I opened them and gazed into his. “When I look at you I see a man that I wish I could have more with.” My bottom lip began to tremble as I confessed. “I didn’t want to come back because I know I won’t be able to stop myself from wanting you. I’m trying to be strong and do the right thing, but then you kiss me like that and all I want is for you to take me home with you and make love to me over and over again.”
He let out a chuckle and leaned in to kiss me again. With his mouth touching mine he spoke. “Do you want to take my car or yours?”
I was shocked. I’d spent two hours in a hotel room with a stranger, hours before. Sure, I didn’t have sex, but it was still foreplay. Now Eli wanted to take me home with him for an afternoon delight. As much as I knew I shouldn’t, I couldn’t say no without hating myself. Maybe if we made love one time I’d be able to get him out of my system and move forward. “You know I can’t. I have to get the kids off the bus soon.”
“Tomorrow? Meet me tomorrow at my house? I’ll text you the street address.”
I put my head on the steering wheel as I spoke. “Eli, just get in the van.”
We took some short cut to his house and he had me pull into his garage. Once inside of his house I looked around. It was a large two-story, and the kitchen was to die for but looked as if it had never been used. A dog came out of nowhere but never barked. The short and stubby English bulldog came over and welcomed her owner. Eli bent down to greet her. “Hey sweet girl. Daddy’s home.”
“What’s her name?”
“Delilah.”
“You’re kidding? My dog is named Samson.”
We both got a good laugh out of it, before Eli got his serious look on his face. He cleared his throat. “Come here, Lily.”
I stepped forward breaking the distance between us. He ran his hands over my cheeks and then my lips. I closed my eyes and felt our mouths touching. His tongue began to mingle with mine. He pulled away with this puzzled look on his face. “This isn’t right. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
“I drove.”
“Lily, I want you, but not like this. Just go home and do what you have to do. I’ll call you tomorrow when you have a fresh head.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
He leaned down and kissed me softly. “No. This time it’s all me. I told you before that I didn’t want to be a regret.”
“But I want this.”
“Yeah, but I’m willing to wait for it.”
It took me a while to accept that he wanted me to leave. I’d promised to pick him up in the morning so that he could get back to his car at the office, albeit I knew that being alone with him made me want things that I couldn’t ever have.
My life was in shambles, and in order to put it back together I was going to have to keep my priorities straight. Eli was an unfortunate bump in the road that I couldn’t afford to get involved with, no matter how much I wished I could.
Chapter 7
That night after taking the kids where they all needed to be, and feeding them dinner, I headed upstairs to soak in the tub and think about my situation. Honestly, I just wanted some alone time to take in the day that I’d had. Aside from Eli I’d gotten involved with my first client, who happened to be my boss’s son. On top of that, he had some sick obsession to protect me, and I didn’t understand why.
Charlie came in the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. When he knew that I’d seen him but wouldn’t say anything he spoke up. “We need to talk, Lil.”
I put the rag over my face. “I have nothing to say to you, Charlie.”
“How long are we going to go like this? Don’t you think we should call a therapist or something?”
I took the rag and put it in the water, then turned my attention to him. I looked him right in the eyes as I spoke. “As far as I’m concerned right now I don’t like you. It’s going to take me a long time to be able to look at you without seeing what you’ve done. If I were you, I’d keep your mouth shut and your dick in your pants.” I put the rag over my face. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m trying to relax from a shitty day.”
He got up and left without saying anything, and by the time I climbed into bed, he was rolled over and appeared to be asleep. I found it hard to fall asleep with so much on my mind. I’d created a clusterfuck of situations and if I didn’t gain some kind of control I was going to surely lose my mind.
It was almost morning when I finally closed my eyes. A little later I woke to the kids getting ready for school. Charlie was up and already dressed. He came over to my side of the bed. “I’ll take them to the bus stop on my way in.”
I started to get up. “You don’t have to.”
“It’s fine.”
As soon as he left the room I fell back asleep.
My cell phone woke me up and when I saw what time it was I knew it was the diner calling. My first decision of the day was to tell them that I wouldn’t be coming back in. I felt terrible, but my mind was made up. I was going to see my client once a week, for both the money and sexual pleasure. I’d be lying if I didn’t want both. Even in the awkward first encounter, I’d found myself drawn to Frankie. It amazed me, but clearly I didn’t need to know someone to enjoy myself.
Didn’t I deserve some kind of release?
As soon as I ended the call my phone rang again. This time it was Eli.
“I overslept.”
“Were you dreaming about me?”
“You’re funny. Actually I didn’t sleep last night.”
“Yeah, me either. We need to talk about us, Lily. I know you say you don’t want to, but I feel like there are things you need to know.”
I couldn’t listen to him tell me why I should see him. Even if I had the time to do it, he’d never sleep with a hooker. He was a man of the law, and that would go against everything he stood for. Besides, I could see the headline if I was ever caught, and known as his girlfriend. He’d lose his clients over it.
“I can’t talk today. I’ve got something to do.”
“I guess you can’t tell me what it is?”
“I’m going to look at houses to rent.” I really hadn’t made any plans, but one internet search could give me some ideas.
“Do you want company?”
