by Linda Broday
Now he wanted to walk as a free man in the light. To live.
Only it was too late. The killing wouldn’t stop. No one would let him hang up his gun. The minute he did, he was dead.
“Oh, Luke, I haven’t known you long at all, but even I can see the honor inside you.” Rose rested her palm on his chest. “You have a caring heart and more courage than anyone we crossed paths with today. Probably more than anyone I know, but since I don’t know who I know, how can I say that with all honesty?”
“Don’t make me into someone I’m not. I know what I’ve done. And don’t try to save me, Rose.” He jerked to his feet and propped himself against the cave opening, looking out.
Behind him, he heard her slinging things and muttering. When he turned, her face had gone dark with simmering fury.
She planted her hands on her hips. “Don’t, don’t, don’t. That’s all I hear from you. I’ll do and think as I damn well please.”
“You don’t know what I’m capable of.” He tried to keep anger and disgust from his voice but he failed. “What I can be…when the blackness takes over. I can’t stop myself.”
Rose gasped. “Listen to me, Luke Weston. There’s always hope. Hell, things can change in a heartbeat. Each sunrise can hold a brand-new future. You have a family if you don’t throw them away.”
“Stop, Rose. Tomorrow holds no promises, especially not for me.” The pretty lady should get far, far away from the likes of him. He swung around to see her sling a tin cup against the stone wall, her teeth clenched. “Are you ready to turn in?”
Rose blew out a gust of air. “Reckon so. You pay me no more mind than a pesky bull gnat anyway.”
Luke unfolded the bedroll next to the low fire. “Here you go. Sleep well.”
“Where are you going to bed down?”
“I’ll stand guard. Never sleep much any given night anyway.” Grabbing his rifle, he sat down. The leather creaked against his weight as he leaned back against his saddle. The weapon lying across his lap, he stared out into pitch-black so thick he couldn’t make out the horses.
“I feel bad,” Rose said. “I’ll share the damn bedroll. There’s room for both of us.”
Without turning, Luke answered gruffly, “It’s safer this way…and I won’t have to apologize come morn.” Didn’t she realize the temptation? He wouldn’t be able to control himself with her body pressed to his. Bad enough that she lay on the other side of the fire. He glanced her way as she crawled onto the bedroll.
The crazy lady was as prickly as a roll of barbed wire and too smart by half. She should have to wear a sign warning others. She hadn’t hesitated when the lawmen surrounded them. He recalled the feel of her soft lips on his, the minty taste of her mouth too sweet to ignore. He’d been like a man dying of thirst, crawling across a parched desert. Holding her in his arms offered a bit of peace for his ragged soul.
For a second back there today, he’d forgotten a posse of well-armed lawmen had cut off any chance of escape. The ease with which Rose had slipped into the role of seductress told him she’d done it before. Maybe many times.
Who was she?
Luke glanced at the bedroll, her golden hair fanned out like a swath of expensive French silk. Was she really the murderess the posse claimed she was? Or a woman of ill repute? Some rich man’s secret kept pleasure? A genteel wife and mother?
With her ability to cuss like a lumberjack, he quickly ruled out the last. He grinned. Learning the truth about her would be interesting. So many possibilities lay in store.
But what if he discovered she had a life with others? That thought drew a frown.
He had to stop this. Damn it! Of course, she had a life with someone. Everyone did if they let themselves choose it.
Three heartbeats later, he went out to check the horses, something far safer than thinking. Wispy clouds drifted across the fingernail moon like gossamer curtains, and the crisp sage-tinted air bit at him playfully. From a distance came the mournful howl of a coyote, but the darkness whispered no warning here. Luke and the night shared a kinship. He could tell when danger lurked by listening to the sounds around him. All seemed well and the horses were fine.
At least some things were peaceful, if he didn’t look too deep inside himself. Rose had turned him upside down and sideways. He’d never seen a feistier woman or one who amplified more fully the lonely man inside him.
Elena Montoya’s face swam in front of him. His mother would be angry at him for the man he’d become. She’d scrubbed other people’s clothing on a rub board until her fingers bled, for only a few cents a day. Yet she’d taken pride in who she was…and in her boy. Elena had strolled down the street with her head held high, even when her illness made walking difficult.
No matter how bad it got, she’d never stolen. Never said a harsh word about anyone. And no matter how angry she became, she’d never killed. Thank goodness he’d kept much of his life hidden from her. It was the only decent thing he’d ever done.
Luke came quietly back inside and sat down. He reached inside his leather vest for the black book he kept there and flipped it open. Each page held the names of everyone he’d robbed, and the amounts he owed. A good portion of that had gone for supplies, medicines, and clothing for the hunted hunkering down in Deliverance Canyon. But not all.
Some he’d crossed through, one at a time as he repaid the money, but even so, he’d barely made a dent.
Making things right would take a long time at this rate.
And who knew what circumstances lay ahead that might cause him to kill again.
With a troubled sigh, he put the book away and rested his head on the saddle. The fight to stay awake was a struggle and the last time his eyes drifted shut, he couldn’t force them back open.
