by Sosie Frost
Was it?
The parking lot had turned disaster. The elderly stole their cookies and migrated back to the bus. The Girl Scouts consoled each other, heartbroken about their one and only chance to swim with Nemo. Clue fussed, in desperate need of a bath.
And I was still holding her damn umbilical cord.
I made a face and uncurled my fist. Had it gotten more leathery?
“What the hell is that?” Shepard took a step back.
“Her…umbilical cord fell off.”
“Why the hell are you holding it?”
I dropped it and wiped my hand on my pants. “It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah, all this mayhem is damn exhausting.”
I prepared to fight, but Shepard laughed, warm and teasing.
It was wrong to enjoy it, but I’d take any comfort I could get.
He brushed a gentle finger over Clue’s chubby cheek. “Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, but you should have seen her inside, fighting for the last fifty-cent a pound ham.”
“Need any help?”
I glanced over the parking lot. “Looks like you have your hands full.”
Why did he have to smile?
Why did he have to stand so tall and gorgeous?
Why did he have to charge into the scene, rip off his jacket, and prepare for a battle against an unknown evil-doer kidnapper?
He still breathed hard, adrenaline pumping, eyes searching the parking lot for anything else that might threaten the innocent people doing their shopping.
He was like my own personal hero. He begged for a chance to save me.
And I refused him. He could help me, but who would rescue us once we made the worst mistake of our lives?
The Girl Scouts rushed over, pointing at the table and the crumbs left behind. Shepard glanced at the senior citizen bus, nodded, and retrieved his wallet.
“I’ll cover what they ate.” He handed the girls a stack of twenties.
The girls stared, astounded at the money in their hand.
“You don’t have any Thin Mints left, do you?” he asked.
The girls pointed to the bus. One old lady whacked another with her cane for getting close to the box.
“Maybe next time.” Shepard winked.
The girls scurried away. I didn’t have that escape. He turned to me, voice caramel smooth and just as sweet.
“What can I do?” he said. “Say the word.”
I was getting tired of refusing him, and the grocery list only grew in my head.
“I might need some diapers tomorrow.”
“Then I’ll stop by tomorrow with diapers.”
A terrible warmth wound its way around my stomach, creeping a little too close to my thudding heart. “Thank you.”
“Need a lift?”
“Something tells me I shouldn’t ride with strangers.”
“Do you really think I’m a stranger?”
I smirked. “Okay then. I shouldn’t ride in the back of a police car.”
“I’ll let you play with my nightstick.”
“And somehow I’ll end up in handcuffs.”
“That’s how most of my nights end…” Shepard laughed. “The bad nights…and the good.”
Dangerous, dangerous thoughts. I wagged a finger at him.
“Behave.” I strapped Clue into the carrier, though neither of us were happy about the environmental hazard staining the material. “I should get her home.”
“I’ll see you girls tomorrow.”
“Remember—no diapers, no dinner.”
“Oh. I get dinner now?”
“Goodbye, Detective Novak.”
He studied me, eyes flashing with a perfect mischief. “Goodbye, Evie.”
Evie.
I turned as a completely inappropriate shiver dashed over my body. It was the first time the name sounded right.
And it wasn’t because I was used to it. And it wasn’t because I liked it.
It was because Shepard called me Evie.
And that thrilled me more than any recovered memory.
5
Ding!
Oh no.
I braced myself, hands poised over the crib inches over the sleeping baby.
Dong!
“You son of a—”
Ding-ding-ding dong!
Clue’s mouth popped open first. The cry echoed off the walls. Feet kicked. Arms swatted. Socks were lost.
Who the hell conducted an orchestra on my doorbell?
It had taken an hour to put the baby down. And I hadn’t had any sleep after a long night of fussing, crying, whining, sniffling, and general irritability—and the kid had been pretty upset too.
The doorbell rang again. More impatient this time.
Fantastic. Did I let Clue cry it out in her crib? That seemed cruel. On the other hand, I only needed to run to the door. But every inch of me ached when she cried, and if holding the baby meant it comforted me, I’d have to rationalize it later.
Now I had to punish the cop responsible for pounding my door down. It should have been a felony to wake a baby.
I yanked the door open. “Detective, I’m going to shove that magnifying glass into a brand-new crime scene—”
Whoops.
The woman in a pastel pantsuit was not Detective Novak—and she didn’t share his patience or sense of humor. Still, she was lucky I didn’t shove the doorbell down her throat.
“Are you Jane Evie Doe?”
The woman spoke like she swallowed her cigarette after her one and only lay. Hopefully the shower sprayer gave her a good time in a lover’s absence. No one was getting close to her puckered gullet, goopy mascara, and judgmental scowl.
“That’s what they’re calling me,” I said.
“Who?”
Wasn’t like anyone scrawled my name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I might have found it down a dark alley or scribbled on some bounced check, but I still waited for that discovery.
I hesitated. “I’m sorry, who are—”
“And this is the child?” The woman checked the folder in her hand. “Suzette Doe?”
I knew I’d regret that name. “The baby is a prima donna…she’s not responding to it yet.”
“Is that her name or not?”
