Miss Emily Stevenson: In a court-martial a judge advocate is generally appointed to act as the prosecutor.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: This is not a court-martial. As we are all judges and, if we wish, defense attorneys, so we are also all prosecuting attorneys. Now is there anything else? Any more questions about procedure before we summon Mister McBurney?
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: (after a pause) I believe there are no more questions, sister.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Very well then. Now generally we will conduct this meeting very much in the same manner as our lessons. When you are called on, answer quickly, briefly and truthfully. If you wish to speak at other times, or if you wish to leave the room for a moment, raise your hand. Let your questions and remarks be pertinent. Do not speak to the accused directly, but if he questions you, direct your answers to me. All right then, where is the accused?
Mattie Farnsworth: He’s in the parlor. Leastways he was there this morning when I took his breakfast in to him and I ain’t heard him stirring around since that time.
Miss Alice Simms: He’s been out of the parlor at least once since he had his breakfast. I saw him coming up the stairs from the wine cellar with three bottles under his arm.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: It will be a mercy for all of us when that wine is all gone.
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: It may be all gone now, sister. If he had three bottles, that may be almost the last of it.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Thank the Almighty for that. Mattie, will you go to the parlor and inform Mister McBurney that he is invited to join us in here.
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: Wait, sister. Since some of the matters which may be discussed here will be of a very private nature, do you think it is wise to have Mister McBurney in attendance?
Miss Martha Farnsworth: These matters concern him, sister. We intend to speak of nothing but what concerns him.
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: Even so, it may be embarrassing for some of these young ladies to speak of these matters in front of him.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: I don’t care if they are embarrassed, they must suffer that. I do want to know if any of you are reluctant to the point of refusing to speak in his presence. Is this the case with any of you?
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: (after a pause) Apparently no one will refuse to speak, sister.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: What about yourself, sister?
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: I will not refuse.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Very well then. Go along and summon him, Mattie.
(During this period there were some incidental remarks which I am including since they occurred while the meeting was still officially in progress.)
Miss Martha Farnsworth: What are you doing, Miss?
Miss Marie Deveraux: I’m trying to catch a fly which is pestering me.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Sit quietly and he will not bother you. You, Miss, what is that picture you are drawing?
Miss Alice Simms: (putting aside her pen) Nothing.
Miss Marie Deveraux: It’s a dagger piercing a heart.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: The question wasn’t addressed to you, Miss. I would suggest, Miss Alice, that if you have the ink and the space in your exercise book to spare, you use it to practice your multiplication tables or your French verbs.
Miss Emily Stevenson: He may not come willingly at all. We may have to tie him up and drag him in here.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: There’ll be nothing of that sort. If he doesn’t want to listen to the charges brought against him, that is his prerogative.
Miss Marie Deveraux: I believe he’ll come all right. Today happens to be his birthday and maybe he’ll think we’ve arranged some sort of party for him.
(At this time Mister John McBurney did enter the room on his crutches followed by Mattie. He was wearing his uniform, which Mattie had evidently repaired and pressed for him. He was clean shaven and neatly combed and nearly sober.)
Corporal McBurney: Good afternoon to you all, ladies. I thought maybe you were serving the lunch in here today instead of in the dining room.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Mister McBurney, we have called this meeting to consider charges against you. Will you stay and listen to them?
Corporal McBurney: To be sure, Miss Martha. If people are going to talk about me, I’m bound to stay and hear what’s said. There’s not many young fellows get that chance, you know, to hear a lot of fine ladies open up their hearts about them. Of course, I may have to straighten you out though, if you say bad things about me.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: We intend to say nothing but the truth here, Mister McBurney, and if you are capable of it we would ask you to do the same. Is that clear, sir?
Corporal McBurney: Crystal clear, ma’am.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Will you take that chair, sir?
Corporal McBurney: (sitting) If such be your desire, ma’am.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Very well then, we will proceed. John McBurney, we are gathered here today. . . .
Corporal McBurney: To unite me and Mattie in holy matrimony!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: (rapping the teacup) Be quiet, sir! If you will not be orderly, you must leave! Now once again, John McBurney, we are gathered here to investigate the validity of several charges of grave and criminal misconduct on your part as well as several charges involving lesser offenses. (Looking at charges listed on blank page of her Book of Common Prayer.) The lesser offenses include dishonesty in speech, cursing and using vulgar language in the presence of ladies and children, drinking to excess and appearing in a drunken condition in the presence of ladies and children.
Corporal McBurney: I offer you all my most sincere apologies for those things, ladies.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: The major offenses with which you are charged include the breaking and damaging of school property, the theft of money and valuable articles, grievous assault on a member of this household, threatening violence to other household members and several criminal offenses of a sexual nature which we will not name at the present time.
Corporal McBurney: Oh why not name them, ma’am? We’re all friends here.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: They will be identified at the proper time.
