by Paula Quinn
A quarter of an hour later, she watched the ship leave the bay and sail off in the moonlight.
As soon as she ceased crying she would concentrate on forgetting him. How difficult could it be? But even as she questioned it, she heard the sound of his laughter in the rushing waves. She saw the quirk of his rakish smile in the pale moonlight sprinkled over water. When a cool, floral-scented breeze caressed her skin, she felt his arms around her, his breath against her.
“Ye did the right thing sending him away.”
She closed her eyes at Kyle’s voice behind her. How could he understand when he hadn’t loved yet? “It doesna’ feel right.” She hated her voice for breaking on a sob.
Her cousin went to her and closed his arms around her. He didn’t say anything. He just held her.
“D’ye remember the maps in yer books?” She lifted her head, wiped her eyes, and asked him. “Where is Madagascar?”
“It lies off the southeastern coast of Africa, in the Indian Ocean.” He let her go and drew a map in the wet sand, showing her where they were and where Madagascar was.
She sniffed, looking at it. “I wanted to go. I wanted to go with him, Kyle. Grow old with him. I was selfish and put my own needs first… and put him in danger. If he were to be hurt…” She didn’t finish. She couldn’t.
“There now,” her cousin comforted her. “He willna’ be hurt. Whoever comes looking for him will be directed to Dominica.”
She looked up at him through tear-stained eyes. “Ye wanted to go with him too, did ye not?”
“Aye, I did. ’Twould have been quite an adventure, but I would prefer to keep him safe from Mr. Andersen.”
“How will ye do that?” She sniffed.
“Well, if the Dutchman does indeed sail with our kin, they likely dinna’ know of his treachery. Of course, I aim to tell them, but if he realizes that Alex is on to him, he might also suspect that the captain isn’t sailing to Dominica. We canna’ let on right away that we know, or that David Pierce is involved.”
Trina nodded. She would do whatever it took to keep Alex safe. “He was so angry and disappointed.” She began to cry again. Och, would it ever stop? Would the pain ever stop? “He isna’ afraid of our kin. He has no idea what they might do if they believe he kidnapped us and brought us harm. He doesna’ believe my reasons fer staying behind. He thinks… He thinks… I’ve betrayed his heart. I could see it in his eyes, Kyle!” she sobbed pitifully against his chest, not bothering to hide her feelings from him. She was easy to read.
“Come,” he prompted as the ship’s outline disappeared with the setting sun. “Let us eat and take rest. There’s nothing more to be done fer now.”
Trina didn’t want to eat and when she slept her dreams were filled with Alex. The next day was no better. It offered her no solace, save that she had no more tears to shed. She felt empty and drained of energy. Worse, she missed him more with every second that passed. Kyle tried to help but in the end, he left her alone. Charlie and Anjali walked behind her for most of the next day, as if they expected her to throw herself into the waves and end her life. They urged her to eat, to help with the day’s chores. She did. But nothing helped.
“When his father took heem from us, me mother wept fer a month,” Anjali told her while they ground wheat with stones. “He often led me into trubble, but me mother loved heem nonedeeless.”
Trina didn’t want to hear about how well Alex was loved because despite it, he’d stayed away. It reminded her that he would never ever return to her.
“When he came back dee first time wit Sam, ’twas like he’d been raised from dee dead. Dere was much celebration. He brought gifts, provin’ he hadn’t fergotten us. After dat, we didn’t see him much, but he always came back. Dis is his home.”
“Was he forgiven?” she asked softly.
“Fer what?”
Trina smiled for the first time since she told Alex she wasn’t going with him. He’d stayed away from his home for so many years, but no one cared what he’d become. Just as she suspected, they loved him regardless, as her family would have loved her had she become a pirate.
“I wish he understood why I didn’t go with him,” she said on a withering sigh.
“He will. Soon as his heart mends. It might take a little time, but he will come to realize dat ya did what ya did because ya love heem.”
