by Jeannie Moon
“So, we’re good?” he asked.
Caroline chuckled and nodded. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.”
The street was crowded, which was not unusual for this time of day. People were out and about doing what Caroline would normally be doing—grabbing something at a nearby deli to eat at her desk. It was a bad habit, and she was glad Josh had come by and gotten her out of the office.
He draped his arm around her shoulder. It was casual, friendly—and he did it without hesitation. The familiarity, the closeness, were part of them now. He’d touched her in places no one else had and it had changed things. “I was such a horse’s ass over the weekend.”
“It’s over,” she said. “Just forget it.”
“I’ve been thinking about your suggestion.”
“What suggestion?’
“The friends-with-benefits thing.”
“Oh.” Caroline died a little inside. “That.”
“It’s probably not a good idea,” he said. “I mean, we both know that.”
Why was he doing this? He didn’t have to bring it up. It’s not like she was going to mention it. Good grief, if it was never brought up again, she’d be thankful. “I understand,” she said. “It was a bad idea. I’m embarrassed I said it.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. I like hanging out with you,” he said. “And it was good in bed. Very good.”
Whoa. What? Were angels singing? She thought she heard angels. He liked being with her in bed? She could hold on to that. Like forever.
“Yes, it was.” There was no way in hell she could tell him what she really thought. No way she could let him know how much he affected her. How she hadn’t been able to think about anything else. “But I don’t know what you’re driving at.”
“I like you and I guess I thought we could leave the possibility open. See what happens.”
It seemed that every nerve ending fired up at the thought of being with him again. Stay cool, Caroline. Control yourself. “Leave it open? What changed your mind?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure, exactly. I felt shitty when you left the other day. Like I’d let you down. You deserved better from me. Even if it is just friends with benefits, you deserve better.”
Caroline was stunned and she knew she should say something, but she couldn’t.
“I mean,” he said, “if that’s what you still want.” They stopped outside a restaurant known for great burgers and faced each other.
“I’d like to be friends,” she said. His response was immediate. As soon as she answered, Josh’s face broke into a huge grin and Caroline almost collapsed at the sight of how handsome it made him look. “I’ll advise you on the project if you need me.” Her heart squeezed a bit, and she remembered how ridiculous her original proposition was. “Obviously, sleeping together doesn’t have to be attached to that.” Giving him an escape hatch was a good idea. This would hurt less if she lowered her expectations. But was he saying they could also have something more? It was nice to have a new friend, of course, especially since she didn’t know when this new relationship with her sister might head south, but still.
“Keeping the work and play separate is a generally a good idea. So let’s just see where this goes, okay?”
“I hope I’m not too boring for you,” she added.
He laughed, full and deep, and then leaned in to kiss her. It was soft, sexy, and she melted. His kisses were perfect. Just perfect. “Sweetie, not a chance of that happening. You are a lot of things, but boring isn’t one of them. I don’t think you’d know how to be.”
“Oh, okay.” How could he think that? How could someone like Josh, who was used to beautiful, refined women, think that about her? If she broke into a happy dance, would he be scared off?
“Don’t look so surprised.” He shook his head. “We really need to work on that confidence issue of yours.”
***
Caroline was still wrapping her head around the Josh she was getting to know as opposed to the Josh she’d had in her head all these years. On one hand he talked about possibilities and keeping their options open, and on the other, he still treated her like she was just a friend. The situation was making her head spin and her initial excitement was waning because his old life kept intruding on their lunch.
She picked at her french fries, distracted by her daydreams. A necessity, since Josh was holding court. The meal had been interrupted by his fan club. Their table was visited by women who had everything going for them. Looks, brains, and beauty, and not one of them even acknowledged Caroline’s existence. Josh barely had the opportunity to introduce her because she was boxed out. The conversations ranged from mutual acquaintances to events they’d gone to, or restaurants or clubs that were new and hot. For a moment, Caroline felt like the geek she was, wondered where she stood—but then forced herself to remember that he’d come for her. She didn’t chase after him; he came for her.
Caroline nibbled at her burger and tried not to stare at the latest gorgeous portfolio manager who’d stopped by. Lunch wouldn’t last forever. Next time she wanted to have a meal without the disruptions; they’d have to stay in or go to cheap dives because lunch with Josh was like hanging out with a rock star. When the latest woman left, Caroline leaned back in the chair and examined Josh, who took a healthy bite of his, at best, lukewarm burger. Then he caught her eyes and smiled, and Caroline was his all over again. Her heart hammered and her girly parts sang and she realized that he couldn’t help it. And all the women? It was no wonder the women hovered; the man was prime breeding stock. He would make beautiful babies.
You could have his babies, her ovaries screamed. No questions asked.
Josh took a sip of iced tea and then ran his finger up and down the glass, leaving a track in the condensation. All she could think about was his wet finger. She had vivid memories of those talented fingers. “You’re angry,” he said.
