"Forget about them for tonight, my prince," she whispered and reached down to his pants. "Come to bed. I'll help you forget them."
He shook his head, but let her stroke him. "I will not forget their insolence. I'm their prince. I do not forget. I do not forgive."
She reached into his breeches, her fingers deft. "Let them play their games, then, my lord. The important thing is that they'll kill Frey. That's why you're here, isn't it? To help kill Frey?"
He snorted, wanting to push her away, but letting her do her work; it was why he kept her.
"Killing Frey is no longer enough for me," he said. "I now have a second enemy. Valien must die."
Erry's fingers froze. She inhaled sharply. She pulled away and stared silently.
"You are a fool," she whispered. With one fluid movement, she pulled her tunic over her head. She stood naked before him. "Come to bed, Ler, and forget this foolishness."
He stared at her naked flesh and licked his lips. He stepped forward, grabbed her arms, and shoved her onto the bed. He mounted her at once, making her gasp.
"I can't kill him in the open," he said as he moved atop her. "No... the men would see me as a murderer, a usurper. I could kill him in the capital... yes, in the chaos of battle, I could kill him."
Erry closed her eyes and placed her hands in his hair. "Be silent, my prince. Be silent and take me harder."
He took her harder, but he would not be silent. "No, if I kill him in the capital, it would be too late. The capital must see me as a savior, leading the Resistance to slay the tyrant, a hero liberating his homeland." He hissed down at Erry. "Valien will have to die soon, and I will take over this ragtag army of his."
Erry moaned, moved her body beneath him, and placed a finger against his mouth.
"Please," she said, eyes closed. "Please stop talking. Harder."
He snarled, fists clenched, moving faster atop her. "I'll have to slay him in the shadows. No one must know it was me. And then, Erry... then I can take over his Resistance, use my Genesis Shards to claim the throne, and be hailed a hero." He grinned, breathing heavily. "Valien will be dead, I will be a beloved emperor, and you will be my concubine."
He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, then lay atop her, drained and weary. She held him close, silent, her eyes still afraid.
TILLA
She lay in his arms, the burrow cold and his embrace warm, and she had never felt so lost, and she had never felt so much in just the right place.
"I never want to leave," she whispered, nestled against him under the blankets.
Lying on his back, he laughed. "So we'll spend the rest of our lives here, in a gopher hole a league outside the capital?"
She shrugged. "It works for gophers. Why not for us?"
They had been here, in this underground hideaway, for three days now. They had been the worst three days of Tilla's life: three days of nursing Rune's wounds, shivering in the cold, and mostly worrying. She worried about the Legions finding them. She worried about her father and whether he'd survived the slaughter at Lynport. She worried about where they'd go next, whether they'd spend their lives in hiding or seek distant lands. Yet they were also the best three days of Tilla's life: three days of holding Rune close, kissing his lips, making love to him in the dark, and whispering of memories.
"Last I checked, we were Vir Requis," Rune said, "meant to fly as dragons, not huddle underground as gophers."
Tilla propped herself up on her elbows, leaned over him, and kissed his lips. "But I like huddling here. It's safe and it's warm and it's better than any of that damn world above us, a world of fire and blood and cruelty. Here there are none of those things. Here I'm happy."
She kissed him again and he touched her hair.
"I have to check your wounds," she whispered and began to unlace his shirt.
"Again?" he asked.
She nodded, pulled off his shirt, and began to work at his trousers. "You were very wounded. I have to make sure you're all right."
He raised an eyebrow. "So why are you removing your clothes too?"
"I have a little scratch. Can you check it for me?"
He nodded. "Show me. Where—"
She did not let him finish his sentence. She kissed him again, a deep kiss, their hands clutching. She needed this. She had needed it for so long—during her cold days in the Legions, during those bloodred nights of seeing him chained, perhaps for years upon the beaches. She had him now. She had him here underground, hers alone, her Rune. All her world had burned above. All her dreams, her hopes, her life itself had collapsed, and yet she had him. He was all she had left. She would not let him go. And so she made love to him again; she had lost count of how many times she'd loved him here underground. Countless times was not enough.
