A hidden grin spread inside him. That was his Cassie, making it good for herself. She wasn’t shy, all she needed was someone to hear her. He followed each one of her instructions—or were they pleas?—until she rocked against his hand, bucking hard. She panted, squirmed, pushed against his hand, nearly dislodging it. But he was a mechanic, after all, and what better way to use his hand strength than to coax Cassie to an earth-shaking orgasm—or an ocean-shaking one.
So he held on tight, kept the pressure on that hot, throbbing clit of hers, rubbing and teasing until she erupted with a low wail. “Oh God, oh God,” she chanted as he kept stroking her through one spasm after another. “Kevin, Jesus, yes, oh my God!”
Finally, the shaking slowed and her moans turned into a rueful laugh. “Holy shit, I did scream your name. You were right, you bastard.”
He laughed. His hand vibrated with the energy the two of them had generated. “That was more of a moan, not a scream. Not that I’m complaining in any way. It just gives me something to aspire to.”
“There’s more?” She flopped in his arms, spent and limp and stunning. “I’m not sure I can handle more.” She paused, then quickly added, “Maybe I can.”
He chuckled. “Of course you can. I have total faith in you.”
“Faith in me? I think you’re the one who gets all the credit here. And this was in the ocean. I can only imagine what we could do in a bed.” She shifted in his arms so she could reach one hand between their bodies. He jolted when her hand closed hot around his cock.
“What are you doing?”
“Playing fair. I can’t be the only one getting the top of my head blown off here.”
“You don’t have to…” But she was. “Really, this was about you letting off steam. I don’t need any steam let off.”
“Are you sure about that?” She squeezed lightly and his penis surged against her hand. “Have you consulted with all interested parties?”
He laughed painfully. “If I let that guy make the decisions, my life would be an out-of-control mess. For one thing, we would have been having a steamy affair ever since Barstow’s. You can’t trust him.”
“I trust you, and that’s all that matters.” God, her hand felt good, its warmth contrasting with the chill of the water, her touch both light and firm. He pushed farther into her grip, seeking the heat and pressure she offered. He closed his eyes to block out the intoxicating sight of her aroused breasts, and the way the ends of her hair floated behind her in the water, and her moon-silvered eyes watching him, and her parted lips that made him think of how it would feel when she wrapped them around his cock.
But with his eyes closed, he saw even more provocative images. Cassie on her knees, taking him into her mouth. Cassie unzipping her coveralls to reveal her bare breasts. Cassie bent over the workbench, giving him a come-hither look over her sexy freckled shoulder. Cassie pulling her slip over her head, holding her breasts, thumbing her own nipples…
Oh God.
With a harsh groan, he erupted into a fierce orgasm. It shook him to his soul, each powerful convulsion ripping through his body. Her hand around his shaft coaxed every last drop and twitch from his organ.
Good Lord. Where had all that come from? How much pent-up Cassie lust had he been carrying around all this time?
His thighs trembled from the release, and from the fact that he’d been carrying Cassie in his arms this entire time, juggling waves and currents as he did so.
“Okay then,” he managed as soon as he could relocate his vocabulary. “I honestly didn’t intend for that to happen. I wanted this to be all about you.”
“No,” she answered softly. “I have a say in it too. This is exactly what I wanted. Well, not exactly. Thousand-count sheets might be nice. Maybe a fluffy blanket.”
“Land-based sex.” He grinned as he released her and she found her feet. “It has its benefits.”
He wrapped his arm around her and they waded toward the shore. Now that their passion was subsiding back into a general buzz of lust, he became aware of other sights and sounds. The occasional whoosh of a car driving down the road, out of sight above the embankment. The whispering of the wind through a crack in the rocks. The indignant cry of a seagull disturbed in its sleep. Ocean noises, which from now on would forever make him think of Cassie.