“Not angry.” I’m trying to figure out how to have your children, dammit. Oh, God. She had to stop. “I just feel kind of insignificant with all your friends stopping by the table.” Shut up, Caroline. “I think if we go out to eat again, we should hit McDonald’s.”
One side of his mouth turned up and he folded his arms, mimicking her posture. “You’re jealous.”
Caroline felt her lips pucker and she started paying attention to her own lunch. “Maybe a little.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice had softened. “I’ll try to be more aware.”
“I’m not being terribly sophisticated, am I?”
“Sophis... what the... you’re human.”
“But—”
He reached across the small table and put a finger on her lips. “Stop.” She started to say something and he shook his head. “Man, you are stubborn.”
Their eyes met and something passed between them. A feeling, an awareness of something that could be. Normally, Caroline would think it was her overactive imagination, but she could see the change on his face. Josh knew it too. This thing of theirs had the potential to be something. Unfortunately, it appeared, neither of them had the nerve to go after it.
“Sorry...”
“Shit.” That’s when he leaned in and kissed her. It wasn’t deep or dirty, but it was so sweet Caroline was glad she was sitting, because if she wasn’t she would collapse right into him. She felt his fingers lightly brush her face. Her eyes drifted shut and she felt everything spin a little. When she opened her eyes, his face was just inches from hers, his fingers still rested on her cheek and his eyes were on hers. “Better?”
“Uh-huh,” she answered. “You shouldn’t do that, though. I thought we were starting slowly, as friends.”
“Oh, right. I guess I shouldn’t have, but it was nice.”
“It was,” she whispered. He was still staring at her. His fingers now covering hers.
“Good.” He leaned back just a bit, and it took
a second for Caroline to recover her wits. She was in so far over her head it wasn’t funny. He was going to own her heart and soul in a matter of days. He grinned and she almost went unconscious. Make that hours. She’d be his in a matter of hours.
“Here’s the thing,” he said. “That whole ‘sophisticated’ crap—what was that?”
“I just... I...”
“If we’re out together, you have a right to expect my attention. That I be considerate.”
She nodded. “I’m working on the whole confidence thing. I don’t have a lot of practice.”
“I’m getting that. Why don’t you think you have a right to be treated with respect? I mean, the way you went back at your sister the other day was long overdue. Meg is a good woman, but she walks on you a little. She always has.”
“I got so fed up with her telling me what to do. You should have heard the way she talked about you. God, you’d think you’d molested me when we had dinner.”
They both stopped and Caroline reacted first. “Okay, that wasn’t a great way to put it.”
“Probably not, but I get your meaning.”
“I’m an adult and I have a right to see who I want when I want. But she did surprise me.”
“How’s that?”
“She apologized. Said you had my back... Then she told me she thought you liked me.”
Josh leaned in. “Did she now?”
“She did. She also wanted to know if anything happened between us.”
“Did you tell her?”
“No. It’s not her business. But we’re having dinner tomorrow night.”
“Uh-oh.”
“I’m a terrible liar. So I may just have to shock the hell out of her and tell her everything.”
He laughed. “If you do, let me know. I’ll break out the body armor.” Josh took a sip of his iced tea and leveled a very serious gaze at her. “So what about the books?”
Her eyes fell away and she wondered what he was asking. Did he want to know what she was doing? What her goals were? About her writing?
“I love writing. It’s everything to me, and every day I have to go to work kills me a little inside. I should have fought harder for what I wanted.”
“So start now.”
“I’m working on it, but I’ve been pigeonholed a long time; it’s going to take me a bit.”
“Start with one thing.” He picked up a fry and popped it in his mouth, and Caroline started to see how Josh worked a problem. He did things one step at a time, dealing with things in pieces.
“Like what?” she asked even though she knew what he was going to say.
“You have to come out of the closet about your work. Start doing something to get your name out there.”
That coming out of the closet thing was the tough part. “I know. There’s this contest I want to enter. I keep revising and procrastinating.”
“What’s holding you back?”
That was the big question. Why? She wanted to write for people. She was desperate for her books to be published. But when she had the opportunity to get her work out there, she usually self-sabotaged and missed her window. It was that same confidence issue. Hands down, that’s what it was.
“I don’t know what my problem is. Other than the fact that if I don’t submit, I won’t fail.” She’d never failed anything before. Playing it safe made that easy.
“You also won’t get published.”
“I could be writing books that everyone will hate.”
He took a deep breath when she said that, and it was only after it was out of her mouth that she realized how it sounded. Pathetic. “You’re killing me here,” he said.
“I know. It’s hard for me, though.” Caroline slumped back in her chair. “I told you. Being friends with me might not be a good thing. I’m a little crazy.”
“Well, at least the crazy shows. It’s hidden crazy that’s a problem.” He took out his phone and started punching buttons. “I’m going to send you a text every day to keep you honest. When do you have to enter?”
The million-dollar question. Now she had to answer it honestly. “Today would be good. Tomorrow at the latest.”
He laughed. “Guess what you’re doing when you get home?”
