by Shyla Colt
My first-born little star,
You were the X chromosome that first made me a mother—one of my two most significant accomplishments. You’ve always marched to the beat of a different drummer. I see so much of myself in you. You’re passionate, giving, and vibrant. I admire how brightly you shine. Never let anyone dull that. It’s harder to get back than you can comprehend.
I know right now you’re second-guessing your decision to go on tour. Don’t. It was a privilege to see you living your dream. It’s all your father and I have ever really wanted. For you and Fiona to find your purpose and live to the fullest. I’ll miss that and so many other moments with Fiona. It breaks my heart. You always think you have time until you don’t.
Thank you for sharing your journey from the road. The pictures, emails, and gifts helped me through the tough days. I vowed to do everything I could to get as much time as possible with our family. I believe I did that to the best of my ability. There comes a time when one must not stop fighting but accept the inevitability of one’s situation.
Fiona is becoming a young woman who’ll need a female she can trust and look up to for guidance. I am asking you to be that person. I never wanted to clip your wings, but your father will be lost, and I cannot let Fiona get misplaced in the shuffle while he figures things out. They’ll both require your help no matter how much they protest or insist otherwise.
Be there for them since I can’t. See Fiona through her senior year. Make up for the ruin of her sixteenth birthday, do all the things you know I would’ve. Never forget how proud I am of the woman you’ve become. You were meant to bring the world beauty and compassion. Your heart is as big as the ocean. I’ll be watching over you, protecting, guiding, and loving.
Your Mother
Tears splatter onto the page as the dam holding back my volatile emotions breaks. Crying silently, I begin to make a mental checklist of the things I need to do to get back to town.
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