“Go sit with them. I’ll cover the desk,” I interrupted.
He shook his head at my suggestion. “No, no. You’re not working today, Lauren.”
“Kal, I’m fine to cover the desk.” I ushered him out. I knew how important their meetings were; they reviewed the footage from their fights, watched their next opponents’ most recent fights, and worked out their strengths and weaknesses. They had a big fight coming up again soon that they needed to prep for.
I covered the desk until the meeting was over, and then I decided to go to school and pick up the notes from the classes I’d missed. Jamie offered to drive me again during his break. Pulling up at school, I released my seatbelt and turned to thank him for the ride, but before I got the words out, he opened his mouth first. “Let me know when you can, you know….” He nodded toward me. “Had a bit of a dry spell.” He gave me a cheeky wink then bit down enticingly on his bottom lip.
I blushed at the way he was looking at me. “What happened to the one-night stand thing?” I asked, curious to hear his answer.
“Actually, we settled at two, and I would like to renegotiate.” He grinned, making my insides squirm. If he kept looking at me like that, I was going to renegotiate in the back seat of his truck. He could practically have any girl he wanted; he was absurdly gorgeous, and here he was, chasing after me, again. Stitches, black eye, and all. “No hotties back home?” I teased.
“Nah, not my type.” He screwed his sexy face up then drew me into a kiss. Taking his face in my hands, I gently stroked his cheeks, and he closed his eyes in response and sighed quietly. I loved that I could affect him that way. He opened his eyes and slowly started shaking his head. “Don’t get used to this mushy stuff. It’s only because you’re hurt. I’ll be pinning you up against the wall of the bar again soon enough.”
“Jamie, Jamie….” I rubbed his head, laughing at him, and he relaxed back into his chair. While I watched him, the reason why he went home gnawed away at me. He’d completely avoided answering me back at the club, and I wanted to know. “Why did you go back home?” I asked tentatively.
“Am I not allowed to see my family?” He huffed and lay his head back dramatically on the headrest.
Boy, he really didn’t want to talk about it. “Of course you’re allowed to see your family. It’s just that in the two months I’ve known you, you haven’t gone home. Then you come back looking pale, tired, and unshaven. What were you doing? What happened?”
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
My imagination was driving me crazy. Different scenarios were playing out in my mind, and I just wanted him to tell me the truth so I could stop worrying. He wasn’t down there because of Kal, which made me think it was something more serious. “Do you have a girl down there?” I asked, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. I couldn’t handle it if he’d been with someone else. I hoped he’d say no.
He looked at me like it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever suggested. “No. I don’t. Now stop asking questions. I need to go.” He turned to look out of the window again, wanting to escape my interrogation. Something was wrong with him, I could tell, and the fact he wasn’t saying anything only made me more suspicious. I knew he wasn’t my boyfriend and I had no right to ask him these sorts of questions. But I hated that he was keeping something from me.
“I just want to know you’re all right. Please tell me,” I pleaded.
“I’m fucking fine, Lauren. Will you just get out of the damn truck?” he snapped, glaring at me.
I jumped at his sudden outburst before losing my temper back. “How is it you get to grill me on Dad and act like you care, but then when I’m worried about you, you make me feel like I’m sticking my nose in?” I immediately regretted shouting; it made my head throb.
“We’re just friends,” he said through clenched teeth, and his words cut me like a knife. “Screw you!” I got out of his truck, slamming his door hard, then stormed off into school. He could keep his damn secret if it was that big of a deal. Shoving him and his tantrum to the back of my mind, I met with my professors for the next hour and gathered up the notes from the classes I’d missed before making my way out of the building to catch the bus home.
Stepping out of the main doors, I came face-to-face with Jamie. He stood a few yards back, resting against a wall with his arms folded. He straightened, and a small guarded smile pulled up his mouth. I slowly walked over to him.
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just….” He shook his head then ran his hand over it before setting his hands on his hips, looking at me like he was contemplating what my reaction might be.
I didn’t have it in me to stay mad at him, and I decided I wasn’t going to press him anymore about his trip back home. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it, and if he did, he probably would in his own time. “It’s fine. You didn’t have to wait.”
A grin tugged at his lips. “Come home with me?”
He took hold of both my hands and I was instantly suspicious about his intentions for waiting for me. “Is that why you apologized and waited because you’re horny?” I threw him a playfully accusatory look. He was insatiable.
“No. I apologized, because I was a dick to you, again, and I was worried about you getting home while you look like that.” He gestured to my head. He bit his bottom lip and waited intently for my answer like his life depended on it. “Well?”
The thought of being alone with him again made heat flood through my body. I craved his touch, his smell, his taste again. Teasingly, I glanced down to his sweatpants. “Are you wearing underwear underneath those?” I pulled at his waistband teasingly.
“Stop it.” He laughed, dropping my hand.
“Stop what? It’s not like you to be shy,” I teased.
“I’m not shy, far from it. I just don’t want to walk around campus with a hard-on. It’s pretty hard to conceal wearing sweats.”
“Why would you get a hard-on from me asking you that?” I chuckled.
