"We will make space for you," she says, deliberately annunciating each word clearly. "You are like a son to me, and I will not allow you to sleep one more night outdoors. You hear me?"
Her kindness has always had a way of making my chest hurt, while making the resentment I have for my parents even stronger. How can a woman who is completely unrelated by blood love me more than my own mother did? That woman couldn't love me enough to stay sober for nine months, leaving me on this earth with nothing but a side effect that is a constant reminder of her lack of love for me. "I appreciate your willingness to help," I tell her.
"Raine, look at me, honey." I do as she says, always obeying her with respect she deserves. But it’s more than respect with her. Lenore’s words are always spoken with a certain tenacity that makes me look her in the eyes and shut my mouth until she's done talking. "If you don't show up at my house tonight, I will hunt you down and drag you there myself. You hear me?"
"Yes, Ma'am." I lean over and give her a kiss on the cheek, feeling the age of her powder-scented skin that seems so much older now than it did a few years ago.
"Now go eat your breakfast before it gets cold." I take my bowl over to the nearest table, grabbing a spoon on the way. As I sit down, I glance around the small dining area and see everyone’s eyes settle on me as they always do, probably wondering how someone as young as I am ended up like this. Their assumptions likely mimic the opinions of the other people around town. I must be a drug addict, an alcoholic, or a runaway. They would never guess that I was dumped on this earth and left to rot.
13
Haven
"Where in the hell have you been?" Dad is the first to shout at me as I walk through the front door. I was hoping they didn't notice my disappearance, given how often they come home after midnight and leave before sunrise, but I guess I wasn't that lucky this time.
"I was out for a walk," I tell him, pointing behind me. "Why, is everything okay?" Do I look guilty? I've gotten good at this lying gig over the years. It must be a hereditary trait that runs in my genes.
"At what time last night did you leave on this walk of yours?" Dad places his hands in his pockets and settles into his heels as he stares me down with a raised brow.
"I don't understand?" I’m hoping to appear confused.
"Haven, I know you didn't come home last night, so I need you to tell me where you were all night before I go and make some bad assumptions."
What kind of assumptions could he possibly make? "I fell asleep at Maryanne's last night. What's the problem?"
Dad takes a few steps toward me, blocking me into the foyer. "You honestly think Maryanne's parents weren't the first people I called last night?" His face is flaming and his eyes narrow. "I'm only going to ask you once more, Haven. Where were you last night?"
"Jesus. Fine. I slept on a bench at the park. I had been sitting there watching the sunset, and I fell asleep."
"You were alone?" he presses.
"Who would I have been with if it wasn't Maryanne?" I learned these question-turning tactics from him. He should be proud.
He inhales thickly through his nose and rashly blows the air back out of his pursed lips. "Don't you ever stay out all night again. The next time I don't know where you are at midnight, I will send the entire sheriff's department after you. Am I clear?"
"Yeah," I respond without hesitation. I like to tell myself that Dad doesn't scare me, but he has his moments.
Dad closes the space between us and wraps his arms around me. "You have no idea how worried I was about you last night, sweetie."
"Mom must be freaking out too, I suppose?" I know I'll have to go through this interrogation twice, and she's not likely to believe my story.
"I didn't want to worry her until I knew we had a problem, so I let her think you were asleep in your room." He releases his grip and gives me a little space.
"I'm sorry, Dad." Not sorry.
"I know."
"I really did see Maryanne yesterday. Actually, she wanted me to ask you something."
"What's that, honey?"
"Well, she has this friend, and he and his family are having some big money issues. Anyway, she wanted me to ask you if you knew anyone who had a job opening for him. I guess they're kind of desperate."
"Oh," he says, scratching at his chin. "Hmm. You know, I have a lot of administrative work to be done, and we have been looking for some extra help with it. How old is this boy?"
"Um," I pretend to think for a minute. "I want to say the guy is like twenty-one or around there. Maryann did say he's really smart and a hard worker."