They stepped onto the little tongue of sand that formed the beach of the cove. Cassie was shivering as she bent to retrieve her dress. “That little scrap isn’t going to do much,” he told her. “Why don’t you stay here and I’ll run up and get a blanket from my car.”
“You have a blanket in your car?”
“It’s Holly’s. She likes to curl up in the backseat during road trips. I also have a jacket, an extra set of coveralls, and a tarp. I might even have some food. It’s a single-dad kind of thing. Always have food on hand. You wouldn’t believe the difference blood sugar makes.”
“Oh, I’m familiar with that phenomenon. ‘Hangry,’ it’s called. Been there.” Standing mostly naked on the sand, her panties so drenched they hid nothing, she was divinely beautiful to him. She pulled the dress on, even though it didn’t stop her shivering at all. “I’m decent. Let’s get in your car and blast the heat.”
She picked up her abandoned slip and headed for the path up the embankment. Was she acting weird? He couldn’t really tell.
“Everything okay?” he asked as he followed behind her. “Please tell me you aren’t adding that to your bad sex list. I mean, if you are, please do tell me so I can fix it.”
“Of course not. First of all, technically it wasn’t sex. And it wasn’t bad.” She turned to look at him, and he definitely wasn’t imagining the troubled look in her eyes. “It was good. Very good. Too good. Damn you.”
And that was all she’d say, even once they were safely in his car with the heater on full blast and Holly’s purple fleece blanket tucked around her.
“Good sex” was good, right? But “too good”—maybe that wasn’t good.
In that case, it was a good thing they weren’t going to do it again. They were back on land, and rules were rules.
15
Never in her life had Cassie felt so mixed up about a man. Usually she found them either frustrating or disappointing, often both at the same time. Kevin didn’t fall into either of those categories.
Okay, maybe “frustrating” because she still didn’t know if those thousand-count sheets were ever going to materialize. They might never end up in an actual bed together.
Which would absolutely be disappointing.
But nothing involving Kevin followed any kind of usual pattern. In the past, after she’d slept with a man—which didn’t happen all that often—she felt…depressed. Even if she’d enjoyed the sex itself, she would most often lie next to her bedmate, staring at the ceiling and wondering why she wasn’t happier. Orgasms were supposed to lift your mood, relax you, make you all blissed out, at least according to the movies.
They’d really never done that for her—until now. Her afterglows had been more like after-black-holes-of-regret. But what she’d experienced with Kevin didn’t fit in the same category as those other encounters. She and Kevin were friends. She knew him really well, and most of all, she trusted him. And respected him. And liked him. Was that why it had felt so different? Was this what they really meant by “friends with benefits?” The benefit being that the friendship led to better sex?
If only she could talk to her mother about Kevin.
But she couldn’t. Because the morning after that wild time in the ocean, she found a voice mail message from Mom, which she’d left sometime overnight.
“Cassie, my dear, dear daughter, I know this is going to sound strange. I need some time to myself. Maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a little bit longer. I can’t explain everything now, but Will can fill you in. Priscilla Reinhard has offered me the guesthouse on their property. It’s practically an armed fortress there, so you have no need to worry about me. I love you so much, chickadee. I want y
ou to go out there and have lots of glorious fun. We’ll see each other soon.”
In a surreal state of shock, Cassie laced on her running shoes and went for a hard, pounding run down the country road where the farmhouse was located.
Time to herself? No need to worry? It made no sense.
It felt so strange, so disorienting, as if she’d gotten fired from a job she both loved and resented.
For the past twelve years, she’d been exceptionally close to her mother. They’d grieved for Robert Knight together. They’d traveled around the country together. Janine had thrown herself into helping Cassie graduate, then get her mechanic’s certification. In turn, Cassie had thrown herself into monitoring her mom’s mental state.
Was it a healthy relationship? Cassie had no idea. They fought sometimes just like other mothers and daughters. Her mom’s anxiety drove her nuts. So did her unwillingness to answer questions. But she was Mom, and Cassie would have thrown herself in front of a train if that would keep her safe.
