‘So you came back to Penhally hoping to find me unhappily married, or divorced, so you could become involved with me again?’ she said, outrage plain in her voice, and he swore under his breath.
Hell, was he never going to be able to find the right words to say to her? Was he doomed always to screw things up, and he was screwing things up, big time, because he see her barriers going up, and he couldn’t lose her a second time, simply couldn’t.
‘It wasn’t like that,’ he said vehemently. ‘I thought…’ He grasped her hands before she could draw back, and held onto them. ‘Part of me hoped to find you happily married because I thought—if you were—I might finally be able to move on, to bury the dream I had of somehow undoing the mistake I’d made, and the other part…I thought if you were still single that maybe…you and I…maybe we could try again.’
Her eyes met his, and he could read nothing of what she was thinking in them, and then she cleared her throat.
‘Tom, have you thought that what you’ve been wanting back for all these years isn’t me, but your youth and your dreams, and I can’t give you that. No one can.’
‘You said that to me before,’ he said, willing her to see the truth in his eyes, ‘but it isn’t that, I know it isn’t. Since we parted there’s never been anybody in my life like you. There have been other women—I won’t deny that—but it was always you. Nobody ever came anywhere close to you.’
Gently, she slipped her hands free from his.
‘Even if I believed that, Tom,’ she murmured. ‘Even if what you say is true, we can’t go back. You know we can’t.’
‘Why not?’ he said.
It was a good question and one Eve wasn’t entirely sure she could answer. She knew nobody had ever touched her heart the way he had, but she also knew no one had ever hurt her quite so much either, and to go down that road again, risk everything again…
‘Tom, we’re not the same people any more, and our worlds—they’re too different, too far apart.’
‘Then I’ll give up working for Deltaron, and come back to Penhally,’he said. ‘I’m getting too old to be traipsing around the world anyway, and after what happened last year in India—’
‘And what would you do in Penhally?’ she interrupted. ‘This afternoon must have proved to you beyond a shadow of a doubt you’ll never make a country GP, and Penhally…There are too many bad memories for you here. You’d never feel you belonged.’
‘Then you could come to London with me,’he declared. ‘Or there’s my flat in Lausanne. You’d love Switzerland, Eve. It’s a beautiful country, and if you wanted to continue nursing you’d easily find work there.’
He looked so desperate, so anxious, and she didn’t want to hurt him, but she knew she must.
‘Tom, my home is here,’ she said. ‘And to uproot myself from everything I know, from everyone I know on the strength of…’
‘A whim?’ he finished for her. ‘It’s not a whim, Eve, it’s a question of trust. A question of whether you believe me when I say I love you and I always will.’
He made it sound so easy, so simple, but he’d made it sound easy and simple all those years ago, too.
‘Let’s have fun,’ he’d said, and she’d thought they’d get married, raise a family in Penhally, and within a few short months her dreams and hopes had all been left lying shattered in the dust.
‘I can’t, Tom. And you’re assuming too much,’ she continued as he tried to interrupt. ‘Assuming I still feel the same way about you.’
He reached out and gently cupped her cheek with his hand.
‘Don’t you?’
His eyes were deep and green and dark, and she shivered at the intensity she could see in them and, when he traced her neck with the fingers of his other hand, she shivered even more.
‘It’s still there, isn’t it?’ he continued, his voice suddenly deep, husky. ‘What you used to feel for me, it’s still there?’
‘No,’ she said, trying to sound firm but unfortunately her voice wobbled.
‘Then, if I kiss you, you’ll feel nothing?’
He didn’t even need to kiss her, she thought. She could already feel herself melting, responding to him, wanting to touch him, to hold him, but she also knew nothing had been resolved between them, and it never could.
‘Tom…I don’t…I…’
‘I’ll take that as a yes,’ he said, and bent his head towards her, and before she could say anything his lips met hers and she was lost.
Lost on a tide of need and longing. Lost in a sea of old memories, and sensations, and she slid her arms up his back to bring him closer, heard him groan against her mouth as he deepened the kiss, and he threaded his fingers through her hair so she couldn’t escape, and she didn’t want to escape.
