3
Head over Heel
Piper wrung the water out of her cowgirl costume in the tiny Dachshund Rescue Center bathroom. Her hair still dripped from the rain, but at least she was wearing her friend’s warm yoga pants and a one hundred percent tassel-free sweatshirt. Tying back her hair, she completed her de-slutting transformation and sighed.
The walk to the center had been a long one, especially after giving a statement to the cops and calling her boss at the taxi company so he could fire her—she didn’t see the point in showing up in person since she had no taxi to return, or a change of clothes, for that matter. And no matter what Dominic said, she didn’t think the cowgirl costume would have saved her job.
To top it all off, when she’d said good-bye to Aiden Caldwell he’d given her a handshake. A handshake. Not that she expected something else, or anything … or wanted anything for that matter. Because that would have been silly. They’d just met. And he was totally not her type. But a handshake? Ouch. Maybe she wasn’t his type. Double ouch. Then again, it didn’t matter because she didn’t care. Right?
Before she could replay the scene in her head yet again, she stepped out of the bathroom and into the reception room. “That feels much better,” she said.
Her friend Addison sat on the back counter feeding the goldfish, since she was too short to reach from the floor. Sprinkling food over the water, she assessed Piper’s new look.
“Looks good. Maybe people won’t throw coins at you now like you’re turning tricks.”
“One guy. It was one guy on the walk here.” Piper leaned against the counter and watched the fish dart around the rectangular tank gobbling up the bits of food. “The ladies are hungry today.”
Since they were veiltail goldfish, Piper thought they looked like elegant ladies with their orange and white chiffon ball gowns floating behind them. The image fit since they belonged to the older Englishwoman, Marilyn, who managed the rescue center. She was rather stately herself. Or perhaps her posh accent gave that impression. That and the fact that the only other English people Piper knew were the stereotypes found in movies.
Zoe strolled out of the little kitchen carrying a jug sloshing with water. When she noticed Piper had changed, she gave her a wink. “Lookin’ good, Pipe.”
“Thanks for coming in to cover for me while I talked to the cops,” Piper said. “And, more important, thanks for bringing the clothes. I didn’t feel like cleaning out dog enclosures in my soaking wet telegram costume.”
“No problem,” Zoe said, watering the peace lily on the desk. “That’s the nice thing about running your own business. When you want a day off, you get to tell the boss to shove it.”
Piper picked up the tiny pieces of her cowgirl costume from the bathroom floor. Since they were at the center, Colin thought it was time to play and started chewing on the tassels, yanking the shirt from her grip in a game of tug-of-war.
“Colin, no.” She swiped the costume out of his reach and balled it up. “Out of all the jobs I lost today, why did I have to keep the one with the worst uniform?”
“That’s true,” Zoe said. “But I’m sure it was exactly what that hot businessman wanted to see you in. Not a greasy pizza delivery uniform.”
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter what Aiden Caldwell wants.” Piper chucked the leather and tassels into a plastic bag to take home. “Because I won’t be seeing him again.” Not that she had a choice in the matter. Not that she cared, she added to herself.
Addison slid off the counter. “So that was it? You guys talked to the cops and left? You didn’t exchange numbers with this guy?”
“What for? I sexually assaulted and embarrassed him in front of his employees, I lost not one, but two, jobs, proving myself to be a complete and utter flake, and he watched me lose the car. A whole car. Not to mention his briefcase. All the while, dressed like a Western porn star. Why would that man ever want to see me again?”
Zoe stopped watering the ficus and stared at her like “duh.” “Because you were dressed like a Western porn star?”
“It’s only sexual assault if he didn’t want it,” Addison said with a devilish grin. “I mean, he did follow you out of the office to talk to you. Maybe because he liked you.”
“Maybe because he wanted more.” Zoe leaned on the desk, eager for gossip as always. “Was it any good? I mean, did you get a good feel?” She made suggestive squeezing motions with her hands.
