by E. L. Todd
“I feel like I go back and forth a lot. I don’t mean to. Just happens.”
“You’ve only had your memory back for six weeks. It’s gonna take a lot longer than that to be certain of what you want.”
“Yeah, probably.” She sipped her iced tea and then tilted her head to the side. “It seems like Ace pays a lot of attention to you…”
“He’s always been that way.”
“Yeah, but I see him stare at you all the time.”
She had no idea how much I wished that were true. “It doesn’t mean anything. Ace could have me whenever he wanted me, but he doesn’t. If he did, he would have said something.”
“Maybe he’s thinking about it.”
I shrugged. “He said he just wants to be friends, so I’m gonna assume that’s how he feels.”
“He’s so sweet to you and the girls.”
“But he was like that before.”
“Well, keep this in mind,” she said. “He’s never been that sweet to me. I’m not complaining, but he obviously feels differently toward you than he does for everyone else. I think there’s a chance.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure he got some woman’s number at the beach. And he’s still seeing Lady. So…I’m not getting my hopes up.”
“Hmm…maybe he cares more about being a manwhore than being with a good woman.”
I shrugged. “That’s what Cypress says.”
“I’m sorry, Amelia. Maybe he’ll come around.”
I found that unlikely. “The girls asked for Evan yesterday.” I didn’t want to talk about this, but it was gnawing at me.
“They did?” She abandoned her iced tea altogether and gave me all her focus.
“Yeah. Rose said she misses Daddy. Lily asked when he was coming back.” I hated my ex-husband so much. I could forgive him for cheating and leaving me, but I couldn’t forgive him for letting down our girls. It was unacceptable. He had no idea how it was on them. “I’m afraid they’re going to grow up thinking their father doesn’t love them…that messes people up.”
Bree lowered her head and sighed under her breath. “Maybe you should talk to him. Put his head on straight.”
“I hate talking to him.”
“I know,” she said gently. “But for the girls.”
“I’ve tried before.”
“I’m more than happy to do it for you. And I’m sure Cypress is too.”
That wouldn’t get me anywhere. “No, it’s hostile if it comes from anyone else. I need to do it.”
She rested her hand on mine. “I’m so sorry, Amelia. I wish none of this had ever happened.”
“One out of two marriages ends in divorce. I’m fine with that. But why can’t we still be a family?” I wanted to break down in tears right then and there, but I refused to let that happen. Crying wouldn’t get me anywhere. And a pity party was certainly a terrible idea.
“There’s no reason why you can’t. Talk to him again. Fight for your girls.”
I would always fight for them—because they were my whole world.
It wasn’t the ideal time to call, but I waited until the girls were asleep before I picked up the phone and dialed his number. He was probably lying next to that stupid whore who was barely an adult right then.
It rang three times.
Then he answered. “Everything alright?”
Was that concern he showed? I didn’t think he possessed such a thing. Instead of making a sarcastic comment, I pushed through. “Everything is fine. You haven’t come by to see the girls in a long time, and they miss you.”
Silence.
He was part of their lives for so long, and now he didn’t care? What kind of person did something like that? He’d spent holidays and birthdays with them, and now they were just a thing of the past—like I was.
“They said that?” he whispered.
“Of course. You haven’t seen them in four months. They want to see you, Evan.”
I could hear whispers over the line. His new girlfriend was saying something, but I couldn’t make out what it was. He said something back, and I couldn’t decipher that either. Then the sound of shuffling erupted as he left the room to get some privacy.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m not sure when I’m gonna have time to stop by. I’ll let you know.”
“Not sure when you’ll have time…?” Now I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. “Evan, these are your daughters.”
“I know, I know,” he said quickly. “I’ve just been busy—”
“How busy can you be? I work full time and then come home to them every night. You don’t have a legitimate excuse at all.”
Silence.
“Is it because of her?” I didn’t even want to consider the possibility that this woman was purposely keeping him from his kids. That was a new form of evil I didn’t know existed.
Evan never answered my question. “I should get going. It’s late.”
“Evan, your daughters are asking to see you. They’re gonna get older, and when they do, they’ll hate you. I don’t want that to happen—”
“Why are you still on the phone?” Her catty voice came over the line loud and clear.
“I gotta go,” Evan said.
“Wait—”
He hung up.
The son of a bitch hung up on me.
I tossed the phone on the table, about to give in to the grief that was sweeping through me. Tears burned in my eyes, and they couldn’t be stopped. I let them fall down my cheeks, streaking to my lips.
I was so disappointed in him.
I didn’t ask for a single thing from him, not even child support anymore. All I wanted was for him to be a father. That was it.
I wanted to call Bree so she could calm me down, but I didn’t know if she was busy with Cypress. I wanted them to work it out. Cypress would never do something like this to her. Maybe he’d cheated on her a long time ago, but Cypress was a changed man. Evan never cheated on me in the past, but when the right woman came along, he turned into the biggest asshole on the planet.
Without thinking, I called Ace.
“Hey, what’s going on?” He answered on the first ring, his voice attractive and charming.
