“Stop it.” I smacked his arm and left his side to walk over to her. I was hoping they would try to be civil for my sake. Jamie took a seat next to Leon, and soon, they were engaged in conversation again.
“Do you want a tour of the house?” Marc offered proudly.
Taylor and I nodded keenly, and he proceeded to show us around his lake house. It was quite a spacious home, with three bedrooms and two bathrooms, and huge open-plan living room with a large separate kitchen. The living room interior still had the original wood paneling, but Marc had put a contemporary twist on it with dark canvas-colored feature walls, heavy curtains, and chrome fixtures and fittings. The kitchen was completely contemporary, with high gloss units, marbled worktops, and wooden flooring. The rear of the house had spectacular views around the lake.
From the living room, wide patio doors opened out onto a private spacious deck, which ran down to a good-sized man-made beach, complete with a fire pit and wooden chairs surrounding it. The water gently lapped at the shoreline. Just outside of his patio doors was a table and chairs, and I would kill to have my morning coffee there looking out at that view. Both Taylor and I looked at each other, equally stunned at his home before she followed him down to the water’s edge.
I stepped out onto the deck, taking in the magnificent surroundings of this beautiful place. “Wow,” was all I could say to myself. Similar houses were dotted along the shorelines of the lake, some with docks running out into the water with small boats tied to the sides. I never came down to the lake. I never had any reason to. I wished I would have; it was so close to home.
Visions of living in a house just like this on the lake ran through my mind. I could host BBQs, watch my children play in the water… It sounded like a perfect happily ever after. Warmth filled me as I thought of Jamie and wondered if I could have this all with him. That warmth soon turned to ice that slid down my spine when I remembered I was leaving. I couldn’t have this happily ever after at all. My eyes watered and, again, doubts over my move to Texas darkened my thoughts.
“You okay?” Jamie’s voice came from behind, startling me as he wrapped his arms around my waist and nestled his face into my hair.
I choked back the tears. “Yeah.”
“Quite something isn’t it?”
“I’ve never seen anything as beautiful.”
“I have.” He turned me around to him and his expression instantly fell. “What’s wrong?” he asked, alarmed.
“Nothing.” I brightened. “Just being sappy.”
He pulled me into him, squeezing me tightly, and I wrapped my arms around him, inhaling his comforting scent. Uncertainty lay like lead in my gut.
Cam’s hollering voice came outside and our moment ended. “What the hell, dudes? It’s football night. Why are y’all out here coupling up?” His voice had a surprised shrill to it that had me chuckling. I glanced at Taylor and Marc, who’d been tossing rocks into the water, and they turned around, displeased by his interference. Picking up another rock, Marc raised up his clenched hand, looking at him. Cam challengingly gave him a nod.
Frightened that a window was about to be smashed, or worse, somebody was going to end up in the emergency room, I decided to intervene. “Right, let’s go watch football!” I yelled in the most enthusiastic way I could. I turned Cam’s body around and ushered him back inside as I followed.
Behind me, Jamie playfully swatted my butt. “That’s my girl, excited about football.”
Inside, Leon was putting an end to a conversation he was having on his cell as we all trudged back in. The pre-game show was on, and the guys took their seats in various spots around the huge TV screen that was mounted on the wall above the fireplace. They were all drinking bottled water, and as usual, their self-discipline astounded me. Usually, Monday nights were about football and beer. I sat down on one of the couches furthest away from the TV, next to Taylor.
“Who’s playing tonight?” she asked, looking at the screen. Neither of us followed football or any other sport for that matter.
“Wolverines against Longhorns,” Marc snipped in before I could open my mouth to say I had no idea.
“Who?” Her face crinkled at the foreign names.
“Texas and Michigan.” He highlighted each state with his palms.
“Ha! That will be me and you.” She laughed, turning to me. “Bit of a rivalry.” She winked.
I suddenly got very nervous and began shaking my head at her. I hadn’t told her I’d still not said a word to Jamie.
