“I did have one idea,” she murmured.
“Mmm, hmmm.” Her hair smelled like night-blooming flowers and made him imagine lying on a beach with her somewhere tropical. Except if they ever found themselves at a beach, Cassie would probably be playing in the waves, tossing a Frisbee in a bikini or showing off her surfing skills. Lying on a beach blanket didn’t seem like her style. Or maybe it was—he didn’t know for sure, but he really wished he could find out.
“The way I see it, there are two roadblocks here,” Cassie was saying. “There’s Holly, most importantly. And then there’s me wanting to keep my love life separate from my work life. So maybe the key is not to think in terms of ‘love life’.”
“No problem, since I’m not a character in a chick flick.”
She chuckled, leaning fully against him. “No, you’re not, but you could be. Sexy mechanic like you? You’d definitely fit the part of the hero who’s good with his hands, who beats out the shallow stockbroker dude who has no morals.”
“Hey, I own stocks. And morals.”
With a hint of surprise, she tilted her head up. “You own stocks?”
“Sure. Gotta look out for my daughter’s future. But I feel like we’re getting off track here. You were saying, about your love life?”
“Sex life. That’s what I was saying. If we think of it that way, then there’s nothing really to worry about.”
He squinted at her in some confusion. Whether it was thanks to the champagne or the heady effect of her presence, his brain was having trouble catching up to her words. “You lost me.”
“Sex. S.E.X.” God, the way her lips formed the word, and then spelled it out—he could watch that all day.
“I’ve heard of it.” And been somewhat obsessed with it lately, thanks to her.
“Well, then you know it doesn’t have to have anything to do with love. I mean, not that it would in our case, because we just met, really. Not too long ago. Not too short ago either. We know each other well enough so I know you’re not a jerk. And hopefully you don’t think I am either. Or at least, most of the time. I know I have my moments, don’t we all? Except I don’t think I’ve ever seen you be a jerk, so that’s cool.”
She stopped herself by drawing in a long breath. He stared at her, still a little befuddled. “I’ve never thought you were a jerk. Not once.”
“That’s good. So basically, what I’m saying is, maybe we should just go for it. If it’s just sex, there’s no reason for anyone to know or care, except for us. Since it’s not a ‘relationship,’ Holly doesn’t need to worry about it. As long as we both see things the same way, we should have no problem working together. Or side by side, really. We don’t even work together, strictly speaking. So that means there’s even less of a problem. Oh God, I really am babbling. It’s because of the way you’re looking at me.”
He blinked to break the spell of her cascade of words. When a woman talked “sex,” he listened. But this time, he wasn’t really sure he liked what he was hearing. “So you’re saying we take love off the table and focus entirely on sex, and that somehow that would keep Holly out of it and avoid all potential complications at Knight and Day.”
“Exactly.” She beamed a pleased smile up at him. Then a frown drew her eyebrows together. “You said ‘somehow’ in a very skeptical tone.”
“Sorry. I don’t mean to be skeptical. But—”
She poked his chest. “There you go again. That ‘but’ was also very skeptical.”
God, she was adorable. And that, right there, was the problem. “I’ve done the no-strings-sex thing. A lot. In fact, it’s all I’ve done since Sylvie and I split up. I know exactly how it works.”
Her eyelids flickered. “And so have I. In my case, it’s because I’ve moved around so much. There you go! We both already know the drill. It’s perfect.”
“It’s not perfect.”
“Okay, of course it’s not perfect. But we could make it work.”
“We couldn’t make it work,” he said firmly. Because as much as it pained him to do so, he had to nip this idea in the bud before she took it any further.
“Why not?” She glared at him in a blaze of indignation. “You think I’m not sophisticated enough, that I can’t separate sex and love? You’re totally wrong, I can do that, and—”
“That’s not the problem.” He splayed his hands across her lower back, feeling the micro-adjustments of the muscles along her spine. The silky material of her dress was like magic, the way it allowed him to feel her body underneath.