She lay in his arms for a long while. She looked around the burrow, seeing shelves of food and drink, enough to last for moons. A soft laugh fled her lips.
"I was an officer in the greatest military the world has known," she said. "I lived in a large home all my own. I commanded men in battle. I was groomed by the princess of Requiem herself. But I'm happier here. I would be happy staying in this burrow forever with you."
"And yet we can't stay forever," Rune said, one hand against the small of her back, the other on her thigh. "My wounds are healing. We'll have to move soon."
Tilla closed her eyes. She had known this day would come, though she feared it.
"Let's run far away, as far as we can," she said. "We'll travel across Requiem, through the ruins of Osanna, and to the eastern sea. We'll fly from there. We'll head south to Terra Incognita, the unexplored country." She squeezed Rune tight. "We'll find a new life there, far from the Regime, far from everything we've ever known. Just you and me."
She tried to imagine that southern land of myth. The empire of Requiem stretched across forests, seas, mountains, and deserts. Yet there were lands beyond the empire too, lands no dragon had ever flown to. What lay beyond the edges of maps? Would they find lush forests full of fruit and game? Would they find foreign civilizations or strange animals? Were there forests there or deserts, mountains or plains? Would they find a new life, Tilla and Rune in unknown landscapes of adventure? She nodded, tightened her lips, and drew comfort from the warmth of his body.
Yet he remained silent, and when Tilla looked at him, his face was somber.
"Rune?" she said and touched his cheek. "What's wrong?"
He sighed, staring at the ceiling of wooden slats. "Can we really abandon home?"
Tilla leaned her head against his shoulder. She spoke softly. "Our home burned. Lynport is gone."
I burned it, she wanted to add, but her throat tightened, and she could say no more. The memories and guilt clutched her. She saw herself a dragon again, flying over Lynport, burning its roofs, shattering its columns, slaying its defenders. Her eyes stung.
"I don't just mean Lynport," Rune said. "All of Requiem is our home. This is the land of our forebears. The land my father governed. Can we truly abandon it, flee to distant lands and forget all who suffer here?"
She gripped his shoulders. "I will not have you imprisoned again. I will not lose you again, Rune Brewer. Do you understand?" She squeezed his shoulders painfully. "You might be thinking you can find the Resistance, that you can fight on, but I won't let you. I won't. I..."
Her eyes dampened, her throat constricted, and she could only lie against him and hold him close.
"I must find them," he said, embracing her. "Valien and Kaelyn still live. Hundreds of resistors still live, and they will fight on. I must fight on." He smoothed her hair. "I won't ask you to join me. If you want to flee, you can—" He bit down on his words and scrunched his lips. "Oh, bloody Abyss. I will ask you to join me. I am asking you. Find the Resistance with me. Fight with us."
She squeezed him so tight he grunted. Her rage exploded inside her like dragonfire, and she almost shouted. Her heart thrashed and she forced herself to take slow
breaths between her clenched teeth.
He wants me to fight for Valien! she thought, reeling. He truly thought she'd fight for the man who had murdered her brother? She dug her fingernails into him. He wanted her to fight with Kaelyn, that... that little harlot he lusted for? Tilla ground her teeth, her tears drying under her anger. She had heard tales of Kaelyn Cadigus's beauty. Rune's eyes had always wandered to beauties in Lynport; he would have noticed Kaelyn too. Did he bed her too, kiss her like he kisses me?
Rune grunted and Tilla forced herself to loosen her grip on him. She would not sway him with anger. She knew Rune; whenever confronted with anger, he became stubborn like a mule. She'd have to sway him with calm words, not shouts.
"You can't keep fighting," she said. "Damn it, Rune, look at you. You're still wounded. You're still too thin. I've had enough of fighting." Her eyes watered and her chest shook. "I slew too many. I want to run away from all this. Maybe that is weakness, but I don't care. This whole empire is rotten. I want to run. I never want to kill again. There is enough blood on my hands."