She nodded, grateful to Anjali and Kyle for trying to help her feel better. But nothing would help.
Not even when she saw the brig sailing into the harbor or her father and brother rowing one of the lifeboats toward the shore.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Caitrina didn’t realize how much she’d missed her father until she was in his arms. When he whispered into her hair, “I feared I’d lost ye, my daughter.” The tears she thought were finished began again. Och, had she truly been so selfish, not just with Alex, but with her kin, also? How could she just leave them without so much as a farewell? She’d thought only about what she wanted, not how the folks who loved her would feel if she disappeared from their lives. What had she put her father through? Her mother? Aye, she was a woman with her own dreams and desires, and she still wanted to live them. But she’d grown up living in the real world this last month, and in the future, she would do things right.
“Fergive me fer putting ye through so much worry, Papa. I am unharmed.”
He smiled, exposing twin dimples as deep as hers.
“Where is Captain Kidd?” Her uncle Rob came around her and kissed her head while she savored her reunion with her father. She smiled, glancing at Kyle, who was caught in his father’s tight embrace.
“He left,” she told them. She was glad to see them and relieved that Alex had gone just in time to miss them by a day. There definitely would have been blood had they found him here. Besides her uncles, Will and her brothers had come, and her cousins, as well. They’d come to fight.
“He didn’t hurt me or Kyle,” she said, looking at her cousin for confirmation. He gave it. “I wasna’ kid—”
“Where did he go?” A man, who Trina recognized to be Mr. Andersen, stepped forward and interrupted her. “We’ve been to half a dozen islands already looking for him.”
“Mayhap”—she turned her most practiced smile on the lanky Dutchman—“we can speak of him after my kin have filled their bellies and dried their boots by a fire.” She didn’t want to speak of him. What if she began to cry? She wouldn’t. Now was the time to gather her strength and make certain her sacrifice wasn’t all for naught.
“Papa? Uncles?” She turned to them and in earnest, said, “Please eat something warm and not crawling with weevils. After that we will discuss what has happened. It’s been a trying ordeal fer me.” She patted her palm against her forehead, knowing exactly how to get the men in her family to concede. Every woman in Camlochlin knew. “I would take rest and comfort in your presence before having to relive it all again.” She wasn’t being deceitful to them. She intended on telling her father how she felt about Alex and what she wanted in her life, but she wanted to give Alex more time to get farther away.
“My dear.” Mr. Andersen held up a finger to stop her when she would have turned toward the village. “No one is asking you to relive anything. We all know what the pirate is capable of doing. Just tell me where he went so that I may personally see that you have justice.”
Trina wanted to punch him in the jaw, but her uncle Colin did it for her. She thought she saw a tooth go flying before Andersen slumped to the ground, out cold. Her uncle glanced at his chief and older brother.
“I told ye I was going to do it, Rob. I told ye I could tolerate only so much of his lying tongue before I broke his jaw.”
“Ye didna’ break it,” William pointed out after a quick examination of the victim.
“Then there’s still opportunity,” Colin muttered and picked up his steps toward the village.
Trina adored her uncle Colin, but something cold passed through her blood. He was a warrior, they al
l were. They would have hurt Alex, perhaps killed him. She wanted them to know the truth. Alex was a good man, regardless of being a pirate. She wondered if it would matter to them. What would they think when she told them she loved him? She needed to tell them, tell her father, at least. Even if she never saw Alex again, she wanted her family to know the truth.
“He’s correct,” she told them, looking over her shoulder at the abandoned heap in the sand. “Mr. Andersen betrayed his captain, and has set the navy after his captain’s son.”
Her father followed her gaze and then looked at her. “There is indeed much to discuss over a full belly.”
“Papa, they season their pork in something called jerk. Ye will melt.”
He smiled with her, it being one of the things she loved most about him, his easy smile. But just as easily as it appeared did it vanish. “Ye’re certain ye’re unharmed?”
“Papa, he was kind to me even after he found me stowed away on his ship.”
