by Terry Fowler
“Leah, honey, don’t cry. It’s okay.”
Cecily’s reassurance made her want to cry harder. “No, it’s not. When they were away, I planned to surprise Mom by doing a little organizing.” Leah gulped back the dread that rose in her throat. “I was cleaning her desk. I thought she had forgotten to put it in the mail.”
Cecily glanced down at the return label. “But she hadn’t?”
Leah nodded, wishing they could backtrack to thirty minutes before when she’d stood in the kitchen telling Cecily to bring her coffee with her. She would have urged her to put it in a travel cup so there would have been no spill, no opening of the glove compartment, no finding that letter.
Total confusion showed in Cecily’s expression and body language. “And you have no idea why she wrote Joseph?”
Leah shook her head. “I don’t even know what it says. Josiah received it at the office. He was upset when he came to my parents’ home to confront my mom.”
“He did what?”
Leah grimaced, turning her head away as her eyes squeezed shut. What should she do? Cecily deserved better than lies and deception.
“He came to the house to confront Mom. To tell her his dad was dead. And how devastated you would have been if you’d received the letter.
“I knew Mom would never intentionally hurt anyone so I got her on the phone and she talked to Josiah. He calmed down after that. You know the rest of the story. While trying to explain what happened I gave him that business card you found and you called me.”
Cecily fingered the envelope. “Why not destroy it?”
Again Leah shrugged. “I have no idea. That’s why Josiah kept it. Said he planned to make sure no one ever saw it again.”
Cecily’s gaze fixed on her. “And you didn’t read it?”
Leah looked directly into Cecily’s cornflower-blue eyes, the same as her son’s. “No. I told Josiah he shouldn’t have, either. It’s private.”
Cecily held up the letter. “Between Marty and Joseph?”
“Yes, ma’am. Josiah says it’s an angry letter.”
“What’s your mother’s maiden name?”
“Washington. Her first name is Martha. She always got teased. That’s why she calls herself Marty.”
“Where did she attend college?”
Leah told her and Cecily said, “With Joseph and Ben.”
“Surely Mom didn’t know...”
“I doubt your mother knew I existed, just as I didn’t know about her. Joseph made sure of that. In fact, I think he may have told me once that Ben had a girlfriend named Marty. You think she would talk to me?”
Leah shook her head. “She doesn’t want to talk about the letter. I feel so bad. I never intended to cause this turmoil for her or for you and Josiah.”
Cecily squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up.”
“Do you really want to know what it says?” Leah feared that whatever had happened between her mother and this woman’s husband could cause Cecily anguish.
Cecily sat, lost in thought. For Leah, this was worse than her mother’s anger.
“Leah, do you believe things happen for a reason?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I do, too. I met Joseph when I was a sophomore in high school. He was a senior. I was wandering down the hall looking for my locker, not paying any attention to where I was going and ran into him. I fell down and he picked me up.
“From the first time I laid eyes on him I knew he’d be my husband one day. It broke my heart when he graduated and went off to college but I knew we’d be together. Just as soon as I graduated I’d join him at college and we’d be a couple again. Not two halves of a whole.”
She laughed. “That’s what I thought. We weren’t whole without each other. He was my first love. My only love. My parents were very strict and I wasn’t allowed to date for another year.
“Joseph and I saw each other at school every day and some of my girlfriends covered for us so we could go out. I’d never done anything like that. If you’d looked up good girl in the dictionary my picture would have been there, but this was different. I loved my parents but I loved Joseph more. I had to be with him.
“After he went off to college, I moped around home for months. They didn’t know about Joseph but they agreed I needed to get out and socialize more. Said they were willing to let me start dating early. But I didn’t want anyone else. I told Joseph I’d wait for him and that was exactly what I planned to do.”
“Did you visit him at college?”
She shook her head. “I waited until he came home for the summer and brought him home to meet my parents. Mom and Dad had no idea. Joseph worked with his dad so except for a few days off when he arrived, he went to work every day and I waited for him to call. He grumbled all summer about having to work. He thought his dad should have let him hang out at the beach with his friends. I could tell things weren’t the same but gradually we started hanging out again. Then summer was over. He left for college and I started my senior year.
“Joseph had pulled away even more when he came home for Christmas that year. He had so much in common with his college friends. A lowly high school senior didn’t compare.
“But I hung on. I called and wrote and sent him care packages of his favorite cookies. I invited him to my senior prom and pleaded with him until he promised to escort me.” Cecily sat, turning the letter over in her hands. “I never intended to trap him.
“We don’t need to be Sherlock to deduce what happened. I think Joseph met your mother in college. I don’t believe he cheated on me after we married but I do believe he took advantage of the opportunities to have other girlfriends when he was away at college.
“And if I’d been open to dating other guys, things would have been different for everyone. Just think, he might have married your mother and you would be his daughter.”
Leah didn’t think that sounded appealing at all. She made a mental note to give her father an extra hug next time she saw him. “You really believe Mom was his girlfriend?”
