by Katie Ford
“I know,” is her broken whisper. “But I just don’t know what to do. I mean … should we tell Vincent and Elaine?” she asks. “What happens when people find out? We’re brother and sister, Trent,” she says brokenly. “There are gonna be so many rumors.”
I nod firmly.
“Adopted brother and sister,” I correct, holding her hand within the protective cocoon of mine. “And everyone knows that, so don’t be scared. But let’s take this one step at a time. Don’t you think that our actions speak volumes? About the fact that we never used protection? Never even talked about it sweetheart?”
She turns wide eyes to me again, and I can see they’re filled with tears. Oh shit. What if she doesn’t want the child?
“But Trent,” she mewls. “I just … I don’t know why we didn’t talk about it,” are her unsteady words. “I guess it just felt so good, and the sex was spontaneous all the time.”
I shake my head slowly.
“No sweetheart, it wasn’t spontaneous. I mean, yes, it was. The electricity between us can fire up in an instant, going from zero to sixty in two seconds flat. But all those times I crept down to your room? That wasn’t spontaneous. I knew what I was doing. All those times you visited me at my college, or I visited you at yours? That wasn’t spontaneous. We knew that some hot loving was on the menu, and never bothered to use protection.”
But Janie can’t absorb it yet. The discovery is still too new and sudden, and she shakes her head, unable to process the hard fact that she’s pregnant. She lets out a huge exhale before turning wide, tear-filled eyes to me once more.
“Trent what are going to do?” she asks, choking a bit as sorrow overcomes her. “I don’t know where to go with this.”
It’s a good question because although Janie may be lost, I’m not. I know exactly what I want, and this is the culmination of my dreams. I want Janie, fertile and round, growing with my child. I want to suckle at her breasts, knowing that milk will soon spring from her teats. I want to lick at the cleft between her thighs to provide ease and comfort when she’s heavily pregnant. I want to fuck her with my dick bumping up against our baby’s head, the ultimate affirmation of my virility.
Because living with the Martins changed my perspective on family life. My parents were monsters. They didn’t give a shit about me. It wasn’t so much outright abuse as just complete neglect. Once our front door closed, the alcohol started flowing and I was free to come and go, live or die as I pleased. Another teen would have been ecstatic to have so much freedom. But when this has been going on since you were six or seven, it’s not cool anymore. I’ve packed my own lunches since second grade, and started doing the household’s laundry in third.
So yeah, I was pissed. Even more so because no one knew. All my parents cared about was appearances, and they were clever about hiding the problems. For example, most people carry their recycling out with the garbage, sorting it carefully into plastics versus paper. But Karen and Bob were stealthy. They actually excavated a secret landfill in our backyard, where the two of them threw their empty vodka bottles and crushed cans of beer. They didn’t want even the garbage man to know of their addiction, so we literally had our own dump hidden behind the magnolias. Fuck.
So yeah, I’m pissed. I’m through with the drinking from sunset to sunrise. I’m through with people who don’t give a shit about others. I’m through with keeping up appearances. Because as long as Karen and Bob had the perfect life on the outside with a handsome, athletic son, it didn’t matter what happened behind closed doors.
But that’s where the Martins come in. Living with them has been a blessing because it broke me out of my hardened, cynical shell. I had a chance to move in with a real family, and see how real families treat one another. How Vincent and Elaine are truly in love, even after twenty years of being married. How it doesn’t matter what other people say about you. Instead, it’s about how well you treat your spouse in a constant series of small, loving gestures. The Mercedes in the driveway with a big, red bow? That was my dad’s gift to my mom, both Bob and Karen flushed with excitement because they knew the neighbors could see. By contrast, the Martins would never do anything like that because it’s not what matters to them. They know that what counts are the small hugs, the secret smiles, and the love that’s almost tangible in their household.
