“I figured I’d move a few boxes over to the new apartment with it. It’ll be slow going, and I’ll have to make quite a few trips, but it’s better than sitting around doing nothing, right?” Holly straightened, ready to get on with it. “Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that.”
“You can’t be serious.” Lauren sounded shocked. “That’s just nuts. Look, if you’re worried about not having anywhere to go, don’t. You can stay here with us another night.”
“It’s not that. I said I’d be out today, and I planned on keeping my word. I might not make it, but I have to try. The least I can do is start, and hey, you never know. I could still be out by nightfall and come back for whatever I missed bright and early.” Holly shrugged. She wasn’t taking many big things with her except for a few items, like her TV and antique cedar chest. She would get the rest of the furniture later when Zander’s father took her shopping with a small portion of her trust fund money, thanks to her Aunt Karen, the acting trustee, approving it.
“If you say so.” Lauren still seemed disbelieving, which made Holly want to laugh. If anything, she always made good on her word if she could help it.
“Well, you never know. I am pretty stubborn. I’m not too proud to admit it.”
“You certainly are. Have fun, then.”
***
The wagon was a double-seater, so she was able to fit a couple good-sized boxes inside at a time. She was tired after two trips, and Lauren finally took her seriously and maybe even felt a little sorry for her when she called Zander herself and told him what Holly was up to.
“What are you doing?”
She’d been loading the wagon for her third trip when he startled her. “Moving a few things. What does it look like?”
“It looks like exactly what it is. But I’m wondering why you didn’t tell me there’d been a change in plans. I had to hear it from Lauren. I have a car, Hol. You know that, so why haven’t you called?”
She hunched her shoulders in defeat and blew a strand of hair from her face. “I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking of the car. I was thinking I needed to keep busy. I said I’d be out today, and I want to be. Call it stubborn pride.”
He closed the distance between them and instantly wrapped his arms around her. She leaned against him and placed her ear to his chest to snuggle. The sound of his heartbeat was soothing, and it reminded her of how tired she felt. “Have you stopped by to rescue me again?”
“Is that what I do?” He chuckled. “You sure know how to make a guy feel good.”
“It is, and I’m glad. You make me feel pretty good too, by the way, so it’s the least I can do,” she replied and puckered her lips to give him a quick kiss.
He kissed her back a few more times and then gave her a slight tap on her butt to get moving. “Well, the car is here and I’m at your service. Point me in the direction of those left-over boxes and we’ll get as much as we can done. With the trunk and the backseat, we should have enough room for quite a few.”
“My hero.” She fluttered her lashes, and he roared with laughter at her lame attempt to sound like a Southern belle. It was a great sound.
***
After two trips on the bus where complete strangers had to help her on and off with that stupid wagon of boxes, she and Zander finished moving the rest in one more trip.
“I’ll have to remember to give Lauren a big thank-you before I go. What took me forever, you did in no time.”
For every one box Holly carried, he was able to grab three.
“Speaking of.” He dropped the last of the load beside him and looked at her. “What are your plans for tonight?”
“I’m not sure. What do you have in mind?”
“I was kind of hoping you could maybe spend the night with me.” He folded his arms and leaned against the wall, looking delectable.
“Hmm.” She smirked. “Your place or mine?”
“Well, since you don’t have a bed here yet, I was thinking mine. So will you?”
“It sounds like a good plan to me.” She stood in front of him and interlaced their fingers before kissing him again. “I really don’t care where we end up tonight.” Butterflies danced in her belly, and she really looked forward to waking up by his side.
Freedom was sweet. She no longer had to feel like a third-wheel charity case everyone had to take care of. Nor did she feel like a football being tossed from house to house anymore. She was in charge in this brave new world, and she finally had a place in her life where she felt at home again. A place to start over.
“Good.” He walked her backward into her new bedroom and stopped right in front of her suitcases. “Let’s pack what you need in a small bag and hit the road. You can call Lauren later to let her know when we’ll get the rest of it.” He stood back and let go of her hands, and she giggled when he grabbed her butt again as soon as she bent over to get started. Her crummy day turned out to be a pretty good one in the end, and they were just getting started.
***
Zander
“Here, allow me.” The wind flew through her straight, long hair. As Holly struggled to tuck the strands behind her ears to get it out of her face, Zander moved behind her to help out. She inhaled deeply and then exhaled before leaning against him, his front to her back. She looked extremely content on his back porch, and he enjoyed the rare sight of it on her. He liked seeing her reaction when he could bring a little peace into her life.
She was a very complex woman with a lot to overcome, and a little stubborn at times. But despite the tough exterior and attitude she sometimes displayed to protect her emotions, he could also see the strength, determination, and the need to be loved and cared for in her eyes.
To think he’d nearly given up on them in the beginning when she’d been adamant about her no-relationship status. But the time they’d spent together as friends seemed to sway them both into so much more.
