by Ravenna Tate
He’d never ask his cousin this directly, but Donny had been talking about his wife and kids a lot more than usual. Vassago believed the attempted hit on Donny had really shaken up his family. Even though they all lived with that threat constantly, it was the first time it had hit so close to home, no pun intended. All the more reason why he and Digger needed to end this shit once and for all.
Digger laughed and snapped his fingers in front of Vassago’s face. “Where the fuck did you go just now?”
“Nowhere.”
“Christ. You really have it bad for Marie. This isn’t going to affect your performance on this job, is it?”
“I don’t have it bad for Marie. I’m fine.”
Digger laughed again. “Right. Okay. Just keep saying that, Jimmy.”
“Fuck you! What if I send you back home by yourself to take care of this?”
“What if you just admit you have a gigantic thing for her and be done with it?”
What if you drop dead? “I’d be a fucking fool to let myself have a thing for her. She’s not staying.”
“Only because no one has asked her to, numbnuts.”
“No, she’s not staying because she came here under false pretenses and will never stop apologizing for it.”
“Everyone here has accepted her apology and moved on. Doesn’t she know that?”
“No.” It hadn’t mattered that he kept reminding her how much the women in the building liked her, and appreciated having her right there to do their damn nails.
They were probably spending more money because Marie was living there than they’d have spent making appointments and going into town to one of the salons. She never turned anyone down. A few of the dancers sported a new color every fucking day.
“Well, then fucking reassure her of that and she’ll stay. What the fuck you waiting for?”
Good question. Even the fact that he and Gorgon still hadn’t formally talked about her staying hadn’t kept Vassago from wanting Marie so badly, he could hardly stand it. But he felt unsettled, as if too many things had to first fall in place before he could dare to hope she might be his one day.
All week long, he had waited for a phone call from Donny, saying that there was evidence di Stefano had discovered Marie was here, or that he’d found out Digger had paid someone to kill Vince. He’d waited to hear that Marie’s family had been hurt. But none of that happened. The silence was more unnerving than hearing the news itself. Until this was resolved, how the hell could he ask her to consider staying here?
And, he was assuming a lot about how she felt. Sure, they had a great time in bed, but she’d given him no indication that it was anything more to her than a fling. They were twelve years apart, for one thing. She was still young and had friends back home that she talked about all the time.
This wasn’t her home. She missed Brooklyn, even if she never said out loud that she did. How could he ask her to make a new life here? She’d left behind everything, including her family and plenty of unresolved issues. He understood all too well how those ate away at a person until they were taken care of.
But he couldn’t leave. This was his home, and these were his Brothers. This fucking sucked. For the first time in his life, he had no clear answers.
Digger was still talking about their trip when Vassago realized he’d never told Marie they were definitely going. “I have to go.”
“What? Wait a fucking minute. When are we leaving? Jesus Christ, Jimmy. Get your fucking head out of your ass.”
“Dawn. We’ll leave at dawn. Okay?”
“Great. Thanks. And what’s the plan?”
“We already made one. No need to change it, is there?”
“No, I guess not. It bugs me we’ve heard nothing.” A nasty shiver ran down Vassago’s spine as Digger’s words echoed his own earlier thoughts. “We should have.”
“Not if di Stefano can’t figure it out. It’s an advantage. He’ll be in a state of confusion, and that will make this easier for us.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I have to go.” As soon as he left the room, he went into Marie’s room to wait for her. He had to work in the club tonight, but before he went down there and got too busy, he wanted to make sure she knew he’d be gone for a few days, at least. He didn’t want her worrying, and he needed to know she’d be all right here until he returned.
****
Vassago had been too wired to sleep much, even after fucking Marie until his balls ached. It was Digger’s car, so he let him drive and pretended to sleep, but his mind wouldn’t quiet down. Finally, he gave up trying.
“You talk to Donny last night?” asked Digger.
“This morning already. He wasn’t sleeping well, he said.”
“He okay with this?”
Vassago shrugged. “He doesn’t have much of a choice, does he? We gave him a week. This has to be done.”
“And once it is, what are you gonna do about Marie?”
“I don’t know.”
Digger sighed. “You know, I may not be as old as you are, but I know when a man’s in love. And you are, my friend.”
Christ. Did it show that much? “What do you want me to say?”
“That you’ll fucking tell her that, asshole.”
No. No way. And have her give him that look women gave you when they were trying to think of a way out of a conversation? No fucking way. “She just got out of a bad relationship.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You and I both know she never loved Vince. She was doing what every girl who grows up in one of our families does. She was keeping it in a tight circle. We’re raised to do that. All of us. Keep things close. Keep things in the families. Stick to the people you know and trust.”
“So what makes you think she’d want me then? She has a life back home. She has friends she talks about all the time. Her family is there. It’s her roots. Ohio isn’t her home and never will be.”
“So, leave.”
“What?”
“Leave. Leave Ohio, leave the MC, come back to Brooklyn and marry Marie. Buy a fucking house. Have babies with her.”
