed—to sleep.
By now she had the board. The green leaves were under the guillotine.
‘Dani.’ He risked life and limb and put his hand on hers. ‘We’ll do everything to find him for you, I promise. Everything.’ He applied more pressure to his grip. ‘You can trust me, OK?’
‘Sure.’ The knife hit the board.
Bang, bang, bang.
No more talking. She wouldn’t look at him. She wasn’t going to let him in on it—her disappointment, her fear, her hurt. And that made him almost as disappointed himself.
His phone beeped again and he wanted to chuck it in the waste-disposal unit. He wanted to help her. Wanted her to have the success that he hadn’t—to find the happiness she wanted. Instead he was rendered useless.
When he looked up from tapping out a message she’d abandoned the spinach. ‘I don’t feel like pizza anymore.’ She put the knife down. ‘What a mess.’
‘The housekeeper will take care of it.’
But she wasn’t talking about that mess and he knew it.
Her shoulders slumped. ‘I’m sorry the search is taking up your time, Alex. I know you have more important things to be doing.’
Was that defeat he’d just heard from her? He saw the way her fingers trembled as she tucked her hair behind her ear. Well, that wasn’t right. He wanted the strong, sassy Dani back.
‘You mean, you think I actually do important things?’ He tried to tease her out. ‘I thought I was only about swanning around and seducing the nearest available woman.’
‘OK, I admit that when you’ve done your seducing for the day you might put some effort into your work, as well.’
Clearly she was not herself.
‘Why, thank you.’ He walked to her side of the bench, determined to bring the sparkle back to her eyes. ‘But you’re mistaken about something.’
‘I am?’ She finally looked at him. ‘What?’
‘I’m never done with seducing for the day.’ He smiled down at her. Then his smile stuttered as he saw how the pain came from right inside her, her big brown eyes dulled with sorrow and uncertainty.
He wound his arms around her and pulled her close for a plain old-fashioned hug, tempering the desire that surged every time he got within three feet of her, pressing her head into his shoulder so he didn’t have to see that hurt anymore, because somehow it hurt him. And he wanted to pretend he really was helping somehow.
‘It’s going to be OK, Dani.’ It was all he could think of to say. And it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t guarantee her anything, but in this moment it didn’t stop him trying.
Dani figured she must be the worst temp ever. She hadn’t been paying any attention to what Cara had been saying. All she could think about was the news Alex had relayed. The disappointment was overwhelming. Nothing. No leads—no possibilities. She might never find Eli. She might never get to tell him how sorry their mother was—how she’d thought of him every day—how she’d wanted to love him. Dani might never find her family. The thoughts cut her heart. She had to focus on something else—like answering letters or inputting numbers. But futility drummed a relentless beat—she wasn’t going to do it; she wasn’t going to be able to do it for her mother.
And the follow-on questions grew louder and louder in her head—if she wasn’t going to find her brother, why was she still here? How much longer did she give Alex’s PI to find him? How much longer would she let herself be with Alex?
For the first question the answer was easy—they had to have more time. She hadn’t packed up and moved countries to give up after only a few weeks. She wouldn’t let them stop. Somewhere someone must be able to help—surely they’d find him eventually.
As for Alex, he was just part of the deal, wasn’t he? The physical favour. Hardly—she mocked herself. No way was it ‘just sex’ and uncomplicated—it already was complicated for her. Half her heart was his. And he hadn’t asked for it. How she wished he would.
‘Did the meeting run late last night?’
She finally heard Cara. ‘Oh. Not too bad, no.’
‘Oh.’ Cara smiled. ‘You seem a little tired today. Distracted.’
Dani felt her cheeks warm. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s OK,’ Cara said. ‘There’s
not much to do today anyway.’
Dani’s mobile rang.
‘I’ll send a taxi to pick you up this afternoon.’ Alex got straight to the point. ‘I have a thing I have to go to. I forgot to mention it this morning.’
‘Sure. No problem.’ So he didn’t need his ‘date’ for this one. Dani battled against feeling disappointed but lost. Nor could she control the feeling of concern from rising—he’d sounded tired, which was unusual. She wished she could see him—to read his expression—because something had definitely been off.
Silly. She reminded herself with hard words—she wasn’t his mother, or his girl, not even a friend. She was his flatmate with fringe benefits. That was all.