The tears kept falling from my eyes. “I’m sorry to bother you…”
Ace’s attitude completely changed when he heard the sound of my voice. “What is it, baby? Talk to me.”
“I talked to Evan…”
The sound of movement erupted over the phone. “I’m on my way, okay? I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“You don’t have to come over—”
“I’ll be there in five minutes. Now keep talking to me.”
I couldn’t get my ex-husband to spend time with our kids, but Ace jumped to my aid the second he heard my distress. “I told him the girls needed him, but he wasn’t responsive. What’s-Her-Name told him to get off the phone. I think she doesn’t want him to see the girls.”
“Are you serious?” he asked. “What kind of psychopath would do that?”
“I don’t know…”
“I need to kick his ass.”
“That won’t do anything. I just don’t want my girls to hate him, you know? He’s their father.”
“Honestly, they should hate him. What kind of man leaves his wife for a woman ten years younger than him? What kind of man abandons his kids? He’s not a good role model for them, and if that’s how he’s gonna be, then good riddance. They’ve got you, me, Cypress, Bree, and Blade. They’ve got all the family they need.”
I started to cry harder because those words meant everything to me.
My front door opened and closed when he arrived. He hung up the phone and shoved it into his pocket before he pulled up a chair and sat in front of me in the kitchen. He watched the tears stream down my face before he moved me into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist.
I rested my face in the crook of his neck, grateful for the privacy he gave me. I
cried my eyes out as he held me against his chest, his strong arms protecting me from everything in the outside world. I felt weak for breaking down like this, but I couldn’t stay strong anymore. The loneliness wasn’t so bad. The emptiness wasn’t so bad either. But knowing my girls didn’t have a father killed me inside. I wanted them to feel only loved—never anything else. “I’m sorry…”
“Why are you apologizing to me?” He moved his hand through my hair.
“For crying…for bothering you.”
“You never bother me, Amelia. I’m here because I want to be here. I play with your girls because I think they’re angels. Don’t ever think otherwise.”
“I just feel weak for letting him get to me like this. When he left, I told myself I wouldn’t cry over him again.”
“You aren’t crying for him.” His hand trailed down my back. “You’re crying for your daughters. Being sad doesn’t make us weak. It’s okay to collapse. But it’s not okay not to get back up again. I know you’ll get back up stronger than you were before. But you need to cry for now.”
I clung to him tighter, grateful he was there. “You’re such a sweetheart, Ace…” My feelings for him had never been only superficial. They went way beyond skin deep, recognizing his kind soul and his good heart. When he found the right woman, he would be a great father and husband. He would never let his family feel the way I did now.
“I’m a sweetheart for you, Amelia.” He turned his face into mine so he could meet my gaze.
My eyes were red and wet, but I managed to make myself stop crying. I held his look, my lips trembling and my body weak. He made my heart soar high above the clouds. He made me feel stronger than I really was. My body succumbed to his handsomeness, but my heart was even weaker for his.
His hand moved into my hair, and he turned my face toward his, his fingers hinting at the strength he possessed. If I’d wanted to move away, he wouldn’t have allowed me. He would have kept me in place as long as he wished. He pressed his forehead to mine, and his warm breath moved across my lips.
The tears halted immediately. I couldn’t even breathe. He hadn’t kissed me, but I felt all the emotions that overtook me when he did.
His thumb swiped the corner of my mouth before he kissed me, his lips soft and delicate as they caressed mine. He’d never kissed me this gently before, treating me like I was made of glass.
I closed my eyes and kissed him back. My arms circled his neck tighter, and I pressed my body into him, my nipples hard and poking into my cotton bra. Instead of pulling away, I let the emotions and hormones get to me. I moved my mouth harder against his, pulling his bottom lip into my mouth. He was such an incredible kisser that I didn’t think about Evan or the stupid bimbo he left me for. I just thought about Ace.
Within a minute, I felt his erection through his jeans. Thick and impressive, his package pressed right against the most sensitive part between my legs. The tears I’d shed had long disappeared, dissolving into my skin and his fingertips, and now I could only think about having that enormous dick inside me. Every touch was sensual, and I wanted my heart to be touched in the same way. I didn’t think about any consequences that would transpire in the morning. It had been a mistake the first time, and it would be a mistake the second time as well.
But that didn’t stop me.
My hands reached to the top of his fly, and I unbuttoned his jeans.
His lips hesitated as he kissed me, but once the zipper was down and his boxers were exposed, he kissed me harder than before. His tongue swiped against mine in an erotic dance, and I felt my panties dampen in preparation.
Ace rose to his feet and carried me with him effortlessly. His hands slid under my ass, and he kept me right against his chest before he moved through the living room and into the hallway.
My arms tightened around his neck, and I held myself up as much as possible even though he could handle my weight without a struggle. He carried me into my bedroom, which was down the hallway from the one the girls shared. He gently shut the door behind him rather than kick it closed and then laid me on the bed, his body falling with me.
Clothes came off, and the kisses turned dangerous. He kissed my neck and groped my tits as he kicked his jeans and boxers away. Once our clothes were gone and we were naked, he positioned himself on top of me. “Got a condom?”