He nodded and whispered, "That is why you must stay."
"To kill more? For more blood and death?"
He shook his head. "For redemption."
She rolled away from him. "I redeemed myself when I slew Shari Cadigus. I redeemed myself when I saved you, the heir of Aeternum."
He placed a hand on her waist. "Yet in Terra Incognita, would I be an heir? You saved Relesar Aeternum. That is who I am; I cannot run from it. Not while Frey still lives and still subjugates our people."
"The Resistance is smashed," Tilla said. "It burned in the fires of Lynport. It is gone."
Rune shook his head. "Not so long as I live. Not so long as Valien and Kaelyn live." He touched her cheek, turning her head back toward him. "Tilla, you saved me from the Red Tower. And now I must do what I can to save my friends. I must keep fighting."
Finally Tilla could not hold back the pain. She let the words slip from her mouth; they tasted like poison. "Fighting with the man who killed my brother."
Rune became quiet. For a few breaths, he said nothing. When he spoke, his voice was low and careful.
"Valien slew many, it's true. Did he himself kill your brother? Maybe. So many died in battle on both sides. War makes victims of us all."
She snorted, trying to feign some strength as her tears fell. "Is that some poetic way of saying I should forget Valien's sins?"
"He himself does not forget his sins. I've seen Valien drink, brood, and howl in the night, lamenting those he killed and those he let die. He bears much blood on his hands. So do we. Our hands will never be cleansed; perhaps there is no true redemption for us, killers in war. I don't believe there is running from this. I don't believe that even distant, unknown lands could purify our souls, could wipe the memories and grief away. So I will stay. I will keep fighting. You cannot run from a demon, only charge him head-on and slay him. Our demon is Frey Cadigus. I will not rest until he's dead. Tilla, fight him with me."
She sat up and regarded him. She ran her fingers along his face, tracing the old familiar features, and she wondered if she even still knew him. Was this truly still Rune her friend? Or was he now fully Relesar, a stranger? He needed to fight, but she needed different things. She needed him far from war. She needed him away from Valien, who led him into blood, and she needed vengeance for her brother. She knew what she must do, and it chilled her.
I must kill Valien.
She nodded. "All right, Rune. I'll help you find the Resistance. We'll find them together."
And then I will slay him, the man who took my brother from me, the man who's taking you away too.
Rune didn't seem to suspect her deeper motives. He pulled her into an embrace.
"Thank you. I promise you—once you meet them, you'll see the Resistance in a different light. We'll fight this together, you and me."
She rose to her feet, leaving the warmth of the blankets. The cold air raised goose bumps across her naked skin, and she grabbed her clothes and began to dress.
No, Rune, she thought. I will not fight with you. We will be together, yes... but not like this. She tugged up her leggings and slipped her tunic over her head. I will kill anyone who comes between us. When your friends are dead, I will be avenged.
She buckled her sword to her waist, but she left her armor behind; it would slow her down in the wilderness, and her days of donning imperial steel were over. They left the gopher hole, carrying what supplies they could, and emerged into the forest.
Dawn fell between the branches and the snow glittered. Icicles hung from birches, oaks, and pines. No dragons flew above, and the scents of the forest filled the air. It was a beautiful morning, but darkness filled Tilla. She walked silently, staring ahead, not speaking to Rune and not squeezing his hand when he held hers.
She gripped the hilt of her sword and took a deep breath.
I will do as I promised, Rune, she thought. I will help you find your friends... and then I will drive this sword into them.
VALIEN
"The boy is a burden." He sneered, facing the tent wall. "He's been a burden since he joined us."
He heard Kaelyn sigh behind him.
"He is an oaf," she said. "He is a whiny brat. Yet he fought with us at Lynport. He slew legionaries. And he did find the Genesis Shards."