"Aw, what the hell. Tell Maryanne I'll help her friend out. Anyone can do some light admin work, right? The pay is ten an hour, and I can give him about twenty hours a week. You think that'll work?"
I try to hide my excitement by gritting my teeth and swallowing away my smile. "I think that'll be just fine, but I'll run it by Maryanne real quick. Mind if I go call her?"
He nods his head toward the kitchen, dismissing me from the corner I've been held in for the last few minutes. "Let me know what she says."
I run into the kitchen and grab the phone from the wall. I fake dial Maryanne and speak the information into the dial tone. Making my pretend call short and sweet, I’m hoping Dad won’t leave before I have a chance to tell him Raine will be here to meet him in about a half hour.
"Dad?" I call out.
"In here," he answers from his office.
I make my way down the hall and up to his desk. "Maryanne is very grateful. I guess her friend was there during our conversation, and she said he could be here to meet you in about thirty minutes."
"Whoa, whoa," he says, waving his hands for me to slow down. "That's not how this works, honey. Plus, I don't have time today. I'm sure you can imagine how much I have on my plate right now."
"And he can help you. He's quite excited for this opportunity. Remember back in the day when you would have killed for just a hand up?" I can't help but squint at him a bit. We both know the truth.
"Fine, whatever. I'll meet the boy, and if he's as smart as you said he is, he can get right to work." Raine's going to be so thrilled. This is perfect.
"Thanks, Daddy."
"Daddy?" he questions. "You haven't called me that in years."
I shrug. "I'm just happy we're helping someone in need. It feels good to do that. Better than the alternative, don't you think?" Ass.
"Sure," he says, looking back down at his stack of papers. "Alright, I need to get some work done. Let me know when this boy gets here."
I back out of his office and rush to the sitting room where the window overlooks the front yard.
Twenty minutes pass, and I see Raine's truck pulling up front. I sneak out the door and meet him halfway. "What's going on?" he asks.
"Well," I say, stalling with a smile while nervously wringing my hand around my wrist. "I spoke to my dad, and he's going to give you an administrative job. It's ten dollars an hour for twenty hours a week." His expression isn't one I’ve seen before, and I don't know what he's thinking, so I wait, uncomfortably, as he takes a long minute to respond.
"Wow, I—ah, I didn't know that's what your great idea was earlier. I wish you would have said something to me first.” He’s squinting at me and scratching at the back of his head. "I mean, I'm grateful, don't get me wrong, but your dad is Mayor Leigh. I'm already employed by him, so this is a little odd, don't you think?" He's nervous. That must be what the look is. I've known since the day I met him that Dad makes him nervous. He makes everyone but me nervous.
"I know, but he's just another person, and now you know something about him that no one else knows…so that should make you a little less nervous. Plus, knowing you're already employed by him will probably make this a smooth transition, don't you think?"
"I'm not—you're right. Thank you for doing this. It's an incredible opportunity." If he truly means it, he has an odd way of showing it through his monotone and lifeless tone.
> "I told him you were Maryanne's friend since I didn't want him to know you and I know each other. It wouldn't help with the lies surrounding my whereabouts from last night."
"Smart move, but who is Maryanne?” He looks around as if someone could be listening to our conversation.
"Oh, right. Maryanne lives down the street, just three houses down. She was with me that first night at the bar and at the fair too."
"That doesn't help since there were four of you, but that's fine. I'll take it from here. Does your father really want to meet with me this soon, though?"
"I think he's going to put you right to work," I tell him.
He looks down at what he's wearing. "Haven?"
"Don't worry," I whisper.
"Famous last words, huh?" Raine places his hand on his chest and straightens his posture before walking past me. I figured he'd want me to bring him in, but he's about to walk right into my house.
"Raine!" I shout. He doesn't turn back to acknowledge me, so I chase after him, following his lead inside and down to Dad's office. "Stop. He told me to let him know when you got here."
