Muddy did the same and tapped her cookie against mine. “Whatever that man did to you, have him keep it up. These cookies are fucking awesome.”
We finished cleaning and putting stuff up with lighter conversational topics. I had a feeling that Muddy’s mind was just as busy as mine. I was confused about what I should do about Alec. I was scared, truthfully. I didn’t want to be hurt again. I still wasn’t ready to trust.
I was so distracted that I barely noticed Muddy wander off to handle cleaning a room upstairs. I was so distracted that I didn’t pay attention when walking into the walk-in fridge in the storage room off the kitchen. I was so distracted that I forgot about the faulty latch mechanism on the inside, and let the door slam shut behind me. I was so distracted I didn’t even realize what I’d done until I turned around and saw the closed door.
I gasped and rushed at the door, pushing and shoving at it with my body until I was breathing heavily. I knew there was no real reason to panic because Muddy would come in and find me. There was still a jug of milk sitting on the counter that she’d have to put away. In the meantime, I just had to sit in there and wait. That didn’t go over too well with my bear. Or me.
Feeling stupid, but desperate, I started screaming. I wasn’t even making any sense, just yelling. I wanted out of what was quickly beginning to feel like a casket.
My chest tightened and I tugged off the apron I wore. I pulled at the neck of my shirt, thinking it felt too tight and fanned myself with my other hand. It was hot. Why was it so freakin’ hot in a fridge?
Was there an air flow in there? I looked around and didn’t see a vent. There wasn’t enough air! I was going to suffocate.
I was considering shifting and ramming the door down when it was pulled open. Alec stood staring, his face pulled tight with worry. Before I could rush out and into his arms, he stepped inside and pulled me into a hug.
“Are you okay? I heard you screaming.”
Even his deep voice wasn’t enough to make me feel better when I watched the door close behind him. I slapped his chest and kept right on fanning myself.
“We’re going to die in here. Now there’s two people sucking up all the air. We’re going to die faster. Why’d you let that door close? Oh, my god.”
Alec turned and did the same thing as me, pushing at the door and grunting with the effort he was putting in. “It’s broken.”
I grabbed a package of cheese from the shelf next to me and put it on my hot forehead. “This is not how I wanted to die.”
He turned to me and grinned. “Cupcake, we’re not dying. Maybe when we’re old and gray and have lived a very full life together, but not like this.”
His words sank in and I wasn’t sure what panicked me more, that we were trapped in a walk-in fridge, or that he was talking to me like we were going to grow old together.
“I think I’m going to pass out now.”
20
Carter
“You are not going to pass out. Look at me.” Alec took my face in his hands and held me close. “There’s a vent pumping air in here. It’s not that cold. Muddy will come looking for you soon. I’ll shift and break down the door if I need to. I won’t let anything happen to you. We are completely okay in here.”
I looked into his eyes and felt myself calming down. “We’re okay?”
He smiled. “We’re okay.”
That sounded good. Really good. In that moment, a moment of terror, I liked the idea of Alec taking care of me.
“I take it this isn’t a good time to finish what we started last night.”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“I thought so.” He laughed and held me tighter to his chest. “I’ll always take care of you, Carter. You’re my mate.”
“You changed speeds pretty quickly. Yesterday, you were engaged to be married to someone else.” I thought about the bite mark on his neck and gritted my teeth. “You were having sex with someone else. Your actions leave me with a lot of questions about your intentions.”
“I wasn’t having sex with her! I admit that technically I cheated on Chelsie with you. Maybe not the best way to handle things. But, I promise you I haven’t touched her since I laid eyes on you. I swear. I wouldn’t have been able to even if I’d wanted to—which I didn’t! All I could think about was you, Carter.” He stroked his hands up and down my back. “My execution was flawed, but I’ve got it figured out now.”
My fear warred with a weird but ever present sliver of hope and loosened my lips. “It’s not easy to trust… I don’t trust easily.”
“Someone hurt you.” He said it as a statement and his eyes glowed as his wolf moved closer to the surface. “Where is he?”
I roughly shook my head and pressed my forehead to his chest, not able to look at him as I spoke my ugly truth. “He hurt me. I ran with Jellybean, but he followed. Cannon helped me hide, but he found us. He shot Cannon and almost killed him. Cannon…” I swallowed the lump in my throat unable to finish that sentence.
“Cannon killed him?” Alec’s voice was matter of fact.
I nodded and let him wrap his arms tighter around me. He was squeezing me tightly, but it felt good. I needed his closeness. “I knew we weren’t mates, but our kind don’t always find true mates. He was nice and he made me feel special. I thought I was in love with him. Then, I got pregnant…” I could feel my body tensing.
His hands stroked my back and arms comfortingly. “I’m not him, Carter. I would never intentionally hurt you. Our beginning wasn’t perfect, but I intend to make the rest of our lives as close to perfect as I can.”
I almost believed him. It scared the hell out of me, but there it was. “How does this work?”
He pulled back enough to meet my eyes. “What do you mean? Tell me what you’re scared of.”
“Everything.” I laughed, and then sobered. “I have Jellybean. I don’t come without her.”