She hesitated. The thought was terrifying, but he was right. If she didn’t take a chance, make a move, she’d be stuck in this rut forever. Josh was a strong, successful executive. He knew how to get things done. He worked hard and didn’t take no for an answer, and she needed to adopt some of his attitude. “Okay,” she whispered. “You win.”
Josh shook his head. “Nope. But you might.”
***
Josh wanted to touch her the whole way back to her office. And he knew he shouldn’t.
He also shouldn’t have kissed her at lunch either, because stopping was so damn hard. She tasted good, sweet, and she still had that amazing smell. Sweet and spicy. The woman was a mass of contradictions, and Josh had no idea why he suggested they try to be friends except that for the past few days he’d hated not seeing her. Completely hated it.
So, for him, this was a compromise. His inner alarm bells were screaming, telling him he should run like hell, but he couldn’t deny the attraction he felt. Something inside told him he needed her. Josh wasn’t necessarily looking for engineering advice, but for more validation that what his father was doing was wrong. Caroline understood him and what he needed, and for the first time since he became a partner, Josh knew he could fight against his father’s latest scheme, and possibly win.
It was that intuitiveness, the quiet support she offered without question that drew him in. Thinking about the Rossis, Josh had a feeling they hesitated around her because they didn’t know what to make of the youngest daughter. She’d taken a left turn and surprised the hell out of them. She’d always been accepting, predictable, and now she’d thrown it all out the window. He was glad Meg reached out, but Caroline still had to be prepared to stand her ground.
This was the tricky part. While he knew he couldn’t change years of family dynamics, Josh decided to focus on helping Caroline be happy with who she was.
He hated that she felt isolated from her family because the feeling was something Josh could relate to. The circumstances were different, but he’d always been the outsider with his siblings. And now he’d never have the chance to grow close to his sister. Caroline’s writing, her career, her relationships were all things she should be sharing with those who shared her blood, but the wariness that currently existed made that all but impossible. He didn’t feel sorry for her, because she needed no one’s pity, but if anyone deserved love and support, it was Caroline, and she wasn’t getting it. In the end, though, family or not, Caroline had to make choices about her own life and stop shooting herself in the foot. He had no doubt she could do anything she put her mind to, but the confidence thing had crippled her, and Josh wanted nothing more than to fix it. To let her know how amazing she was.
For the life of him, he couldn’t understand his own reaction. Maybe he shouldn’t try. For once he decided not to think so much and just go with what felt right.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and tried to redirect his physical reaction to her. Work. Focusing on work was always a good plan. He was going to have a preliminary meeting with her boss when they got back to her office, come hell or high water, and her take on it would help him.
“So, how do I deal with Strickland?”
Caroline’s shoulders twitched and he went on alert. His whole body reacted. Her situation at the office might have been worse than he thought. “Mark’s a bully. However, since you’re better looking, bigger, stronger, and richer, you shouldn’t have any issue with him.”
“I’m better looking?”
She smiled and slapped his arm playfully. “You know you are.” She shook her head. “He’s a phony. He’s going to fl
atter you to your face, but he’ll try to manipulate you. Making you wait is a favorite tactic of his.”
“I see.” He took out his cell and found the number in his contacts. “What’s the receptionist’s name?”
“Fern.”
“Really? Fern? Interesting.” Josh put the phone to his ear and when Pinchface picked up, he started playing his own game. “Fern, this is Josh Campbell. Please tell Mr. Stickland that I’m walking Miss Rossi back to the office and I’ll expect he’ll be ready to see me when we arrive there in, oh, about five minutes.”
“He may have another appointment,” she responded.
“Then tell him to cancel it. We’ll be there soon.”
He ended the call and glanced at Caroline, who was smiling. “He’s going to hate you,” she said.
“He doesn’t have to like me.” He wanted to explain it to her, but didn’t know how to couch it. The business end of it was straightforward. It was the personal side that was complicated. How did he tell her he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head all week? That he felt guilty as hell and he never felt guilty where women were concerned? “I only need him to do two things. First, he has to get this project right. Second, I need him to leave you alone.”
“You don’t have to fight my battles for me, Josh.”
“You really are a piece of work. What’s wrong with a little help from a friend?”
“It’s called being independent. You think I’m being difficult, but I’m not going to have you watching my back for the rest of my life.”
Josh almost answered with a simple “Why not?” but he put the brakes on that before it slipped over his tongue. Holy hell.
Tamping down his reaction, Josh refocused. If he had to, he could hire another consultant, but Caroline was another matter altogether. He’d done some digging and found out that Mark was a first-class prick who had a history of harassing women. He was a fucking brilliant administrator, which was the only reason he was still employed anywhere. But if he kept after Caroline, there would be a whole world of hurt raining down on Mr. Strickland.
Josh hadn’t realized how much she’d gotten under his skin until that moment. This wasn’t going to be easy, and he was almost regretting his friendship proposal. It was going to be torture. But she needed him.