“Because you’re talking about my dick. Now walk, quickly.” He jokingly shoved me in the direction of his truck, and I couldn’t contain my laughter. I was pretty sure some of the girls wouldn’t have minded.
The minute I stepped foot in his house, his mouth attacked me. “Jamie, let me at least take my jacket off,” I said into his mouth, trying to shake the jacket from my arms.
He released me to turn and lock his front door. “Take all the time you want. I’ll be in bed waiting for you.” He then darted upstairs, and I shook my head humorously at him. Boy, was he impatient.
Walking up the stairs, the anticipation of finding him waiting in bed for me was sexy as hell. I pulled my shirt off in case he got too excited doing it himself and hurt my head. Reaching his room, I found him standing at the side of the bed, naked. His eyes lit up when he saw me, and the gorgeous grin I loved spread across his face. I took in his handsome features and his impressive body and wondered what on earth I’d done to deserve having someone like him.
Slowly, he walked over to me and gently pulled the shirt from my hands, tossing it to the floor. With desire in his eyes, he unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my legs, bending down as he did so to pull them off. Once I was out of them, his mouth went to the inside of my thigh, placing soft kisses until he reached the edge of my panties.
“Oh God, Jamie,” I moaned, reveling in the feel of his mouth on me. In response, he squeezed my behind with both of his hands and a deep groan rumbled from him. My legs began to tremble, and I wanted out of my panties. He moved away from them though, and stood up, pulling me toward the bed. With his hands behind me, he unhooked my bra, and I slid out of my panties. I wasn’t in the mood to wait. Lying down on the pillow, I carefully adjusted my head to avoid any unnecessary pressure.
“Are you okay?” he asked, rolling on a condom, watching me.
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” I reassured him
.
Nestling in between my legs, he looked at my head with concern on his face. He gently put a hand under the back of my neck. “I’ll hold you, okay?”
“Okay.” I relaxed my head into the comforting warmth of his hand and the familiar feeling of security formed a bubble around us. The way he was being so attentive was endearing. As he slid inside me, he made a delicious noise, which I couldn’t help but emulate he felt so good. “God, I’ve missed this.” He breathed heavily. He moved in and out of me slower than before, and his eyes never left mine. He kept wanting reassurance from me that I was okay.Love for him consumed every inch of me. I loved the way he was protective and caring. I loved that he was honest and not afraid to admit when he was wrong. Damn, I even loved that he was hot headed and moody sometimes; it only added to his appeal. Looking into his deep brown eyes, I knew I had fallen in love with him, and I had to try so hard not to let those words fall out of my mouth. The consequences would be disastrous.
He began to move a little faster, picking up a bit of speed, and his hand never once let my head fall. “Jesus, Lauren,” he moaned, as his breathing and thrusts quickened. I could feel myself tightening around him and my orgasm building, and when it released, Jamie’s orgasm took hold of him with one last deep thrust.
Burying his head in the crook of my neck, he lay there silently for a few seconds while he regained his breath, and I gently caressed the back of his shaved hair, enjoying the intimacy with him. When his head rose to look at me, he was wide-eyed and staring at me, almost in disbelief.
“What?” I asked, alarmed by the look on his face. He shook his head and closed his eyes, indicating that he didn’t want me to go there. Then he opened his eyes, blinking slowly, but the look was still there. “Have I done something wrong?” I began to panic and think about what I could have done. Something had caused him to react like this. He shook his head at me.
“Tell me?” I begged.
He took a few seconds. “It’s just… what we did… how we did…,” he stuttered, running his hand over his head. “It was slow!” The tone of his voice almost squeaked as he said each word.
Relief flooded me that it was nothing I had done, and I wanted to laugh that he was making such a big deal out of the slower-than-normal pace. I did have a sore head, after all. “It’s okay, Jamie. Sex isn’t always about hammering it out.”
“I know, it just felt like we were… you know.” He waved his hand, wide-eyed again. He looked so damn adorable.
“What?” I asked, knowing he was trying his best not to say the words “making love.”
“Never mind.” He made a move to get off the bed, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to me.
“Tell me. Tell me honestly what has gotten you so wide-eyed?”
He turned back on his side, facing me. “It felt like we were making love. There, I said it. Okay?” he snapped.
“You didn’t enjoy it? Was it that bad?” Fear set in, as I hoped he wasn’t going to run again.
“No, of course not. It was just… not what I’m used to doing.”
Again, I was relieved he wasn’t running, but I didn’t want to think about what kinds of things he was used to doing with girls. But it was kind of a first for me too.
“Have you ever made love to someone before?” I asked curiously.
His eyes flashed to mine. “We are not going there.” Awkward silence filled the room. “Have you?” he asked when he finally spoke.
“Kind of.” I shrugged.
“Kind of? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He frowned, looking at me like I had two heads.
“That was the closest thing to it.” I gestured to what we had just done. I had never made love to anyone before. I’d slept with a few guys, but there wasn’t that much emotion attached to it. Jamie was different.
His eyes widened in shock again, and he started shaking his head and waving his hands in front of him. “We did not make love. You have a cut on you head. I do not love you.” His words came tumbling out in a rush, and the harshness of his tone crushed me somewhat. I knew we hadn’t made love. I knew he didn’t love me, and what we were doing didn’t have any real emotion attached to it on his part, but the way he said things sometimes cut really deep.