“So what’s the problem?” Despite her frown, she was so appealing, so alive in the deepening starlight, as if she herself were a star who had landed in his life.
“This.”
And finally, finally, he kissed her.
Not the almost-kiss of the first time they’d met, or the close call from Knight and Day. This was the real thing—and it felt as if he’d been waiting for this moment for years. As if kissing Cassie was like throwing himself down a waterfall, his entire being tumbling end over end, completely immersed in the moment. The warm champagne sweetness of her taste was everything, the eager opening of her mouth, the slide of her tongue, the oops of their teeth clicking against each other before they figured out exactly how to fit together.
A tight quiver ran through her body, and for a moment he wondered if he’d gone too fast, kissing her like this.
In the next moment, she linked her hands around his neck and lifted herself on tiptoe, pressing her breasts against him. He felt the points of her nipples against his chest, and thanked God once again for that miraculous dress that hid nothing from him. Skimming his hands up her sides, he cupped the soft swells of her breasts. The perfect, delicate curves triggered a pulse of lust inside him, but even more than that, a fierce sense of rightness. As if her body and his were meant for this moment, and for so many moments to come.
And that…that…was why her plan wouldn’t work.
He sent his hands on one more lustful tour of her body, savoring the long lines of her spine, the sensual curve of her ass, the firmness of her hipbones, the secret tenderness of the dip that led to her groin. So much to feel, to discover.
And so many reasons not to.
He ended the kiss, their lips clinging together until the last possible moment. A sigh drifted through the air between them as he finally managed to separate from her.
“See what I mean?” he managed in a rough voice.
She stared at him dazedly. “What?”
“I can’t take anything off the table when it comes to you. I just can’t. It would be a lie. And that’s the one thing I refuse to do with anyone I get involved with.”
Blinking, she put a hand to her lips, touching the place where his mouth had been just a moment ago. “Crap,” she whispered.
“Crap?”
“That’s just…I mean, that was some kiss.”
Yeah. It had been. He was still reeling from it, to be honest. “Exactly.”
“So basically you’re saying, because it was such a good kiss, we can’t do it again?”
He cocked his head, frowning down at her. His arms were still wrapped around her, which was potentially big trouble. Ending the kiss was hard enough, and not touching her at all seemed frankly impossible at the moment. “I guess so.”
“So we should have made it a really bad kiss?”
Her impish, sparkling smile froze him in his tracks for a moment. Then he threw his head back and let out a laugh. Something inside him loosened as the laughter poured out of him. It came from a place that hadn’t been touched in a very long time. A joyful, playful, sky’s-the-limit kind of place. “Yeah well, too late for that. We can’t take it back now. I wouldn’t want to if we could. That kiss was epic.”
“But you don’t want to do it again.” The moon was finally rising over the hilltop beyond the inn, its silvery light making her expression hard to read. Did she look…hurt? Rejected? That would be a total misread of the situation.
“I sure as hell didn’t say that,” he said firmly. “I want to do it again. Along with every other dirty, sexy thought I’ve had about you. Kissing is just the start. But there’s a lot more going on between us than that—and you know it. I’m not going to act like there isn’t.”
Silence throbbed between them. Or maybe that was the ache in his cock, which was probably furious with him right about now. But he wasn’t a kid anymore. His days of being ruled by his libido were in the past. He was still influenced by it. But he didn’t have to do everything it said, dammit.
Cassie pressed her lips together and stepped out of the circle of his arms. “Are you sure this isn’t just a fancy way of saying you don’t want this to go any further? You really don’t have to go to so much trouble. I’m a big girl. I can handle a little rejection.”
“Hey.” He caught her arm as she spun away from him. “You know that’s not what it is. And if you don’t know, you should know. You knock me right off my feet, every time I see you. And judging by that kiss, you’re not exactly indifferent to me. So how is some ridiculous ‘this is just about sex’ thing supposed to work between us? It never would, and you know that.”