‘I have dreamt about doing this for so long,’ he said, his breathing ragged. ‘Wanted it, longed for it, and now you’re here, in my arms, and it’s right, so right.’
It felt right to her, too, as he smothered her face and neck with kisses, and when he slid his hands up under her sweater, and she felt the heat of his fingers through the lace of her bra, she arched against him, feeling her nipples harden instantly. It would be so easy to let go, she thought with a sigh as he drew her closer to him, and she felt his heart beating rapidly against hers, felt a heat begin to spread out deep and low in her stomach. It would be so easy simply to enjoy the moment, and it had been so long since she’d been in a man’s arms, so long since she’d made love, but though her body and her heart spoke loudly, her head spoke louder still.
Nothing has changed, her mind warned, nothing can change. In a few days’ time—probably less—he’ll be gone, and then what? Then you’ll be left with even more regret, even more memories to hurt you. With a sob, she pulled herself free from his arms and stood up.
‘I can’t,’ she cried. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.’
‘Eve—’
‘I’m scared, Tom.’
‘Of me?’ he said in horror, and she shook her head as she wrapped her arms around herself.
‘Of what will happen to me if I let you get close again. I can’t go down that road and have you leave me again. I can’t.’
‘Why would you think I’d leave you?’ he demanded.
‘Because you always do,’ she said, her voice trembling. ‘You make me feel special, and different, and then you leave.’
‘Eve, I love you,’ he protested, reaching for her only to see her back away. ‘I want us to be together for always. Can’t you believe that?’
‘I want to—I truly want to,’ she said, ‘but I can’t risk it—I can’t, Tom.’
‘Eve, listen to me—’
‘No,’ she interrupted. ‘No,’ she repeated. ‘You’ll just talk me round like you always could. Go back to your world, Tom, and I’ll stay in my own little one. I know it’s not an exciting place like yours, and maybe…maybe it’s not always completely fulfilling, but it’s safe. It’s never going to let me down, or walk away from me, and I have to have that kind of certainty, don’t you see?’
‘I can give you certainty,’ he protested. ‘Eve—’
‘No, Tom,’ she said, and before he could stop her she’d fled, and he swore long, and low, and fluently.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘DOES anybody else have anything to add, or can I call this practice meeting to a close?’ Nick said, leaning back in his chair.
‘Has anyone heard anything from the hospital about Melinda?’ Eve asked.
Nick shook his head.
‘Dragan phoned Chloe a couple of hours ago, said he was hoping it wouldn’t be too much longer, but we haven’t heard anything since.’
‘That must be—what?—nineteen hours now?’ Oliver said.
‘It’s not unusual for first babies to take a while to arrive,’ Chloe said calmly. ‘I’m sure there’s no need to worry.’
‘I wouldn’t tell Dragan that.’ Her fiancé grinned. ‘I bet the poor bloke’s got no fingernails left.’
‘I’m surprised Tom had any hair left after he took over Dragan’s surgery yesterday afternoon.’ Kate laughed. ‘I see you didn’t take up his offer to help out this morning, Nick.’
‘I thought he’d suffered enough,’ the senior partner said with a rare smile, ‘though I have to say, with Dragan shortly going on paternity leave, I wish Dr Devereux was arriving sooner.’
‘We’ll manage, boss,’ Oliver declared, and Nick’s smile widened.
‘I’ll hold you to that.’
‘Where is Tom this morning?’ Chloe asked, and to Eve’s dismay all eyes in Nick’s consulting room turned to her.
‘I don’t know,’ she said uncomfortably. ‘He got a call this morning at breakfast, and I haven’t seen him since.’
A breakfast that had been eaten in a strained, awkward silence with neither of them saying anything. A breakfast she’d eaten at breakneck speed, all too aware he was watching her every move.
‘Sorry to interrupt,’ Hazel declared to Eve’s relief as she appeared at Nick’s consulting-room door, ‘but Mrs Banks is here, Eve, and she’d like a word with you.’