“You have court at one, remember?” I was around him so much that I knew his schedule.
“We could go this morning. You know I don’t see clients on court days.”
“Eli…”
“Can’t I be your friend?”
I closed my eyes and thought about not having him around. He was right about being my friend. I couldn’t tell anyone how I felt about Charlie, but for the past two months I’d been able to tell him everything. He knew how my heart had been ripped out. He’d been the one person to make me smile when I was down in the dumps. He’d even been my shoulder to cry on. I owed him at least a friendship, if nothing else. “Yes.”
“Good. Come pick me up.”
“I need to get dressed.”
“Friends can pick each other up naked,” he teased.
“Funny. I’m getting a shower. I’ll pick you up in an hour.”
“Ok. See you soon.”
I jumped in the shower and hurried up getting washed. After dressing, I dried my hair halfway and grabbed my purse, running out the door after only fifteen minutes. When I arrived in front of Eli’s house I saw him standing out front on his phone while his dog went to the bathroom. He waved and called the dog to go back inside of the house before walking in my direction.
By the time he climbed in the vehicle he’d already hung up the phone and given me his attention. “Good morning.”
Our eyes met and that spark was there again. Before I could protest he kissed me. It felt so nice being with him, so natural, which I didn’t think I’d ever find again. Charlie and I had been together for so long that I just assumed a relationship like that wouldn’t happen for me. Yet, I knew so much about Eli that being around him was comfortable. “I need to tell you somethi
ng.”
“Is it what you couldn’t tell me yesterday?”
I was going to regret this, but if I wanted to be his real friend, he needed to know the truth about me. “Yes.”
I tried to find the right words to explain it without making myself look bad, but I couldn’t. No matter how I spun my story he wasn’t going to understand. “I found a way to make a lot of money without having to work every day.”
“Let me guess. Are you a stripper?” He was joking around, and I knew he wasn’t going to be joking when he heard the truth.
“No.”
“Are you selling your eggs to a bank?”
“No.”
“I know, you’re a hooker,” he said and started laughing.
“We’re called escorts, not hookers.”
Eli stopped laughing. His face was something that I’d never seen before. I watched as he fought with his own emotions as how to answer me. “Is this some kind of joke?”
I shook my head and began to tear up. “I know you can’t understand. You have to know that if there was some other way I’d take it. It’s not what you think. I don’t have to sleep with my client, well not all of the time. It’s hard to explain.”
“You’re pulling my leg, right?”
I shook my head again, this time unable to respond verbally.
“Lily, you can’t do this.”
“It’s already done. It was my decision to make.”
Eli turned and looked out the window. He refused to look my way and it hurt me. I felt like me telling him had ruined even the friendship between us. I’d been right to assume that he’d want nothing to do with me. I could tell from the look on his face that he was utterly disgusted. “We better get going if you want to see multiple listings.”
I started driving, waiting for him to talk to me, but he wouldn’t. After driving to the next community, I pulled over and looked at my phone. I’d already seen a couple places for rent a week before after searching on the internet to get an idea of how much money I’d need a month. The first house I came to was a two-story. It had a one car garage and a nice size back yard that was fenced in. After calling the number on the listing, the landlord told me the combination to enter the house. Eli followed behind, still not talking to me.
I walked inside and headed upstairs first, noting that it had three decent sized bedrooms that shared one common bathroom.
The first floor had one bedroom that was small, but would work fine for me. The kitchen and living room were all together. They too weren’t very large, but it was cute. There was a dining room, but I’d most likely use it as a second television room for the kids. Eli followed me out back, and as I looked around he finally spoke. “This is a nice place.”
“It has plenty of room for the four of us. I think the kids could get used to living here. We’d be in the same school district, and their father could come get them whenever he wanted.”
“You’d be closer to my house,” he added.
“You still want to be friends?” I was kind of shocked.
“Do you judge me for being a lawyer? Do you look at me and see an asshole that takes people’s life savings and gives it to greedy spouses?”
“Of course not.”
“I hate what you’re doing, Lily. I’m not going to lie, but I know it’s not you. It’s a job, and if you’re okay with it, I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“I’m not a whore, Eli. It’s one client.”
Eli pulled me into his arms. He didn’t try to kiss me, or touch me the way he had before. This hug was a friend hug. A part of me hated it, because I could feel him withdrawing himself from me. “I’m not taking that money, Lily.”
“I understand.”
“And I can’t talk you out of it?”
“Probably not.”
He got quiet again as we walked out of the house, and traveled to the next property. The second house was a little bit bigger, but also a hundred extra dollars a month. Eli checked everything out on the exterior of the house while I walked around inside doing the same. I watched him through the window, and hated myself for being honest with him. He’d never look at me the same way again.
On the way back to the office he reached over and put his hand on my leg. “I’m not going to lie. It hurts me that some stranger gets to fuck you, but I can’t make love with you.”
“It hurts me too, Eli. I’m not doing this to hurt you. I’m doing it for my kids.”
I arrived at the office and parked next to Eli’s car. For the next half hour we argued about my choices, and how I was making a huge mistake that I’d regret forever. Eli offered to give me ten grand to get me into a place of my own, and start over without having to sell my body. When I declined he got out of the van and walked inside of his office, without even saying goodbye.