"It's fine," he tells me. "I can take care of it."
I stop chasing him, watching as he knocks on Dad's office door without much of the nerve he had a moment ago. However, the nerves in my gut are making me feel like there's about to be some tragic accident I'm going to be forced to watch.
"Come in," Dad says.
Raine opens the door and walks inside. "Raine Carson?" Dad questions. "What can I do you for?"
Raine closes the door, leaving me out here without an inclination of what's going on in there. I didn't have the chance to play dumb about the fact that he tends to our lawn. I was going to make it look like I didn't even know that much, but they're in there, and I'm out here, helpless and a little scared for Raine.
I pace the hallway over and over, knowing minutes are flying by while I don't hear a peep. With my fingernail clamped between my teeth, I jump when the door finally opens. "No problem, I'll be right back with that." Raine walks out and closes the door behind him, walking right past me as if I weren't standing smack in the middle of the hall.
I follow at his heels until we get to the front door where he turns around and leans down toward my ear. "I'm going to pick up some papers from the town hall for him."
"So, the job is yours?"
"This is really going to complicate things," he tells me. "And thanks for telling him I'm broke."
"I was just trying to—"
"I know," he says. "Yeah, the job is mine. He seemed a little confused to see me at first, you know, considering you failed to mention my name or the fact that I already work for him and his lawn."
"Makes it look more honest." I offer a quick wink, hoping to diminish some of his apparent irritation.
"Or, it makes you look kind of oblivious," he laughs. "Whatever." With a peek in every corner, Raine leans down and places a small kiss on my lips. "Thank you. Really. I'm grateful."
With that, he slips out the door, leaving me with a tingle churning in my stomach and a flutter in my chest. "Haven!" Dad yells.
Crap. I take my time walking into Dad’s office, making it appear that I was in my bedroom rather than pacing the hall or kissing his new employee goodbye in our foyer. "Yes, Dad?"
"Didn't you know that boy already works for me?"
"No?" I say, pressing the confusion. "I didn't know he had a job at all, actually."
"He mows our lawn every Saturday. I figured my teenage daughter might notice a nice-looking boy pacing in front of her window once a week." He has an arch in his brow—one that tells me he’s trying to figure something out.
In return, I try to appear baffled. "Gosh, I've honestly never seen him before. I'm usually lost in a book on Saturday mornings. You know that, silly." He would never know that. He's way too occupied to remember I even read for enjoyment.
"I see," he says. "Well, he'll do a good job, I'm sure. Thank Maryanne for me, will you?"
"Sure thing. Thanks for doing that for Maryanne."
It looks like my days will consist of passing looks between Raine and me when he runs in and out of my house while he dotes on Dad. He's come and gone three times since he got the job four hours ago, and I've almost made it through an entire novel revolving around forbidden love. I hope my book of choice isn’t a foreshadowing of a future I'm still hopeful for.
"How long are you going to sit on the couch?" Raine asks.
"Until I finish this book," I reply.
"Well, I hope it's a good book.” He has his hands in his pockets, nervously fidgeting. “So, I'm sure I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."
"My parents are going out of town tonight, though. You're still going to be working here when my Dad is out?"
He leans toward me, smirking a bit. "No, he told me he was leaving with your mom tonight. That's why I'll be back in the morning."
I lean in to meet him and whisper, "Well, why not come back tonight?" I know he has nowhere to sleep, and I could think of worse places than my bed. Plus, watching him walk back and forth all day with only the tease of a few smiles has purely enhanced my feelings for him, not that I was trying too hard to suppress them.
Raine looks in the direction of Dad's office. "You sure? Don't you have that housekeeper or something?"
"Not at night, and I think it's a great idea."
I reach out and grab his arm, pulling him toward me, but he's quick to slip out of my grip. "Easy. He can't see us talking like this, Haven." He takes a few steps backward as a faint smile touches his lips. "Fine, then, I'll see you tonight."