“I know you don’t. You asked me an honest question, and I just answered it. I’m sorry for freaking you out,” I replied quietly, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. Not liking where this was heading, I thought it would be best to leave. I’d freaked him out, and I didn’t want any tension between us. Climbing out of his bed, where he was now fully tucked under the covers, I grabbed my clothes together and began putting them on. He lay against the headboard, watching me.
“Look, I didn’t mean it like that.” He looked at me like he knew he had hurt my feelings.
I wondered if he had any idea just how I did feel about him. He would probably end things promptly if he did. I knew there and then I was getting in too deep with him, and I would only end up hurt. I’d never had this kind of non-relationship before, and it was starting to get a bit too much to bear. “I know. It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry too.” I smiled softly back at him, hoping it masked the pain. I pulled my work shirt over my head.
“Where are you going?” he asked quietly.
“I need to get home,” I said, grabbing my jeans from the floor.
“Need to, or want to?”
“Both?”
He folded his arms across his chest. “Look, just stay. Please?”
“Well, it feels a bit awkward now that you’ve freaked out.”
“I’m not freaked out.” I set my hands on my hips, not believing him. I knew he was lying.
He rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue. “C’mon, just stay. Please.” Unable to resist him, as always, I dropped my jeans back onto the floor and lay back in bed, facing away from him and pulling the covers around me. I heard him sigh before he scooted down a bit and cuddled up to me, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. He buried his face in my hair the way he does and inhaled. “You bring out a lot of weird stuff in me,” he murmured into my hair. I didn’t question him on what exactly that meant. I knew it was best to keep my mouth closed. “Are you keeping the T-shirt on?”
“Yeah, why?” I asked.
“Can you take it off?”
“Why? It’s comfy.”
“Please?”
I gave in and took it off, putting it on the floor, and he wrapped his arms around me again.
“I like the smell of your skin. It’s nice,” he breathed.
I smiled at the compliment. “Don’t you have to be back at the club?”
“No, I’m supposed to be resting until I go back at seven.”
“What we did was your idea of resting?”
“That was my perfect idea of resting.” He chuckled.
In the comfort of his arms, I closed my eyes and tried not to think about leaving him.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Two weeks later
Jamie’s fight tonight was being held at The Circle, a local ice arena that held a lot of big sporting events. Kal and the usual trainers from the club were here, and a few of the guys’ friends had come along to watch him, with it being a local fight. Music filled the arena, and the energy of the place was crazy. Standing with a large group of males, lots of energetic banter and general ‘guy talk’ was happening around me. I felt slightly awkward and out of place being the only female in our group yet again.
Glancing to Jamie’s sister, who sat along our row with her parents, I wished I had the guts to speak to her. I hated that I felt like she didn’t like me. I would give anything to have some female company right now, and we both had her brother in common, so I was certain we could find something to talk about, even if it was limited to just Jamie. Breathing out a shaky breath, my nerves were at an all-time high as they always were, but this time, I was more terrified for him, because of the non-relationship we now had. I didn’t want him getting hurt, an
d if he did, I don’t think there would be any way of concealing my feelings for him.
The arena lights dimmed, the music died down, and strobe lights flashed around his walkout entrance. Radioactive filled my ears, and he confidently walked down to the cage. My nerves simmered slightly as my body flooded with pride and, of course, desire for him. He was strong and determined, and watching him walk into that cage the way he did always left me in awe of him.
On the surface, he was the silent, tough fighter who doesn’t show much emotion, but I was blessed to know the true Jamie, the one who not many people got to see. He was a very caring, loyal, sensitive person, and I loved the bones of him. We’d barely seen or touched each other for two weeks while his training was intense and he needed to keep his head in the game. Tonight would spell the end of our ban and I couldn’t wait.
He was pumped about this fight. Some big sponsors told Kal they were interested in having Jamie wear their famous sportswear brand with the possibility of an endorsement deal, which meant mega publicity and money for him. He was already sponsored by a popular brand of supplements that Kal stocked at the club, but I knew this particular clothing brand was huge in the sporting world. Jamie’s goal was to make it to the UFC, and I had every faith in him, even if I didn’t like the sport much.
Inside the cage, Jamie bounced up and down, getting himself fired up. I could tell he was feeling more nervous than usual, and I wondered whether it was the pending sponsorship deal or his opponent that was making him that way. Jenson Day was an undefeated champion, and Jamie was hell-bent on stripping him of it. That was all he joked about at the club in the weeks leading up to the fight, especially because the fight was on Jamie’s own turf.
The fight was full-on and intense from the start. They threw some good hits at each other, and Jamie got some good kicks and takedowns in. During the second round, I watched as Jenson landed a lethal blow to Jamie’s left eyebrow that instantly split on impact. I winced as the blood began to trickle down his face and into his eye. He constantly wiped it away from his face with his arm, which was now streaked red. Almost all of his opponents took a hit to his eyebrow. They knew it was a weakness.
Reckless Retribution (West Warriors Book 1) Page 21