Piper swiped away Zoe’s rude gesture, giggling. “You two are unbelievable. Besides, the man is, I dunno, too rich, too privileged. What would I ever have in common with him?”
She thought about her brother, Ethan, and how little she had in common with him ever since he’d “made something of himself”—more like made an ass of himself, she thought. For all she knew Aiden was just like him, with his designer suits and handshakes. Hell, Aiden probably drove a BMW like Ethan.
Addison shook her finger. “You sound like Elizabeth Bennet.”
Piper’s forehead wrinkled. “Who?”
“You know, from Pride and Prejudice. Through the whole movie, she refuses to see how perfect Mr. Darcy is for her because she’s too proud.” Addison tapped her chin, thinking. “Or is she prejudiced?”
“Proud? What the heck do I have to be proud of?” Piper opened one of the cupboards and grabbed a few dog brushes. She tossed one each to Addison and Zoe. “Today wasn’t exactly my shining moment, you know.”
Not hearing a word she said, Addison clapped her hands and exhaled dreamily, already planning their wedding in her head. “He’s your Mr. Darcy.”
Rolling her eyes, Piper yanked open the door to the back room. The chorus of hellos was overwhelming. At least, it sounded like “Hello” to Piper since all the dogs perked up and pressed their wet noses to their kennel doors, tails wagging.
Most of their four-legged friends were, of course, dachshunds. Marilyn, the manager, was passionate about taking in stray and sick doxies. But any dog lover knows that you can’t pick just one breed. It would be like saying you only liked caramel salted milk chocolate or dark chocolate cherry truffles. Sure, you had your favorite. But chocolate was chocolate. There was something to appreciate about every different kind.
Colin strode down the long passageway lined with enclosures, strutting ahead of the three volunteers like they were his entourage. The enclosures were stacked two high, large enough for your average dog to walk around in, but for the bigger breeds there were more sizable pens in the back. The corridor ended at a T-intersection. More kennels lined the way to the outdoor courtyard on one end, and on the other was the makeshift examining room.
It was nowhere near as well equipped as a vet’s office, but the metal table did the trick when a dog needed an inspection. For anything serious—broken bones, kennel cough, heart issues—they took the dog to a real vet. Who charged real money. Heck, one time they paid for Picasso, a doxie with intervertebral disk disease, to have surgery. Marilyn took him home for months of rehabilitation. Needless to say, he was living with her permanently now, since she couldn’t part ways once he had healed.
That was why the center was one of the poorest in town. Marilyn and her volunteers elected to treat more of the “hopeless” cases, where other shelters decided to euthanize. They would pull dogs off the euthanasia list and do their best to nurse the little fur balls back to health. At the Dachshund Rescue Center, the dreaded E word was reserved for the absolute last resort, if the dog was terminally ill and suffering. The volunteers stockpiled tissues for those days.
Piper clenched the brush in her hand until the handle cracked. She turned her back on the door. She knew it would be part of her job one day as a veterinarian, but that was why it was so important to become a vet, to educate people, to give a voice to the animals, so that they could live long, happy lives in the best health possible.
She made her way to the end of the hall. When a longhaired red dachshund came into view, Colin shot across the room to the kennel door like a bla
ck torpedo, toenails skittering along the cement floor. He began pawing at the door and Piper laughed.
Reaching down, she unlatched the enclosure. “Hi, Sophie.”
She barely got it open before the two doxies were all over each other, gnawing on ears and necks.
“Come on, you two. It’s been twenty-four hours and you act like you haven’t seen each other in a month.”
“It’s lov-v-ve.” Addison drew out the word like it was a warm gooey thing. “It’s like when you meet a guy and no matter how often you see each other, or text, or phone, you can’t wait to see him again.”
“That’s not love,” Zoe said. “That’s infatuation. And the best way to get over him is to get under him.”
“Zoe,” Addison chided her.
“It’s true.” She shrugged. “Get it over with and move on. I’m a busy woman. I don’t like to waste my time.”