I suppose it was for the best, watching him walk out of my life. I wasn’t the woman he thought I was. That part of me that he was interested in had to go away. I needed to be strong and independent if I wanted to be able to survive on my own. At least my kids were older and pretty much self-sufficient. If my plan didn’t work out I could work two jobs to keep us afloat.
For the next six days I moped around my house. Charlie left me alone, but only because he was going on another business trip, so he called it. I decided that since I hadn’t heard a word from Eli I’d have to get some backup proof of Charlie’s affair with Kate on my own. I avoided thinking about my weekly visit with Frankie, and focused all of my energy on Charlie and the marriage that was about to come to an end.
On the day of the second meet with Frankie I rushed around the house acting like a crazy person. The kids must have thought I’d lost my mind, and it was a good thing that Charlie had gotten up and left early.
By the time I’d reached the hotel and gotten into the room I was so sweaty that I literally needed a second shower. With little time to spare I jumped in and hoped that Frankie was running late. When I was just about done conditioning my hair I heard someone clear their throat. Through the fogged up glass I could see the figure of a man standing in the doorway that led to the bedroom. He left as soon as I’d turned and I didn’t know whether to feel violated or upset that I wasn’t prepared how I should have been. Then I remembered that the rules of Cybil were off since my client was her son.
I took my time climbing out and walked into the dark room. From the light in the bathroom I caught a glimpse of the back of him. He was slender, which I could tell from our last encounter, but his shoulders were wide. Before I could take in any more of him, I heard that stupid computer talking. “Turn off the light, Lily.”
“Why should I follow any of your rules, Frankie? Haven’t we broken all of them already?”
“Do you want to get paid or not?”
He was so dry, and I don’t know why I expected him to be kind. I was a whore and he knew it. He’d lived a life knowing what his mother did, and according to what I was told, he hated it.
I turned off the light and stood there waiting for what he wanted next.
Instead of ordering me to apply the mask, or to stay naked he started asking me questions.
I could hear him typing. “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”
He was all the way across the king size bed facing the other way, so I sat down on the side facing the bathroom wall. “I can’t think that far ahead. Right now I have to live for the now.”
“Because of your husband?”
“It irritates me that you know about my personal life.”
“Think of me as a listener, or a friend.”
I laughed out loud. “I’d hardly call someone I never saw before a friend.”
“People are friends online for years without meeting.”
He had a point. “True, but you know this is different.”
“I’m still waiting for an answer.”
“Why can’t I hear your voice?” If he wanted me to tell him things I was going to need to know I could trust him. How did I know that he wasn’t
one of my husband’s friends that were in cahoots to ruin my life.
“You will in time. I promise. Right now you can’t answer a question with a question. Can you not see a future because of what’s going on with your husband?”
I closed my eyes and felt tears forming. This unconventional whoring job wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. I think I’d rather have a client that only wanted to fuck me for two hours. At least then I wouldn’t have to talk. “Yes. Are you happy now? I can’t see my future because all I care about is providing a life for my kids. Do you really think I’d sell my body for money because it seemed like a great idea? I’ve put my life, my friendships, and all of my self-worth on the line for my kids. I’m doing this because they mean everything to me. I’d give my life to make sure they were taken care of.” I was really crying. I covered my face with my hands and couldn’t stop.
I felt the mattress move, and then a presence in front of me. Arms wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me into his chest. I didn’t hug the man back, but instead wept against the fabric of his shirt. “Shh.”
I couldn’t stop. Every person I’d ever met would stop talking to me if they knew what I was doing. I’d have nothing, including custody of my children. This was a terrible decision brought on by feeling helpless.
My mind went to Eli, and the possibility of never speaking to him again. I think that’s when it really hit me how much he meant to me in such a short time. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t how you saw your morning going.”
Frankie let go of me and walked over to where he’d left his computer. I heard him typing and felt annoyed again that he wouldn’t speak to me. “I have one sibling and we’re not very close. I learned what my mom did for a living when I was thirteen. One of her girls had gotten into some trouble and we went to the hospital after one of my sport’s games. She told me to stay in the car, but I followed her. You can imagine a horny teenager seeing someone half-naked all beaten up. I peeked in the doorway and watched my mother comforting the girl, then calling the client and giving him shit. After that I rode my bike to where the laundry mat was that she ran back then. The workers never noticed me walking in, or that I’d snuck to the back room. That’s when I saw her performing with a client. I’ll never get the image out of my head. Even to this day it makes me cringe.” I could hear him still typing and I wiped away my tears to listen to his story. “My mother was a good parent, in the sense that she’d do anything for us, but I could never agree with her choices. No matter how much money we had, what gifts she bought me, or even when she finally married and started hiring girls to do the job, I couldn’t get past what she did. I never told her I knew. When I graduated high school I left for college, and promised myself that I’d never take a cent from her again. She sat me down after my schooling was over and tried to make me understand, I just couldn’t. I’ve spent the past ten years or so building a name for myself that people can respect. I’m not associated with my mother’s business or her employees, except for you.”
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