You’re fooling yourself.
What I was more than likely seeing was a woman bracing for the blow she thought I was about to deliver. She thought I was about to tear her world down in front of all these people.
I deserved that mistrust after what I’d done, but it stung all the same.
I gritted my teeth, ignored the conflicting thoughts flying around my head, and waited.
It only took fifteen minutes for her to find an excuse to seek me out. I thought it might have taken her longer with all the people surrounding her, but here she came, expression blank. I curled my hands into fists, palms itching with the need to touch her again.
People stopped her as she made her way toward me, congratulating her. She smiled tightly and nodded but didn’t stop.
My gaze moved over her, eating her up hungrily. God, I missed her, felt starved of her. Seeing her and having her eyes on me was life-giving. Pure oxygen. The way her hips swayed, the way the silky fabric of the dress she was wearing strained against her breasts—the woman made my heart pound.
She reached my side, her eyes meeting mine, but she didn’t stop. She kept walking, silently asking me to follow.
I did, trailing her from the large living area and down a hall to another staircase. She carried on up without looking back and pushed open a door to a bedroom when we reached the next level. She walked through to a set of doors and opened them, leading me out to a small private balcony.
I followed, cool night air hitting me. It did nothing to cool the heat burning and prickling my skin. After shutting the doors behind me, I leaned against the glass and waited.
Her hands went to the railing, her back to me, her profile to the side. The breeze ruffled her hair, messing up the perfect style. I preferred it that way.
I preferred it spread on my pillow.
Moving up behind her, I crowded her smaller frame, hands going to the railing either side of her but didn’t touch her. “Well, Cassandra?” I said, purposely using her full name, my heart pounding in my chest.
She spun to face me. “Don’t call me that,” she whispered, so quiet her words were snatched by the breeze, but I heard them.
The first time she came into my shop she said the same thing, only it was Cassy she didn’t like. Her big blue eyes were looking up at me, filled with hurt and sadness and fear. Shit, I had to fight the urge to reach out and touch her, to soothe that look in her eyes. Fuck, I needed to rub the pain building in the middle of my own chest just looking at her.
Not fake. Not a lie.
My gut, the fucking clawing in the center of my chest was screaming that I was seeing the real Cassy. I gritted my teeth as her scent invaded my head, as images flashed through my mind of her looking down at the design I’d drawn for her ink, the tear sliding down her cheek, the way she’d looked in my bed, the smiles, the warmth she’d given me.
She’s engaged to someone else, asshole.
It didn’t matter what I thought I saw. There was another man’s diamond on Cassy’s finger.
Her breathing had quickened, color high, and, shit, her nipples were hard little peaks against the silk of her dress. She was turned on. She still wanted me.
I’d expected anger from her when she led me out here. I deserved it. I hadn’t let myself hope for anything else.
“You still want me…don’t you, Princess?” There was a rawness to my voice I had no control over, and she flinched. “You’re good, I’ll give you that. You have everyone down there fooled”—I took her chin between my thumb and finger, tilting her head back—“but you can’t fake away how hot you still are for me, can you, Cassandra?”
She didn’t pull away, or shove me off. She met my eyes, a desperate need in them that made me fucking dizzy with hope.
I searched those blue eyes, but I couldn’t read her.
“You’re wrong,” she said finally. “About what’s going on here.”
God, I wanted that to be true. “Enlighten me,” I bit out.
“Yes, I agreed to marry Spencer—”
I growled hearing his name on her tongue. I couldn’t stop myself.
She licked her lips, and the strength needed to stop myself from leaning in and doing the same to that perfect mouth was immense.
“I agreed to marry him to save my father from financial ruin. I don’t love him. I have never loved him. In fact, I despise him.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I thought you and I…I thought…then I found those newspaper clippings.” She shook her head and several strands of pale blond hair came loose, drifting around her face with the breeze. “There was no reason for me to fight it, to refuse.”
Now it was my turn to jolt.
Her fingers curled around my forearm and I sucked in a sharp breath through my nose.
“It’s true.”
“No one would do that. No one would sacrifice themselves like that, not even for family,” I said and pulled away, striding to the other end of the balcony, heart in my throat.
“Are you telling me you wouldn’t for Dane, for Bull?”
“It’s not the same—”
“I owe my father,” she whispered. “I owe him a life.”
I froze. “What?”
“I knew Chris was using drugs, I knew he was getting into trouble, and I kept it to myself. I thought I could help him…save him. Because of me the opposite happened.”
I stood there, every muscle rock solid, stunned.
“The night I came to you, the first night you…touched me, my father told me his plan for me, that he wanted me to marry Spencer.”
Christ, when she’d gotten drunk and I’d brought her back to my apartment, she’d mentioned Spencer, had said he and her father had some “messed-up plan” but refused to talk about it.
She took a step toward me. “I came to you because you…you made me feel alive, Cal. You make me feel more like the me I’ve kept hidden my whole life, the me I want to be.”
My heart was slamming against the back of my ribs.
“Cal…Joel?”
