“I have changed my mind,” Eunice announced at that meeting, “and I now think we should not wait five to ten years to bring in the next generation. I think we should do it now.”
“Exactly,” Ethel said. “This is what I have been saying all along.”
“I know that, Ethel,” Eunice said. Then, as she scooped up a pile of papers and started busily inserting them into file folders in a large notebook, she added crisply, “And I am agreeing with you, all right? I will concede that point, but will not make any concessions as to how the foundation’s money is spent.” In other words, she was trying to strike a compromise by giving them something—not much, though, since the real issue on the table wasn’t really when the third generation would come into power as much as it was the question of how the foundation’s money was to be spent—just on mental retardation causes or on other charitable ventures as well?
Since Ethel really had no knowledge of the back-and-forth about the foundation’s expenditures, because she was not a trustee and this was one of the very rare meetings she attended related to this matter, she didn’t have much else to say.
In the end—not surprisingly—Eunice prevailed. The trustees finally agreed with her that the Kennedy Foundation would continue to be devoted solely to the cause of mental retardation as long as the next generation would now be allowed to play a bigger role in its decision-making processes. That was fine with Eunice. It was substantially what she’d been fighting for anyway. It gave her more time to do what she wanted with the foundation’s money without having to answer to her siblings about it. The war was over.
So what about that next generation—the third generation—as it would relate to the Joseph P. Kennedy Jr. Foundation? The problem the family faced in regard to that generation’s participation in the foundation was that the only people truly invested in the cause of mental retardation were her and Sarge’s children. After all, it had been their mother’s life’s work for as long as they could remember, and it was also a cause that their father had helped her implement over the years. Of course, the other young Kennedys saw the cause as valid and important—but it was “Aunt Eunice’s mission,” not necessarily theirs. Eunice realized that one day the situation would probably arise where the foundation would be run by a generation perhaps not so interested in mental retardation, and maybe that would be a battle her children would have to fight. It was eventually decided to establish the Associate Trustees Committee for the Joseph P. Kennedy Jr. Foundation and automatically enroll the entire third generation in the hope that somehow they would organize themselves into a governing unit. “It was their first foray into letting go and sharing power,” says Christopher Lawford, Pat’s son. “It was not easy for them. I remember my aunt Eunice coming to me before the first meeting and nervously asking if I was going to lead a revolt and try to move the foundation away from mental retardation to something that had more relevance to me and my generation. I assured her I wasn’t, but that tension was always present.”
Following the death of Eunice Kennedy Shriver, her children and many of her nieces and nephews have made it their mission to make certain that the cause of mental retardation remains at the forefront not only of the Kennedy Foundation’s interests but also of their own. She would no doubt be very happy about that. In fact, Timothy P. Shriver, the third of Eunice and Sarge’s five children, is currently serving as chairman of the board of directors and chief executive officer of the International Special Olympics.
Looking back so many years later on this Kennedy uprising, the question remains, how had Eunice Kennedy Shriver handled it? It could be argued that she could—or maybe should—have been a little more understanding of her siblings. It could be argued that she could—or maybe should—have given them more latitude. In fact, a great many arguments could probably be made against the way she behaved during this bit of a family rebellion. However, her daughter, Maria, has a favorite saying on a T-shirt that probably sums it up best when it comes to women like Eunice Kennedy Shriver. It says: Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History.
Peter Lawford Dies
Flash back to June 1966.
“What the hell do my kids need me for?” Peter Lawford said to Jackie Kennedy in the presence of his friend and partner Milt Ebbins. Jackie and her children had accompanied Peter on a vacation to Oahu, Hawaii. “They’re Kennedys,” Peter said of his children. “They have all that power. All that money. They don’t need me. I’m nothing.”
According to Ebbins’s memory, Jackie leaned over and put her hand on Peter’s. “Why, that’s just not true,” she told her former brother-in-law. “You are a wonderful man. In fact, I still feel that you and Pat should be able to make it work. I’ll talk to Pat when I get back. I’ll see what I can do.”