He knew she did, he could see it in her eyes, even though a shadow of hurt remained. He hated that he’d wounded her, that he’d put that look on her face, that he’d extinguished all the heat, all the fire and fun.
Of course, the only thing he could think to do about it was to kiss her again. And that would be…
“Ah, fuck it.”
Awareness flared in her eyes as he drew her close again. Her lips parted, her breath hitched…
And then her cell phone buzzed. She startled and would have stumbled on the grass if he hadn’t been holding her hand. “That’s my emergency ringtone.”
“Shit. Go ahead, check it.” He let her hand drop from his so she could check her phone.
Looking a little rattled, she fumbled in the pocket of her dress. After glancing at it briefly, she stepped away from him.
“I have to go.” All her warm, vulnerable openness was gone, as if a steel gate had dropped over her expression. She turned away and headed for the parking lot.
“Wait.” He jogged to catch up with her. “What’s going on?”
“I have to go,” she repeated. “It’s personal.”
“Okay.” He didn’t want to push her, but Jesus. If it was serious, he wanted to help if he could. “Can I do anything? Want me to get your brothers?”
“No, I can handle it. I don’t want to disturb Ben’s party.” They reached the parking lot. After a quick scan of the parked cars, she muttered, “Shit,” and turned to him. “It’s my mom. She took the car, so I could actually use your help if you’re really offering.”
“Of course.” He felt a weird rush of happiness that she trusted him to help with something so personal.
And that, more than anything—even more than the kiss—told him he was right. There was no way he could take anything off the table when it came to Cassie. He was already in too deep.
12
The first time Cassie had taken Mom to the emergency room, she’d just turned seventeen and she’d found her mother curled up in a ball in the corner of the bathroom of their tiny apartment in Flagstaff, Arizona. She wouldn’t speak to Cassie. Wouldn’t respond at all, just kept staring at the plumbing and muttering about soldiers climbing up the pipes. Cassie had managed to coax her into the car and driven to the nearest hospital. She could still taste the raw panic, like sheet metal in her mouth.
After two days in the hospital, with a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress syndrome and a prescription in hand, they’d resumed their lives. But nothing had ever felt the same after that. Cassie was always on alert for another breakdown. And they’d happened. Four more times, she’d driven Mom to the nearest ER.
But the last time was over three years ago. Janine had been doing so much better. To Cassie, her decision to return to Jupiter Point proved it.
But what if it was a huge mistake?
Not doing well. Heading to the ER. Stay at the party, don’t worry.
That was what Mom’s text had said, which was completely absurd. As if she could have any fun at a party while her mother was in trouble.
She followed Kevin to his ridiculously high-end sports car, with its classic curves in vintage slate-blue. Never before had she called on anyone else to help her during a crisis with her mother. Certainly she’d never imagined being driven to the ER in a Lamborghini.
Thankfully, Kevin didn’t ask any questions as he steered out of the lot onto the road that wound down the hillside. She pulled out her phone and dialed her mom’s favorite therapist. She’d worked with a few, but this particular psychiatrist, Dr. Beth Gold from Nashville, had been especially helpful. They still had regular appointments via the phone, to accommodate Janine and Cassie’s traveling.
Answering machine.
“Hi, this is Cassie Knight. I just got a text from Janine that she’s not doing well and heading for the ER. I don’t know if she’s already called you or not, but I’m hoping you’re available to talk to her, or maybe to the doctors here. This is the first time it’s happened since we got here.” Her voice caught as she said that last part, and she quickly cleared her throat to regain her cool. “You can reach me on my cell. Thank you.”
When she ended the call, she stared out the window for a few moments at the night-filled pine woods flipping past. Just when she thought maybe her mom had triumphed over her emotional struggles, that she was on stable ground, that she could handle a simple gathering of family and friends…the bottom dropped out all over again.