“Hey, you’ll be surrounded by hunky cowboys in a bar watching the game from now on,” she said, before pausing thoughtfully.
I continued to glare at her, but she wasn’t taking heed of my facial warnings. “Taylor, I think we should just watch—”
She cut me off, “Yep, that’s it. I’m moving with you when you leave. A new start for both of us in sunny climates with hot cowboys.” She started to fan herself with her hand.
Nervously, I looked at Jamie to see if he was still watching the game that was now underway, and I was met with a stare that pinned me to the seat in fear.
“What was that?” he addressed me sharply. The others turned to listen in, switching their attention from the game to us. I felt my bottom lip wobble. She’d just ruined everything.
“What did she just say?” he shouted over at me.
I shook my head in panic. I wanted to say something, anything, but nothing would come out of my mouth.
“What did you just say?” his voice boomed, as he directed his question at Taylor, and she visibly froze.
“I-I—” she stuttered, then pressed both of her hands to her cheeks before looking at me remorsefully.
“What are you saying? You’re moving to Texas and haven’t bothered to tell me?” his deep voice growled louder. He looked a mixture of angry and confused, and I wanted to rush over to him and calm him down, but I couldn’t move.
“You still haven’t told him?” Taylor finally spoke, looking horrified between Jamie and me repeatedly. The others were gawking at me in disbelief.
“Start talking. Now!” he yelled, glaring at me like he wanted to kill me. I had never seen him angry like this, especially not at me. I felt like the lowest person ever, and the look on his face killed me. Panicked, I rose to my feet and walked over to where he was sitting, but he put his hands up in front of him, warning me away. “Don’t!” he growled.
I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. “I’m going after graduation, Jamie. I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you. I did. I just couldn’t do it. I was scared-,” my words tumbled out.
He cut me off and stood up confrontationally. “So I had to hear it from your fucking friend.”
“Jay, calm down,” Cam said quietly from across the front room. His face was in his hands like he was watching some sort of horror show.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to find out this way. I was going to tell you,” I cried. “I just couldn’t find the words to.”
“When were you gonna tell me? The night before you fucking leave?” he growled again, slamming his water bottle down on the unit next to him.
I shook my head. “No, of course not. I have to leave Jamie. I need to get away from Dad. It’s been my plan since I started school,” I said desperately.
“It has been.” Taylor nodded, defending me.
“Shut the fuck up,” he snapped, giving her his death glare.
“Jay,” Cam warned again. The other guys all remained seated. They didn’t attempt to stand or try to calm him down as he reached the boiling point. I was scared he was going to explode.
“Jamie, please, let me explain.” I reached out, touching his arm, but he harshly shrugged me off of him.
“I need some fucking space. Don’t you dare follow me,” he snarled, pointing in my face. He took off out the door, slamming it shut behind him so hard it opened back up again.
Fear and panic spread through my veins like wildfire. I was losing him again. None of the guys stop
ped him; they just let him walk away. “Why didn’t you stop him from leaving?” I screamed at them, pointing in the direction he went, but they all just looked at me, seemingly defeated.
“There’s no point. It wouldn’t make a difference. He needs to calm down.” Cam’s tone was clipped, and I knew he was trying not to let his frustration show at the fact I had just hurt his best friend.
I looked at Taylor, who still looked horrified. She buried her face in her hands, shaking her head, then took her hands away again. “I am so sorry, Lo. I thought you told him. Why haven’t you?”
Numbly, I sat back on the couch, next to her, and buried my head in my hands, sobbing. I’d hurt him in front of everyone. He shouldn’t have had to find out that way. I’d had countless times to tell him when we were alone. I needed to talk to him about it, and I hated the fact he’d told me to leave him alone. I was terrified he was just going to let me leave without seeing him again.
“Why haven’t you told him?” She rubbed my back, trying to console me.