Then there was the accident and the baby, and he knew like a punch to the gut that he needed her just as much as she needed him. They’d been through so much together in such a short time, her even more so, and he admired her strength and devotion to those she cared for. He counted himself blessed that he was among them and liked that she wasn’t afraid to let him know it. His life was good for the most part, and he felt privileged to have grown up in a loving home with two caring, devoted parents. Holly wasn’t so lucky. She’d seen and done more than most at her age.
Something about her drew him in. He was man enough to admit that her body was the first thing that had caught his attention. Big tits and a nice ass were part of the perks, and he was always a sucker for a great rack, but now it was the whole damn package. She kept him on his toes and didn’t expect much, so there was no pressure, and he liked her a whole hell of a lot, despite her annoying reluctance to commit sometimes. It only made him want to support her even more and try to give her a little slice of the good life he knew she deserved. He was a decent enough guy, after all, but she had a long road to recovery, and he was willing to go as slow as she needed to get her there.
“Thanks.” She turned her head to look at him with a coy smile. “It’s so beautiful, isn’t it?” The sky was dark and clear with a few stars and a big, bright full moon dominating the scenery.
“I agree, but I much prefer the view down here.” He squeezed her closer and bent to whisper, “You’re beautiful,” before he lifted her chin with his finger to kiss her. His lips touched hers for a quick taste once and then twice more before he sucked on her bottom lip and pulled back.
“It’s my first free night.” She turned around to face him and looped her arms around his neck. “What are your plans for me?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and squealed with laughter as he threw her over his shoulder and carried her over the threshold. He bypassed his family without a word to get to his bedroom as quick as possible.
“How about a little of this?” he asked, and she chuckled when he tossed her on his bed and pounced.
He loved her, held her, and kept her close to him the entire night. Once sated, she was in his arms as they fell asleep until the very next day when they awoke for a second round. Their time together that night granted her a few more much-needed positive moments for her memory bank, and for his too.
***
Holly
“No way, this is not happening again. For Christ’s sakes, Clay, enough already!”
“I’m sorry, but what do you expect? There was so much leg work, and it wasn’t worth the shit pay they offered,” he grumbled.
“Well, man up and figure out what the hell you want to do. Shit pay is better than no pay at all, and I’m tired of doing it all myself. I’ve got two girls to take care of. I didn’t sign up for a third child,” Emma huffed. From her seat on the stairs, Holly watched her mother pace in the living room. She’d been on her way down for a drink before bed when she heard them arguing and decided to wait it out instead of being dragged in.
“This is, what, like job number five in the last six months?” Emma said.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? It’s not like I’ve been counting.” He yelled this time instead of sounding like a stubborn man-child. “I just need to find something that I like, and I’m not sure what I want to do yet.”
Holly rolled her eyes and chewed on her fingernail as the fight continued.
“It means what I said. My God, we’ve been together for over a year, and I’m tired of the excuses. Get a fucking job. It’s not that hard to do!” her mother screamed back. “I’m not sure I can do this with you anymore.”
“What the fuck?” he growled and stood face-to-face with her. “Is that an ultimatum? Because I don’t do that shit. I’ll get a job when I get a fuckin’ job, okay?”
“That’s not good enough.” Her mother sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as if deflated all of a sudden. “I’m tired, Clay, and I need you to help me out here. We’re arguing constantly, and I hate it. I can’t live like this. I’ll give you a couple more months to get it together, but that’s it, bucko. This is your last chance. You hear what I’m saying? The sooner the better. I think I’ve been patient enough.”
“Fine,” he growled and stomped from the room, slamming the door on his way out of the house.
Holly startled at the sound of the bang—loud noises made her jumpy—and then made her way to the living room, drink temporarily forgotten. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah.” Emma sighed. “I’ll get there.”
She sat on the couch, and her shoulders slumped when Holly joined her to give her a hug. “Okay.”
What else was there really to say? Holly was at a loss for words. She was old enough to know what was going on, but young enough to know better than to add anything to the adult drama. She didn’t need to hear it. It wasn’t her place. Her mother always found a way and took care of them well, so she assumed it would all work out in the end.
Shortly afterward, Holly was lying on the couch with her head in Emma’s lap, silently watching TV while her mother played with her hair before everything faded to black as she fell asleep. Safe, comfortable, and content.
Holly’s dream then shifted from a memory into another nightmare.
Sharp nails scrapped her scalp, a painful burn. A wet drop of blood slid down the side of her face over her cheek, and her eyes opened wide as she cried out. Her hair was pulled back violently, and her mother was no longer there. In her place was Clay, only he looked like a scary, demented clown. White face, red round nose, and multicolored hair sticking out at all angles. Saliva dripped from his sharp, yellow teeth onto her face, and he pinned her to the sofa with the longest fingernails she’d ever seen. He laughed while he forced her to look at him and pulled her hair some more in his tight hold.
“Please.” Her chin tilted upward, her body trembled, and she began to cry.
“I love it when they beg,” he hissed, and her face scrunched with a little disgust and a whole lot of fright. “You were a bad girl, Holly, and Mom had to go. My only mistake was leaving you!”
His talons grew and sharpened like knives, and she screamed in terror when he grabbed her and pierced them through her throat. The last thing she remembered was the out-of-body experience. Her face was locked in a shocked, lifeless expression as a pool of blood flowed slowly out of her body and ran down Bozo freak’s legs onto the floor.