Three hours of sleep permitted an invited guest three chances to come at me with some common decency. This lady struck out immediately.
I had a baby in my arms but hell if my eyebrow didn’t punch up when I needed a bit of attitude.
“Who wants to know?” I asked.
The lady soured. “My name is Lauren Mills. I work for Child Protective Services.”
Damn it. Now was the time to play it cool. Be polite. Genuflect and hope for the best.
Somehow, I didn’t think that was my game.
I gave it a long pause, just enough to irritate her. “…And?”
The lady sucked in a haughty breath. I didn’t have many instincts or memories, but something told me to tug my earrings out and find the seam for her weave so I knew where to yank.
“I’m here to check on the welfare of the child,” she said.
“She’s fine.”
“She’s crying.”
“You woke her from her nap by playing Beethoven’s Fifth on my doorbell.”
“Were you unprepared for visitors?”
Dangerous question. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“May I come in?”
I had a lot of bad ideas. Grocery shopping without packing extra wipes was not a great plan, but letting this lady anywhere near my child was the shittiest idea of all.
“The baby is fine,” I said. “We’re fine.”
“Doesn’t sound like it.”
Clue wasn’t helping the situation, but I bounced her and waited for the fussing to stop.
And waited. And waited.
“She needs a nap,” I finally said.
“Is your baby normally sleep deprived?”
I ground my teeth. “No, but I am
, so you best be careful.”
Lauren gave me a bitter smile. “I’m only doing my job, ma’am.”
“And I’m raising my baby.”
“You’ve recently been in an accident.” She moved on quickly, checking her notes. “Head trauma? Have the complications resolved?”
“I’m doing better.”
“So no further mental impairments?”
It was a good thing I had a baby in my hands. “I never had a mental impairment. I lost my memory.”
“Have you regained it?”
Nope. I wasn’t answering that. “I thought you were here to check on the welfare of the baby?”
She attempted to step foot into my apartment. “I’m here to ensure the child is in no danger.”
“Oh, the baby isn’t in danger.” I edged in front of her. “I can’t say the same about you.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“It sure sounds like you’re threatening me.”
Lauren gripped her folder tighter. “I’m here to interview you and do a home inspection. If you please, give me a tour of your apartment. The sooner you comply, the sooner I’ll leave.”
I liked the thought of her leaving, but every hair on my neck rose as I stepped aside and let her in. She surveyed the apartment—beautiful and in pristine condition. Her gaze fell to the fireplace, the large windows, and the hint of the countertops in the kitchen.
“This is your primary residence?” she asked.
“This is where I’m staying to recuperate.”
“You have no income?”
I gritted my teeth. “I just had a baby.”
“So no job?”
Maybe? At one point? I’d sure as hell be fired by now. Or insulted that no one thought to call the police when I didn’t show up for almost three weeks. Talk about a bad office.
“Nothing presently,” I said. “You’ve seen the home, if you would…”
“Then you’ve been subsisting on charity?”
“We’re doing fine with what we’ve been given.”
Lauren wasn’t impressed. “I would like to detail in my report the child’s living environment.”
“Excuse me?”
“A tour, if you would, Miss…Doe.”
She’d need a bulldozer to move me. “If you have a problem, say it. The house is fine. The baby is healthy.”
“This is routine, I assure you.” She arched an eyebrow. “I will also need to ensure your kitchen is stocked—”
“You’re looking at the baby’s kitchen.” I pointed to my chest. “And you’re not getting a demonstration of that.”
“Surely you can understand—”
“No.” I bristled. “No, I can’t. I’ve done everything right. The doctors said she was healthy—”
“I’ll need proof of her records sent to my offices.”
This lady was about to get her ass kicked from my house back to her offices. “Fine. Why don’t you head there and wait for the fax?”
“You are not cooperating with this investigation, Miss Doe.” Lauren closed her folder. “Perhaps I should speak with the child’s father?”
That gut punch hit hard enough to feel like a labor pain.
“Good luck,” I said. “Maybe after you talk to him, you can tell him I’d like a word with him.”
Her expression twisted. “There is a father?”
“Obviously.”
“Where is he?”
“We haven’t located him yet.”
“Ah.” She scribbled something in her notes guaranteed to piss me off. “So you’re raising this child on your own.”
“No. I said we haven’t found him yet.”
“Then he hasn’t contributed to the welfare of this child.”
“Listen to me.” I gritted my teeth. “I have amnesia. I have a hard-enough time trying to remember who I am. There is a father, but I don’t know where he is.”
“So you’re a single mother.”
“Not for long!”
A hurried rush of steps trampled down the hall, and Lauren turned as a stern voice silenced us both.
“What’s going on?” Shepard clutched two bags of groceries. The diapers dropped, bouncing off the ground. “Evie, you okay?”
I sure as hell didn’t need the backup, but at least a cop would protect Lauren.
“Excuse me.” Lauren bristled as Shepard edged into the apartment. “Who are you?”
He didn’t like the question. He wasn’t in uniform, but that didn’t diminish his presence, that authoritative poise that silenced people under his stare.
“Same question.” His voice hardened. “You first.”