“Okay, now I know we have to communicate more. I would never expect you to come without your daughter. I want all of you. Especially your beautiful child. Everything else, too. I’ll take the good, the bad, the secrets, everything. We were made for each other. I trust this enough for the both of us, Carter.”
The door opened behind Alec and Muddy peeked in. “Seriously? Can’t you two get a real room like normal people? I rent them out. Ask me about my rates.”
I blinked away tears that I didn’t want her to see and adjusted my shirt as I stepped away from Alec. “We got locked in.”
She made a show of bowing. “Then, I guess I’m a hero.”
Alec followed me out and, once we were in the kitchen, pulled me into his arms again. He pressed a kiss to my mouth and pulled back. “I’ve got to take care of some stuff, but I’ll be back.”
I nodded, wishing he’d stay and kiss me again. He didn’t, though. He let me go and strode purposefully out of the kitchen. I stood there, my heart in my throat, watching after the man.
Hope had taken over and I was letting myself start to consider a future with him.
21
Alec
I had a lot of loose ends to wrap up in the city, and the sooner I tackled them the better. I was in a rush. I hadn’t even left yet and already I couldn’t wait to get back to Carter.
I’d have to deliver the bad news to the board about the merger. And I had something special planned for Carter. I also wanted to get back before my dad arrived in Helen’s Corner.
I was planning to transfer most of the business decisions to my second in command, Howard. He’d been by my side for so long that he knew the business just as well as I did. He was going to shit bricks that I ruined the Dames deal, but I could handle his disappointment.
He’d be given a huge raise along with the increased work load I’d be handing him. He could still call me in for the big decisions, but I was going to be focusing on a different part of the business.
I planned to call Dad on the way back to the city and let him know when I’d be back in Helen’s Corner. Dad wou
ld be helping me get the new venture together, and checking out the empty storefront for me. I wanted to be hands on again. I wanted something small. Something that would let me take lunches with Carter and be home in time for dinner.
Home. I couldn’t wait to create a home for our family, me, Carter and Jellybean. I’d seen the fear in her eyes, yes, but I’d also seen the hope. She wanted it just as much as I wanted her. She just needed reassurance. I planned to give her that.
Carter wasn’t downstairs when I came back down after getting my stuff together. Muddy had let me sleep in a closet-sized room of the B&B since Chelsie still hadn’t removed her stuff from the other room I’d rented. Muddy wasn’t around, either.
I wished I had Carter’s cell number to call, but I’d leave a note on the front desk where either she or Muddy would see it. I opened my briefcase to look for a piece of paper, but all I found was corporate letter head. It would do.
As I put pen to paper, I thought of how Carter’s body had trembled in my arms when she told me about her past. She couldn’t even look at me. A pang of guilt shot through me. She had deserved so much better than finding her mate only to learn that he was engaged to another woman. I swore I’d do everything in my power to keep a smile on her beautiful face from now on.
A grin spread across my face. I remembered an old movie I once saw. She deserved it. I would write her a love letter.
What kind of shit does someone say in a love letter?
Turns out, it wasn’t hard at all to pour my heart out on paper. Not when the vision of Carter’s nest of blonde curls, pink cheeks with smears of flour, and buttercream scent was in my head. I let her know I’d be gone for a couple days, and that I would miss her every second I was away. I promised her that when I returned I would do everything in my power to make her happy. Her and Jellybean.
I meant every word.
I signed it “With all my heart, Alec,” then folded it in thirds and scrawled Carter on the outside. I paused. What the hell. I drew a little heart next to her name. Fuck, I had it bad.
I left it propped on the front desk for her, knowing she or Muddy would find it. A slow grin spread across my face as I imagined her reading it. Damn, I needed to get everything taken care of so I could return to her fast.
It was hell to leave Helen’s Corner and head to the airport. I knew finding a mate would be intense, but I had no clue that wherever I went, my heart would stay with her, remaining in her hands.
Every other thought in my head was about her. Everything I was doing was to be closer to her. I was giving up everything I’d worked so hard for, but none of that mattered. What had once meant everything to me, no longer did.
After finding Carter and Jellybean, they became everything.
22
Carter
Alec was nowhere around when it was time to leave. I briefly considered going upstairs to look for him, but from what Muddy told me, Chelsie hadn’t checked out yet, and I had no desire to run into her.
Alec had said he had some things to take care of. I wondered if that meant he’d stop by later. I tried not to admit to myself that I felt a certain amount of giddiness at the thought, even though it was still hard for me to envision a happily ever after.
I was thoroughly enjoying the midday stroll home down Main Street. When I passed Charlie’s shop, CMSD, I glanced through the window and waved. Then paused and looked down at myself.
Hmm. Maybe I could stop in and see Charlie. For a minute. Just to say hello. Not to buy any cute and sexy undies. Snarling back at my bear’s traitorous urging to dress up for my mate, I jerked open the door and walked in.
Charlie stood at the counter with a smirk on her face. “If only all my customers looked as pleased about buying lingerie as you, Carter.”
“I’m not buying. I don’t need any of this.”
Her lips twisted to the side. “Muddy mentioned that you’re in a pickle.”
