by Sarah Tork
“Umm, yes.” He mimicked my flustered voice as I threw the cup in the trash. “It’s okay, fireball. If it makes you feel any better, I’m okay with ‘tiger’. You can call me that anytime you want.” He sat on the edge of the table and smiled wryly at me.
Great, could I have boosted his ego anymore?
“Can you please act serious? I’m not going to call you tiger.” I put my foot down, catching myself before I did a childish stomp.
He pushed himself off the table and towered over me, invading my personal space. I bit back my bitchy comments about personal space, instead tilting my head back to look up at him. I could play too, with the best of them, and I’d crush them all. So who the hell did he think he was, trying to intimidate me with his height?
“Well if you aren’t going to call me tiger, what are you gonna call me?” He leaned in closer and I instinctively leaned back.
Putting my hands on my hips, I replied coolly, “I’m going to call you by your name.”
“Yeah, well go ahead. What’s my name?”
I opened my mouth but quickly shut it when I realized I’d never asked him his name.
We’ve been going on like this and I didn’t even get his name…
“Well, you don’t know my name either. Hypocrite much?” I jerked my chin to him.
He straightened back up and played with the collar of his shirt. He didn’t say anything. It was obvious now that this boy was a child. And since one of us had to be the professional adult, I decided to break first and ask.
“Fine, what’s your name?”
“Tiger!” he declared and began to laugh.
I leaned forward and shoved his left shoulder with my arm. He yelped, laughing even harder. “Hey, abuse, abuse!”
“You’re an asshole!” I branded him.
He took a brief moment to calm himself down. “Okay, relax. Ask me again.”
“What. Is. Your. Name.” I slowly enunciated each word, hoping to make him feel stupid.
He looked down at me with an amused expression, as if I were the stupid one who dared to even play that game with someone of his caliber of smart ass-ness.
He let out a deep sigh and looked everywhere but at me. “Oh fireball, what am I going to do with you?”
When he finally turned his eyes back to me, his expression had changed – it was different, weirder, which made me feel funny. Nevertheless, I was not someone who was going to bow down to his obvious cuteness.
“For the last time: what is your name?” I asked, feeling suddenly tired.
“I told you, it’s Ti–”
“You two!” a voice interrupted loudly.
We spun around to find Shelby standing in front of the cash register with her hands on the counter, giving us glares of destruction.
“Annabelle. You’re supposed to be training James. I don’t see any training going on. I see wasting the only time you’ll probably have available today to train him!” she yelled at us, well, me.
Bitch!
“I’m sorry. I already showed him how make the lemonade.”
I felt James move close beside me.
“Oh, so he knows how to make them precisely and efficiently?” Shelby asked with slight hesitation, a strange look in her eyes.
She thinks I’m full of shit!
I glanced up at James. His eyes never left Shelby’s. I looked back to Shelby. “Yes.” I did a silent a prayer that he’d paid attention.
“Wonderful. Show me, please,” she ordered, indicating the juicer with her chin.
A frozen chill rode a slow elevator from the soles of my feet to the tip of my head. My ears seemed to be the only sense my body could account for. Behind me, I heard shuffling feet and the roar of the juicer.
After a few seconds of listening to the juicer hard at work, I snapped out of my little ‘oh shit’ haze and glanced at Shelby, who now reminded me of skinny blond troll. It might have been the bulged out nose that seemed to be inhaling everything earthly, including my soul, or maybe it was the giant forehead that had an invisible logo flashing on and off just for me. ‘Bitch in big bright colors’ the sign exclaimed.
I heard James come forward, bringing with him a perfectly made lemonade, complete with the mint garnish.
Thank God!
It wasn’t just Shelby that I was seeing differently; a hero had just saved my ass and was standing right next to me under the scrutinizing glare of a pissed off, evil troll.
“All finished,” James announced, pushing the cup toward Shelby.
Shelby grunted back a laugh and said, “I’ll be the one to affirm that.”
She picked up the drink and inspected it from every angle imaginable. Then she took a sip and, instead of swallowing (which I felt sure was a lifelong policy for her), she swished the liquid around her mouth as if she were at a wine tasting.
This is ridiculous!
She eventually swallowed and returned her attention to us. “Not bad. Keep it up, sport. You’ll have it in no time,” she said with a smile and, like the bipolar freak she was, picked up her clipboard and moved on like nothing had happened.
“‘Sport?’” James repeated, amused.
I shook my head and gave a ‘what the fuck’ grin, watching Shelby trot away like a horse after taking a nice, long shit.
James sat on the counter behind us. I leaned against it, beside him.
“Yeah, that’s Shelby. She’s a supervisor. I don’t know how.” I didn’t understand it and I had a feeling he was thinking that too. “The good thing though, she won’t be back ’til before we have our lunch break.”
“Thank God!” he exclaimed in a relieved sigh.
I laughed at his delivery and glanced up at him.
I stopped laughing.
He was staring down at me with a serious look on his face. I gazed at his beautiful green eyes and he smiled sweetly for the first time. I felt a slow burn around my heart and, without realizing it, my eyes lowered to his lips. James began to lean down towards me. I didn’t move a muscle; I didn’t know if it was because I was frozen or because I wanted what was about to happen.