Piper saw Addison’s bangs shift as she blew out a breath, but she didn’t bother arguing with Zoe’s logic. Addison’s idealistic views on romance were practically Disney trademarked, so she and Zoe rarely agreed on the subject of relationships. Or Zoe’s lack thereof. The most intimate relationship she had was with her vibrators. And since she sold tasteful sex toys with her side business, Pure Pleasure Parties, she had plenty to choose from.
Piper thought Addison was right, though. The doxies were crazy in love—even if they couldn’t consummate the relationship since they were both fixed. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand it, but she supposed they had a deeper connection. A spiritual one.
Trying to separate the two, Piper began to brush Sophie while Colin chomped on the handle like a chew toy. Zoe watched on, laughing, but she had her own hands full with a horny German shepherd who wanted to hump her leg more than he wanted grooming.
“Whoa, Toby. Heel,” she said. “You’re a little hairy for my taste.” But Toby couldn’t hear her over his lust. Out of the three girls, he preferred Zoe with her long, lean legs, since there was so much more to hump.
Addison opened the kennel of a chocolate dachshund and scooped him out. His short, dappled fur was patchy and missing on his hips, shoulders, and elbows, the skin dry and cracked.
“What happened to you?” she asked him.
“That one came in last week,” Zoe told her. “Marilyn said the last owner kept him in the garage. Nowhere to sleep but the cement floor.”
“Poor thing. Don’t worry. You’ve got a comfy bed here.” Addison held him in her lap and combed his fur, careful of the calloused spots. “So, Pipe. What are you going to do now that you’ve lost two of your jobs?”
“I don’t know. They were both great because they were flexible. Plus there were the tips. You know, when I wasn’t late. But I’m sure I’ll find something”—she frowned—“before my landlord kicks me out, and the bank repossesses my car because I default on my loan, and the university kicks me out of the veterinary program.…”
She tossed the brush aside and watched Sophie and Colin fight over it. “School ends in a couple of weeks. I could have had a job as a veterinarian by the end of the summer. I only needed to stick it out a little longer.”
“I’d hire you at my dog spa if I could afford the extra help,” Addison said, “but as it is, I’m still getting my feet under me.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure something will come up.” She took a deep breath, her shoulders kicking back, chin rising automatically. “I’ll be fine,” she told them. “Just fine.”
Zoe shook Toby off her leg again. “Well, when you can’t pay rent and get kicked out of your apartment, you can come stay with me.”
“Gee, thanks.”
The bell above the reception door jingled, and the light tinkle carried into the back, announcing a customer.
All around, the dogs danced in their enclosures, barking, Who’s there? Who’s there?
Piper gave up trying to wrestle the brush away from the doxies and stood up. “I’ll see who’s at the front.”
Zoe dislodged her leg from Toby’s enthusiastic grip. “We’ll start getting some of these guys outside for playtime.”
“Coming!” Piper called out.
When she reached the entry to the reception room, she peered through the window set into the door. Then she spotted the person waiting at the counter. Gasping, she ducked down and out of sight.
Addison returned to let more dogs out of their kennels and spotted her cowering. “What’s wrong?” she called.
“It’s him,” Piper hissed.
“Him who?”
“The him I gave an accidental lap dance to.”
“Really?” Addison’s eyes widened. She skipped over to peek through the window. “Oo-o-oh, he’s cute.”
“What are you looking at?” Zoe called from the other end of the kennels.
“Aiden Caldwell,” Addison stage-whispered over the barking. “Come check him out.”
Zoe was a whole foot taller than Addison, and when Piper joined the two of them in the Aiden oglefest she had to peek over Addison’s blond locks. They shuffled until all three of them had their noses pressed to the glass to get a better look, their breath steaming up the view—not that it wasn’t already steamy enough.
While he waited, Aiden perused the message board cluttered with missing dog flyers, trying to pat down his windblown hair. Piper noticed he’d exchanged his stained shirt for a clean one since she last saw him.
“That is not how I imagined him,” Zoe said. “He’s not just hot. He’s like cook the panties right off a girl hot.”