‘That was Alex?’ Cara asked.
Dani nodded, knew her colour was rising.
‘Gorgeous, isn’t he?’ Cara sparkled. ‘He and Lorenzo are the most eligible bachelors in town—and not because of their bank balances or bodies. Although—’ she looked coy ‘—I don’t know that Alex is going to be a bachelor for much longer.’
Dani looked at Cara with great concern. ‘Can I get you a cup of tea or some cold water?’ Pregnancy was making the poor woman delusional.
Alone in his house, she found some ready-made soup in the fridge, ate it while standing. She sloped up to bed early. But despite feeling exhausted she couldn’t sleep. She went back downstairs and curled up on the sofa—but she couldn’t settle into a book, decide on a telly channel, or choose a movie. It was the tone she kept hearing—that discordant note in his voice when he’d rung. She couldn’t sleep until she’d seen him.
She heard the gates and the garage door. He wasn’t nearly as late as she’d thought he’d be. She listened to his slow, heavy tread on the stairs and waited. He appeared in the doorway and shock rippled through her. She sat up. ‘What’s wrong?’
He looked awful—his face all shadows and angles. And as he stepped further into the room she saw the shadows were darkened by something else—pain. He looked at her, his expression so tortured that the vulnerability struck a knife in her heart. She couldn’t believe this wreck of a man was Alex. Usually full of such vitality. She’d never thought he could look so destroyed.
‘Tell me.’ She needed to know. She needed to help.
But he was silent.
Her cheeks heated. He didn’t want to tell her. Was she overstepping the mark? Too bad. She reverted to blunt speak. ‘You look awful.’
A little puff of air escaped him and he flopped onto the sofa beside her. He closed his eyes, his brows knitting. Then suddenly he spoke. ‘I had a meeting with my father.’
Dani blinked. That she hadn’t expected. ‘But—’
‘Samuel Carlisle wasn’t my father.’
Oh—Dani thought it but no sound came out of her mouth. Instead she sat utterly still. And waited.
‘I always knew my parents weren’t that happy. It wasn’t fights all the time or anything. It was just…chilly. Then I heard my mother one day on the phone. I was only twelve but I wasn’t naive. It was an argument with her lover. I walked in to where she was and she hung up straight away. I asked her and she denied it, tried to laugh it off. But I knew. And I never told Samuel because I knew it would freak him.’
He went silent. ‘After that I went to boarding school. I was still close to Samuel, but not her. I went to university, went into the business. Then Da…’ he paused ‘…Samuel got sick. He needed a donor. She didn’t want me to be tested—said I was too young. But I did it anyway. The blood work came through. I’m a really rare type. I looked it up, and Samuel’s—had them checked. There was no way he could be my father.’
Dani bit down on her lips as she watched his pallor increase.
‘I confronted her—she admitted it but begged me not to tell him. To him I was his only child. It would kill him.’ He sighed. ‘So I didn’t, of course. But I wanted to know the truth. She wouldn’t say—said his name was irrelevant. Nothing more than a sperm donation. Insisted Samuel was my real father.’
‘And wasn’t he?’ Dani asked softly. ‘In every way that counted?’
He turned his head and looked at her. ‘I had the right to know. Samuel had the right to know.’
That was true. She nodded—she understood the need to know.
‘She died before she ever told me who my father really was. I could never ask Samuel. So I thought I’d never find out. Samuel lived for a few more years—desperately sick, desperate to see the bank succeed. So I made it succeed.’
The silence was long. And eventually Dani prompted him. ‘And then he died.
‘And almost a year to the day I got the call.’
Dani’s mind searched for the answer and then made the stabbing guess. ‘Patrick.’
‘So obvious now, isn’t it?’ His smile was faint and bitter. ‘He was their best man, can you believe that? He used to be like an uncle—always around when I was a kid. Now I know why. After she died he moved to Singapore—for business, apparently. He’s been there since. Never married. He insists the affair ended years before, but how can I believe a word he says? And now he wants a relationship.’ He turned and stared at Dani. ‘How can you have a relationship with someone when they’ve done nothing but lie to you all your life?’
He screwed his face up. ‘How could they? It could have been found out so much sooner if I’d ever been seriously sick. She ran the risk of it for years. But she never said anything. All my life I had the Carlisle duty drummed into me.’ His anger mounted. ‘The bank. The business. It was my destiny—rammed into me.’