I lifted my head to her. “I couldn’t find a way. I kept putting it off. I thought that by not telling him, it wouldn’t seem real, and I wouldn’t have to leave him. I don’t want to leave him,” I said through the sobs erupting from my chest. “What am I going to do?”
Leon passed me some tissues and I wiped my eyes. “He’ll come around,” he said, trying his best to give me a confident smile, but he didn’t convince me.
“What did you talk about the other night then?” Taylor asked.
“Not that,” was all I managed to say. We were too busy making up; it was the last thing on my mind to talk to him about.
“He needs to sort his head out,” Cam spoke again, and I hated it. I hated the way he was talking to me. Making me feel even worse than I already did. His mouth was set into a hard line and his arms were folded defensively across his chest. I knew he was annoyed with me by his tone alone, but his body language was making it all the more obvious.
Despite how he was making me feel, I had to take his advice. He knew Jamie best. But I wasn’t giving him space just yet. I wanted to hear his voice or just know that he was okay, so I made Cam call him. I knew he wouldn’t pick up to me. Cam reluctantly did so, pressing speaker on the cell so we could all listen in, and just as I thought, it rang out before going to voicemail. I felt like I’d destroyed him.
“C’mon, I’ll take you home.” Taylor rose from the couch, pulling me up by my hands.Marc started chuckling quietly to himself.
“What’s so funny?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“This.” He gestured to me with his hands. “Jay did so well avoiding all this shit with girls, and you come along and he’s knee deep in it all.” He smirked.
I didn’t understand why he was being so cruel. “You fucking son of a bitch.” I ran at him.
“Marc!” Taylor scolded.
I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I knew I wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face. Leon swiftly grabbed me by the waist, halting me, but I still tried to hit out at him.
“You dick.” Cam scowled at him.
I couldn’t help but continue to go for him. “You think this is funny? You were the cause of our last fight, weren’t you? Because you couldn’t handle the fact he was happy!” I screamed.
Marc’s face dropped. “Lauren, what I just said was a joke.” He shook his blond head patronizingly.
I knew for a fact he meant every word of it, and I didn’t know why he was so harsh. “Fuck you! I hope you’re happy now,” I spat.
Leon held me against him for a few more minutes, and my breathing eventually relaxed a little. “You good?” he murmured, relaxing his hold on me. I nodded, and he released his grip on me. Giving Marc one last glare, I grabbed my purse and stormed out of his house, and Taylor quickly followed.
“Hey, Lauren, are you okay?” Leon shouted, following us. I turned to him and gave him a pathetic excuse of a nod. I wasn’t okay, far from it. “Come here.” He beckoned me with his hands. I walked over to him, and he put his arms around me, pulling me tight to his chest. “He’s gonna be okay. He loves you. Trust me, he does. It’s clear for anyone to see, but you should have told him sooner,” he said, placing a kiss on the side of my head.
I knew I should have, and I will live with that regret forever. “I love him so much, Leon, it scares me. I don’t know what’s going to happen to us when I leave. I don’t want to leave him,” I cried.
He let out a sigh and continued to hold me tightly. “I know, but you’ll figure it out, trust me.”
I hoped so. We had to figure it out. I pulled away from him, and sympathetically, he rubbed both my arms with his hands. It didn’t mean the end for us. Unless I’d pushed him too far. And I had a horrible feeling I had.
****
Jamie’s silence was torturous. For days, I’d sent texts apologizing and begging him to ring me, but he never responded. I knew he needed time, but I didn’t have time. I didn’t want to waste any of it. Right now, my time left here was precious, and I wanted to spend the rest of it with him, even if he was still angry at me. I desperately hoped he found it in himself to forgive me, even though deep down I knew I didn’t deserve it. While I waited for him to come to terms with it, I decided it was time I told Dad.
“I’m telling Dad tonight,” I whispered to Taylor, as the professor ran through the graduation day schedule.
She looked at me, alarmed. “Do you want me to come with you?”
