by Shealy James
“Maybe. Joe, the head mechanic, will call me if he needs me or I’ll just go up there. We have a race this weekend so, at this point, it’s mostly just promotional crap that I don’t care about. That’s Randy’s business.”
“Who’s Randy?”
“The driver of the car I have been working on. Mostly we work on high-end sports cars, but Joe and I built Randy’s car from the ground up. The frame was rusted and falling apart when we picked up the car. We rebuilt the entire engine and replaced a few panels, tweaking it in order to turn it into a racecar. It’s pretty amazing now.”
“You seem to love what you do.”
He thinks for a moment. “I do,” he admitted. “It’s the thing that gets me up in the morning, you know?”
“I understand that.” I wanted to ask him more about his passion for cars, but I was already in too deep with him. In the light of day tomorrow, when he could no longer be a part of my life, I would regret knowing too much about him. It would make it that much harder to forget him.
“What about you?”
“Oh, I don’t know anything about cars.”
He silently chuckled. “No. I mean, do you have to work tomorrow?”
“No and yes. I don’t have anything scheduled, but I planned a weekend of transcribing interviews and data entry. I meet with Dr. Wright on Monday about the status of the project. I’m hoping to impress him with how much I have completed so far.”
“I have no doubt Dr. Wright is impressed with you.”
“Thank you for saying that, but you have no idea what I’m up against.”
“Maybe not, but I know firsthand how professional you are, and I can guess what a hard worker you are.”
I felt my cheeks heat with his reference to my slip-up earlier that day. “I really am sorry about that. I didn’t know how to handle you,” I told him honestly. “Normally, I would flirt back, and we’d have some sexually driven repartee before going our separate ways, but the recording and all this with Jameson threw me off today.”
He waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it. I was teasing you. I’m sorry for being a dick. It’s easier to be a total asshole than talk about the stuff you were asking.” He grimaced when he realized he had practically admitted to being fragile.
“Hey.” I reached out for his hand. “I get it.”
He took a deep breath and slowly blew it out. “If you wanted to know anything else, you can ask. I owe you that.”
This was my chance. I could ask him anything I wanted right here, right now. I glanced up into his eyes, and he almost seemed frightened of what I might want to know. I didn’t want to end our night at a low point, so instead of asking personal and invasive questions, I smiled and squeezed his hand. “Nah. I think we’ve had enough for today. If you don’t mind, I’d like to try to get some sleep.”
“Sure.” He looked relieved, and I knew I made the right choice. “It’s late.”
We said our goodnights and went our separate ways. In his guest room, I stripped down to my cami and panties and climbed into bed. I really was tired, so my brain thankfully didn’t replay the events of the day before I fell asleep. Just before everything went still, I told myself I couldn’t allow myself to even consider getting involved with Michael, and not just because I needed to remain professional with him. Most of me believed he would end up being another disappointment, just like every other toad I had kissed.
Nine
Michael
She was in the next room…sleeping. This was the first time I’d ever had a girl stay in the guest room. I hadn’t been lying when I told her I didn’t bring women here. I learned my lesson more than once about the crazy ones who thought they could make themselves at home then reappear whenever they wanted. I hated having to hurt a woman’s feelings because she misunderstood my intentions after I had plainly laid them out for her.
Now, I found myself in a completely new situation. I wanted the girl to stay. I wanted to stay up all night talking, which was beyond ridiculous considering how I felt about talking. Given the right circumstances, I would prefer to spend our time doing other things, but I knew it was unwise to even consider treating her like I treated other girls. For one, I didn’t see Sarah letting me get away with that. She knew she was worth more than that.
The other reason that came to mind was a little more complicated. In the few hours I had spent with Sarah, I already felt more for her than any other girl I had ever met, and that was incredibly frightening for a guy like me. I didn’t think I could laugh like that anymore. If someone had asked me this morning if I could forget what happened for even a few minutes, I would have said no, especially not while sitting across from Phil and Moretti. But I would have been mistaken. Sarah made me forget everything but her. I was no longer empty in her company, and I would have done almost anything to continue feeling what I’ve felt the past few hours with her. I even thoughtlessly offered to talk about what happened if she wanted. I shudder to think what would have happened if she’d pried. It bothered me that I was willing to open up just to keep her blue eyes on me. Fortunately, she saved me from the impending doom by heading to bed. Although, now I sat alone in my living room with the image of her head resting against the back of the couch and her legs tucked under her while she actually slept fifty feet away.
I should have gone to bed when she did, but I couldn’t take a sleeping pill while she was there. I also couldn’t risk having the dreams, either. It was one thing for her to know about them. It was another for her to hear them. As willing as I was to open up, I would rather keep the hell inside of me hidden from her light.
As if my thoughts conjured the noise, I heard what sounded like whimpering come from the other room. I froze and listened carefully. The sound continued, and I had no doubt something was wrong.
I gently knocked on the door. “Sarah?”
No answer, only what sounded like weeping.
I knocked again slightly louder. “Sarah, you okay?”