Hold on! What the hell! Move out of the way girl! You’re not easy!
My mind kicked in and I jerked away from his effort to kiss me.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked, shocked.
My eyes were wide, my palms were sweaty, and my knees were jelly. I was experiencing the whole shebang. I breathed heavily and my vision became foggy, and the man hadn’t even gotten his lips on me.
James furrowed his brows; he sweet smile was gone.
“Fireball, you shouldn’t have moved. Could have made this work thing more fun.” He sounded frustrated.
I didn’t know what to say. I’d never been the object of a male’s fascination, so I decided to do what girls do best: pretend it didn’t happen.
“Let’s just work, okay?” I whispered, still bewildered.
He nodded.
For the next hour and a half, James and I circled around each other as we took turns making lemonade and handling the cash register. There was no need to repeat the instructions for the club’s lemonade making process; James got it the first time and made them perfectly. We barely spoke to one another. When Shelby came by and told me I was first on lunch, I didn’t say ‘see you later’ to James, I just rushed to change room to eat.
So much had happened that morning I’d forgotten that Mom packed my lunch. As I opened my locker, I remembered the snack fiasco.
UGH!
I pulled out a Ziploc bag full of carrots and celery, another Ziploc bag with four slices of turkey deli meat between one piece of whole wheat toast, and a 250ml bottle of water.
Yay?
Fuck this! If she wanted to give me a sandwich she should have at least given me two pieces of bread. I didn’t care if it was whole wheat, I just needed two pieces. Wasn’t it a sandwich rule to always have two slices of bread?
I sat down on a bench between two rows of lockers. I glanced at
the door before diving in to my meal. Every time we worked on the same shift, Jenna and I hoped we would get the same lunch break. Sometimes we did, most times we didn’t.
Five minutes passed and Jenna didn’t walk through the doors. I decided to begin with the worst: the celery. To distract from the awful taste, I dissected what had happened. I had immediately locked away my emotions until now when I had the chance to release them for the first time. I prepared to feel sick and regretful and, most of all, shocked that a cute guy would actually want to kiss me.
Oh my GOD! What the hell just happened? I thought as I crunched on celery.
His lips were this close to mine. If I hadn’t acted like such a wuss, his would lips would have touched mine.
No! I did the smart thing. I don’t know this guy and he could have had a disease in his mouth or on his lips.
I finished the celery and moved on to the carrots; they were better than celery any day.
I continued to dissect as I munched away.
If he wasn’t so tall he wouldn’t have had to lean in so much and his lips would have been on mine making it too late for me to move away.
I thought of his lips. They were wide but not stretched, and full but not chunky. The color was a lush, vibrant peachy-pink that glistened from him licking them.
Damn!
I finished the carrots and opened the Ziploc containing my half sandwich. As I ate the poor excuse for a sandwich, the realization hit. Now that I was allowing myself to feel every emotion that I banned this morning, how was I going to face him? I could barely look at him before and now that I had dissected every single detail about what happened, I knew I was going to be a nervous wreck working in such close proximity to him.
And I rejected him. Fuck! I realized and hit my forehead with my palm. Guys never took rejection well.
Shit, shit, shit!
And I wasn’t one of those super pretty girls. What if he wasn’t going to be nice about the whole thing? What if he decided to make me feel like a loser for turning him down? Like how dare I? I should be so lucky that he’d even want to kiss me, even touch me!
I gulped down the last bite of my sandwich; it went down like a rock. I glanced at my watch; I had two minutes until my break was over. I had to get a move on or else I’d have to face the wrath of Shelby for the third time. I downed my water bottle and threw it in the recycle bin outside the change room. The nervous butterflies returned with full force. All of a sudden it was difficult to breathe; the anticipation was killing me.
How am I going to get through this? I worried as I pushed through the doors that led out to the stand.
Chapter 3
“Where’s James?” I asked when I noticed Shelby alone inside the lemonade stand, counting change from the till.
She grunted loudly as if I annoyed her then dropped the rest of the coins into the till and closed it. “He’s been assigned to a different sector of the club. Are you going to be okay working alone?”
I nodded.
Shelby narrowed her eyes and gave me a peculiar look. “I hope you’re not sick?”
I shook my head slowly. “I’m not sick.”
Liar! Love sick? It doesn’t make any sense.
Shelby rolled her eyes. “Yeah, then why do you look like you’re about to throw up?” she demanded, unconvinced.
I looked away and cleared my throat.
Suddenly, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind: “My lunch’s making me feel a little funny, but I’ll be okay, it’s going away.”
Shelby let out a sigh of relief. “Good.” She didn’t want to be stuck closing up the lemonade stand if I had to go home sick. She left in haste, probably still fearful of any germs I might have been harboring.
I sat on the counter in front of the register; fifteen minutes ticked by, nobody came. My shift was getting boring, despite the brief excitement I’d experienced earlier.
Really fun, but now that’s over. No second chance, no kiss with a cute guy… Why does the world hate me?
I closed my eyes and dropped my head into my hands, resting my elbows on my thighs.