“Lauren Mills. Child Protective Services.”
“Oh, of course you are.”
“I’m conducting an investigation.”
“Into what?”
Lauren stiffened. “A child was released into the care of a woman suffering from an unverifiable medical disorder. Perhaps a physical ailment. Perhaps a psychological impairment. Perhaps a mental break. I’m here to ensure the welfare of the child, tour the environment, and complete a report based on my findings.”
“And I told her the baby is fine,” I said. “She’s insinuating I’m an unfit mother.”
“Suzette’s welfare is my only concern.”
Shepard frowned. “Who the hell is Suzette?”
I sighed. “Clue.”
“You named her Suzette?”
“It was breakfast, and they were serving crepes while I did the paperwork. Be glad I didn’t name her Benedict.”
“If I may…” Lauren stepped further into the living room. “Don’t make this difficult.”
Shepard grinned. “Oh, I’ll make it real easy. You have the information you need. You can leave.”
“I have to examine the apartment.”
“Do you have a court order?”
Lauren arched an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“You don’t have a court order.” Shepard flashed the badge on his belt. “If you did, I’d be here, conducting the search with you. Your claims are unfounded. The baby is safe, healthy, and happy, and I’m here to give Miss Doe any help she wishes. You’re done here.”
The folder snapped shut. Lauren huffed, but she lifted her chin. “See, Miss Doe? All I needed was a little cooperation.”
“And all you needed was to sit and spin on that stick jammed up your—”
“Thank you, Ms. Mills.” Shepard stepped between us. “Have a nice day.”
He slammed the door. Good. One of us had to do it.
“You.” He pointed at me. “You better drop the attitude, Evie. Think before talking.”
My blood pressure popped, and my hands trembled in a way that gave Clue a pleasant little bounce. “She insulted me.”
“Then it’s a damn good thing I showed up when I did.”
“Yeah, it was.” I fumed. “I thought this was settled. I thought that’s why you found me in the first place. You did a welfare check.”
“It’s fine, Evie. They’re just concerned about the baby.”
“Well, it’d be nice if they started searching outside this apartment for their answers. I’ve given them everything I know. Told everyone everything I know. And still people assume that I’m the one at fault.”
“That’s not true.”
“Where’s her father? Where’s my family?” I held her tighter. “Why hasn’t anyone come looking for me yet?”
“I’m doing everything I can.”
“It’s not enough, Shepard! Not when I have doctors and law enforcement agencies and charities all demanding answers I don’t have. Someone somewhere out there has to know who I am.”
“I’m sure they do.”
My voice wavered, and, for the first time in two weeks, the prickle of tears threatened to overwhelm me.
“Don’t let them take her from me, Shepard. She’s all I have.”
Shepard didn’t ask before reaching for me. I didn’t protest as he pulled both me and the baby cl
ose. I held my breath, but the sob dared to tremble from my lips
This was a mistake.
Not just letting myself get so shamefully emotional, but settling in Shepard’s arms and feeling…
Safe.
Welcomed.
Wanted.
I backed away as Clue gave a throaty sigh.
I held a baby. My baby. A child I’d created with another man.
And somewhere he was waiting for me.
But I only looked at Shepard. Met the understanding in his stunningly blue eyes. Let his hands caress my arms. He held me and spoke every promise I longed to hear.
“No one will take the baby from you, Evie.” He brushed his thumb against my cheek. I stopped my eyes from fluttering closed, but my heart still crashed against my chest. “You’re not in this alone. Not anymore.”
“Shepard, I don’t need you to play hero.”
“Good thing this isn’t a game.”
I swallowed all those tingly feelings and thoughts. “I’m okay. I got upset. I haven’t slept well, and my hormones are insane, and I just put dinner in the oven. All I wanted was a minute to sit while Clue napped, but that woman…” I cast one last disapproving look at the door. “There’s no fighting when the soup is on the table.”
Shepard’s eyes narrowed. “What did you say?”
“Get over here and eat, the lot of you.” Granna threatened the teenagers with a wooden spoon. Didn’t matter if it was still covered in rice or not—talk back, get whacked, and scrape your dinner off your backsides. “There ain’t no fighting once the soup is on the table.”
I lingered in the doorway. Granna pointed the spoon at me. “Same goes for you, Miss Priss. Get your skinny butt over here and get some food in you. Ain’t nothing sticking to them ribs whiles you away at school.”
And nothing at the college tasted as good as Granna’s cooking.
I dropped my bookbag beside the door. A large pile of jackets, bags, and hats stacked in a pile. Nothing ever changed at Granna’s. Everything dropped at the door—problems, hunger. Even colors.
Two of the young boys at the table acted up, pitching away their chairs and thunking their chests with fists. An older teenager cackled, encouraging the fight. Granna smacked them all with a quick hand.
“Sit your butts down before I kick them out into the street.” Her voice didn’t raise, but her tone struck harder than the spoon. “Lord have mercy, every time I turn around, boys fighting boys, day and night. You want to get fed today? You better listen good. In my house we break bread, not bones. You wanna play tough, you go outside and scrape up your own dinner. Your momma feeding you?”