After her run, she showered and hopped in her car. She had a light day at work, plenty of time to squeeze in a visit to her brother Will. Besides, she wasn’t quite ready to see Kevin yet. She had to chase all those hot memories from last night out of her brain first.
Will and Merry lived in a side-by-side duplex, with his office taking up one side. She knocked on the office door first, but when she got no answer, she hopped down the front steps and over to the other side.
Merry opened the door, a steaming mug of coffee in one hand. Her bright amber eyes widened with surprise.
“Cassie! Nice to see you. Come on in. Is Will expecting you?”
“Nope. This is an ambush.”
Merry’s eyes sparked with interest. As one of the top reporters at the Mercury News-Gazette, any hint of a good story could get her going. Which made for some entertaining family arguments between her and Will, who was all about law and order, with his deputy sheriff background. But obviously they worked it all out, because every time Cassie saw them, she picked up on the special energy that hummed around the couple.
“I’m not going to pester you for details, but that’s only because I know you’ll tell me everything when the time is right.”
“Absolutely.” Cassie smiled as they exchanged a quick hug.
Will, in the midst of tucking in his shirt, strolled into the living room. Tall and lean, with a kind of laconic drawling style, he’d always been on the reserved side—until he’d hooked up with Merry, who was all sparks and vibrant energy. “Hey, sis. You look like you’re on a mission.”
“I am. Can we talk next door?”
“That serious, huh? Sure, let me grab my coffee and we’ll get official.” He disappeared for a moment, then came back with a giant to-go mug with a picture of a monster truck on the side. He dropped a kiss on Merry’s halo of springy curls.
“See you later, babe. Love you.”
“Love you too.” They shared a hot, secret look that left no doubt about how they’d spent last night.
Cassie averted her eyes, not so much from embarrassment as from envy. Will and Merry had the perfect balance of passion and respect for each other. Would she ever be lucky enough to find something like that with a man?
To be honest, she’d never given herself a chance to. She’d never stuck with a relationship long enough to see if it was possible.
Kevin flashed into her mind so vividly, he could have been right beside her. They definitely had passion. Respect—absolutely.
But there were all those roadblocks between them. It was impossible. They couldn’t even have sex like normal people—on land.
Not that she was complaining about last night. Not at all. A smile tried to sneak across her face, but she reminded herself why she was here. For answers. Explanations.
She followed Will over to the office side of the building. It didn’t look much like her picture of a private investigator’s office, with its hardwood floors and comfortable seating arrangement of red-upholstered armchairs. He beckoned her to take a seat, but instead she perched on the wide sill of the bay window.
“What’s going on with Mom?” she burst out before Will had even finished lowering himself into his seat. “She left me a message that she wants some time alone. I don’t understand.”
“She wants to protect you. She feels that she’s put you through enough, living on the run all these years. Now you’re home and putting down roots and she doesn’t want to interfere with that.”
“That’s…ridiculous! Of course she isn’t interfering. With anything! And I’m not putting down roots. I’m not a root-putting person.” She jumped to her feet and paced back and forth in front of the pretty bay window, as if proving her lack of rootlessness right there on the spot.
Will sipped from his coffee and watched her. She couldn’t read the expression in his steady gray eyes, but it might have included amusement. “You know, Cassie, out of everyone in our family, I think you and I have the most in common.”
“Us? How do you figure that? You’re the steady one, the one who held down the fort while the rest of us took off. You’re the responsible one. The deputy sheriff keeping everything on track. You’re High Noon. I’m nothing like that. I’m more like…the tumbleweed rolling down Main Street during the big showdown.”
He burst out laughing. “Way to keep the metaphor going.”
She sketched a mock bow. “Thank you. I try.”
“But you have it all wrong, I’m sorry to say. A tumbleweed is something that drifts with the wind, that has no purpose. You’ve always had a purpose.”