“No,” Addison breathed. “He’s like Henry Cavill meets Chris Evans hot.”
“Who?” Zoe asked.
“Superman and Captain America.” She shrugged. “There was a superhero movie marathon on TV last weekend.”
“He’s like I wanna make babies with him just to see what they would look like hot.”
“Oh, your babies would look amazing,” Addison said. “With your Japanese background and that guy’s jawline, it would be like winning the genetic lottery.”
Piper’s mouth popped open. “This coming from the girl who would rather commit to her vibrator for the rest of her life than a man?”
Zoe gestured to the front. “For him, I’d reconsider my silicone matrimonial plans.”
“I know.” Piper groaned, banging her head on the doorframe. “Which makes the whole thing all the more embarrassing.”
“Piper, listen to me.” Addison gripped her by the shoulders. “He’s obviously here to see you.”
“But how? I never told him I volunteered here. More important, after everything that happened, why?”
“It couldn’t have been that bad, because the guy has somehow tracked you down and came here despite everything that went wrong. So get over it and get out there.”
“You’re right. He’s just a guy,” she said to psych herself up. “A totally average guy who maybe, quite possibly, might be into me.”
Zoe caressed the glass with a manicured nail. “Yeah. A mega-hot, superrich, I’d give up coffee for the rest of my life to have one night with him guy.”
“Not helping, Zoe.”
Aiden dinged the bell on the counter to get service. At the thought of facing him again, the events of her afternoon flashed through Piper’s mind. The lap dance, the taxi, the handshake.
“I can’t do it,” she said. “Come on, Addison. You gotta go out there for me.”
“Nope. It’s your turn. Besides”—she started to back away, a playful smile on her lips—“I think I hear Sophie whining outside.”
“No. Don’t leave me.” Piper reached for Addison, but she twirled away. Piper wheeled on her other friend. “Zoe. Look. You already admitted it. He could be the one for you. That could be your future husband out there.”
Zoe narrowed her eyes. “Pony up, cowgirl.” She gave her a wink before slipping out back.
Piper hesitated at the door a moment longer, remembering how he’d turned all professional executive on her in front of th
e cops. How he shook her hand like they were concluding a business meeting. She’d figured that was that.
So … what was he doing at the center?
Light footsteps tapped up the corridor behind her. She thought maybe one of the girls had come back to rescue her from reliving the humiliation. Relieved, she turned around, arms open wide to hug her savior. But all she saw was fur, teeth, and paws coming at her like a tsunami.
It hit her hard. She screamed as she was bowled over, her back smacking the door. It swung open under the weight of her and the attacker, and she fell on her butt, whacking her elbow.
With a grunt, she sprawled out across the reception floor, staring up at the water-stained ceiling tiles. At first she thought her body shook from fright. It took her a moment before she realized what the gyration really was.
Toby was humping her leg, going to town like she was a Siberian husky show dog. Right in front of Aiden.
4
Pooch Proposal
“Toby, no!” Piper yelled. “Get off. Stop.”
She squirmed away, trying to push the lecherous dog off her thigh with her other foot. But the canine had been deprived for a while, and the movement only encouraged him.
Aiden circled around the desk, chuckling. “Whoa, boy. I think that’s enough action for you.” Grabbing him by the scruff, Aiden managed to pry the horny beast off Piper. “You should at least buy the lady dinner first.”
Reaching down, he helped Piper up. While she brushed herself off, he held the German shepherd back. Her cheeks burned, but she forced herself to meet Aiden’s eyes.
The second he saw her, he started. It was a good start, though. Like when you discover Bellinis are on special—and you’re not the DD for the night.
“It’s you,” he said like he didn’t believe it.
“It’s me.” Getting humped by a dog, she added to herself. She sure knew how to make an entrance.
And the humiliation marathon continued.
“I almost didn’t recognize you.” Aiden hesitated. “You know, in clothes.”
Must Love Wieners Page 3