And that’s their biggest gift to me, and what I want to share with Janie. She’s been laboring under the illusion that I was distraught over my parents’ death, and to some extent, I was. After all, Karen and Bob provided a roof over my head, if nothing else. But the true miracle happened when I moved in with her family, and as a result, my world view has completely changed. Before, I never wanted kids. I never wanted to get married. My focus was on achievement and things. Showing off to the world what I had and other people didn’t.
But now, it’s all been upended. Vincent and Elaine have helped me see the world with different eyes, and I’m not so cynical anymore. Instead, I too, want a rock-steady home life with a cute, curvy girl who has solid values. I don’t care about cars and houses and shit. I want a woman that I can treat well, and who will treat me well in return. Someone with a sweetness to her demeanor, who’s sharp as a whip but also playful and fun. And I believe that woman is Janie, hands down. So yes, I’ve never used protection when we had sex. Never even brought it up because somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew that this was what I wanted. To make a baby and a home with my beautiful brunette.
And now it was time to tell her the truth about the pent-up feelings I have inside. I take those small hands in mine before looking deep into that caramel gaze.
“Sweetheart, you know I love you,” are my slow words, squeezing her palms tight. “You mean the world to me, and I tell you that every time we’re together.”
She nods, but can’t meet my eyes, bottom lip trembling.
“Yes Trent, but still. We’re having a baby,” she says on a whisper. “What do we do? Everyone’s going to hate us. There’s gonna be so much gossip and maybe I’ll be forced to drop out of school. Or maybe … I don’t know,” she says miserably.
I squeeze her hands again, my gaze rock steady.
“It doesn’t matter what other people say,” is my even tone. “Trust me, I know.”
But Janie’s not hearing my words because she shakes her head miserably, chin quivering. And to my horror, a tear courses down on cheek as a dagger stabs my heart. Holy shit. She shouldn’t feel terrible like this, and it takes everyting in me not to cover her with kisses as we sit there.
But the thing is that there are important words to be said, and this is the time to say them. So I turn her face to mine with a gentle hand, looking deep into those caramel eyes.
“Like I said sweetheart, it doesn’t matter what other people think. Trust me. What matters is how you and I feel about our life together, and sweetheart, I’m over the moon that you’re pregnant. To me, it’s a miracle that our son or daughter is growing inside you at this very moment.”
She blinks slowly, a tear trembling on the edge of one lash.
“I’m sorry?” comes that sweet whisper. “You’re happy that I’m pregnant?”
I squeeze her hands again, but my blue gaze is sharp and bright.
“That’s right, honey,” comes my low rumble again. “This is exactly what I want. A home with you, me and you raising this child together, and maybe even having another one if we’re not overwhelmed. That is, if you want it too,” I throw in slowly. “Do you sweetheart? Is this picture I’m painting something that sounds good to you?”
Janie’s staring at me now like I’ve gone berserk.
“Trent,” she says slowly. “You can’t be serious.”
I look right back at her.
“Why not?”
“Why not?” she sputters, pulling back for a moment. “Because we’re related! We’re adopted brother and sister, and we have the same parents! Everyone knows that. They’re gonna be so much talk and the entire community will be scandalized.”
“You’re talking like we’re about to be branded with a scarlet letter,” I say dryly, “before being paraded through the town while people hurl eggs our way.”
Janie stares at me again.
“Trent, this isn’t funny,” she huffs. “I’m serious. We’re talking about serious things here.”
Immediately, I’m contrite and gather her hands again.
“Of course, sweetheart,” is my semi-apologetic tone. “Didn’t mean to make light of an important issue. It’s just that you getting pregnant really is something that I’ve wanted for a long time, and I thought you should know. I want to have a baby with you, sweetheart, and it would make me so happy if you wanted the same thing too.”
Janie’s dumbstruck now at the bombs I’ve dropped.
“Wait a minute,” she says slowly. “You wanted this to happen? Us forgetting to use protection wasn’t “forgetting” at all? You planned this?”
I shrug a little.
“Not planned, no not exactly. But I knew that the chances were good, what with you being a fertile eighteen year-old girl. And we were having sex all the time, so it was more likely than not to happen. So I didn’t plan it exactly, but the ground was definitely laid for Mother Nature to have her way.”