I dug my fists into my sides and made a face. “Muddy’s got a big mouth.”
“Yeah, tell me something we don’t all already know.” She came out from around the counter with her hands raised. “I come in peace. I also come to show you some options that would look amazing on you. Should you change your mind about buying, that is.”
She lifted the tape measure from around her neck. “First, arms up.” I raised my arms while she slid her tape measure behind my back and met the ends in front.
I stayed quiet as she did her measuring, still doubting I’d actually buy anything, until she showed me a pale blue lacy set that I knew would hike up my assets to kingdom come. I lightly touched it and groaned. “It’s gorgeous.”
“It would look spectacular on you.”
The bell over the door rang and a muddled, acidic version of Alec’s scent drifted to me. I knew it was Chelsie without looking. My back stiffened and I dropped my hands to my side.
Without turning around, I blinked at Charlie a few times, attempting to communicate through facial expressions to let her know not to say anything else.
“Got something in your eye?”
I closed my eyes and then rolled them to the back of my head. “No. Nothing. I just stopped in to say hello.”
“Oh, I love that! I’ll take it.” Chelsie wedged herself in between us and fingered the blue lace number. Then, dug in her purse and handed Charlie a credit card. “Well, hello, Carly. I’m surprised to see you here.” She didn’t sound surprised.
“It’s Carter.”
She waved a hand like she was dismissing my name correction. “Alec explained all about how you tried to rope him into dumping me so you could sink your gold digging hooks into him.” Chelsie crossed her arms over her chest and looked down her nose like she was scolding me.
Charlie bristled, but let me handle it.
I supposed I owed Chelsie an explanation, although I didn’t know exactly what to say. “Look, what happened between Alec and me—”
“Well, your ploy didn’t work. He’s not stupid enough to throw away a billion-dollar deal for some white trash waitress.”
My stomach sunk to my toes. What was she saying?
Charlie handed Chelsie her purchase and quickly backed away, disappearing behind the counter again. I’d have to thank Charlie for abandoning me when I got the chance.
“I can’t wait to wear this for Alec. He loves when I wear these tiny little things for him. Not that I ever have them on for long.” Her tinkling laughter was like nails on a chalk board. “If you’re wondering where he is, he’s come to his senses. He’s gone back to New York, and our wedding is proceeding as planned.”
I felt like I’d just crested the highest hill on a roller-coaster ride and was on a fast descent, only the drop was never-ending. “I’ve really got to go.” I edged away, but Chelsie matched my every step. I was torn between wanting to throttle her and wanting to rip my own hair out.
I glanced at Charlie, but Charlie was mimicking choking Chelsie. No help at all. I made a beeline for the door. But, she followed me outside.
“You really didn’t think someone like you would snag one of New York’s most eligible bachelors, did you? Alec’s in a completely different league than you. Could you just picture it, him introducing you to his Wall Street buddies? He’d be a laughing stock. This is my girlfriend, the low-rent maid and her snotty little brat.”
Line crossed. It was one thing to go after me, but my daughter was off limits. I felt the fur on my arms start to emerge. Charlie just watched through the window, wide eyed.
Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t shift.
There was no way I would be able to explain away an uncontrolled shift to a non-shifter. I had to get myself under control. But, how dare she insult my child! How dare she call Jellybean names! She didn’t even know her.
Calm. Calm. Breathe.
It took several seconds, but I was able to calm my bear enough to feel the hair on my arms recede. I was back in control.
I balled up my fist and popped the bitch right in t
he face.
23
Carter
In the two days since Alec left, I’d managed to burn everything I touched in the kitchen, drive St. Anon crazy, drive Muddy crazy, convince Cannon that I’d lost my mind, and become an all-around psycho lunatic. Thank god Jellybean was out of town.
I’d knocked Chelsie’s lights out. She’d been so embarrassed to wake up and find herself flat on her back in the dirt in front of Charlie’s that she’d hightailed it out of town without pressing charges.
The joke was on me though, because Sheriff Rivers still made me spend a couple hours in a holding cell to calm down, and Chelsie probably ran right home and tried on the blue lace undies for Alec.
That mental image haunted me.
Muddy wouldn’t let me work in the kitchen anymore. I was put on cleaning duty until I could get over my baking slump which was back in full force. I hated cleaning duty. It made Alec’s betrayal sting just that much worse.
At the weekly St. Anon meeting, I was teased for being too negative. They were joking, but it still hit me where it hurt. I couldn’t stop. I was a bristling lump of sorrow and anger. Betrayal sucked. I swayed back and forth between emotions so much that my head hurt constantly.
I couldn’t believe I’d been stupid enough to start to think about a future with my mate, only for him to up and take off on me. I wanted to punch his lights out. The worst part was that I couldn’t stop hoping that maybe it was all a mistake and that he’d return to me soon. How pitiful.
If he did return, I sure as shit wouldn’t take him back!
I couldn’t eat, mainly because everything I made tasted like my own personal version of hell. I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Chelsie in that fucking blue lace lingerie. I was so exhausted, and hungry, that I couldn’t even shift.
Wolf Boss (She-Shifters of Hell's Corner Book 1) Page 9