No answer.
I cracked the door open, and I saw her writhing on the bed as if she was trying to escape. I knew all too well what was happening, but I had never been on this side. I didn’t know what to do. When I was in the thick of a nightmare, I wished someone would wake me, so I stepped into the room and gently rested my hand on her shoulder. “Sarah, wake up. It’s a dream.” I didn’t know if she could hear me, but I hoped she could. I hoped she wouldn’t be afraid when she woke up. I gently shook her this time. “Sarah,” I said again.
Suddenly, she gasped for a deep breath and sat up straight in the bed. She looked around and found me sitting on the bed next to her. Her big blue eyes were wide and terrified when they met mine right before she registered who was in the room and burst into tears. She brought her hands to her face to hide the crying. This was certainly unfamiliar territory for me. I had a sister, but she was older than I was. I never really saw her cry much growing up, and I never saw her at all anymore. Amy wasn’t a crier, and none of the girls I had spent time with had a chance to get emotional. I was out of my league.
I realized I was holding my hands up in surrender, so I dropped them to my lap in an effort to appear calmer than I felt. Right as I was considering calling Amy for help, Sarah attempted to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what…” She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut.
“It was just a bad dream.”
I should have kept my mouth shut because that caused a fresh round of body-wracking sobs from her. She fell forward against my chest, and I had nothing else to do but hold her while she cried. “It’ll be okay,” I promised. And it would be, even if I had to make sure the son of a bitch never hurt her again myself. I stroked her long blond hair and rubbed her back like my mom did when I was sick as a kid. It seemed natural to hold her this way, and I wished this were what it could be like for me.
When she cried herself to sleep, I laid down with her in my arms. Surprisingly, she snuggled closer to me. Her hands tucked betwee
n us, and her head rested on me. It was then I realized how little we were dressed in. I only had on a pair of lounge pants. With her leg thrown over the covers, I saw she was in a little tank top with thin straps and panties; light pink panties like the sweet angel she was. I had my very own Victoria’s Secret model snuggled against me with a tear-stained face and the sexiest body I had ever touched. My armor cracked a little more, and at that moment, I knew Sarah would be the one to break me.
Sarah
Michael brought me home after I texted Lana the next morning and she let me know the coast was clear. After a long discussion about how to keep me safe in the future, he made me promise to file a restraining order against Jameson. I made a point to call Maggie and Parker that day to find out more about the process. It paid to have friends who were also lawyers.
Michael offered to go with me to the police, but I brushed him off. Not only had I humiliated myself by crying like a baby on him, but I also woke up looking like a troll with smeared mascara and wild frizzy hair. To make matters that much worse, I had one leg thrown over his sleeping body and my arms wrapped around him. The sheets were no longer tightly tucked military style. They were bunched up between our legs. At least he was asleep, and I knew that was a feat for him based on what he shared during his interview.
I tried to climb out of the bed without disturbing him, but I wasn’t that smooth. We were forced to have the awkward morning after moment with none of the sexual exploits of the night before.
He sat up and scrubbed his face then turned to me. “You okay?”
“I’m great.” I smiled brightly as I tried to pull my hair into a ponytail and hide my splotchy face from him.
“Wow. That couldn’t have been less believable if you tried.”
I laughed at his honesty. We had tried to avoid it, but somehow we understood each other. “I could use coffee.”
“Me, too,” he agreed and climbed out of bed to head to the kitchen. The rest of the morning went by smoothly except the “what to do now” talk. He wanted to go to the police, and I wanted to forget Jameson ever existed. After I had promised to call the officer who took my original statement, I headed into my building with the heat of his gaze warming me and making me feel a little fluttery. I scolded my stupid heart. Had she already forgotten what happened the last time she liked a guy? He turned out to be a psycho. But my heart fluttered a little more, reminding me that Michael was the dream guy. I was torn between feeling something for the big, strong soldier who let me cry on his shoulder and knowing my history proved I had terrible taste in men. Why did men have to be my Achilles’ heel? I was pathetic.
It didn’t help that Lana bombarded me when I arrived home either. She made me call Dr. Wright without delay. Let’s be clear about something. Nobody makes me do anything. Mama and Daddy always said I was stubborn, and I knew I was, but the way Lana verbally manhandled me made me do whatever she told me. And I hated every second of it.
Speaking to Dr. Wright wasn’t encouraging, either. He said, “I’m sorry, Sarah, but there’s nothing I can do. You’re going to have to file an official report with the police if he’s bothering you outside of school.”
“I understand, Dr. Wright, and I have filed a report. The police offered to ‘look into it,’ which they obviously haven’t done if he is still calling me and following me. I’m only asking that you not ask me to work with him or be near him. He’s dangerous and, frankly, unstable.”
“Yes, it seems that way. I’m appalled at his behavior; he knows that, but other than removing him from my study, which I’ve done, my hands are tied. As it is, he’s going to have to catch up from his missing class time and find a new supervising professor. That should keep him too busy to bother you.” I had a feeling my professor wasn’t taking me seriously, but honestly, it wasn’t his job to help me with anything other than getting my Ph.D.