Cecily nodded. “Yes. I do. Seems my one-sided love affair with Joseph Byrd has hurt a lot of people.” A tiny tear emerged and trickled along Cecily’s high sculpted cheekbone. “Including my son.”
Leah took Cecily’s hand in hers. “Please don’t cry. I do believe things happen for a reason. God didn’t intend for him to be with anyone but you. You loved him and you were a good wife and mother. I know that. Not because Josiah tells me but because I can see the kind of person you are. Decisions were made by everyone involved and they were the right ones. You were married for over thirty years. A man doesn’t spend that kind of time with a woman he doesn’t love.”
Cecily squeezed her hand. “Thanks, sweetie. College presented Joseph with a life he’d never experienced. Finally, he was free of his parents and free of me. He could do whatever he wanted.” She lifted the letter again. “And if your mom wrote this letter in anger, he probably did things she never thought he’d do.”
“You’re not upset?”
She shrugged. “I suppose I could be but where do I direct that anger? Toward my dead husband? Your mother? Myself? His parents? What purpose would being upset serve? He’s dead. I can’t ask what he did and I don’t think it serves any purpose to find out now. If I decide he did me wrong and spend the rest of my life as an angry, unforgiving widow, I’m the loser, not Joseph.”
This response sparked hope in Leah. “That’s what I want Josiah to understand. That anger hurts no one but him.”
Cecily smiled broadly. “Just keep telling him that. And thanks for telling me the truth.”
“Josiah has to grasp it for himself. I can’t make him understand. As for the truth, he’s going to be furious with me. He’s been terrified the truth would come out. Terrified you would be hurt.”
That bothered Leah.
“I feel God brought you into our lives for a very specific purpose and if this letter guided you to us, thank God your mother wrote it. You’re an answer to my prayers.”
Not wanting Cecily to attach more to the situation, Leah said, “We’re only dating.”
“Are you attracted to Josiah?”
There were many things about him she liked. She had experienced something from the first time they laid eyes on each other. She hadn’t wanted him to be angry with her or her mother. And she hadn’t been able to forget him. She nodded.
“And he’s attracted to you. One day my son is going to open his eyes and see what’s standing right before him. He wants it all, the wife, the children and the home with the white picket fence.”
“Isn’t that a fantasy?”
“Not at all. When you really want something, you make it happen.”
Leah wanted the same things. He’d once told her he didn’t like her stirring up his world but he’d done some stirring of his own. And if Cecily was right and this was what God wanted for them, it could be for a lifetime.
“I hope your mom and I share more than Joseph.”
Leah considered her own curiosity and wondered how Cecily could survive without knowing the truth. Particularly if that letter continued to surface at inconvenient times.
“Joseph was a good husband and provider. We were happy. He respected me as his wife and I respected him as my husband. We raised a fine son who I pray will one day give me grandchildren. That’s what I look forward to now, Leah. The future.”
“I’m sorry, Cecily.”
Cecily eyed her crossly. “Do you have a Josiah complex? Are you trying to take the blame for something that happened before you were born?”
“If I’d left that letter alone no one would have known. Josiah would be moving on with his life just as you are.”
“But you wouldn’t be there. This is a good thing, Leah. And this letter is going to die with us.” Cecily replaced the envelope in the glove box. “You should ask Josiah what he did with it and remind him to trash it before I change my mind.”
“So you aren’t going to read the letter?”
She shook her head. “As you said, it’s private. I’d prefer to forget its existence.”
“You think Josiah can?”
Cecily smiled slyly as she glanced sideways at Leah. “Maybe if someone gives him something more important to think about.”
“Like what?”
Cecily laughed. “How much he loves you, of course. Now let’s get rid of these boxes before I change my mind about them.”
Leah managed a smile as she started the truck and drove away.
Chapter 12
As the days moved forward, Leah and Josiah managed to see each other a couple of times a week. One night, Susan and Eddie invited them over for a cookout. Afterward, they watched a movie and talked. Leah liked the way he fitted in with her friends.
Thanks to Cecily’s referrals, Leah had picked up a few more jobs. No one wanted an extensive organization but she’d done a garage, a closet and a family room. One lady gave her sister a session with Clutterfree for her birthday. The sister took it well and they made great progress in her office.
Leah couldn’t say for sure that she’d won the client over but she’d attacked the job with vigor and hadn’t wanted to quit when their time was up. Leah suggested they continue but the woman couldn’t pay her rate. Who knew? Maybe the sister would give her another day of organization for Christmas.
With the cutbacks at Cecily’s, Leah worried but she had been able to pay this month’s bills with a little money left over.
That afternoon Leah drove to her parents’ house. They were going to place Champ’s ashes in the garden. She parked in the driveway and hit the trunk release. Cramming her keys in her pocket, she lifted her surprise. Holding the heavy package carefully, she closed the trunk and entered the backyard through the side gate.
Her parents were in the back corner under the shade trees, Champ’s favorite place during the summer months. She placed the package on the ground and kissed their cheeks. Her father used the shovel to scrape back the mulch and dig a small hole.