Slight movement at his shoulder startled him. He drew his Colt before he got his eyes open enough to see.
“It’s only me,” Rose murmured softly. “Sorry to disturb you.”
“Anything wrong?”
“You look cold and I can’t sleep.”
Before he knew what was happening, she threw the bedroll over him and crawled against his side. “Hold me, Luke. Make my fears go away.”
Luke shifted and rasped out a warning. “Don’t care for me, Rose. I’ll break your heart.” Yet despite his warnings, he didn’t have the strength to push her away. After a long moment, he put his arm around her and held her tight.
Her hot anger flashed. “Don’t, don’t, don’t. What about the dos? Or are there any where you’re concerned? I’m sick and tired of you warning me of pitfalls every time you open your mouth. Hell, I might as well be some snot-nosed kid. I’m a grown woman and I’ll do as I want, think as I want, and say what I want.”
“We’re just people passing on the same road, Rose. Nothing more.”
Though she didn’t say anything, he heard a sniffle and felt wetness on his shirt. He didn’t deserve her tears. Couldn’t she see that he lived on borrowed time, that he had nothing left to give? He was as empty as her memories. He smoothed back her hair, pressed his lips to her temple. When dawn came, he’d put some distance between them and don the lonely mantle befitting an outlaw once again. But for now, he’d soak up the feel of her beside him.
And pray the morning came slowly.
“You’re lonelier than I am, Luke Weston,” she said quietly. “You’re filled with pain and misery and regret. For just one night, forget who you are and wipe your memories clean.”
“To forget is futile. This is who I am, so accept it, Rose. You can’t change me.”
“No, but you can. Stop pretending that everything is set in stone. I see what you try so hard to hide. You have a soft, caring heart, and don’t deny it.”
Before he could think of a reply, she lifted her head and leaned toward him. Very softly, she pressed her lips to his. That the kiss was a bit slanted didn’t matter. W
hat did matter was that she gave him a smattering of hope, hope that maybe he could become someone better. And hope that he’d find his way back from this hell he was in.
Their lips locked, he dragged Rose into his lap and clutched her tight. He slipped a hand into her blond hair, then slid down the silky curve of her throat. And lower.
What would it hurt if things went further? No one would ever know.
Hell and be damned! He cursed his conscience.
Luke broke the kiss and settled her back to his side. “We can’t. I have to look at myself in the mirror. It’s not right to take advantage of you and your situation.”
Rose jerked away and blew a silky strand out of her eyes. “Why the hell do you have to be so damned noble? Right here, right now in this cave might be all either of us get.”
Angry, Luke swung to face her. “Hold it right there. Lady, if things were different, if I knew you had no one waiting, I’d take what I want—what we both want—and not waste a second doing it.”
“I know.” Rose let out a sigh and pulled the bedroll around her shoulders. “Damn you, Luke Weston, I wish you weren’t right. I need to feel alive and not something dead and buried. Hell, you’re no better off than me.”
“Maybe so, but at least I’m not blind to reality.”
“Luke, what did you see on my palm when you were staring at it? And don’t tell me nothing. I’m not buying it.”
What was he going to tell her? He couldn’t reveal that her fate line was broken, the same as his. She had enough to deal with. So, he would lie.
“You’re right. I did see something.” He took her palm and pointed. “See this line here?”
“The squiggly one? Does it mean I’m easy?”
“Nope, it indicates a huge trauma in your life. And see this other one running alongside?” Luke allowed a chuckle, hoping she’d buy his explanation. “It says that everything is going to work out. So, you see? It’s nothing bad at all.”
“Then you did only spot riders before?”
“Just like I said.” Luke stared at her hand. It was so delicate, yet the same wasn’t true of her character. She was one tough woman and as mean as a mama lion when she had to be. “Better try to get some sleep.”
“Luke?”
“Yep.”
“I’m glad it was you who came riding by and found me.”
“It’s late, Rose.” He was glad about a good many things. If she hadn’t been with him and planted those hot kisses on him when the posse came, he’d have likely died in a shootout. He’d once witnessed his brother Sam Legend swinging from a tree by the neck. Luke had managed to cut Sam down in time to save him but he’d never forget the sight. He was not going to his death dangling at the end of a rope.
“Do you think we could’ve been happy if you’d found me a long time ago?” Rose lightly touched his jaw.
“Yeah. I think we’d have been happy.”
Thankfully, she lapsed into silence and he soon heard her breathing slow. When he was sure she slept, he lifted a strand of her hair and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger.
Luke gently lowered her to the bedroll. For a long moment, he stared at the beautiful woman. Her dark lashes lay on her high cheekbones like the long fringe of a Spanish shawl.
A strong urge came over him.
He bent and brushed her lips with his.
For a single moment, time stood still and let him find a bit of peace and contentment for his ragged soul.
Six
Luke woke Rose just as the morning crawled out from under a blanket of light fog that clung to the low hills. He poured coffee into a tin cup for her. “Morning.”
She stretched. “I was having the most wonderful dream. I think I’ll go back to sleep and see what happens next.”
