by Katie Ford
These memories will have to last me a lifetime.
Because that’s all I have left.
No more.
Never again.
But I’ll focus on the future. I’ll make sure my daughter wants for nothing, and that she needs for nothing. So gone are my dreams of being a chemist. There’s no way I can go to school while heavily pregnant, or even taking care of a child.
But I haven’t given up. Instead, I’ve turned to freelance writing because it has a flexible schedule. I can take jobs when they come, or turn them down if I’m too busy. Plus, I should be able to put the baby in daycare a few hours a day while scribbling my thoughts onto paper. Actually, it’s the only real option on the table.
“How is this going to work? How are you going to survive?” asked Karen worriedly one day. “Do your folks even know?”
I took a deep breath.
“I’ll be out of your hair when my delivery date comes around,” was my soft voice. “I promise.”
But Karen shook her head.
“It’s not that Joanie. It’s that life is tough for single moms. Don’t you think you should tell the dads? Don’t they deserve to know?”
A lump formed in my throat. I didn’t know what to think when it came to the six men. Those hot, hard bodies, their blue eyes so intense. But I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear facing them and seeing the disdain in their eyes, how little regard they had for me. I couldn’t bear seeing their shock and horror once they realized I was pregnant.
“Get rid of it,” one would spit.
“You did WHAT?” another would ask.
“It’s too late,” the last would say, a dead look in his eyes. “She’s past her first trimester. We’re stuck for life.”
Because that was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t want to saddle the alphas with a child they didn’t ask for. A baby who was nothing but a burden, an unwanted extra. After all, how many times did we talk about birth control? How many times did they ask me to go to the doctor to get on the pill? How many times did I dawdle, twiddling my thumbs?
So this was my secret to keep. My greatest burden, and also my great treasure. The child was mine, and I would raise her the best I could, using whatever meager resources on hand.
Money. I needed money. Well, not immediately. The billionaires had paid me plenty, so I was set for the near term. But it wouldn’t last me forever unfortunately. And hunched over at Karen’s small desk, I forced myself to focus. Focus, focus. There was nothing but the story in front of me. The characters. The plot. The emotional development and growth of my heroine.
I was just getting into it when the door swung open with a creak. No worries, we don’t usually lock our doors in the dorms. It’s more of an easy-peasy come and go situation.
“Hey Kar,” I greeted, putting down my pen. “I’ll head to the library now that you’re back. Just give me one sec.”
But my tone disappeared into nothingness. Because it wasn’t Karen at the door. It was my six former lovers, huge and looming. And without a sound, they entered, cramming those massive bodies into the tiny dorm room before shutting the door with a firm click.
“Oh,” I choked. “Oh.”
Oh god, oh god. What should I do now? Instinctively, my body crowded closer to the desk, hiding my bump. I was only showing a little bit, and maybe by keeping my midsection hidden, they’d never know. My hands itched, but I resisted the urge to run them protectively over the curve.
The billionaires took everything in, blue eyes assessing. They didn’t suspect, did they?
“Good to see you Joanie,” drawled Nick. “It’s been a long time.”
I swallowed heavily.
“Good to see you too,” was my stammering reply. “How did you find me?”
Aaron threw his head back and laughed, like this was truly funny.
“Sweetheart, we’ve known where you were since the day you disappeared. In a city with billions of cameras, you think a person can stay hidden? No honey. We’ve known for months you were here. Why’d you pick this place, anyways?” he asked, looking around. “It’s positively tiny.”
I gulped. The room was packed to the rafters with Karen’s stuff. She had a narrow twin, and my sleeping mat with an extra blanket was rolled up tidily at the foot of the bed. I’d been making my home on her floor, which wasn’t ideal for a pregnant lady.
But I pretended nonchalance.
“My friend’s a student at Hudson,” I said casually. “When she offered me a place, I said why not? It’s as good as any.”