“You’re out of your fucking mind.” The fact that all of that had crossed his mind was beside the point.
“No, you’re out of your fucking mind. You got hit by the Thunderbolt, my friend. What are you gonna do the rest of your life if you let her go back without you? Fuck the dancers until you get too fucking old and they get too fucking young? You gonna jerk off while you watch them dance when you’re fucking sixty years old, because none of them want to fuck a guy who’s forty years older than they are?”
“Whatever.” It was a lame thing to say, but Digger had nailed him and Vassago knew it.
“Oh, that’s a great answer, Jimmy. Really.”
“You know, for a guy who has never fallen in love, you sure fucking think you know a fucking lot about it.”
“How do you know I haven’t fallen in love?”
“Right. With who?”
“You’re missing my point.”
“I’m not missing your point, Digger. But it’s not that easy.”
“’Course it’s not. Is it fucking supposed to be easy? ‘Cause from where I’m sitting, it looks to me like love is a motherfucking pain in the ass.”
He turned to face Digger. “So why the fuck are you pushing me to tell Marie how I feel?”
“Because you’re a fucking mess. You have been since I brought her here.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to do anything about it.”
“And what if she’s back there right now, thinking the exact same thing about you? That she wishes she had the guts to tell you how she feels, but that she’s afraid you’d laugh or something?”
“She hasn’t given me the slightest indication she’s interested in me for anything more than a good time.” He hated admitting that. And saying it out loud made it more real. This was fucked up royally.
“Bullshit. Like you said, she just got her heart broken. You think s
he’s gonna let on she cares more for you than just for sex? She’s a proud girl, Jimmy. She isn’t gonna put that out there so her heart gets stomped on a second time. You’re gonna have to say it first.”
“All this time you’ve hung around MC members, and you still haven’t picked up on how we live, have you?” He’d be laughed out of the MC if any of the officers could hear this conversation right now.
“Yeah, I have. But you’re still just men underneath all that leather and the ink. And you’re in love with her. So stop acting like a fucking asshole and tell her. Or else you’re gonna lose her, Jimmy. She’s gonna go back to Brooklyn when this is all over, and you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
Chapter Fourteen
Marie was a wreck the entire day. She had Jimmy’s cell phone number, and Digger’s, but she didn’t dare call or even text. Jimmy had asked her not to, for the sake of safely. He assured her he would let her know when it was done, and they were on their way back to Creek Ridge.
But he hadn’t been able to give her a time frame. It could be one day. It could be two weeks. They needed to wait for the perfect moment. While she understood that, this was killing her. Why the hell hadn’t she told him how she felt? That she’d fallen in love with him? At least then he’d know, in case something went wrong.
No! Her mind wouldn’t stop going there, no matter how many times she reminded herself that neither Jimmy nor Digger both were new to this. But falling in love hadn’t been in the plans. Not even with Jimmy. She didn’t do love very well, and Vince was proof of that. What if she let her feelings take flight, and told him, and then fucked it up, the way she had with Vince?
You’re not being fair. That much was true. This wasn’t the same thing. Not even close. And while Jimmy had said things now and then that seemed to indicate he wanted this to be more than just sex, she knew the score. She had watched the other guys in the MC. The ones that didn’t have old ladies. This place was a free-for-all, and the people who lived here liked it that way. Why would she assume Jimmy felt differently?
He never talked about having an old lady, or having kids one day. When she’d asked him if he knew that Kayla and Rai were pregnant, he’d chuckled and said something about Mastema’s and Tannin’s lives never being the same again. That sounded pretty definitive to Marie that he never wanted to find himself in the same situation.
There was literally nothing for her to do here besides nails. Rai and Chloe both let her help cook once in a while, but she felt like she was in their way. They had this down to a science, and it was difficult enough to cook by yourself if your rhythm was thrown off, so she understood when they declined her help.
The club wasn’t open that night, and no one was booked for their nails. She’d done everyone in the building, and some more than once, this past week. They were probably burned out on it for a while.
She wandered into the dining room where they had a wall of books that Liz had told her no one ever read these days, but that they kept because no one wanted to take responsibility for throwing them away.
None of the titles caught Marie’s interest. She’d actually read some of them, but hadn’t liked them enough to read them a second time. As she was about to leave the room, she turned at the sound of footsteps. It was Liz. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself. You okay? You look upset.”
“Just bored.”
Liz walked closer and gave her a sympathetic look. She wasn’t only bored, and Liz noticed that. “They’ll be okay.” Everyone in the club now knew where Jimmy and Digger had gone, and why. The other thing she’d quickly learned about this place was that secrets didn’t stay secrets for very long.
“I wish I believed that.”
Liz took a seat at the massive table. “Want to talk?”
“Are you sure you have time?”
“Of course I have time.”
Marie sat across from her. “Can I ask you a question? You keep talking about wanting to go to law school. How is that going to fit in here with … with this lifestyle?”
Liz smiled. “I can’t tell you how much time I spent asking myself that very question before I finally gave in and admitted my feelings for Rahab.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And he was thinking the same thing about me. That I’d never want to stay here and be his old lady, because I’d worked so hard to get my job and was determined to go through with my goals.”