Corporal McBurney: It’s all lies, all of that. I didn’t steal anything or threaten anybody except as a joke. I did break a chair or two by accident. I’ll pay for that as soon as I get work.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Do you have anything else to say in answer to these charges?
Corporal McBurney: No, ma’am. I’ll let you tell me all about the rest of it.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Do you plead guilty to all the lesser charges?
Corporal McBurney: Yes, yes.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Then with your permission we will not waste any time in discussing the lesser charges but instead turn our attention now to the more serious charges.
Corporal McBurney: It’s all lies, all of that. I didn’t steal anything.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Very well then, we will take up the first offense in the second group . . . the breaking and damaging of school property.
Corporal McBurney: I plead guilty to that too.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Do you wish me to name the various items of property?
Corporal McBurney: No, that won’t be necessary. I’ll take your word for it, Miss Martha. If you’ve put a few extra dishes or an odd wine glass or two in there, it’s all right with me. I don’t mind payin you a bit extra in return for the grand and glorious time I’ve had here.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Very well then, we will proceed to the next item on the list . . . the theft of money and other valuable articles. This is a matter which concerns me personally, Mister McBurney. I charge you with stealing two hundred dollars in Federal gold coins from my room, a set of keys on a ring and a valuable gold ornament on a gold chain.<
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Corporal McBurney: You must be mad.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Do you deny all knowledge of the money and the articles?
Corporal McBurney: You know I had the locket. I gave it to you in the wine cellar a few nights ago. It can’t have much value for you the way you stepped on it and smashed it.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Do you deny having the key ring?
Corporal McBurney: No, I admit having the key ring and I’m keeping it too for my own protection. Being a cripple and all and not able to move very fast, I wouldn’t want to be locked up here anywhere, you know, in case there was ever a fire or an earthquake or something like that.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Has anyone threatened to lock you up?
Corporal McBurney: They couldn’t, could they, not as long as I have the keys. I’m keeping them safe and I’ll give them back to you when I leave.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Meanwhile you will use them to loot every room and cupboard in this house.
Corporal McBurney: That’s not fair, ma’am. I haven’t entered any room here yet without permission, except the downstairs rooms, which aren’t locked, and the wine cellar.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: You entered my room in order to take the keys and steal the money and the jewelry.
Corporal McBurney: That’s not so! I didn’t take any money and the keys and the locket were given to me.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: By whom?
Corporal McBurney: By somebody here.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: You’re lying, Mister McBurney.
Corporal McBurney: I’m not lying, dammit! I was never in your room! I admit having the keys but I’ve never used them except for the wine cellar and that cabinet over there where you had that old pistol. Hell, I’ll give them back to you now if they mean that much to you and let you just try locking me up anywhere. I’ll show you how fast I can break a door down if you try any tricks like that.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: And the money, will you return that too?
Corporal McBurney: I don’t have your Goddam money!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Then who does have it?
Corporal McBurney: I don’t know!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Very well, Mister McBurney. We seem to have reached an impasse in this matter so we will proceed to the next charge. I have questioned Miss Alice Simms privately this morning, Mister McBurney, and she admits to having improper relations with you. . . .
Corporal McBurney: Does she?
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Which she says were forced on her by you.
Corporal McBurney: She lies!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: She states that you threatened to inflict bodily harm on her unless she consented.
Corporal McBurney: That’s a damn lie and you know it, Alice! Why did you say that? Answer me, Alice, why did you!
Miss Alice Simms: My name is Alicia . . . and I’m not supposed to talk with you. . . .
Corporal McBurney: She’s lying, Miss Martha, and I’ll tell you something else . . . she’s the one who took the key ring and the locket from your room, and probably the money too.
Miss Alice Simms: I didn’t, Miss Martha, I swear I didn’t!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Be quiet, Miss Alice. Mister McBurney, you are charged with having carnal knowledge of this fifteen-year-old girl.
Corporal McBurney: She’s seventeen or eighteen for God’s sake! Look at her! She told me herself she was eighteen!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Do you deny the charge?
Corporal McBurney: Don’t you see how she’s lying about her age so’s you’ll keep her on here?
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Do you deny going to this girl’s bedroom late at night?
Corporal McBurney: No, but. . . .
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Do you deny forcing your way into her room? Do you deny forcing her to consent to you?
Corporal McBurney: I didn’t force her to do anything for God’s sake!
Miss Alice Simms: He did, Miss Martha! He did everything you said. He made me do bad things . . . and he stole your keys and the locket . . . and the money too!
Corporal McBurney: It’s lies, all lies! Listen, I’ll tell you the truth about the keys. I asked her to get them for me, but nothing else! I didn’t ask her to take anything else!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Mister McBurney, do you deny having sexual relations with this fifteen-year-old girl?
Corporal McBurney: She’s not fifteen, Goddamit!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Do you deny the charge?