These words are totally reasonable, but Janie just stares at me, hard.
“I think you’re crazy Trent,” she says in a slow voice. “This is a disaster, you know. We can’t be pregnant because we have our whole lives ahead of us. Two teens raising a baby together when we’re just babies ourselves? It’s sheer lunacy.”
The words make me see red, but I keep my composure. After all, Janie’s reaction is understandable. She’s scared. She’s frightened. She’s been responsible her whole life, and now is no exception. But at the same time, I want the female to see my point of view so I decide to address her statement one point at a time.
“First honey, this is not a disaster. Again, the pregnancy is something that I want. Sure, it was somewhat unexpected, but you know, sometimes the best things happen through sheer chance. Second, yes, you and I are technically teens. But we’re not people without means. In fact, I’ll be inheriting the Lewis estate in about two years, and let me tell you, Karen and Bob were worth a good seven figures. So by the time the baby is born, we should have plenty.”
But I’m not done yet because the most important part is coming.
“And last,” I say, my eyes suddenly becoming intense. “I’m not a child anymore, nor are you. You’re smart, funny, and beautiful, Janie. I’ve never met a girl who’s more with it than you. In fact, you’re more with it than a lot of adults, frankly,” I say in a dry tone. “Because I wanted to tell you about my family. They were a bunch of drunks,” is my blunt statement, “and I’m glad Karen and Bob are dead.”
If my previous words were like bombs, then this was a nuclear explosion.
“I’m sorry?” asks Janie, scrunching her nose while shooting me a disbelieving look. “Trent, you’re saying all these things that don’t make sense. What in the world?”
But I’m dead serious and I take that small palm in mine once more.
“No sweetheart, I mean it,” come the low words. “Karen and Bob were alcoholics of the worst sort. No one knew because they were smart. They were functioning drunks who never missed a day of work and performed at a high level to boot. They were careful never to let on, and Karen always had her hair and nails done, while Bob never let himself get a potbelly. But trust me, behind closed doors it was completely different. You wouldn’t believe it unless you saw.”
Janie’s now gaping at me now.
“Your parents were alcoholics?” she asks disbelievingly. “Really? But they were both so put together, and your mom was so nice whenever I talked to her.”
I shrug.
“And she brought brownies to the booster meetings every week too, right? But that’s the thing. Appearances deceive honey, and my parents were the masters of deceit. Like I said, they knew exactly how to appear prosperous, friendly, and normal. There was never a bill that went unpaid. If you needed help shoveling snow from your sidewalk, then Bob was the first to offer. But trust me, on the inside, they were total wrecks.”
But my girl just can’t believe it, her eyes wide and disbelieving. So I pull out the big guns then. Whipping my phone from my pocket, I flip to my camera roll and start scrolling to a folder that I’ve labeled “Home.” These were never supposed to be seen. I only took them because I was so disgusted that the compulsion was too strong. But now, the time has come to reveal the truth to a woman who means everything to me.
“See for yourself,” I say in an even tone, handing my phone over to Janie. “This was the extent of their depravity.”
And the brunette gasps as she starts scrolling through the photos because on the first floor, our house was immaculate. Any place that visitors might wander was done up like a spread for an interior design magazine. But upstairs? The private quarters were a sty with clothes thrown all over the place, empty pizza boxes stacked high, and most tellingly, empty bottles everywhere. Beer cans stacked in the corners. An empty Coors on the bathroom counter, sitting next to the mouth wash. Not only that, but some of the pictures show furniture that’s toppled, my parents lazing around like the drunks they were.
Because that’s actually the damning part of these photos. Karen and Bob are in them, either passed out or drunk off their asses. Oh yeah, there’s my mom with her mouth open and a long string of drool trailing to the floor. Her perfect hair doesn’t look so perfect anymore since she’s got her head smashed against a sofa cushion in her study. Oh, and there’s Bob face down in the reading room with a pool of vomit next to him. His hair’s sticky and clumpy, and do you see that dark stain on the carpet? That’s from the vomit that we cleaned up last week. Guess we’ll have to do it again.