The alphas’ eyes surveyed the cramped room, but they didn’t judge.
“Sure,” was Tom’s slow drawl. “Okay.”
That made me gulp again, nerves in a flurry.
“So what’s going on?” was my careless voice. “What brings you here?”
Six sets of blue eyes gleamed.
“Well honey,” began Charlie slowly. “This seems like a tough position to be in. Sleeping on the floor of your friend’s dorm room, eating mess hall provisions. What if I offered you a job? Or do you have a job right now?” he asked, eyeing the scraps of notepaper on the desk.
Embarrassed, I dropped my hand over the scribblings. Because I was writing a romance novel, one that loosely followed my experience working for Elite Air. Of course, there weren’t six guys in the book, but there was an innocent virgin who meets a billionaire. So it wasn’t a hundred percent made up.
But my spine stiffened. Why was I embarrassed? I was dead set on making a living for me and my child, without taking a dime from anyone. Writing was honest and true. Writing was noble, which was more than I could say about working for them.
So my chin lifted.
“In fact, yes. I’m beginning a new career as an author. Chemistry isn’t all that you know,” was my light fib. “I decided this fit me better.”
Charlie’s brows raised.
“Really?” he rumbled. “That’s too bad to hear because I was about to offer you a position as a junior scientist with my company. You know we do cosmetics, sweetheart, so we’ve got an R&D team that’s always puttering around in the lab.”
My cheeks flushed. That would be amazing! A job in a lab without having to get a degree first? It was like winning the lotto or finding a golden ticket under a rock somewhere.
But my mind hesitated. I didn’t want anything from the alphas, not after everything that had happened. They had another girl already. The men had moved on just like that, ruthless and opportunistic.
Don’t forget, the voice in my head warned. They replaced you the minute you didn’t show.
So instead, I nodded stiffly.
“Thank you,” were my curt words. “But like I said, I’ve changed my mind. I’m not going to be a chemist anymore. I’m going to be a writer. Maybe I’ll write about chemistry,” was my confident statement.
But there was a waver in my voice because chemistry’s been my dream for so long. To see it presented on a silver platter with no way to accept broke my heart. But I couldn’t risk everything, not without losing myself all over again.
So trying to seem lighthearted even while blinking tears back, my lips turned up in a smile.
“So what brings you here?” was my merry question. “I take it you have a new flight attendant for the airline. Is she doing a good job?”
Oh god, the words tasted like poison in my mouth, choking me with the noxious fumes. But it was what it was. I’d seen the blonde with my own eyes, coming into the elevator. And if it wasn’t her, then it was some other trashy whore.
But who was I calling a trashy whore? That’d been me one a upon a time, and I’d loved every second of it. So instead, I smiled lightly once more, even though my heart was shattering into a million pieces.
“What can I do for you, gentlemen?”
The billionaires were silent, gazes searing my form. Oh god, suddenly it was sweltering in this dorm room, so small and stuffy. I longed to open a window, but there was no way to do that without giving away m
y shape. Or maybe it was just pregnancy hormones and its attendant hot flashes.
So I forced another smile.
“Well, if there’s nothing, I’ll get back to work,” I trilled merrily, nodding towards the door. “It was good seeing you again.”
But the alphas didn’t budge an inch.
“Sweetheart,” began Nick. “We didn’t hire anyone else.”
What?
I must have gasped because their eyes focused, becoming laser-like.
But who had been that girl in the elevator then?
There’s only one penthouse on that floor. She’d definitely been at the apartment.
Tom corroborated Nick’s statement then.
“Sweetheart, you’re our one and only. Sure, we had a string of girls before you but there’s been no one since. No one as sweet and innocent. No one as amazing,” he growled with finality, staring at my curves. “We can’t get you out of our minds.”
I didn’t know what to say. Literally, words wouldn’t form.
“Bu-but,” I stammered. “But.”