‘What else would you have done?’
‘I’ve no idea. I never seriously thought about it. It just was. Even Patrick advised me to go into it—when he was doing his honorary uncle bit.’
‘But you’re good at your job, Alex. You enjoy it. No one could work the kind of hours you do if they didn’t enjoy it.’
‘You think? What about all those people who work two, three, four jobs just to get food on the table? It’s about necessity, Dani. And it was necessary for me. Samuel was sick—he was dying and the company hit the skids. I had to turn it round—rescue it while he was alive to see it saved. I had to prove to everyone that I was good enough to do it—that I deserved to be the boss, not just because I was his heir. I did it all for him. For her. And she’d lied to me. For years and years she lied.’
Betrayal. It hurt so much when a parent let you down. Dani understood that too.
He shook his head. ‘My whole life has been a lie, Dani.’
She looked at the tension etched into his face and took his hand in hers. ‘When did he call?’
‘Thursday, almost two weeks ago.’
The day before he’d kissed her. Now she understood why he had. He’d been having a rough time and gone for a moment of fun. And, boy, had he got a whole lot more than he’d bargained for. Poor Alex.
His anger rippled out again. ‘I insisted on tests. But it’s true.’ His fingers tightened unbearably on hers but she held in the wince, knowing he wasn’t aware of his strength. ‘Why should I have anything to do with him?’
‘People lie for all sorts of reasons, Alex. I’m not saying it’s right, but maybe you need to ask what those reasons might be.’
‘There’s no excuse.’
‘People lie to protect—sometimes themselves, sure, but sometimes to protect others too. Maybe they lied to protect you. They didn’t want to hurt you.’
‘Protect me from what? Not knowing hurt more, Dani.’ He lifted his hands from her and looked at them. ‘I used to wonder if she’d been raped.’
‘Alex.’ Her heart wrenched and she grabbed his hands again with both of hers and pulled them to her chest. Of course he’d have worried about the worst. Afraid of what his mother’s secrecy might have meant.
He looked at her, tormented. ‘And they let me wonder. Worry. For nothing. I can’t forgive them for that.’ The deepest hurt poured out. ‘He’s despicable, Dani. I don’t want anything to do with him. I can’t believe he’
s my father. I don’t want to be related to him.’
She had to reach out to him. She had to help somehow, because she understood that hatred—and the underlying fear that the badness might come through his blood.
‘I’ve lied to you too, Alex,’ she said quietly. It wasn’t even a lie that would affect him, yet she felt terrible for it. Even more so as she felt him freeze. ‘I told you my parents were dead,’ she said quickly. ‘And my mum is but my father isn’t.’
Silent, he stared at her.
She breathed in and then said it. The one thing she tried never to think about. ‘He’s in jail.’
‘Oh—’
‘As far as I’m concerned he died the day he came to see Mum when she was dying of cancer and conned the last of her life savings from her.’ Dani spoke fast, stopping his interruption. She wasn’t telling him this to get his sympathy, but so he’d grasp what she wanted him to learn. ‘He’s a crook, Alex. A conman—theft, fraud, you name it, he’s done it. The kind of lowlife who preys on the sick and dying.’ She hated him, hated the way her heart raced and her skin went cold when she thought of him. ‘He wandered in and out of our lives—between sentences, between better options. He’d come and sweet talk his way back to Mum, saying he was changed. Always lies. Right up to the end, he stole from her. He has no conscience, no empathy, nothing.’ And she’d wanted to believe him too, hadn’t she? Every time. So not only had he stolen from her mother, he’d stolen from her too—taken her credit card and maxed it out. She let go of Alex’s hand to push back the sweep of her fringe. ‘His blood runs through my veins, Alex, but I’m not like him,’ she said fiercely. ‘I’m not anything like him.’ She spoke faster, insistent. ‘It doesn’t matter who your biological parents are. You’re still you. You’re not him. You’ll never be him.’
Alex just kept staring at her. ‘Is it that easy to accept, Dani?’
‘No,’ she said honestly. ‘But you have to. We’re unique, right? It’s our experiences that shape us, not just our DNA.’
Caught On Camera With The Ceo Page 12