“It was an unusual vacation, to say the least,” Milt Ebbins recalled many years later. “Peter had planned to go with his children Christopher and Sydney and soon found out that Jackie was going to be on the same island at the same time. He said to me, ‘I don’t think I can go now.’ He was heartbroken because it had been everything he could do to convince Pat to let him take two of the kids on this vacation. I said, ‘Look, call Jackie and see if she will mind.’ So he did. She said she didn’t mind at all. In fact, she said, ‘Why don’t we all fly over together?’ Jackie was just that kind of woman—nothing really bothered her when it came to familial relations. So she and her kids flew to San Francisco and met up with me, Peter, his kids, and a few other friends and we all flew to Hawaii together. The trouble began when we got there and were photographed together. Pat called me in a complete rage. ‘Why didn’t you or Peter tell me that Jackie was going to be there?’ she demanded to know. I know why I didn’t; it was because I thought Peter had done it. But when I later asked Peter, he said he was afraid to tell her because he was afraid she would say no and that the trip would then be canceled. Then, when I asked Jackie about it, she looked at me as if I was out of my mind and said, ‘Why, Milt, why would I?’ ‘Maybe because you and Pat are best friends?’ I wanted to answer. However, I didn’t. That’s just the way it was with the Kennedys.”
While in Hawaii with Jackie, Peter took it upon himself to make certain that she and her children had a wonderful holiday. At one point, he arranged an elaborate cocktail party at the Kahala Hilton for her and about a hundred friends of his—or perhaps friends of friends. “It was the hotel on the island at the time,” Ebbins recalled. “It had just opened about a year earlier, very exclusive, a real celebrity hangout at the time. [Peter and Jackie were staying in separate rented beachfront properties near this hotel.] On the day of the party, everyone was in suits and ties, gowns and high heels, on the beach, waiting and waiting for Jackie, who had gone off sightseeing for the day with John and Caroline. I remember Peter pacing back and forth, very nervous because he thought she wasn’t going to show. ‘I’m going to look like the biggest fool if she doesn’t show,’ he told me. All of a sudden, a helicopter appears and lands right there on the middle of the beach, sand blowing all over the place causing what looked like a huge dust storm. The door opens and out of the chopper descends Jackie, wearing some kind of little beach frock, a sort of caftan that was billowing in the wind, with sandals. It was quite the entrance. Peter, in his three-piece suit, ran over to Jackie and escorted her to the party. Standing there watching her approach, we guests all looked at each other in complete dismay as it become clear that we were overdressed.”
It was at this party that Jackie and Peter had their conversation about Peter’s feelings of great inadequacy. “You know how much Jack loved you, don’t you?” Jackie told him. “You are a wonderful man. I wish you knew that, Peter.” Peter then informed Jackie that Bobby had recently telephoned him to tell him that he didn’t want him to have anything further to do with Pat or with any of the Kennedys. “You’re out,” Bobby told Peter, according to what Peter said. “We don’t want to see you around here ever again, do you understand that? You are out.” This was the cruelest blow of all. Af
ter all, Peter had been forced to sacrifice his close friendship with Frank Sinatra because of his allegiance to the Kennedys, and now he was being expelled from the Kennedys’ lives too. “Don’t you dare let Bobby get away with that awful threat,” Jackie said, clearly upset. “Do you think Ethel would stand for it for one second?” she asked Peter. “Ethel loves you,” she said. “Call Ethel. Talk to her about this! Promise me you will.” Then, according to Milt Ebbins’s recollection of the conversation, Jackie added with a soft smile, “The Kennedys can be overbearing, Peter. I know this better than most. Remember, I never really fit in, either,” she added. “So don’t worry about it.”