She stared at him, her heart catching in her throat. Of all her brothers, she’d always looked up to Will the most, possibly because he was the oldest, or maybe because of his solid, reassuring nature. Hearing words of praise from him meant so much.
“Do you remember when I tracked you and Mom down in that commune in New Mexico?” he continued, taking advantage of her momentary speechlessness.
She nodded, since it wasn’t likely she’d ever forget that.
“I asked you what you wanted me to do, if you wanted me to step in and take charge of Mom. Get her to a hospital, bring you back home, put an end to the running. But you begged me not to. You said Mom was getting better and you were about to take your high school equivalency exam and you felt you could handle things okay.”
“I was probably insane,” she muttered. “I had no idea what I was doing.”
“Which is why I insisted you keep in regular touch and let me know if you needed anything.”
“I did.”
“Exactly. You took on just as much responsibility as I did. You held down your own fort. Okay, so it was a moving fort that changed locations every few months. But it was still a fort. You made a fort for Mom, and you defended it and kept her safe. For twelve years you did that.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from him so he couldn’t see her eyes fill with tears. He made it all sound so noble, and she didn’t think she deserved that. “You’re giving me too much credit,” she managed.
“No, I’m not. I call things as I see them, you know that. Mom…” He stopped to clear his throat. “Mom told me she might gone over the edge for good if you hadn’t been with her. And I believe her. Maybe it seems like she’s shutting you out right now, but that’s not her intention. I promise you. She’s trying to be more independent. She wants you to enjoy your life, focus on the shop, reconnect with all of us, and the rest of Jupiter Point.”
Cassie stared out at the street, a lovely residential block lined with graceful maple and oak trees. The kind of place that always made her mother antsy. Too exposed, not anonymous enough.
How was she supposed to reconnect with Jupiter Point when her automatic reflex was to run?
“Mom said something else in her message. She said you can fill me in. Is this about Matthew Dearborn? The investigation?”
Will got to his feet and crossed to a locked filing cabinet. “If I’d known
you were coming, I would have gotten this ready for you. Give me a minute here.” He pulled out an accordion file stuffed with pieces of paper and envelopes. “It took a while, but Mom finally told me what’s been going on all these years. These letters are anonymous, but we’ve done some handwriting analysis and they’re definitely from Matthew Dearborn. It turns out he’s pretty good at tracking people. He managed to find you guys pretty much wherever you went.”
“What? He followed us?”
“No, no,” Will assured her quickly. “He never actually left Jupiter Point, as far as we can tell. But he wrote Mom letters. In every single one, he warned her not to contact the cops or tell anyone about the letters. He talked about his connections to the Jupiter Point PD.”
He handed her the folder. Horrified, she leafed through them, seeing words like “love” and “soul mate” jump out at her.
“He never confessed to killing Dad, but it seemed obvious to Mom that he had. She kept thinking that he would move on if she just stayed away long enough. And sometimes it seemed that he had. Time would pass, she wouldn’t get any more letters, and she’d start to relax. Then he’d catch up with her all over again. He terrorized her. Honestly, it’s amazing she isn’t more of a nervous wreck after dealing with this alone for all that time.”
“But why didn’t she tell me?” Cassie cried. “I would have gone straight to the police or the FBI or something. That’s crazy!”
“I think it’s safe to say she wasn’t thinking fully logically. She was scared. And he kept threatening her.”
“Oh my God.” Cassie buried her hands in her hair and slumped onto the window sill. “All that time, she never said a word to me. I just figured she didn’t like staying in one place. I feel like an idiot!”
“No, no.” Will got to his feet and in two quick strides was next to her. He put his arms around her and drew her close. “How could you know? She did everything possible to keep it a secret. She didn’t want you to know. She didn’t want you to worry, or to call the police, or do anything that might change the status quo. Don’t blame yourself for any of this, Cassie. Promise me.”
Too Hot to Handle Page 12