All the joy left my body when I realized there wasn’t a single one in the house. Evan and I never used them, and I hadn’t been with anyone else since he left. I’d had an IUD placed inside me after Lily was born because Evan and I agreed we didn’t want more than two kids. “No…”
He pressed his lips to mine but didn’t kiss me. A restrained sigh came from his lips. “I’m clean.” He looked to me for permission, leaving the ball in my court. “Never been with a woman without wearing one.” He didn’t ask if I was clean in return, probably because the answer was obvious.
Ace wouldn’t lie to me, especially about something like health. “I have an IUD.”
“Is that a yes?” he whispered.
I wanted to feel Ace’s come inside me. Just thinking about it made my nipples harden. “Yes.”
He dug his hand into my hair, and he kissed me with the same forceful sensuality as before. Instead of the conversation ruining the mood, it seemed to invigorate it. He wrapped my legs around his waist before he slid inside me, moving through my overwhelming slickness with a swift thrust. “Fuck…” He kept his voice low, but it was a struggle. His hand tightened on my hair, and he yanked on my scalp slightly.
I loved feeling his bare skin without latex between us. It felt incredible, skin-to-skin. My ankles locked together, and I gripped the back of his shoulders like last time, holding on for the ride that was about to commence.
He didn’t fuck me with the same momentum as last time. My girls were in the same house, so we couldn’t make a sound. The headboard couldn’t tap against the wall, and I couldn’t scream when he made me come.
But the restrained silence somehow made it hotter. We breathed against each other’s mouths and struggled to remain quiet even though it felt so good. My nails dug into his back, nearly drawing blood, and I had to swallow all the moans that formed on the back of my tongue. Somehow, it was better than last time.
“Amelia…”
I panted into his mouth when I heard him say my name. He made me feel like a beautiful woman, the one he spotted across the room and needed to have. When his cock was that thick because of me, I felt more beautiful than I did on my wedding day.
With a few more thrusts, I came, crushing my mouth against his so I wouldn’t shout loudly like I did last time. I forced myself to remain quiet, even biting my bottom lip just to make sure nothing escaped my throat. My channel tightened around his cock, and I could feel my come sheathe him all the way to his balls.
“Fuck.” He looked into my eyes as he came, the sexiest expression I’d ever seen him wear. He shoved the head of his cock all the way to my cervix as he released, filling me with mounds of arousal. His eyes darkened and his jaw clenched.
Now I was turned on all over again.
He ended his thrusts and remained on top of me, buried inside me along with all the come he’d just given me.
I didn’t want him to pull out. I didn’t want him to leave. “Fuck me again.”
He gave me a soft kiss. “I’ll fuck you all night.”
I walked Ace to the door at four in the morning. We slept for a few hours, but we both agreed he should be out of the house before the girls woke up. I didn’t want to be stuck explaining Ace’s presence to a seven- and five-year-old. I also didn’t want them to get used to another man who wouldn’t be sticking around.
I didn’t know what this hook up meant for us, but my expectations were low. When he came over, I wasn’t looking for sex and neither was he. It kinda just happened. It might have happened sooner if we were ever alone together. I felt the attraction pull on both of us whenever we were near each other.
We stepped outside
into the darkness and shut the door behind us.
Ace turned to me, his hair messy and his eyes heavy-lidded with exhaustion.
I didn’t know what to say, so I let him speak first.
“I’m sorry.”
That was the last thing I expected him to say. “What?”
“I’m sorry I kissed you. I’m sorry this happened.”
There was nothing to be sorry about. “I’m not. I really enjoyed it.”
A ghost of a smile stretched on his lips. “I did too. But Cypress is right, it’s wrong.”
“Nothing that good is wrong.”
“Well, it can’t happen again. When I came over here, I genuinely wanted to comfort you.”
“I never doubted that, Ace.” I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling cold the second his arms weren’t wrapped around me. “Don’t feel bad about it. If you hadn’t initiated it, I probably would have.”
He bowed his head and nodded. “Can we keep this between us?”
I knew Ace wasn’t looking for anything serious, and tonight wouldn’t change that, but I still couldn’t swallow the disappointment all the way down. I wished we could have sex like that every night. I wished I could always sleep full of his come. “Of course.”
“Alright. Cypress would kill me if he knew.”
“Cypress is just overprotective.”
“Well, he has every right to be.” Ace stepped closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Good night.”
“Good night.” I braced myself for the kiss that would make me feel numb everywhere.
And it did. He kissed me softly before he pulled away. “See you in a few hours.”
“Okay.” I watched him go, wearing a smile that wasn’t truly genuine. I was happy I got to spend the evening with him, but I was sad I wouldn’t get to spend tomorrow night with him. I would be alone in my bed.
Thinking about him.
21
Bree
The sun was out when I walked out the front door that morning. A white envelope sat on the doormat. I picked it up and saw my name scribbled on the front in masculine handwriting. The envelope was sealed, so I used my finger to rip it open.