My whole body rocked back at the sound of my name on her lips, a full-body shudder moving through me. She was telling the truth; of course she was. There was no missing it, no denying the truth of it in her gorgeous fucking eyes, not anymore.
I closed the distance between us, curling my fingers around the side of her delicate neck. “I’m so sorry, baby. I fucked up…I…” I shook my head.
“What my father did to you—”
“I was wrong, so fucking wrong. Hurting you, I didn’t think…I don’t want that, can’t fucking bear the thought of it—”
“I don’t blame you for despising us.” She shook her head. “I don’t. If I’d spoken up, if I’d told my father the truth, none of this would have happened. Chris would still be here. Bull wouldn’t have gone to prison, and Dane would never have been taken away.”
“What happened to Chris, that was not your fault, Princess.”
A tear slid down her smooth skin, sparkling in the moonlight like liquid diamonds. “I wish that were true.”
“Cassy, fuck…”
“I don’t know what to do.” She held my stare. “My grandmother is sick. This ranch is everything to her. I thought we’d lose her when my father sold some of the land to Spencer’s father, she was so heartbroken. Losing this place, it would kill her.” She shook her head. “I’ve tried to come up with a way out of this…I’ve tried, but there isn’t one. I’m stuck. I just…I need more time. To find a way out…an investor…”
“Cassandra?” A voice echoed from beyond the bedroom. “Cassandra!”
Her eyes widened, lips parting like the air had been punched from her lungs. “It’s Spencer. Please, just…I need to get through tonight. Maybe there’s still a way out of this. But first I just have to get through tonight.”
I gritted my teeth, fighting with myself to stop from walking back inside and using Spencer’s fucking smug face as a punching bag.
A door opened and closed.
“I have to go,” she said, eyes pleading with me to keep my mouth shut as she rushed past me and back inside. I stayed where I was as I heard her greet her fiancé, listened while she lied about why she was out here, and then I heard them leave.
I walked back inside and stared at the door they’d just gone through. Jesus, she truly believed Chris’s death was her fault.
I’d been too hurt to let myself see the truth.
Cassy.
My Cassy.
Chris killed Chris, and I needed to make her believe it. And I would.
There was no fucking way I was letting her go through with this.
I loved her. I loved her so fucking much the thought of her being with anyone else made me lose my mind.
I didn’t know if she felt the same for me. But whether she wanted me at the end of this or not, I would not let her fuck up her life like this.
I would not stand by and let her sacrifice herself for her family.
* * *
I found Lyall at the edge of the room, stiff back, hands at his sides, fingers twitching. His eyes were on Spencer, who was leading Cassy around the room like he’d won the fucking lottery, his hand on her hip. I wanted to tear that hand off and shove it down his neck. Lyall didn’t look as though he was happy about it either. That look of distaste on his face gave me hope that he might be open to my proposal, even if it was coming from me.
I just hoped like hell his love for his daughter outweighed his hate for me.
I strode up and stood beside him. “Nice party.”
Lyall turned to me, a forced smile on his face that quickly vanished as soon as he got a look at who was within punching distance. “What the hell are you doing here?” He started looking around the room frantically, no doubt to find someone capable of throwing me out.
“I wouldn’t if I were you,” I said calmly. “Not if you don’t want a scene.”
“What do you want?” he bit out.
“Business,” I said. “Why don’t we talk in your office?”
Lyall nodded at someone who was looking our way, that false smile back in place. “Follow me.”
His office was what you’d expect. Lots of leather, big oversized desk to compensate for…a lot of things, I would imagine. Paintings of Cassy and Chris were on the wall, his perfect golden-haired children—at least that’s how he wanted it to appear to the rest of the world.
“What is it you want?” Lyall said into the silence, voice cold, getting straight to the point.
“I don’t want anything,” I said, pleased as fuck when I managed to get out the words without a pause or a stutter.
“Because if you think I owe you something, if you think you can come here begging for money—”
“Don’t need your money, Lyall. The way I hear it, it’s you that needs bailing out.” I had all that money from Harvey just sitting there, more than I knew what to do with, and until then I’d never had a reason to use it.
His spine straightened. “Whoever told you that is a damned liar.”
“You calling Cassy a liar? The daughter you’re forcing into a loveless marriage with that…fucking asshole out there to save your own ass.”
“What are you doing talking to my daughter?” he said, face flushing.
“I’m the least of your worries, Lyall. I would never hurt your daughter. Spencer, on the other hand…” I shook my head. “She’s doing this for you out of guilt. She blames herself for Chris’s death, when you and I both know Chris was in self-destruct mode long before he met me.”
Guilt was clear on the other man’s face, and suddenly he looked ancient. “She could learn to love him.”
“Even you don’t believe that bullshit,” I growled.
“What would you have me do? Lose everything. The roof over our heads—”
“You’d rather lose your daughter?” I said.
The guy’s eyes darted around the room like a cornered rodent.
“I have money, a lot of it. I can get you and Cassy out of this situation. No one needs to know, not even her. I’ll invest in the ranch, in Cassy’s breeding program. I’ll pay off your debtors, a fucking interest-free loan until you can pay me back.”