He stopped walking, and so did the men in earshot. “Ye… stowed away?”
She nodded and forged on ahead while he still wore that stunned look. “He could have thrown me and Kyle overboard but kindly planned to drop us off in France, where I, thoroughly repentant, would have sought Uncle Connor Stuart’s house and joined grand—”
“Caitrina?” her father cut her off. “Ye chose to go with him?”
“Not with him, nae. With his ship. But aye, I did want to leave Camlochlin.”
“She’s tried to speak to ye aboot it fer years now,” her brother Malcolm said, being the first to pick up his steps.
Her poor father looked about to be sick. She felt terrible, but this had to be done. She handed him off to Charlie and asked that he seat him beside her place. She would join him in a few moments.
“Thank ye fer standing with me just now,” she said, looping her arm through her brother’s. Malcolm had always been her favorite, fearless and a bit reckless, like her.
Behind a lock of sun-burnished hair, his turquoise gaze fell on her. For a moment, Trina pitied any lass who wasn’t his kin. “What have ye been up to, Caitie?”
“Living a great adventure with a pirate who has fallen in love with me.”
Her brother raised his brows. “And yer heart? Is it so stricken?”
She couldn’t help but smile at his description of love. “Aye,” she told him quietly. “’Tis so stricken.”
For the first time, she witnessed something fazing her brother. He looked as ill as her father had moments ago. “Hell.” His eyes darted to their father. “He willna’ take this well.”
“Aye, I know, Cal. I sent Alex… Captain Kidd away to keep him safe from all of ye. But my heart longs fer him. The thought of never seeing him again is agony. Och, ye dinna’ understand.”
He took her in his arms when her tears began again and kissed the top of her head. “There now, Caitie, dinna’ weep.”
Trina didn’t care what lasses said about her rakish brother. He was wonderful to her.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Captain Alexander Kidd sat on his bed in his cabin and stared at his map, the map his father had given to David Pierce. Alex had known that the Quedagh Merchant was worth much—namely, his father’s life. Everyone was after it, the navy, the throne, the stately politicians in New York and probably Boston, and Hendrik Andersen.
Alex thought he wanted it, too. But he didn’t care anymore about riches. He’d left his treasure on Parrot Cay.
He understood Caitrina’s fears about her family but he could have handled them. He was certain of it. It was his beloved who had so little faith in him. She was a stubborn wench and would not change her mind no matter how hard he argued. He was stunned and speechless by her decision not to come with him to Madagascar. He still couldn’t believe she wasn’t here with him now. He shouldn’t have left her. He should have fought harder. No. He’d done everything he could to change her mind. She wouldn’t be moved. She didn’t want her family to hurt him. The thing was, how long would it have taken for them to find him if she’d gone on with him? No one knew about Madagascar save Pierce. The MacGregors and Grants didn’t know. They wouldn’t have followed. She could have stayed with him if she truly wanted to. Perhaps she didn’t want to.
He tossed the map onto his bed and stood up. It didn’t matter. He was better off without her. Why the hell was he feeling so down? He’d done well without her before. He’d be fine without her now. He ran his fingers through his hair, wanting to yank out every strand. Damn her. She wouldn’t leave his thoughts. He’d push her out. He’d exorcize her the way he’d seen them do on Parrot Cay when someone was believed to be possessed of an evil spirit.
Someone knocked on the door.
Alex bid entry and turned toward the table when he saw Sam. “Where are we?”
“Come out and see,” his friend said, and followed when Alex flung himself into a chair. “Ya’ve been in here since yesterday. Come out and let the salty air cleanse ya.”
“Cleanse me of what?” Alex brooded.
“Of her.”
“Sam—”
“Hear me, old friend.” Sam cut him off before he could deny that he needed cleansing. “I know what she means to ya. I was there when ya offered me brother yar map rather than give her up. She’s taken yar heart—the once believed unattainable heart of the rogue Captain Kidd.”
