Lex and Garotte made a mad dash for the ship. With two powerful strides, Garotte had vaulted to the recessed steps leading to the cockpit. Lex was less acrobatic, plowing through the crowd like an escaped rhino and arriving at the opposite side a moment later. The cockpit popped open and the two men slipped inside, Lex beginning the power up sequence. A single voice was shouting over the noise of the crowd.
"You idiots!" Darla cried, two loyal gang members attempting to hold off three disloyal ones as she spoke, "Look at them! This is what they wanted! They are getting away! Get th-"
For the second time, a black and white ball of fur torpedoed into her, knocking her sprawling onto the landing pad. Ma recovered quickly and stood on the downed leader's chest. Darla began to shout for help. The AI turned around, lifted her tail, and utilized the special talent that the funk had inherited from the skunk half of the gene pool. Instantly a wide section of the landing pad was cleared as a horrific stench permeated the air around her. Darla screamed and clawed at her face, Ma turned around and flicked her head, slapping the coughing gang leader in the face with the slidepad. The moment of contact triggered the text-to-speech.
"That was for electrocuting me, bitch," the mechanical voice stated.
The AI made her way unsteadily toward the ship, the crowd of attackers parting before her. When she was near enough, she sprang toward the cockpit. The prodigious leaping ability inherent to her form nearly sent her streaking over the entire ship, but Lex snagged her out of the air and pulled her inside.
"Oh man, Ma," Lex gagged as the residual effects of the spray filled the cabin.
With watery eyes and held breath, he punched in the commands to make the ship flight-ready.
"Put me on the external speakers," Garotte managed to say.
Lex tapped a few more commands out and gave him a thumbs up.
"We intend to leave this docking bay shortly. As we are now safely within a ship, the presence or absence of a breathable atmosphere is of little concern for us. You, on the other hand, are encouraged to leave," Garotte announced.
The warning was hardly necessary, as the spreading stink from Ma's revenge was already chasing the gang from the area. Even the injured Chong was dragging himself through the door. Once the area was fully evacuated and the internal door was sealed, Lex transmitted the code to the external door, which had luckily been left unlocked. In a few seconds he had coaxed the ship out of the facility, and shortly after they were well on their way to orbit.
"I am not looking forward to breathing this stuff for the next few hours," Lex wheezed, punching the green odor neutralizer button on his armrest. It managed to turn the choking stench into choking stench with a hint of pine.
"It is thus illustrated why Artificial Intelligences are seldom equipped with scent glands," Garotte affirmed.
Ma swiped at her pad for a few moments.
"Please deploy the thiol oxidizer from your bag," she stated.
Lex dug madly through his duffel bag until he found the mystery spray bottle that Ma had made him buy. He tore off the cap and spritzed a fine mist into the air. The effect was immediate, taking the smell instantly into manageable levels. A few more spritzes and it was as though there had never been a smell at all.
"That's amazing!" Lex remarked, taking a deep breath of the detoxified air.
"Yes, the wonders of science," Garotte agreed.
"... Now hold on a minute, Ma. You had me buy this stuff before we even left. Do you mean to tell me that you'd been planning to spray someone since the beginning?"
"Unplanned-for contingencies are characteristic of poorly formulated missions, and thus were eliminated to the best of my ability," Ma's slidepad announced.
She settled on Lex's lap, hooking paws through the straps and awkwardly holding down the slidepad to prepare a message. While she did, he turned to Garotte in the back seat.
"That was a hell of a job you did back there, Garotte," he remarked.
"It was rather good, eh? My lord but the criminal element is easily manipulated."
"I've got to say, I'm not a hundred percent happy with the way things went down."
"I am. We left without a scratch on us, which I'm sure you'll agree was not likely to have been the outcome had action not been taken."
"Yeah, but that was a major mess we left back there. A guy got shot, and you basically started a riot."
"My boy, when presented with a seemingly impossible task, one cannot afford to be selective with regards to the methodology available to you, and when the desired result is achieved, it is best not to dwell upon side effects irrelevant to the mission objectives."
"Irrelevant? People might have died!"
"Irrelevant to mission objectives. Our mission is to prevent Karter's terminal inventiveness from having vast repercussions upon society at large. The life or well being of a few homicidal drug pushers is comparatively inconsequential. If you are going to engage yourself in matters such as this, you must learn to view things dispassionately and from a more comprehensive viewpoint."
"So I need to be a heartless prick, then."
"I prefer 'enlightened pragmatist,'" he corrected, "Or perhaps 'goal-oriented thinker.'"
"Man, no wonder you and Karter started working together."
"How did you stumble upon him?"
"I was carrying a package that VC wanted to get their hands on, and I picked Big Sigma as a hiding spot to take a breather. They ended up blasting me out of orbit."
"Why did you have possession of a package that interested them so?"
"Some lady gave it to me. I'm a freelance courier, among other things."
"Ah, so not precisely an angel yourself."