He chuckled. “That never works. Want to tell me about it?”
“Nope. That’ll ruin it.” She squirmed from the bedroll and suddenly he couldn’t feel the heat from the steaming cup of brew burning his fingers. Tousled golden hair framed her face and her barely restrained curves spilled from the ruined dress. He’d never seen anyone prettier. She was as far from a tobacco-spitting mule skinner as she could possibly get. Their hands touched as she took the coffee from him. For a split second, a shimmer of light danced around them and a jolt ran through him.
He’d had a similar experience once before and he’d married the lady. Whatever it meant now, though, he damn sure wasn’t about to marry Rose.
Then she smiled and he forgot everything, including his vow just a second ago and his only hours-old determination to put distance between them. Deep hunger spread. He wanted the spitfire in his arms. How did a man fight something he desperately yearned for?
“I’ll put out the fire and be ready to ride by the time you saddle your horse.” Rose’s low voice brought to mind a saloon girl after too much whiskey and smoke. She sipped her coffee and gave him a hesitant smile. “Luke, I shouldn’t have pushed myself on you last night. Shouldn’t have kissed you. It’s just that I needed…a friend. You know?”
He met her gaze and saw the deep sadness. Before he made another mistake, he turned away. “I know. Don’t worry yourself over it. I’ll see to the horses.”
Afraid of what he’d see if he glanced back, he strode into the early morning sunlight. He focused on feeding the horses the remaining grain in his saddlebags, telling Major John to share with the two mounts they’d picked up. By the time he’d gotten the animals ready, Rose strolled toward him with the coffeepot and tin dishes he always carried in his saddlebags.
“I only had time to give these a lick and a promise.” Rose unloaded her hands. “I’ll wash them better the next time we run across some water.”
“There’s a large creek not too far from here.” He stuffed them away and helped Rose onto the black gelding, trying to pretend he hadn’t seen her bare leg up to her knee. Those long, shapely legs that seemed to stretch to her neck were going to get him into trouble.
Oh yeah, lots of trouble.
He swung onto the back of one of the roans, lecturing himself. He needed to keep his thoughts on everyone who either wanted him dead or in jail, and off the woman beside him.
They rode east toward the ridge of barren buttes rising from the desolate plains. Rose chattered about various and sundry subjects, to which Luke only occasionally grunted a reply. He was lost in his thoughts and busy scanning the landscape for trouble. Ten miles down the trail littered with cactus, milk thistle, and broom weed, Luke pulled up at the larger creek. “I’ll fill the canteen and that should get us there.”
“I’ll wash those dishes.” Rose dismounted before he could get around to help.
Disappointment at losing another chance to touch her ran through him. While he admired her independence, he wondered if her eagerness to avoid his touch had anything to do with last night. He was the first to admit he hadn’t handled that well. Hell! The only females he dealt with were saloon girls and ladies of the evening, and they were interested only in the coins in his pocket. Those kind were far safer.
Horses, guns, and outlaws he knew. But the kind of women like Rose seemed to be? Best to stay clear. They wanted far more than a man’s money. They wanted his heart.
“Stop it,” he mumbled to himself. He had to put distance between them as he’d vowed. It was the only way. He had to quit thinking with his body and listen to his damn head.
Luke dug out the coffeepot and dishes and handed them over, then grabbed the canteen and knelt beside the narrow creek.
Rose attacked the dishes with everything she had, splashing water all over her and him both. He scowled. “Do I stink or something? I know I can use a bath but not here.”
Finally, she glared over at him. “You’re acting like a bump on some damned log.”
“Just thinking. That’s what most folks do when they’re not talking.”
“Well, you don’t have to do it so loud,” she grated.
“What are you so all-fired mad about?”
“I don’t know!” She splashed even more water.
He was tempted to dunk her in it to cool her off, except the creek was only five inches deep at most.
“Maybe I’m sore at you. Did you ever think about that?” She threw a clean tin plate onto a patch of grass. “You can’t wait to get rid of me. You’re going to dump me with those women and take off. I doubt I’ll…I’ll ever see you again.” Her voice broke.
Had someone hit her on the head again while she was sleeping? “Rose, you know why I have to ride out once you’re safe. It’s for you.”
She jumped up and paced back and forth. “I may not ever have had one soul who wanted me. For all I know, someone cracked my skull because he wanted to be shed of me and considered it more humane than tying an anvil to my leg and drowning me. Or maybe my father couldn’t stomach having a daughter like me. Or—”
Luke grabbed her and held her tight. “Stop it. This is crazy.”
“I’m scared, Luke. Real scared,” she whispered, clutching onto him.
He put his arms around her. “I wish I could give you back each memory you lost.”
“I suspect it takes a lot to terrify me, but this has shaken me to the core.” She clutched his vest with both fists. “I have nothing to relate to, nothing to call up that’ll ease my mind. Nothing. I’m a nobody with no life before yesterday.”
“It must feel like that now, but you are somebody.” He smoothed the hair from her beautiful face. “We’re partners and we’re going to figure this out. Together.”