Maggie started crying again when I told her everything that had happened. “I’m so sorry this is happening to you, Sarah. You really do need to go to the judge to file that order of protection now. Your safety is the most important thing.”
“I know,” I groaned loudly while pulling at the roots of my hair. “I just don’t want to have to deal with all of this.”
“I understand. I wouldn’t either, but he can’t be allowed to hurt you,” she sniffled.
“Thanks for being supportive. I’ve never cried this much in my life.”
“Tell me about it. It isn’t even happening to me, and I’m a mess. Hormones.”
I froze. “Are you-”
“Pregnant? Yes.”
“What?! When?”
“Vegas,” she said dryly. “Effing Vegas.”
“What happens there doesn’t stay there, I guess.”
“Guess not.”
“What were you doing in Vegas?”
“Don’t shoot me, but Alexis and Billy got married. She’s pregnant, so they had a shotgun wedding.”
“Billy’s marrying the bitch troll? Seriously?” I land all the crazies, and the girl who tried to destroy Maggie’s life is marrying my ex. Great. Just great.
“Yes. I didn’t want to tell you with everything else going on, but they got married in a tacky Vegas wedding.”
“Of course, they did.”
I didn’t know what else to say to Maggie, so I told her I had work to do. I knew she wanted to say more, but I didn’t give her the chance. I needed…I didn’t know what I needed, but to be reminded of my inability to find a good guy wasn’t it. I could feel the frustration building inside of me. I wanted to scream, and I feared I might if one more thing pushed me over the edge. I took several deep breaths trying to relax. Once I felt like I had some semblance of control over my emotions, I lifted my chin then flipped my hair over my shoulder. I didn’t have time to be emotional.
Focus. I needed to focus on work. With my laptop on a pillow in front of me and my iPad propped next to me, I started transcribing the interviews for the week. I lost myself in my work and didn’t even notice when the sun went down. It wasn’t until Lana came in later that night that I realized how much time had passed.
“Did you even stop to eat?” she greeted.
“Huh?”
She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. “Eat. Food. Substance. I prefer Cheetos and Mountain Dew, but some people like vegetables and other crap.”
“Oh. No. Oops.”
“Oops? You’re such a freak. We’re doing something fun tomorrow. Danny’s covering my shifts at the lab for me. Get some sleep.” She was oddly happy for her, and as I fell asleep that night, I wondered what Lana considered fun.
Ten
Sarah
“Get up,” Lana called out from the door to my bedroom. I really needed to start locking my door. The girl had zero boundaries since we’d formed our odd little friendship.
I groaned and rolled over, wincing when I felt my bruises and scrapes rub against the bed. “One more hour.”
“No way, lady. Up. Up. You need a shower!”
“Why? What are we doing?”
“I don’t know, but it’s my first day off in three years. I want to do something fun. What do you do down South for a good time?”
I laughed. “You don’t want to know.” Lana was an animal lover and didn’t need to know how often Daddy took us hunting.
“Probably not. Think about it. We can go do whatever you want to do. Except ice-skating…Thanksgiving tourist trap and all that. We need to have a little fun.”
I had forgotten that Thanksgiving was just around the corner. Thinking about it made me miss my family. What would they think if they knew about everything I had gotten myself into over the last couple of months? I wouldn’t be returning to New York after turkey; that was for darn sure.
“That face right there is why we need to do something other than work.” She pointed to my frown then left me to get ready.
I didn’t have to think much about what I wanted to do. I didn’t know how Lana would feel about it
, but the idea I might get to see Michael again was worth her disappointment. Besides, she said we could do anything I wanted.
“So, he invited you to this race?” she asked again from the driver’s seat of her Prius. It was so not Lana, but so her in a way, too.
“Yes,” I told her for the fourth time.
“And he gave you his number?”
“And told me to text him,” I confirmed.
“Did he get your number?”
“He did.”
“And you think it’s a good idea to get involved with another man?”
“We’re not involved.”
“Okay…”
“Can that be the last time we have that conversation?”
“Fine,” she sighed with disappointment, “but it would be so much more fun if you were involved.”
“What about you? You change your hair color every quarter, but I haven’t seen you with anyone since I met you.” Her hair was currently bright green and black. Her eyebrows were black, and at some point, she had pierced the left one. It wasn’t like that when I met her, but I also didn’t remember noticing the change.
She grinned saucily. “Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.”
“I hope you didn’t do anything in the lab. You’d probably scare the animals.”
“Probably. Whoa! Look at all these cars.” I looked up as she pulled into the track. A man in an orange vest guided us to a grassy area that was serving as a parking lot.
When Michael invited me, he had said to text him when I arrived and he’d come meet me when he could. Apparently, the races today were like street races, so Randy would be racing in a couple of sprints or something like that. Michael tried explaining it, but all I could picture was Paul Walker, may he rest, and Vin Diesel going for it in the streets.