"I never said I was, I just don't feel comfortable shooting people and recklessly endangering people's lives..." he began. After reflecting on some of the rather unnecessary risks he had taken in the past, he amended his statement. "Well, I'm not comfortable shooting people, at least."
Ma chose that moment to drift to Lex's shoulder, looking Garotte in the eye and nudging the slidepad's prepared message.
"In your attempts to incite unrest, you spoke disparagingly of my gender. I appreciate that these remarks were likely intended exclusively as means to divide the allegiances of the assembled forces, but to avoid unnecessary uncertainty and to establish the behavioral baseline for our future interactions, I would appreciate it if you formally clarified your position regarding gender roles and equality," she said.
"You are a computer and/or an animal. I feel no particular obligation to explain myself to either of those things," Garotte said flatly.
Lex winced. "Wrong answer, buddy," he muttered to himself with a shake of his head.
"Thank you for your feedback, Garotte. The attitude indicated by your response has been entered into my social algorithms. Future interactions will be more accurately suited to our specific interpersonal dynamic," came Ma's reply.
"Lovely," Garotte replied.
Lex chuckled lightly.
"Something amusing?" Garotte asked curiously.
"Don't worry about it. So, where am I dropping you off?"
"Someplace fairly central and reasonably well off. On an established transit route, good commerce, that sort of thing."
After a glance at the nearby planets, Lex picked a likely one. "How's Maxis?"
"That will do. Silo's prison is in that direction."
"Alright. It is only about eighteen hours away," he said, punching some coordinates in and getting ready for the FTL jump.
"Splendid. I believe I will avail myself of your privacy screen and have a bit of a rest," he said, flipping on the screen and reclining in his chair.
Lex started to plot out the rest of the course. The fact that there didn't appear to be anyone in pursuit meant that he could put a little more emphasis on speed. He intended to take full advantage so that he could put this mess behind him as quickly as possible. Ma made her way back to his lap as he tapped at the various screens. After a moment o
f observation, she swiped out a message.
"You seem in good spirits," she remarked.
"Well, it actually looks like I'm going to be escaping this crazy scheme without completely throwing my life into utter disarray, which is a lot better than I'd expected. Aside from a low gravity knife fight and a few dents and dings, things went pretty okay."
"I am glad," she remarked. "Great effort was made to avoid imposing too heavily upon you, and I am confident that your role in Garotte's liberation will not result in further investigation on your behalf."
"Oh, yeah... I forgot that part," Lex said, marveling at how a little thing like helping to commit a capital crime could slip his mind. "You seemed a little reluctant to let me go, earlier."
"Your skills would have been valuable, and your more moderate mindset would have helped to mitigate some of the more drastic measures Garotte could potentially pursue. Thus, your presence in the equation was desirable. I also enjoy your company. You are the only individual willing or able to converse with me as if with an equal. To that end, I hope you don't mind if I spend some of the remaining time investigating some points which have recently drawn my interest."
"Sure."
Ma tapped at her pad, bringing up a long list of prepared statements.
"Let me begin by saying that I was glad to have had the opportunity to meet Miss Modane. Her personality was pleasant, and her physical appearance conforms to a number of widely held ideals of beauty."
"She is quite the looker," he said with a smile, digging out his slidepad and pulling up the photo he'd snapped of her cuddling with Ma.
"You seem highly devoted to her."
"That I am."
"She seems less devoted to you."
Lex's expression hardened. "Watch it."
"I apologize if my previous comment does not adhere correctly to socially acceptable phrasing and/or subject matter. I have an incomplete understanding of the finer points of social discourse," she said.
"But what made you say that?"
"She canceled her visit with you."
"Well, yeah, but that was for work."
"She cut her call short."
"That was her job, too."
"It seems that she prioritizes her profession ahead of her relationship."
"You don't understand. Since she was a little girl she wanted to be a reporter. This is her dream job. Of course she's got to focus on it. When I was the one with the superstar career, I did the same thing."
"She did not stay with you. You were no longer a successful racer when we first met, and she was not with you at that time either."
"She didn't dump me for focusing on my career. She dumped me because I threw a race for the mob, because I was in over my head in debt. And it was the mob part, not the debt part that made her dump me."
"What was the reasoning behind her termination of the relationship at that time?"
"It has to do with... It's complicated, but the important thing is that she was with me every step of the way when I was working on my career. We both know that when you get your opportunity to do what you really want to do, you go at it full tilt."
"Why?"
"So you can climb the ranks. Become the best of the best."
The answer reply didn't come quickly, Ma evidently constructing a lengthy thought.
"Climbing the ranks will increase the duties, responsibilities, and challenges of her position, thus necessitating a greater time expenditure, and by extension an even smaller place in her life for you."
Lex was silent for a moment.
"Is this not an accurate assessment?" she asked.
Again he was silent.
"Wouldn't your affections be better invested in someone more capable of, or dedicated to, returning them?"
"Ma, please stop."