I shook my head. “It’s best if I do it alone.” Lord knows what his reaction was going to be.
“What if he…?” She lowered her tone. “What if he goes ballistic?”
“He probably will, but I have no choice. I need to tell him. I can’t just leave.” Although that seemed like the better option.
“Be careful. Call me if you need anything.” She eyed me warily.
“I will,” I said, grateful for her concern. I wondered if I actually had the courage to tell him. Or the courage to actually get on that plane and leave. With every passing day, I felt like I was constantly second-guessing my decision. When I accepted the job, I was in a completely different place than I was in now. All because of Jamie. I’d packed up most of my things weeks ago. Taylor’s parents thankfully loaned me some space in their garage until the Pod arrives to take the stuff down to Texas.
I knew there was little Dad could do in terms of preventing me from going by withholding any of my stuff. There was very little left at home except my clothes; they were the last few things I needed to pack. My savings were safe, including Kal’s generous check I had cashed in, and my ATM card was now at Taylor’s. That, I had to be careful of. I’d gone to great lengths hiding it in my room; I didn’t want it to be found by Dad at the last minute. That would stop me from moving indefinitely.
My flight had been booked almost as soon as I was given my start date, and I had an apartment, the one I’d seen on the internet. It was in a small town called Hopen, where the school was. The principal told me it was a quiet area to live in, and she had even gone down to take a look at it on my behalf, which was amazing. I couldn’t have been more grateful. Happy with her approval, I paid my first month’s rent to secure it. So all that was left was for me to get on the plane. Leave my life behind. Leave Jamie behind. I felt nauseous at the thought of leaving him.
After school, I walked home slower than I ever had in my entire life. I didn’t even take the bus. Anything that would speed up my arrival at home was not going to happen. Not knowing how Dad was going to react plagued me with anxiety. Once I got home, I walked into the front room, where he was sitting watching the news channel, and I took a seat on the couch across the room from him. I figured doing it right away was best.
Setting my purse in my lap, I clutched at the cool leather strap so he couldn’t see my hands shaking. He raised an eyebrow in suspicion at me coming to sit down with him. It was something I never did. “I need to talk to you,” I said quietly. My heart was slamming against my
ribcage. He stayed silent and watched me carefully. “About my plans for after graduation.”
His eyes began to wander around the room, and something about his reaction made me wonder if he knew something like this would be coming.
“I’ve been offered a job teaching in Texas for six months,” I continued. I was shaking like a leaf, and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to give him any indication that I felt weak at this moment in time because he would try to use it against me. I watched him cautiously, looking for some indication that he would jump up and come at me because of the choice I was making. A selfish choice to leave him. Alone. To fend for himself. His shoulders sagged and he exhaled, sitting farther back into his chair, and my breathing eased a little. “It’s just for six months, and then I’ll be back.”
My future plans were in tatters since I didn’t know what was going to happen because of Jamie. I was unsure whether I was going to last six weeks out there, let alone six months. I did worry about the impact it would have on Dad’s health. I worried how he would survive without me. Would he shop for food? Would he spend what little money he’d have on liquor? Would he drink himself to death while I was gone? Horrible scenarios played out in my mind constantly when I thought of leaving him.
He rubbed his hand roughly across the stubble on his chin then clicked the volume back up on the television, and just like that, our conversation was terminated. I was taken aback. No ‘congratulations’ or ‘hell no, you’re not going.’ Just nothing. He acted like he didn’t care. Like I didn’t matter. As if all the years I’d spent looking after him meant nothing. It was sad that he didn’t have one ounce of love for me at all.
I stood from the couch and decided that I didn’t want to hang around in case he suddenly decided he was against the idea—he could be unpredictable like that—so I walked away from him, and he let me. I decided to go and meet Taylor after her last class.
“How did it go then?” Her eyes flitted across my entire body.
I let out a frustrated groan. “Well, that’s the thing. He didn’t react at all.”
Reckless Retribution (West Warriors Book 1) Page 27