For the next twenty-three years, Peter Lawford would continue to spiral into a deep abyss of alcohol and drug abuse, never really regaining his footing after the divorce from Pat. “He had so loved the Kennedys, I don’t think he ever got over Jack’s death, first of all, nor could he ever reconcile being ousted from the family,” said photographer Bernie Abramson. Bobby’s admonition aside, Peter did try to have a relationship with Pat and the other Kennedys, but to no avail. Even Ethel seemed to fall by the wayside after Bobby’s death, but in her defense, she had her own problems by that time with some of her sons. Only Jackie continued a friendship with Peter, and, try as she might, she was never able to convince Pat to find any forgiveness for what Peter had done to her during their marriage.
“In years to come, Peter would be, for the most part, an absentee father,” added Bernie Abramson. “He loved his children dearly and they felt the same about him, though I think there was a lot of strain between them all. Peter blamed the Kennedys for many of his life’s problems, even though, in all fairness to the Kennedys, he certainly had enough time to straighten them out on his own, and in fact married three more times after the divorce from Pat [to Mary Rowan in 1971, Deborah Gould in 1976, and Patricia Seaton in 1984]. With the passing of the years, though, Lawford’s career fell into a complete shambles. It was a shame.”
In 1981, Peter recalled to this author, “When you’re going up against the Kennedys, you’re going to lose, and that’s what I have had to accept. They don’t want me around. I admit I am not the best father in the world, but in all fairness to me, the Kennedys have made it exceedingly difficult to have any sort of meaningful relationship with my children. Pat has thwarted me every step along the way, as have other members of her family. My conversations with Pat led me to believe that I was useless as a father. As if she was the perfect mother?” Peter asked. “I will always love Pat and I’m sure I hurt her repeatedly,” he admitted, “but she hurt me too. The Kennedys can be quite cruel and that is a fact I have learned to live with. When you are out of their inner circle, you’re out. And I am out.”
On September 17, 1983, Lawford found himself among the Kennedys again when his daughter Sydney married James Peter McKelvy. The ceremony took place at Our Lady of Victory Church in Centerville, Massachusetts, and then there was a reception on the lawn of Rose Kennedy’s home in the compound. (This was actually the last family wedding Rose was well enough to attend.) It was a difficult day for Peter, though. Giving away his daughter in marriage was very important to him, yet he would later say he couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable given the tense relationship between him and Pat. The two kept their distance, though they were cordial when absolutely necessary. Ted seemed quite happy to see Peter, though. Ted later said that it was as if Peter’s presence in the compound had transported him back to a glorious time in his life, back when Jack was alive and so many things were so very different. However, it was Jackie who took Peter under her wing that day. Guests couldn’t help but notice how protective she was of him. “Coming back here to this place after all of this time can’t be easy for him,” she was overheard telling Ted. “He doesn’t look well. It’s as if the circumstances of his life have taken a terrible toll on him. I’m worried about him.” In fact, when Peter’s son, Christopher, married nearly a year later in November 1984 in the West Indies, Peter was not well enough to be present.
Sadly, on December 24, 1984, the Kennedy family got the news that Peter Lawford had died of cardiac arrest at the age of sixty-one in Los Angeles. He would be cremated the next day, on Christmas Day. “The death of Peter Lawford is a special loss to all of us in the Kennedy family, and my heart goes out to his children, Christopher, Sydney, Victoria, and Robin,” said Ted Kennedy in a statement to the media. “We take comfort from the fact that we know he will also be missed by all the people who enjoyed his many roles in films and on television. He was a dedicated and creative actor as well as a loving father and loyal friend to all of us, especially in the challenging days of the New Frontier. The legacies of his love and his fine performances will be a cherished treasure for his family, his friends, and his many admirers.”