‘With me?’ Eve said in surprise.
The practice manager nodded, and Eve glanced across at Nick.
‘I don’t think we have anything else to discuss, do we?’ the senior partner said, and, when everyone shook their heads, he said, ‘you’d better see what she wants, Eve.’
Eve thought she’d better, too, though she couldn’t imagine what Mrs Banks might want to talk to her about unless it was how Sophie was getting on in hospital.
It wasn’t.
‘I simply had to come in and thank you personally, Nurse,’ Mrs Banks declared the minute she sat down in Eve’s examination room. ‘Dr Tremayne told me what you did for my Sophie, how she probably wouldn’t have survived if it hadn’t been for you, and I’ll never forget it.’
‘It’s not me you should be thanking, Mrs Banks,’ Eve replied with a smile. ‘Dr Cornish, and his pilot, Michael Flannery, were the real heroes of the hour.’
‘Yes, but they get paid to rescue people, you don’t,’ Sophie’s mother said dismissively.
Eve stared, open-mouthed, at the woman sitting opposite her, then straightened in her seat.
‘Dr Cornish and Michael Flannery may—as you say—be paid for the job they do,’ she said, fighting to control her mounting anger with difficulty, ‘but there are precious few people in the world who would be willing to put their own lives on the line every time they go into work. It takes a very special man—or woman—to join a rescue service, Mrs Banks.’
‘Granted,’ Sophie’s mother observed, ‘but Dr Cornish…Well, he always was a bit wild, reckless, and as for his father—’
‘I’m afraid you’ll have to excuse me,’ Eve interrupted, getting abruptly to her feet and pointedly walking over to her examination-room door and opening it. ‘I’m on a tight schedule this morning.’
She wasn’t. In truth, she was actually finished for the day, but she knew if she sat in the same room as Mrs Banks for even a minute longer she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions.
‘Oh—of course,’ Mrs Banks declared uncertainly. ‘I know how busy you professionals are, but I felt I couldn’t let another day go past without thanking you.’
Eve wished Sophie’s mother hadn’t said anything at all as the woman left.
How could Mrs Banks be so blinkered, so stupid? she wondered. Tom and Mitch might be paid for their work, but how could that possibly make their actions less courageous, less admirable?
She shook her head as she began gathering up the folders on her desk. And to think this was the village Tom had said he would be prepared to come back and live in. A village where people would never let him forget his origins or his youthful behaviour. He must have been insane.
Or very deeply in love with you, her heart whispered, and she bit her lip.
Part of her desperately wanted to believe he’d meant what he’d said. Part of her wondered if perhaps, this time, they might both be able to get it right, but she knew the part that wondered was her heart. Her heart which had deceived her all those years ago, telling he would change his mind, and stay in Penhally instead of going to the US, so she mustn’t listen to it, she told herself as she picked up the last folder and strode down to Reception to find Amanda Lovelace deep in conversation with their practice manager. This time she had to listen to her head. This time she had to be sensible because if it all went wrong again she knew she would never recover.
‘Hello, there, Amanda,’ she said, forcing a smile to her lips. ‘I hope this isn’t a medical visit?’
‘Not at all,’ Tassie’s mother replied. ‘Hazel loaned me a little portable gas stove to cook on while the electricity was off, and now it’s back on again I thought I’d better return it.’
‘How’s Tassie?’ Eve asked. ‘None the worse, I hope, for her adventure?’
‘She’s fine. And talking about Tassie,’ Amanda continued, steering Eve away from the reception desk, ‘I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much.’
‘For what?’ Eve said in confusion, and Tassie’s mother tapped the side of her nose and winked.
‘You don’t have to pretend, Eve. I have to say I wasn’t very happy when Dr Cornish first suggested it—felt I couldn’t be beholden—and I know he doesn’t want thanks, or for anyone to know—he was most insistent about that—but I had to thank you because I’m guessing you came up with the idea.’