“But nothing,” swept in Damien, those blue eyes intense. “But nothing. You’re our one and only and we want you back. We want you to work for us again, but you don’t have to if you don’t want. We want you to live with us. To laugh with us. To spend your days with us. Does that make sense?”
No, it didn’t at all. This was a one eighty turnabout from my expectations.
“I’m sorry,” were my slow words. “But I don’t understand. When I came back that day, there was a girl ….”
The billionaires looked stumped.
“Who?” asked Andrew.
“What did she look like?” asked Aaron, genuinely perplexed. “There have been no females since you’ve been gone. Not in New York, Atlanta, Chicago, or anywhere else for that matter. Nowhere.”
But I shook my head slowly. I hadn’t been hallucinating. She was real. Opening my mouth, I began slowly.
“When I came back the morning after the fight, I took the elevator up to your penthouse. And when I got to your floor, a woman was coming out. She got into the elevator with me. Tall, blonde, and real curvy.”
The alphas were genuinely perplexed.
“Are you sure?” rumbled Andrew, brow creased. “I sure as hell don’t remember anyone.”
If they were gaslighting me, then it wasn’t gonna work.
“I know what I saw,” was my firm tone. “The woman was blonde, dressed in a pink sweats with rhinestones on the back.”
Realization dawned in their eyes.
“Oh yeah, the rhinestones,” groaned Tom, rolling his eyes. “Those were tacky as shit.”
“Didn’t the rhinestones say something like “Lovergirl” or “Hello Booty”?” asked Andrew. “Superlame, that’s what fourteen year-old girls wear.”
I shook my head.
“I have no idea what was spelled out on her jumpsuit. All I know was that she came from your apartment,” I said vehemently. “And the six of you were inside.”
The billionaires nodded. But they weren’t worried at all, instead passing it off as no big deal.
“No worries, sweetheart,” rumbled Tom dismissively. “That hooch was nothing compared to you.”
“In fact, we ran her out after fifteen minutes, isn’t that right?” drawled Nick. “We got her out of there asap, as far as I can remember.
But I wasn’t going to let it go so easy.
“Listen, I don’t know anything about her. But what I do know is that you interviewed a girl the moment I disappeared. After she left, pressed my ear to the door, eavesdropping. I heard what you said. I heard you talking about her like she was … she was going to be the next stewardess.” The words choked in my throat, but I couldn’t help it. The lump in my throat was too big, making it impossible to talk.
But Nick shook his head.
“No, that’s not true,” he said forcefully. “Not true at all. Well, some of it is true. Because, you see, Helena set up an interview for us. We don’t even do these things usually. But for some reason, Helena broke from standard process, and sent this chickadee to Nick’s apartment that morning.”
“We tried to cancel,” growled Tom. “But it was too late and the girl didn’t get our texts. So we did a quick interview. What were our options? Refuse to open the door?”
I shrugged slowly.
“I’m not sure,” were my words. “It depends.”
The alphas continued, eyes fixed on my form.
“She showed up, and the minute Crystal, or whatever her name was, set foot in the door, things were all over. Actually, they were over before because we want you,” rasped Aaron. “We want only you sweetheart. But in the meantime, we had to ask her some questions to put on a show if nothing else. So we did, and she failed. End of story,” he shrugged.
My look was skeptical.
“Really?” I asked, brows raised. “You don’t have to play it down. You don’t have to pretend that Helena set you up. If you want another girl, it’s fine. It’s your prerogative, as the owners of the company. I work for Elite Air, remember? I’m just an employee, and employment is at will. You can terminate me if you want.”
The billionaires stared at me then.
“Is that really what you think?” drawled Nick.
“Do you really think we’re such heartless bastards?” added Andrew, brows raised.
The pain in my chest increased with each moment. But I was firm in my reply.
“It’s about money for sex,” were my words, eyes clear and direct. “I didn’t want to accept the cold reality, but it’s the truth, and I’ve come to terms with the situation. You paid for access to my body, and I agreed. There were no promises, no suggestions that it was anything more. So I accept the situation,” were my final words. “It is what it is, and it’s important to move on now.”