Drenched with sweat, Holly thrashed and screamed herself awake. She sat up and gasped for air, having a hard time bringing the oxygen into her lungs. Why? She’d been plagued with nightmares for years, and they just kept getting weirder. What did it all mean? And, more importantly, how could she make them go away?
She was a certifiable freak.
“You okay, babe?” Zander sat up to rub her back, and she hid her face inside her hands.
“I-it was just a dream,” she whispered and tried desperately to control her tremors. She hated when he saw her like this.
“It must have been one hell of one. You’re shaking like a leaf.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to his body. “It’s not real. It’s okay.” He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back until she was able to breathe normally and loosen up. “You want to talk about it?”
“Uh-uh.” She shook her head and looked into his face for the first time since waking him up. “I’ll be okay. Just hold me, please.”
“Always.” He kissed her again, and she feigned sleep until she heard his snores. When he was in deep, she finally sighed and lay there in his arms, watching how peaceful he looked while he dreamed. Her peace was over for the night, and she squeezed him tighter, willing her heartbeat to slow down. She’d made some leeway from her long journey to escape hell, but there was a long road ahead of her.
Chapter Fourteen
Summer of 1999
Holly moaned with pleasure the minute her shoes hit the floor. After a long day on her feet at work, they were killing her. She walked through the hallway, stripping along the way. First her jacket, then her shirt and pants. She pulled on one of Zander’s tees he’d left behind from his last sleepover because it was comfortable, but mostly because she missed him.
It had been about a week since she’d last seen him, and the apartment was quiet and lonely lately. They’d talked every night, but it wasn’t the same. Either their work schedules clashed, he was too tired, or they had other plans already with their own friends.
“Hey, honey, what are you up to?” she said and smiled the minute he answered the phone. She got comfortable on her sectional, resting the phone on her shoulder and tucking her legs behind her on the next cushion.
“I just walked in a couple minutes ago. It was hot as fuck out today, and I’m drained.” Zander worked in landscaping and construction, which meant he was outside all the time. “How about you? Have a good day at work?”
“Boring, but tolerable, I guess. My feet are killing me, though. I think I might need to buy another pair of shoes.” Holly smiled when he softly chuckled.
“Wear flats. That might help a bit.”
“I’ll take that into consideration.” She chewed on her bottom lip and then sighed. “I wish I would have called a rain check on tonight with the girls, and if it wasn’t Tamara’s birthday I totally would. I miss you.”
“I miss you too. Try to have fun, Hol. I’ll be seeing you soon.”
“Care to be here when I get back?” It was wishful thinking, but hey, he had a key and a girl could always try.
“I don’t expect you’ll be home until after closing time, and I’ve got some plans with the boys tonight too. I’m all yours for most of the day tomorrow, I swear it. We’ve got to make up for some lost time.” He ended that with a growl of need and she shivered.
“Mmm, I can’t wait.”
“Me neither, trust me,” he rumbled. “Listen, I’m about to jump in the shower to get the dirt and sweat off. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
“As soon as you can, I hope.” Her heartbeat fluttered,
and she began to look forward to the next day with him. “I wish I was there to help wash your back.”
“Tease,” Zander growled.
“Yeah, but only for you.” She giggled. “Have fun tonight.”
“You too. See you later, babe.”
“Promises, promises.” She smirked. “Until tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow for sure.” Click.
***
The girls were looking good, if she had to say so herself. Chrystal, Tamara, Nadia, Angel, and she went the whole nine yards to get ready for their girls’ night. Holly kept her hair down, like Zander liked it. She’d teased it a little and rolled it with a round brush to add volume to her layers. She used a hint of makeup to accentuate her big green eyes, a bit of eyeliner and mascara, some rouge, and some lip gloss to make her full, pouty lips look moist and succulent. She wore a pair of skinny jeans and an old Metallica tank that made her boobs look great and finished off the ensemble with a pair of black flats because her feet were still too sore for anything else. Freakin’ blisters.
The birthday girl had her hair in a ponytail with her long blonde locks flowing from the elastic and wore a pair of acid-wash shorts, a tee, and comfy shoes. Her sister dressed very similar to Holly in a tee and jeans but with shoes that had a bit of a heel. Her blue eyes were as clear as the ocean, and they stood out exceptionally against dark hair almost the same shade as Holly’s. Nadia and Angel both wore sexy summer dresses with strappy shoes, and their long, smooth bare legs looked great with sandals.
They’d met at Tamara’s for a couple of drinks while they all got ready, giggling and shooting the shit, mostly to vent. The birthday girl was having trouble in paradise with her beau and was in real need of some good times. That was the plan and Holly was sure feeling it. She hadn’t had an alcoholic beverage in nearly two years. After leaving Lauren’s she’d really cleaned up her act, and part of that was thanks to her man. The other two reasons were the promise to her mother and the fact that Holly didn’t like the person she was becoming. Ancient history now…
Broken Survivor Page 18