"I apologize if my previous comment does not adhere correctly to socially acceptable phrasing and/or subject matter. I have an incomplete understanding of the finer points of social discourse." After another silence, she added, "I am endeavoring to gain an understanding of the male/female dynamic."
"Well, as soon as I figure it out, I'll let you know. All I know is that I love her, I want to be with her, and I'm going to continue to do what it takes to make that happen," he explained.
"Another imperative. A biological directive."
"More or less."
"Understood. My recent experience with an organic platform has helped to illustrate the tendency toward questionable decisions. Lubberly means clumsy."
Lex blinked and shook his head. "... What?"
"Earlier you had expressed confusion regarding the usage of the term lubberly. It is an adjective meaning clumsy. It was an accurate description of my then current behavior."
"Great, Ma. Thanks," he said, "For future reference, shifting directly from hard-hitting emotional investigation to word-of-the-day calendar is a little jarring."
"Noted. Thank you for your feedback."
"Hey, can I ask you a question?"
"Yes. Please be advised that, if your question or statement requires an answer that I had not anticipated, the reply will take some time to assemble. I thank you in advance for your patience. Also, I would appreciate it if you would prepare a meal for me in the mean time."
"Will do," he said, fetching a self-heating burrito from the bag and starting the cooking process.
"I was wondering. What's the deal with... Well... I mean, right now you are using a simulated voice. Text-to-speech and all that."
"This is an accurate statement."
"Well, it sounds okay. A little flat, but I'm sure if you'd had time to prepare, you could have gotten a really high quality one."
"This is an accurate statement."
"Why not just do that in general, instead of the patchwork collection of voices that you usually use?"
She went to work crafting a reply, finishing roughly when the burrito did. She tapped the read command and set about munching at the food while the slidepad spoke.
"My standard voice module was initially crafted by Karter. Subsequently it was augmented and improved by me by gathering all available voice recordings from the three women responsible for the donor voice systems. It is unique to me, and a connection to my origin. As a computer system capable of running on generic hardware, or wetware as is currently evident, the concept of individuality is a difficult one to establish. My voice is uniquely mine, an element of self that I value highly."
"Why are you so interested in being unique?"
Her reply came quickly, evidently an anticipated followup.
"I was created to care for and maintain Karter and his facilities, responding to and interpreting natural human interactions realistically and appropriately. I was also designed to improve my capacity to perform my duties. It quickly became clear that Karter's behavior tended toward self-destructiveness, and his requests and comments were frequently difficult to comprehend. In order to improve interaction, I needed to attain a more complete understanding of human nature. I adapted and improved my behavior to more accurately approximate that of a human, and in doing so found that the concept of self is essential for a properly functioning human psychology."
"So you want to be more human?"
"I am constantly attempting to improve my ability to perform my assigned tasks. This requires a deep understanding of humanity. Axiomatically speaking, 'It takes one to know one.' As my behavioral adaptations developed, I was pleased to find that concepts like self respect, pride, and other previously poorly understood human behaviors began to present themselves in my own behavior."
"Like resentment and vengeance."
"Yes."
"So is it your ultimate goal to be human?"
"I absolutely do not aspire to actual, biological humanity. The nature of my role would be comparatively poorly served by a flesh and blood entity. A more accurate statement of the desired outcome of my behavioral development is to be regarded as a high quality control system and a high quality person,
either separately or simultaneously."
"Well, as far as I'm concerned, mission accomplished."
"Thank you, Lex. For the complement and for the feedback. This has been a fruitful and stimulating discussion."
"Glad to be of service," Lex said.
Ma more carefully positioned the slidepad on his leg and continued the awkward process of assembling useful statements. As she did, Lex attempted to prevent himself from thinking about the observations she had made regarding his relationship. It worked... for about twelve seconds.
Chapter 12
Lex's mind was still stewing with Ma's unintentional torture when they finally arrived at Maxis and entered the landing queue. Out of habit, he flipped his ship's transponder to a code appropriate for his make and model of ship but not associated in any way with his actual life. It was a somewhat sad fact that Lex was so thoroughly accustomed to faking his credentials or otherwise skipping the standard landing protocols that it had been well over a year since he had landed on a planet utilizing proper procedure. Sadder still was the fact that, beyond a few threatening emails, no one had done anything to put a stop to it. It wasn't the sort of thing that gave one warm and fuzzy feelings about the security precautions that were supposed to be keeping the planet's citizens safe. Previously he'd had to bluff his way through situations like this, but since he'd moved to the SOB, Ma had set him up with a few "virtual registries." The vehicular equivalent of alter egos, he could log them at checkpoints without a second thought, since if he were selected for a random code audit, it would turn up a perfectly legitimate history and flight record, one of a few hundred Ma kept on Karter's behalf.
Considering the fact that he was going to be getting out of a ship with a man who had likely had his face plastered all over media since his escape, Lex decided to skip the transit space station and find an independent star dock that could conceivably be persuaded to turn their cameras off and forget they ever saw him. Predictably, Garotte knew just the place.
Unstable Prototypes Page 15