“Are we sprinkling or burying?”
Ben shoveled the hole slightly deeper. “Burying. I loved Champ but I don’t much care for the idea of him blowing in my face when I’m on the patio. What’s in the package?”
Leah went down on her knees in the grass and turned it over so they could see. “I thought a stepping-stone would make the perfect marker for Champ.”
Marty nodded. “That’s lovely.”
“I used the colorful stones to remind us of the joy he brought into our lives.” She touched a ceramic butterfly she had included. “Remember how he loved to chase the butterflies?”
“And the birds,” Marty reminisced. “I gave up hope of ever bird-watching again.”
Ben nodded. “I spent many mornings drinking my coffee right here on this patio while Champ chased his nemeses. The squirrels loved to taunt him by running on the fence and up the trees. All he could do was bark and do that little jump of his. Kept thinking I’d film it sometime but never did.”
Leah managed a teary smile as she traced her finger along his name.
Marty squeezed her daughter’s shoulder. “It’s perfect.”
Each took turns sprinkling the ashes from the bag her mother had picked up from the vet’s office.
“Does anyone want to say anything?”
Marty and Leah shook their heads, too choked up to speak. Ben took their hands and they all bowed their heads in silent prayer.
Afterward, he shoveled the dirt back in place and placed the stepping-stone over the spot. Then he arranged the mulch. “There. Rest in peace, old friend.”
“Amen.”
They walked back to the patio and Marty began deadheading some of the flowers they’d put out for the party. “These could do with water.”
Ben pulled out the hose and showered the pots and beds. He playfully aimed the hose at Leah’s bare feet. She’d shed her flip-flops in the lush grass.
“Daddy, stop. You’ll get us wet.”
He waggled the sprayer and grinned at her. Leah watched him as she stood and carried the handful of dead flowers over to the trash container and picked up the basket her mother used for the task. “Josiah said you two played a round of golf last week.”
Ben nodded. “We did. He’s good. He invited me the day of the party.”
Her mother seemed to focus more on the work when she spoke. “Leah, your dad and I thought maybe you and Josiah would like to come for dinner Friday night. We could do something simple. Maybe steak, potato and salad.”
Leah’s heart gave a little leap of joy as she held the container so her mother could dispose of her debris. Marty moved to the next bed and began pulling weeds. “I’ll ask. He likes steak. And I want you to get to know him better.”
Marty looked up at her daughter. “So this relationship is serious?”
Leah shrugged, grinning happily as she threw her hands out, palms up. “I’m clueless. We enjoy spending time together. Something I didn’t think would happen after our first meeting. I’m so glad he’s not holding a grudge.”
“Not a trait you want in the man you love.”
“Of course I don’t know how he’ll react to my most recent news.”
Ben stopped weeding to look at her. “What have you done now?”
“I’m innocent this time.” Leah shared the incident with Cecily and the letter. “She didn’t read it. Cecily says not to tell him. I’m tempted. I know he’s going to be furious when he finds out. He’s been almost crazed with fear that it would happen.”
“Maybe she has a point.”
Leah eyed her dad. “You’ve always told me to tell the truth.”
He nodded and rubbed his hand over his lower face. “And you should. I just hate that you’ll be the one to suffer when it’s not your fault.”
Marty’s gaze moved from her husband to Leah. “I agree. Josiah shouldn’t blame you.”
“His dad really did a number on him.”
“I can’t believe Joseph would treat his son like that. Doesn’t sound at all like the young man we knew.”
Leah stood and dusted her hands off. “Do you think maybe he changed after he came home? He and Cecily lived with the Byrds after they married.”
Ben shook his head. “Poor Joseph. Jim Byrd had a one-track mind when it came to what he believed Joseph needed out of life. There was already a family business so in Jim’s eyes he didn’t need to waste his time with sports and college. Joe was pretty sure his parents wouldn’t pay for him to go. He worked hard to get a scholarship.”
Leah reached for one of the water bottles resting on the coffee table. She twisted off the cap and took a long drink. “Cecily said her parents insisted that Joseph finish college so he could be a better provider for their daughter. They even paid for his education.”
“I doubt that went over well with Jim,” Ben said.
“And it was a waste since he went to work for his father anyway,” Marty added.
Leah glanced at her mother. “I’m sure he learned enough business practices to make improvements in the business.”
Ben grabbed a water bottle. After he downed half the bottle, he said, “If Jim let him. My impression was that he was one of those men who always believed his way was the only way.”
“That must be where Joseph got it from,” Marty said.
Leah glanced from her father to her mother. “Really? You saw that trait in him? I see it in Josiah at times. Particularly with this thing with the letter and his mom.”
“Why is he so protective of her?”
Leah understood her mom’s curiosity. “I really don’t know. She’s very self-sufficient. Cecily said Joseph’s mom wasn’t in the best of health and she cared for her and Josiah. I imagine they were all very close.”