Why do I always ruin shit? Can’t I, for once, let things happen? It could have been the best damn thing that ever happened to me!
And now, he’s gone. The thought ricocheted off the walls of my skull, over and over again, mentally bruising me. I inhaled slowly, hoping it would somehow induce the clarity I needed to move past the awkward moment. I needed a pick-me-up.
I needed a candy bar.
I imagined going home with the feeling that I’d self-sabotaged again. The cherry on the shit-sundae would be the chat with Mom, Dad, Charles, and Katherine. They’d notice my funk, begin questioning me, and then declare I was selfish for not getting over whatever was bothering me. Then they’d all gang up on me and the fight about food would ensue. ‘Looking a little pudgy in the belly, Anna.’ ‘How many calories did you burn, Anna?’ God, I hated it.
No. I needed to change my brain waves. So what if I lost my chance, life goes on. I breathed deeply, allowing the afternoon air to enter every passage I had. Soon, I felt refreshed and slowly raised my head from my hands, blinking away my blurry vision.
Okay! Yeah! I feel great! Ready to take on the world!…What just happened?
My brave new state of mind faltered almost as soon as I completed the thought. So much for the power of positive thinking. I’d expected a warm hug around my heart – I felt empty.
I moped for a while longer until I finally got my first customer: an elderly couple. I pasted on a smile and made their drinks. I heard the clink of coins hitting the side of the tip jar. Despite the fake smile, the couple had given me a two-dollar tip.
*****
An hour later, I had wiped down the counters and closed up shop. Shelby had come by shortly after I’d served the elderly couple to inform me that I was closing early and to start cleaning immediately.
Now what am I going to do? I thought as I grabbed my things and shut my locker.
I was two hours early and that was two hours I did not plan on spending under the careful eye of Mom and Dad. It was unfortunate that they worked from home – they’d set up an office that took up the entire basement. It was rare to get the house to myself these days. If I went home, I’d be run over by a stampede of questions and demands as soon as I crossed the threshold.
Why are you home early? What time did you eat? Did you eat all of it? Show us your calorie watch! How come it’s that low? Didn’t you bicycle to work?
Then Mom would have her moment in the sun…
Did you like what I packed? Doesn’t it feel great knowing you only had about 600 calories until now? (Mom would be beaming, proud of herself)
…before grilling me on exercise.
How come you aren’t sweating, didn’t you ride your bike home? Don’t they have a gym at the club that you could have used? Isn’t that part of the privileges you get when you work there? Maybe you should go up and down the stairs five times; you could burn an extra hundred calories! Your brother and sister are out exercising now, learn from them!
Time for the food portion of the questioning…
How come you aren’t asking me about tomorrow’s meal plan? Show me your food diary!
I hope you realize school will be starting in a few weeks… (this one was always left hanging).
Then attempt at sympathy…
We only want you to be healthy; don’t you want to be healthy? You know, Anna Banana, boys can be cruel. (Father knows best on that one, right Mom?) Doesn’t it make you sad, wearing clothes that size?
And the final dig:
Would you like a salad with the dressing on the side for dinner tonight? (They’d already have the answer in their heads; dressing on the side was a trick question, there was no dressing!)
Going home early did not hold much incentive for me.
Fucking hell, is there no safe haven for me to go to?
I stared at my reflection in the locker room mirror as I wa
shed my hands. Their comments cut deeply. If I didn’t have my emotional control to fall back on, I would have spent an hour in the bathroom stall sobbing about how unfair life was. But I couldn’t do that, crying would just make things worse. Besides. I’d already come up with a top ten list for how my life sucked:
My ass was too big.
My parents and siblings thought my ass was too big.
I hadn’t had a decent meal in weeks.
There was nowhere I could go where there wasn’t a constant spiel about my ‘well-being’.
No one understood me. Except Jenna.
I didn’t have a boyfriend.
I had just fucked up with a cute guy.
I would never have another chance with a cute guy like James again.
I didn’t get paid until Monday and I only had $25 to last me until then.
Even if I wanted to catch the attention of a certain guy, I had no makeup and my clothes were disgustingly old. (Reminder: go shopping next payday.)
I dried my hands and headed out. I took a detour, forgoing the employee exit and heading straight to the reception desk to have a word with Jenna.
“Hey you,” I whispered dramatically when I reached reception.
The chair swiveled around and a giant grin greeted me.
“What’re you doing here?” Jenna asked playfully, her eyes shining brightly.
“It was slow, so Shelby cut my shift a half hour ago,” I explained as my elbows rested on the counter.
“It’s quiet up here too. Anything interesting happen out on the course?” she asked, gently turning her chair from side to side.
The club’s reception area was expansive. It had the space for three more pairs of hands to work, but Jenna was alone.
“Maybe,” I teased.
“You need to tell me everything!” Jenna demanded desperately.
I burst out laughing and took a step back, just in case she decided to jump over the counter and pummel me for holding out.
“Miss Barns!” an authoritative voice declared. Ms. Jones, one of the club’s administration supervisors came barreling out of the membership office in the back, stopping a few feet from her door. “If you could, kindly get back to work!”