"Haven, your mother and I—"
Dad pops out of nowhere, finding Raine and me saying goodbye, which is probably not the best thing to happen at the moment.
"I was just thanking Haven for the recommendation. Maryanne has been trying to help me find additional work for the past few weeks, and there hasn't been much out there," Raine tells Dad.
"Yeah, it's true, the economy in this area isn't pretty right now. I'm seeing about fixing that, though." The way Dad says this, sounds almost sickening alongside his pride-filled grin. "Anyway, glad I could help."
Raine raises his hand to offer us a quick wave. "I'll see you when you return on Tuesday, Mayor."
Raine rushes out of the house, leaving Dad and me face-to-face. We wait until the front door closes before Dad continues his brief about his trip. "Your mother and I are leaving at five tonight. We'll be in Baton Rouge at the State House until Tuesday morning. If you need anything, you give us a call, okay? Please keep that cell phone of yours on you. We got it for a reason, Haven." Yeah, so you can keep tabs on my whereabouts.
"Of course. I'll be fine," I assure him.
"I don't have to worry about you falling asleep at the park again tonight, do I? I'd like to think you'll stay out of trouble while we're gone."
Trouble? Nothing I'd consider to be trouble. "I promise you I will be sleeping in my own bed tonight," I tell him.
"Tomorrow too?" He's covering his bases for peace of mind, I'll assume.
"Do you see the bug bites on my face?" I ask him.
"I was wondering what that was." He eyes my right cheek where I have a cluster of little puffy marks.
"I won't be sleeping outside again anytime soon, trust me."
"I do trust you, honey." He leans over and gives me a kiss on the head. "Your mother should be home from her meeting in a few minutes, and then we're leaving in an hour. She said something about there being some frozen meals for you in the freezer."
"I'll be alright, Dad."
"Don't let me down," he says, pointing at me as he leaves the room.
Haven't I already done that? I wish I could say.
14
Raine
Sometime between this morning and the time it took for the sun to set again, I've lost a part of myself. Maybe it's my integrity—what I had left—or maybe it's my inability to care, but seeing that man—Frederick Leigh—aga
in, knowing what he's done, forced all my suppressed feelings to resurface. There was a boundary between us while I was mowing his lawn. He didn't make contact with me, and I didn't make contact with him. An envelope with my weekly pay was left in the mailbox, and that was that—his peace offering. That's how sorry he felt—sorry enough to offer me twenty bucks a week to mow his acre of land with a push mower. And I was delusional enough to agree. Just as I was today to take more from him. Crossing his path is something I have avoided for fear of losing control, but I proved to myself today that I have more self-control than I gave myself credit for. Nevertheless, one way or another, that asshole is going to get what's coming to him, if it's the last thing I do.
I ring the bell on Haven's front door, watching the front light flicker on while the sound of stomping feet grows in volume. The door swings open, and Haven is standing in front of me, looking like a hot mess. Half of her hair is up in a messy bun, while the rest of it is loosely framing her freckled face. She's dressed as if she were going to bed, but at the same time, wearing that sexy red lipstick she wore the first couple of times we met up. She looks up at me expectantly, with an impish grin. “Do I want to know what you've been up to or why you're wearing that lipstick after I asked you to stop torturing me with it?" I ask her hesitantly, focusing on what appears to be flour coating the front of her tight, black tank top.
Her grin widens, and I see the devil gleaming in her eye. "Come on in," she says breathlessly, holding her wet hands up in the air. "I didn't think you'd be here so early." She jogs through the house, and I hear a pot or pan slamming against metal.
Curious now, I follow the sounds, finding Haven in the middle of the kitchen, circling around between three pots of over-boiling liquid, a running sink, an open fridge, and the center island, which is covered with a variety of ingredients. "Either you take cooking very seriously, or you haven't got a clue how to cook." I can’t help but laugh at the scene, regardless of her apparent flustered state.
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