There. That was delivered with firm conviction, like I believed the words. But inside, my soul quivered and broke into a million pieces. How could this be happening? How had I gotten into such a sordid situation?
But it was a wretched situation of my own choosing, and truth be told, I loved every moment of it. I loved being with the billionaires, feeling their big bodies on mine. I loved chatting with them, laughing with them, and even watching them argue, positions so intense and fierce, refusing to take no for an answer.
And that was the crux of the issue. Because Nick gazed at me then.
“Is that all we are to you, baby girl?” he said quietly. “Just a source of sex?”
The lump in my throat was now so big that it was impossible to hide. So my next words were croaky.
“What else would it be?” I managed. “You never offered anything else.”
The alphas shared a meaningful glance.
“Well how about love?” drawled Nick slowly. “What do you think about that?”
My jaw dropped to the floor, unable to believe the words. Love? As in they loved me? How was that possible? This was a money for sex type of exchange, with nothing so messy as emotions thrown in. Were they insane?
“Listen,” I said, swallowing heavily. “You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to make things up to make me feel better. I’m a big girl,” I said, chin lifting bravely. “And I can handle the truth.”
Their eyes looked over my form speculatively.
“Well, how’s this truth?” growled Andrew. “We got into a massive fight over you, Joanie. Over you, and only you, sweetheart, because my bro and I wanted you so badly. What do you think of that?”
“Or how about this?” added Damien, voice casual although his gaze was intense. “Me, Charlie and Tom flew in the moment we realized there was trouble in the air. The second word hit that you were in distress, all six of us convened to figure out a good path.”
“That’s what you mean to us,” rumbled Charlie, blue eyes fierce. “We dropped everything to come to your rescue. How about that?”
My jaw dropped to the floor once more. Because was it true? Yes, the
twins had come storming into Nick’s apartment, demanding their time with me. And yes, I’d heard myself the six voices in the apartment the next morning. So something had called the men to New York, something compelling and immediate.
Was it me?
Could it be?
Did they care so much that I was their first priority?
And slowly, tears began to run down my cheeks.
“Do-do you mean it?” I stammered. “Because if you did, why didn’t you tell me earlier? Why didn’t you come find me?”
Oh god, the pleading tone of my voice was so embarrassing. But I hurt so bad that it didn’t matter anymore. I just needed to know the truth, and nothing but.
The men nodded.
“Sweetheart, it’s absolutely true. We didn’t come sooner because we were waiting for you,” rumbled Damien’s smooth voice, head cocked to one side. “No pressure, sweetheart, but we wanted you to come back on your own.”
That old saying huh? Let a bird fly, and if it comes back, it’s yours for keeps.
But my wound was too deep, the ache too excruciating.
“It’s been three months,” was my painful whisper. “You can’t imagine what it’s been like.”
And suddenly, all six men were on their knees surrounding the desk.
“Sweetheart,” rasped Nick, taking one small hand in his. “We know. We’ve been feeling the same. It’s been pure torture, like walking on coals with bare feet.”
“Every day has been torture,” added Charlie, eyes piercing. “I should have gone back to Chicago. Tom should be back in Tucson. Hell, all of us should be somewhere else. But no. We’re here because we love you and want you to come back. There’s no one for us but you, Joanie.”
“That girl was nothing,” ground out Tom seriously again. “She was nothing but an unfortunate coincidence. The timing was fucking awful, and we kicked her out asap, not realizing that you’d bumped into her in the elevator. For that, sweetheart, we apologize. I can’t even bear the thought of that woman laying eyes on you.”
But that’s the thing.
“She was there for a reason,” was my low whisper. “And that was to interview with Elite Air. So what happens now?” I asked in a pained voice. “What if I don’t want to fly anymore? Do you find someone else?”