Valien spun toward her, enraged, but his snarl died on his lips. He found it impossible to rage against Kaelyn. She stood before him, looking up with those large eyes, and his anger melted. He too sighed, a creaky sound.
"You have sad kitten eyes," he said. "You always get what you want with those eyes, don't you?"
"I don't want any of this," she said. "I don't want Leresy here, but... what can we do? I can't just banish him now. He's my twin. And he means well."
Valien snorted. "He still hopes to seize the throne for himself."
"Leresy doesn't know what he wants. He only knows that he hates our father. He has no cunning, no wit, only hatred. He's foolish and rash, but I know him. I can control him."
Valien grumbled. "One more mistake or outburst from him, and I banish him. Simple as that, sad kitten eyes or not."
She touched his cheek. "Do not weary your mind with him. We have greater things to worry about."
"And I worry about them all. Tomorrow we will fly again, and we will not rest for days, not until we reach the capital. It all ends now. This is our last battle, for victory or for death. Perhaps worrying about Leresy is easier than thinking about the battle ahead."
"Think of neither tonight," Kaelyn said. "My brother is in his tent, Erry is soothing him, and the fight continues tomorrow. Tonight let me soothe you."
She unclasped her cloak and let it fall. With a single movement, she pulled her tunic over her head. She stood nude before him, her body slim and pale, and gave him that look of hers, her kitten eyes. She pressed herself against him, stood on tiptoes, and kissed his lips.
"Think only of me tonight," she whispered. "Let me love you. This is what you need. This is what I need."
She tried to kiss him again, but he turned his head away. She held him, but he took a step back.
"I can no longer do this," he said. "The last time was a mistake."
He saw the hurt in her eyes; this time it was real hurt, deep and cutting.
"Why?" she whispered.
"Because we are warriors. Because we cannot love. Love weakens us."
She laughed mirthlessly. "Must warriors feel only bloodlust? That is my father speaking, not you."
He looked away from her. He stared at his cot, remembering a night long ago when he had found her, Marilion, in his old bed in the capital.
"For years I refused to love you, Kaelyn," he said in a rasp. "Do not make me love you now."
She came to stand beside him. She held his arm.
"Is it because of her?" Her voice was soft; there was no jealousy there, only compassion and understanding.
"The gods, fate, or chance have been cruel," he said. "You look like her. For years, I refused to love you, for you were as a ghost. But now I don't see you as an echo. Kaelyn, you have flown by my side through fire, blood, and rain. You have been my torch in these cold, dark years. I love you, Kaelyn Cadigus, for the woman you are. And that is one emotion we cannot feel. If one of us should fall, the other must keep fighting, heart whole, fire bright. I cannot bear the fear of losing another love."
Tears filled her eyes. "And I love you, Valien Eleison. I came to you as a muddy, bruised youth, a frightened girl fleeing her father's rod. For a long time, you were as a father to me, wiser and nobler than my true father ever was. But I now love you not as a daughter, but as a woman. And I cannot quell that feeling. I will not. And I will not believe it weakens me. Tomorrow we might fall, so let us love today all the brighter." She began to undo the lacing on his tunic. "Save your troubles for tomorrow. Tonight you are mine."
He closed his eyes. He let her undress him, and their naked bodies pressed together, hers slim and soft, his scarred and rough. The candles flickered around them and he loved her. And he forgot about all else.
LERESY
He slunk through the camp, clad in cloak and hood, the clouds hiding the moon above. The booze still coursed through his blood, but he walked silently, the yellow grass muffling his boots. Inside the shadows of his hood, he grinned, licked his lips, and hissed.
"Backhand me, will you?" he whispered, still feeling the sting on his cheek; it had left an ugly bruise. "You do not strike the prince of Requiem and live, old man."
His hiss rose into a chuckle. He reached into his cloak and gripped his dagger. The cold hilt felt heavenly. Thrusting this blade into Valien would feel better than thrusting into a woman.
A Memory of Fire (The Dragon War, Book 3) Page 14