So yeah, the second floor of the house was completely trashed, and this was my evidence. Clearly, the Lewises had problems because this wasn’t one party gone off the rails. The sad state of the house showed that in fact, this had been going on for years, if not decades.
Slowly, Janie lowers the phone, her face white.
“Is this for real, Trent?” she asks in a whisper, turning shocked eyes my way. “Your mom and dad were alcoholics.”
I nod curtly.
“Believe it,” are my terse words. “For as long as I can remember too. Going back to maybe second or third grade.”
Janie’s mouth opens once more before snapping shut.
“I’m so sorry,” she says, taking my hand in hers. “This is just … I don’t even know what to say.”
But that’s the opening that I’ve been waiting for.
“Janie,” I speak, my voice suddenly urgent. “I’ve just bared my soul to you, along with my horrific past and the secrets that haunted my family. But that’s the thing. None of it matters. They’re gone now, and even more, I learned what really matters from living with your parents these last couple months. It doesn’t matter how things look on the outside. It doesn’t matter if you live in a big mansion with multiple luxury cars. What matters is what’s going on on the inside, and that’s what you have in spades. You are the culmination of my dreams, sweetheart. You’re a girl with solid values and a good heart, and that’s what I want. No, it’s what I need. I used to be against having a family. I never wanted kids because how could I raise children with a fucked-up background like mine? But with you, sweetheart, all that’s changed. With you, anything’s possible and I want it,” is my fierce declaration, gripping her hand tight. “I want all that with you.”
Janie’s listening although I’m not sure what the girl’s thinking. She takes it all in carefully, breathing lightly, before opening her mouth.
“So you’re saying that despite what’s happened to you, you think that together, we can make things work?” she asks, turning my way. “That together, things will be different?”
And I almost
laugh then because this is what I love most about my girl. She’s able to sum up my long-winded declarations in about two sentences, and nail it on the head to boot. So I squeeze her hand again, and utter the most important words I’ve ever said.
“That’s right, sweetheart. I love you, and together, we can own the world together.”
For a moment, I’m afraid she’s going to reject me. Or even worse, she’ll laugh because let’s face it. I’m a nineteen year-old guy who’s speaking like a prince from a fairy tale what with the high-falutin’ language and heartfelt promises. But the words are true because I’m baring my heart, and even if the sentences sound a little cheesy, I mean every syllable.
But Janie doesn’t laugh, nor does she turn away. Instead, the beautiful brunette smiles at me and to my horror, her eyes begin to glisten. But this time, they’re tears of happiness.
“That’s what I want too, Trent,” she says on a whisper. “I want to be with you. I want to raise our baby together, and you’re right,” she says with a long, drawn-out exhale. “It doesn’t matter what other people think because what’s important is how we feel about each other, and how we treat one another. I’m so sorry about your past, Trent, but at the same time, I’m happy? Because we can be together now.”
And with that, I’m on her. My mouth seeks that precious pout like a heat-seeking missile, and oh fuck, but she’s delicious. Giving and moist, and mewling in my arms within moments. But it’s more than just the physical chemistry now. For the first time, we’ve spoken the words inscribed on our hearts, and the loving is more true, pure and honest, as it will be from here on out.
“Promise me,” I say, pulling back for a moment so that our foreheads rest lightly against one another. “Promise me that you’ll marry me when the time comes.”
Janie blushes beautifully, but she nods shyly.
“I will Trent. And promise me that you’ll be my wedded husband when the time comes as well. Because I want to be with you,” she whispers shyly. “You are my everything.”
And with that, our souls are joined as one. It doesn’t matter that the vows were said as we sat on a narrow twin bed in her childhood bedroom. It doesn’t matter that there were no witnesses or officiants. What matters is that we love each other, and that inside, our motives and emotions are true and pure. Because despite the fact that we are adoptive brother and sister … our relationship will endure because of the strength of our love and commitment.