‘Amanda, I don’t know what—’
‘I have to go,’ Tassie’s mother interrupted. ‘I heard on the way down here that there might be a delivery of bread today at the corner shop, and you can bet your life it will all be sold out in ten minutes.’
‘But, Amanda…’
She was too late. After giving her a big hug, Tassie’s mother bustled away, leaving Eve standing in the centre of the waiting room with a puzzled frown. A frown that deepened when Tom strode through the surgery door.
‘Whatever it was, I didn’t do it.’ He grinned as he saw her expression.
‘You obviously did something,’ she observed, ‘because I have just had the weirdest conversation with Amanda Lovelace.’
‘Ah,’ he said.
‘Yes, “ah”.’ She nodded. ‘Care to elaborate?’
‘Nothing to elaborate on,’ he replied lightly but when she saw a tell-tale wash of embarrassed colour begin to creep across his cheeks, she folded her arms across her chest.
‘Tom, you have two choices. Either you tell me what you’ve done, and how it involves Amanda, or I’ll go round to her house this afternoon and ask her myself.’
He sighed, then guided her towards the waiting-room chairs furthest away from the reception desk.
‘You know how you and Gertie are very keen for Tassie to apply for a scholarship to go to the Lady Joan Mercer’s Boarding School in Devon?’ he said.
‘And you’re dead against it,’ Eve replied.
‘Not against it,’ he countered. ‘Just worried about the possible long-term consequences for Tassie and her family. Well, I’ve been making discreet enquiries about Penhally High School, and it seems to be as good a school as it was in our day.’
‘And?’ Eve prompted.
‘I’ve arranged with Mrs Lovelace to pay her a monthly allowance so she can afford to allow Tassie to stay on at the local school for as long as she wants.’
Eve’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly, and she finally found her voice.
‘But…’ She paused and started again. ‘Why would you want to do that?’
‘Why not?’ he countered.
‘Well, for a start, you don’t know Tassie, or her family,’ she pointed out, and he shrugged.
‘No, but I do know you, and if you think the child deserves help, then that’s good enough for me.’
‘But, Tom, have you considered the cost?’ she protested. ‘If Tassie stays on at school until she’s eighteen, you’ll be paying for her education for the n
ext eight years.’
‘A bit longer, probably,’ he said, the colour on his cheeks darkening, ‘because I said I’d keep paying if she wants to go to university. Look, I can afford it,’ he continued as Eve tried to interrupt. ‘It’s no big deal.’
But it was, she thought. It was rather a large deal, and a sudden suspicion crept into her mind.
‘When did you suggest this to Amanda?’ she demanded.
‘Yesterday morning.’ He shot her a cool look. ‘Long before I told you how I feel about you so this is not, in any shape or form, a bribe, Eve.’
In truth, that had been exactly what she’d been thinking, and she felt her cheeks redden.
‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured. ‘I deserved that.’
‘Yes, you did.’
She glanced at him hesitantly.
‘It’s very generous of you, Tom. More than generous, in fact, though I don’t know how you managed to get Amanda to agree. She may not have much money, but she’s a proud woman, and I would have thought she’d have considered it charity.’
‘She did at first,’ Tom admitted, ‘but I talked her round.’
Eve’s lips curved. ‘In other words, you used the famous Tom Cornish charm. Well, I suppose it’s never failed you yet.’
‘Yes, it has,’ he said, a wry smile appearing in his green eyes. ‘With one very important person.’
‘Tom…’
‘I won’t give up, you know.’
She opened her mouth to tell him she wished he would, but she didn’t get the chance to say the words. The surgery door had opened with a bang, and Dragan stood there looking dishevelled, exhausted and absolutely elated.
‘I have a son!’ he exclaimed. ‘I have a beautiful son, and Melinda—she was terrific—much calmer than I was—and I…’ The smile on his face widened. ‘I just had to come and tell you all.’
Hazel let out a shriek of delight, and within seconds every member of the Penhally practice had converged on the waiting room.
Caroline Anderson, Josie Metcalfe, Maggie Kingsley, Margaret McDonagh Page 46