“How did you two finally get it together?”
“He was at Donny’s house the day the assassin showed up. With Vassago, in fact.”
“What?” Marie hadn’t heard that detail.
“Oops. I thought you knew.”
“I knew there was an attempt on Donny’s life but not that any of these guys were there at the time.”
“Well, they weren’t in danger. They were inside the house, and Donny’s bodyguards squirreled them both into some sort of bunker. He has so many of them. Bodyguards, I mean. They got the guy, so it’s not like Rahab or Vassago would have been hurt. The guy was there for Donny, no one else.”
“But still.” It wouldn’t have changed anything, but she wished she’d known that Jimmy had been there that day.
“So anyway, after that, we both realized how stupid we were being and how short life really is. We confessed our feelings, and here we are.”
“So you’re saying I should tell him how I feel because I might not have a chance to otherwise?”
“Well, that’s true whether he’s in Brooklyn or not, isn’t it? I mean, anything can happen to someone at any time.”
“Yes. That’s true. Problem is, I don’t know if he feels the same way I do.”
Liz laughed. “Um, everyone else in this building is quite sure of that.”
Marie couldn’t speak. Her heart hammered in her ears, and her palms grew damp.
“You can’t see it, can you?” Liz asked.
She shook her head.
“Well, can you at least believe me when I tell you that he’s crazy about you, and it shows in everything he says and does?”
“Why hasn’t he told me?”
This time instead of laughing, Liz snorted. “Because they’re all big, strong, inked men with muscles and motorcycles. God forbid they admit they’ve fallen in love.”
“All men are like that, whether they’re in an MC or not.”
“This is true. Marie, Vassago is nuts about you. I’m one hundred percent sure of it. So if you feel the same way about him, you need to tell him.”
Marie rose and walked over to where Liz sat, leaned down and gave her a big hug. “Thank you.”
Liz hugged her back. “You’re welcome. If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”
“I will. Thank you.”
Once Marie was back in her room, she looked on Google Maps and calculated they were no more than halfway to Brooklyn by now, so she risked a text message to Jimmy.
Thinking of you both. Missing YOU like crazy Just wanted you to know that.
Then she debated for a good ten minutes on whether to reword it, and if she should send it at all. She finally left it as it was and sent it. Almost immediately, the floating dots below it indicated he was texting her back. Marie squealed like a schoolgirl while she waited for the reply.
I miss you, too. Digger is driving like a fucking maniac. We’re more than halfway through PA already.
She laughed. Digger always drove like a maniac, but he could be counted on to get someone where they needed to be on time.
Talk to you soon, Jimmy. Take care of yourself.
I will. You too.
This time, she debated only a moment before replying with a smiling emoji, where the eyes were shaped liked hearts. Her palms grew damp while she waited to see if he would respond, but he did not.
That didn’t mean anything. In her experience, guys used emoji far less than women did, when they used them at all. She’d had to show Vince how to access them on his phone one time. He hadn’t even known they wer
e there.
Marie spent the rest of Sunday torturing herself over whether sending the emoji had been a good idea. This was insane. She felt like she was eleven years old again, crushing on a guy twelve years older than she was, and whose only show of affection had been to ruffle her hair like he’d do to any other kid. A man who had looked at her as nothing more than an underage pre-teen, which had been totally appropriate at the time.
But she wasn’t a kid now. She was a grown woman. And they’d had sex. Lots of sex. Crazy-assed, mind-blowing sex. And you knew when you came here that was all it was meant to be. True. Completely true. Except that now, she wanted more. So much more. She’d fallen head-over-heels in love with the man of her fantasies, and she didn’t have one fucking clue what to do about it.
Chapter Fifteen
The smile emoji with the heart-shaped eyes haunted Vassago for the rest of the trip. He even showed it to Digger, who laughed. “Need any more fucking confirmation she feels the same way?”
“Seriously? That’s how you tell someone? With a picture?”
“I’m just sayin’, she texted you and then she sent that. She’s in love with you, too, asshole. Congratulations.”
“Well I’m not saying anything to her about how I feel over the fucking phone, and with stupid shapes yet.”
Digger had shrugged. “Suit yourself. Okay. We’re home.” Digger picked up his phone and made a call. “Hey, we’re here. My place still safe?”
Vassago couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation. He didn’t even know which of Digger’s associates he had called, but he knew they were watching his place, as well as Marie’s family, for him.
After he disconnected the call, he cut his gaze toward Vassago for a second while he navigated the traffic. “It’s safe.”
“Good.” They had seven alternate places to hang out while they were here, just in case. They had over-planned this to the teeth, but that didn’t bother Vassago. This was the boldest, fucking craziest job he’d ever pulled, and it was better to over-plan than not have enough contingencies.
He wished he could talk to Donny right now, but they had agreed there was to be no communication until it was done, for safety’s sake. Soon, very soon, he’d be making the call to let his cousin know that Roberto di Stefano would never bother any of them again.