Lyall paled. “I won’t take money from you.”
“You don’t take this money, you’ll lose your daughter, because whatever love she has left for you will turn into resentment and eventually hate, and you’d deserve it.”
He was shaking his head, fury burning his face. “How dare you presume to know my relationship with my daughter? You know nothing about any of us.”
“I know a fuck of a lot more than you think. I know that Cassy is the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out, and you’re blind to it. So twisted in your own guilt, your failure in business, and with Chris that you’ve missed what is right in front of you.”
“Leave,” Lyall bit out, heading for the door. “Get the hell out of my office and my home.”
I followed him out. No fucking way was I taking no for an answer.
We hit the main room where the party was being held.
The drone of chatter had come to a halt, the room silent, and as I walked farther into the room after Lyall I saw why.
Cassy and Spencer were on a raised area at the front of the room. Cassy stood stiff at Spencer’s side. His arm was draped over her shoulders, and she looked miserable.
“Look at her,” I said to Lyall. “Stop this. I don’t want anything but Cassy to be happy. Can you say the same for Spencer?”
Spencer was smiling wide as he pulled Cassy in closer to his side.
Lyall looked sick to his stomach.
“Thank you all for coming tonight to celebrate with us. We’re both so thrilled to have you all here.” Spencer glanced down at Cassy. “What you don’t know, what no one knows, is that tonight we’re not just celebrating our engagement but our marriage as well.”
What the fuck?
Cassy’s head twisted to look up at Spencer, and I could see her try to pull away. The fucker held her tighter. She spun back to the crowd, her gaze searching then landing on mine.
“That’s right, sweetheart. Tonight we’re getting married. Surprise!” he said.
Fuck this shit, I was done. I took a step toward them, but Lyall put a hand on my shoulder, stopping me.
I snarled. But then I got a look at the guy, looked into his eyes and saw something I never thought I would. Regret.
Then he was moving toward his daughter.
Cassy
I shook my head, again trying to pull from Spencer’s hold. This couldn’t be happening. I turned to look at my father who had just stepped up beside me, and going by the look on his face, how pale he was, he didn’t know either.
It was almost like he actually cared.
He’d been avoiding me all evening, not wanting to face what he’d done.
I twisted back to the smiling crowd still clapping at Spencer’s announcement. My grandmother was frowning, looking concerned. She started moving toward me. My gaze found Cal’s again and I bit my lip as tears filled my eyes.
A warm soft hand took mine. I glanced down. Gran stood beside me.
She gave Spencer a tight smile. “A moment with my granddaughter.”
Spencer dipped his chin but didn’t let me go.
“I loved your grandfather more than anything,” she said for my ears only. “And, sweetheart, nothing—nothing—is worth giving up on love for, real love.” She patted her hand. “Promise me you’ll never forget that.”
“Promise,” I whispered. There was no way I was marrying Spencer today or any day.
My gran would never want me to be with someone I didn’t love, and I was in love with Cal. I wasn’t going to stand here and marry a man I despised for anything or anyone.
Cal started moving through the crowd toward me, a look of determination on his face. I shook my head, silently asking him to stay back. He stopped, but the muscle in his jaw was jumping, eyes darkening with anger, with hurt.
&nbs
p; He thought I was going to go through with it.
I shoved Spencer’s hand from around my waist and stepped away from him. He grabbed for me, and I felt his fingers curl around the shawl I was wearing over my shoulders to cover my scars and the almost finished tattoo Cal had decorated my skin with. My first instinct was to grab it, to keep myself covered, but I realized I didn’t care what these people thought, what anyone thought. The only person I wanted to protect from hurt tonight was Cal.
So I released my grip on the silky fabric and took another step away from Spencer and my father.
I heard a gasp behind me. I didn’t know which of them it was, and as I turned, the crowd surrounding us went silent. The lower half of my tattoo wasn’t finished, but the upper part of my back and shoulder were fully done. It was beautiful. Cal had made me feel beautiful, and I wanted him to know that he’d done that for me.
I turned back to him, a smile I couldn’t contain curling my lips when our stares locked and I saw the pride, the heat, so much more in his dark eyes. My heart filled to the point of bursting.
“Cover yourself,” Spencer hissed, trying to drape my shawl over my shoulders.
I was about to shove him away when my father stepped forward and grabbed Spencer’s hand. He shook his head. “Don’t touch her.”
“What the hell are you doing?” Spencer said, fury in his voice.
“I won’t be needing your assistance after all. I’ve found another investor,” he said to Spencer. “Someone who doesn’t enjoy blackmail quite as much as you.” He turned to me. “I’m so sorry, Cassandra, for asking this of you. I never thought it would get this far. How will you ever forgive me?”
Spencer looked furious. My father was staring at me, waiting for a reply. I turned away from them both. I couldn’t deal with my father right then.
I stepped off the small stage and the crowd parted as I moved through them. Cal hadn’t moved, his eyes on me as I walked toward him and stopped in front of him.
Beg For You: Rocktown Ink, Book One Page 17