Damn him, he made Alex think of her… the way her lustrous locks fell perfectly around her face. The delicate curve of her nose and the way her smiles always began in her eyes. Hell, he loved the musical lilt in her voice and the way she said certain words.
He leaned his head back on his chair and closed his eyes to see her more clearly. “I’ve grown accustomed to havin’ her around, that’s all.”
“Aye,” Sam agreed just as quietly. “As have we all. The crew misses her.”
She’d won his damn crew. What other woman could ever achieve such a feat?
Alex opened his eyes. He poured himself some rum and downed it. “It may take me a day or two, to quit thinkin’ about the world in her eyes, but soon enough she’ll leave my head, just as the rest of them have.”
This time, Sam remained silent. Then, glancing at the jug of rum on the table, asked, “Is that gunpowder rum?”
“Aye, ’tis.” Alex reached for another cup and filled it. “Here, brother. Let’s drink to something, shall we?”
“Aye.” Sam held up his cup.
“To whores. They don’t bother with pretense.”
“Alex—” Sam tried, setting down his cup, still full.
Alex held up his finger to halt his friend’s words until he could refill his cup. When he did, he forgot whose turn it was to toast. “To a brother who didn’t betray me and who forgave me for thinking he did.”
Sam picked up his cup and hit it against his friend’s. “And to startin’ over, no matter how many times ya must do it.”
“Here here!” Alex put the cup to his lips and tossed back his head.
He suspected the sinking, sickening feeling in his gut meant that he didn’t want to start over but go back. Go back and make things right with her. Convince her that once her family knew how much he loved her, they would no longer want his head. If they didn’t want her with a pirate, then he would become a farmer, a tanner, a blacksmith. Whatever the hell they needed in Camlochlin. But he was drunk and he might not feel this way tomorrow. There was gunpowder in his rum. He wouldn’t remember anything at all.
He smiled and stood up. “I think I will come out and see what the men be up to.” He reached for his tricorn hat and fit it surprisingly neatly on his head. “Where did ya say we were?”
“About two hours off the West African coast,” Sam told him while he followed him out. “The wind has been good.”
Alex groaned when he stepped onto the quarterdeck and a warm breeze drifted over his face. “I fergot how dreadfully dank and hot ’tis here, even at night. She probably would have liked it. Sam?”
“A
ye.”
“She didn’t complain much, did she? We all know the challenge of bein’ on a ship fer the first time. Hell, yar brother still falls ill from the waves.” If he was closer to the rail, he might have considered tossing himself over. Was this what it was going to be like for him now? Would even gunpowder rum not cure him of her for even a few hours? He wanted to forget her, not tomorrow or the day after that. But right now.
“Do ya know how many splinters I took out of her feet?” he asked Sam. “Yet she didn’t falter in her determination to remain barefoot.”
“She ate everything placed before her once she got used to the bugs,” Sam joined in. “Even when weevils had burrowed into the biscuits and the fruit went bad.”
“Aye.” Alex smiled for the first time since he left her.
He closed his eyes and swayed on his feet. “Let’s ferget her, Sam. Aye?”
“’Tis not goin’ to be easy, Alex.”
If not for the effects of the rum, Alex might have taken notice of the wretched earnestness in his friend’s eyes and in his voice. Alex might have considered a possibility that hadn’t occurred to him before. Of course Sam loved Caitrina. All the men did. She’d bewitched them with her sparkling sapphire eyes and her playful dimples. How could they resist her?
If he remembered any of this tomorrow, he might ask Sam exactly what he thought of Caitrina Grant.
“Who’s at the helm?”
“Cooper,” Sam informed him.
“Tell him we’re goin’ back to Parrot Cay fer her.”
“Aye, Alex. I’ll go tell him that while ya go to the galley. The natives prepared fer us tarts and pies fer our journey. Me brother boarded an hour ago with some of his men and I’d have ya eat some of the fresh desserts before they are all gone or spoil.”