But Kevin didn’t need to see her lose her cool. Driving her into town was more than enough of a good deed.
A warm hand settled on her thigh. She jumped a little, looking at him in surprise. He turned his hand palm up, inviting her to hold it.
So she did. The simple reassurance of the gesture nearly brought another gush of tears to her eyes. For a short while they drove in silence, taking curve after hairpin curve at a steady pace, their hands parting only when Kevin had to shift gears. He drove like an expert, like a man who knew how to handle any kind of vehicle, especially a finely tooled piece of machinery like the Lamborghini. The mechanic side of her watched his skilled command of the wheel in sheer admiration.
“Does this happen a lot?” he asked finally in a soft voice.
She took a moment to answer. “It used to happen more. In the past few years, a lot less. I think it’s been over three years by now. I thought…maybe she was done with that.”
But maybe she would never be done. Maybe the possibility would always hang over them like a threatening dark cloud.
“That must have been rough for you,” Kevin said. His gentle voice seemed to touch her deep inside, find that scared part of her that never really relaxed.
She shrugged, as if it was old hat. “You should be more worried about how it is for her.”
“Well, sure. But right now, I’m thinking about you.” He curled his hand tighter around hers.
She stared at their interlocked fingers. Having watched him working a wrench, fiddling with bolts, selecting drill bits and testing wires, she felt a certain comfort level with those hands. She knew how steely-strong his fingers were, how dexterous and yet powerful. In some ways, she knew his hands better than she knew him.
“You don’t have to,” she told him, even though her statement held no conviction. Of course he didn’t have to. But she’d be lying to herself if she claimed she didn’t want him to. It felt good, in a knee-weakening, heart-melting way, that he was thinking about her.
“Well, sorry to say it, but you’re wrong. I do have to. Obviously.” His dry tone made her smile a bit, which didn’t usually happen during one of her mother’s crises. “So why didn’t you want to tell your brothers what’s happening?”
“I told you, I didn’t want to mess up Ben and Julie’s party.”
“Don’t you think they’re going
to notice that you’re gone?”
That thought gave her pause. She wasn’t used to taking her brothers into account at times like these. “I suppose they might, but I come and go a lot. They wouldn’t know what to do in this situation anyway. It’s better if I handle it.”
He shot her a sideways quizzical look. “Really? Isn’t Will a former deputy sheriff? Probably wouldn’t be the first breakdown he’s dealt with.”
“Yes, but…” She trailed off, since that was actually a really good point. “My brothers are more about law and order. Well, except for Aiden, but he’s just a kid. Ben was in the Air Force, Tobias was in the special forces—”
“Isn’t he studying non-violent communication now? He was telling me about it the other day. He sounds really into it.”
“Well sure, but the last thing my mother needs is someone practicing on her.” That sounded so mean that she winced. “I mean, Tobias isn’t used to her. He doesn’t know her the way I do.”
“But Ben does. He used to talk about how close he was to her when he was growing up.”
“Yes, but that was before.” She shifted back and forth in her seat, fussing with the seat belt. All these questions irritated her. “Why are you interrogating me like this?”
He lifted his hand from the wheel for a brief moment. “Not interrogating. I promise. I’m just trying to understand, since I’m apparently an honorary Knight brother now.”
“Well, if you really want to understand, just accept the fact that I’ve been the one watching out for Mom ever since Dad was murdered. I was the one who would take her to the emergency room when she was starting to lose it, I was the one who finally found her a decent therapist, I’m the one who makes sure she takes her meds, I’m the one who always sleeps with one ear open, I’m the one who packs up when it’s time to leave, I’m the one who finds a new place to live, I’m the one who always gets jobs that I can walk away from, I’m the one she relies on, and I’m the one she texts when she’s feeling unsafe.”
She snapped her mouth shut at the end of that crazy speech, which was much, much more than she’d intended to say.
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