Corporal McBurney: No, no, I don’t deny it!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Very well, we will move on to the next charge. You are also accused of having an improper relationship with Miss Edwina Morrow.
Corporal McBurney: Who’s charging me with that? Did Edwina say that?
Miss Edwina Morrow: (drawing pictures in her exercise book) I don’t remember saying it.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Miss Edwina, do you deny that anything of the sort happened between you and Mister McBurney?
Miss Edwina Morrow: (still drawing pictures) I’m not denying that it happened. I’m denying that I said it happened.
Corporal McBurney: (arising and leaning forward on his crutches) Nothing happened between you and me. You say that it did and I’ll fix you, my girl. I’ll fix you proper, I will!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Pay no attention to him, Miss Edwina. Pay no attention to his threats. Now it has been stated that McBurney forced himself on you as he did with Miss Alice.
Corporal McBurney: Did she say that? Did Edwina say that?
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Miss Alice has said it. Miss Alice has stated that Miss Edwina told her about it.
Corporal McBurney: By God I’ll say something about Miss Edwina!
Miss Edwina Morrow: I didn’t, I didn’t! Johnny, I didn’t tell anyone anything!
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: Sister, it seems to me we are concerning ourselves with a lot of hearsay evidence.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Be quiet, sister. We are not depending on it. Now, Miss Edwina, you must not be frightened by this fellow’s threats. He is not going to harm your reputation or anyone else’s. The evil he has done here will be forgotten by all of us. And I can promise you it’s never going to happen again.
Miss Edwina Morrow: I swear I didn’t tell Alice anything. . . .
Miss Alice Simms: I thought you did, Edwina. He did attack you, didn’t he, like he did me?
Corporal McBurney: I didn’t! I hardly touched her. And whatever I did, she consented to it!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Is that your defense, Mister McBurney? We have heard already of how Miss Alice consented to your demands because of fear, and this young lady, Edwina Morrow, is likewise very obviously afraid of you.
Corporal McBurney: Lady? Lady is it?
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Pay no attention to him, Miss Edwina. He will not harm you any more. Now I think we can move on to the next charge. Mister McBurney’s conduct with my sister.
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: Please, Martha . . . !
Corporal McBurney: Are you going to charge me with attacking her, too?
Miss Martha Farnsworth: I believe I am qualified to do so. I saw the event with my own eyes, Mister McBurney.
Corporal McBurney: And was that without her consent too? Did I go upstairs and haul the old biddy out of bed and drag her down the stairs by her hair, and rip the night dress off her skinny behind?
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: Please, please . . . I’m trying to write. You’re all going too fast, and I’m trying to write.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: I think we can pass on to the next item . . . the physical assault on Miss Harriet which took place in her bedroom yesterday afternoon. Do you wish to deny that, Mister McBurney?
Corporal McBurney: No, I won’t deny anything else. Go (UN
PRINTABLE!) yourself, ma’am!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Sister, do you want to say anything about that assault?
Miss Harriet Farnsworth: He was trying to kill me!
Corporal McBurney: You go (UNPRINTABLE!) yourself too, Miss Harriet.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Mister McBurney, I cannot tolerate much more of this in the presence of these young ladies. There is just one more item here, Mister McBurney. What did you do to this child, Marie Deveraux, this morning?
Corporal McBurney: I didn’t do anything to her, old lady!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Mister McBurney, I saw her come upstairs from the living room at about six o’clock this morning. I saw you follow her to the stairs and call to her. She was in her night dress, very pale and weeping. What did you do to her?
Corporal McBurney: You dirty-minded old woman!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: She has spent the whole day in her room. This is the first time since she has been in this school that she has done that. This is the first time that she has missed coming to a meal. What did you do to her, Mister McBurney?
Corporal McBurney: Ask her, you bald-headed old bitch!
Miss Martha Farnsworth: What did he do to you, Miss Marie?
Miss Marie Deveraux: (weeping) Nothing, he didn’t do anything.
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Don’t be afraid of him, child. No one in this house need ever again be afraid of him.
Corporal McBurney: (starting out) Is that so, Miss Martha. Is that what you think? Well even with only one leg I’m a match for the whole bunch of you here. And don’t forget I’ve also got the pistol. I’ll tell you something else. I was planning to leave here today. All I wanted was your goodwill before I left. Now I’ll stay ’til I’m ready to go. You think you’ve got charges against me now. Just wait until I really get started raising some hell around here. (At this point Corporal McBurney left the room.)
Miss Martha Farnsworth: Well, what are we to do with him?
Matilda Farnsworth: Send him off. Send him packing. Take a broom to him. Tell him, “Yankee, you clear out now! You clear out of here!”
Miss Martha Farnsworth: He has already been told that, Mattie, and it hasn’t done any good.
The Beguiled Page 48