Pat Kennedy Lawford was with her now grown children at her New York home in the midst of a big holiday celebration when she got the call that her troubled ex-husband had died. In the moment, she seemed numb, unable to connect to any true feeling about the loss. She had never remarried, saying that she simply did not know one single person she believed was truly happy in a relationship. She maintained that anyone who professed to be content in a romantic relationship, be it just dating or marriage, was probably lying about it and she wasn’t going to count herself among them. The truth is that after Peter, she was never able to bring herself to trust again. She had also never gotten past her anger at him. Still, he did represent a very important, pivotal time in her life, and of course he was the father of her children. She was therefore filled with conflicted emotions about his demise. She chose not to attend the small funeral in Los Angeles, and neither did Jackie, though Jackie had arranged with the hospital to be contacted the moment Peter passed away, and she did immediately telephone his widow, Patricia Seaton Lawford, to offer her condolences. As well as by his own children, the Kennedys were represented at Peter Lawford’s funeral by Jackie’s daughter, Caroline; Ethel’s children Bobby Jr. and Courtney; and Sargent and Eunice’s children Maria and Timothy.
Intervention for Pat
After the death of Peter Lawford, Pat Kennedy Lawford arranged for her four children and their spouses to go to Jamaica for a brief vacation in order that they might come to terms with their grief as a family. However, rather than go along, she stayed behind in New York and, says Christopher Lawford, promptly “fell apart. My father’s death may have left me cold, but I think it did a number on her. She had been battling with her own drinking demons for years. In the winter following my dad’s demise, her condition turned critical.”
In January 1985, it was decided that Pat’s alcoholism was so out of control that an intervention had become necessary. “I don’t know what else we can do,” Eunice said, according to one of the family’s attorneys. However, Ted wasn’t so sure of the wisdom of such a move. “These things never work,” he said at the time. “We did this for David, and you see how that turned out.” Eunice was adamant, though, that something needed to be done, and Jean agreed with her, as did Pat’s children. “Her four kids were afraid Pat would face the same fate as their father if they didn’t do something and do it right away,” recalled Milt Ebbins. When Eunice contacted Jackie to ask her to attend, according to another reliable source, Jackie was against the idea. “Pat will not have a good reaction to it,” Jackie said, according to the source. “I know her very well and I’m not in favor of this at all. I think we should come up with another idea.” Jackie was overruled, however.
“Eunice, Jean, Ted, and Pat’s four kids—Christopher, Sydney, Victoria, and Robin—showed up at Pat’s New York City home to confront her about her drinking,” recalled Patricia Brennan. “When Pat walked into the living room and took one look at them all sitting there, she instantly knew what was going on. One of them started reading from prepared notes she had made telling Pat how concerned she was about her and how much she had hurt them all. After a few minutes, Pat turned right around and went back into her bedroom, and would not come back o
ut. She was angry, mostly at her children. She was beyond angry, actually. ‘How dare they?’ she told me later, in quite the rage. ‘I am their mother. They should have more respect for me than that.’ As she went on and on, it was clear to me that she didn’t want to be helped. Not at that time, anyway. I always knew, though, that there was a small part of her that wanted help. I always knew it.”
A few weeks later, Pat sent her son, Christopher, a note saying that she felt it would be wiser in the future if the Lawfords worked on their problems internally as a family “without importing Eunice, Jean and Ted.” She said that she found the idea of her siblings present for an intervention “repugnant” and added that she would not be discussing the matter any further.
She signed the note, “Love, Mommie.”
PART FIFTEEN
Caroline, John, and Maurice
Caroline Kennedy
Ethel Kennedy would be the first to say that she never really understood the reasons for the troubles of some of her children, primarily the older boys. Ted felt the same way about his offspring, and so did Pat and Jean. In their eyes, the third generation of Kennedys truly had it made. After all, they were young; their inheritances and trust funds had made them wealthy; they had a strong, practically royal lineage; there seemed no reason why they should ever have dabbled in drugs or done anything at all to shame the family. Ted, in particular, said he wished he could reclaim his own youth. “Those kids don’t know how lucky they are,” he once said. Maybe it was because Jackie always viewed her offspring, Caroline and John, as being in a very unique situation—children of a United States president—that she worked so hard to be sensitive to their needs and vitally aware of the challenges they would face as they grew up. It’s certainly true that both children never had the sorts of problems Bobby’s had—or even Ted’s for that matter.
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