"I'm the lucky one," I tell her, running my hand gently over her growing belly. "A wife, two beautiful children, and two more on the way, plus Lauren." I feel so damn happy; I could cry right here. "Haven, this is my dream, and it's come true. I don’t know how a person could be luckier than that." I place a kiss on her red painted lips, breathing in her sweet smell. Entranced by her scent, I pull away, looking her into the eyes. "You know that red lipstick of yours is what keeps getting you into situations like this." We look down at her swollen belly and laugh.
"This is what you wanted—we wanted, and we got it," she says, kissing me gently.
A hand on my shoulder pulls my attention away from Haven's beautiful smile. Finding a familiar face, I pause for a moment before greeting him. "Frederick," I say, curtly. My thoughts immediately become hazy. I never thought I’d see the day when he stepped foot back into this town.
"Congratulations," Frederick offers. "I'm proud of you two."
I clear my throat first, still stalling for words that aren’t coming to me. "Um—what brings you back here?" I ask.
"I didn't want to miss the opening."
"Dad?" Haven says, noticing him. “What are you doing here?”
“Haven—” he tries to speak.
“No. Get out. You’re not welcome in this town or near my family or me. Get. Out.”
“I’m your daddy, Haven. It’s been years, and you still won’t talk to us. It’s breaking our hearts.”
Haven moves from behind me, showcasing her belly, the life we have built—the one her parents know nothing about. “I wasn’t kidding you when I told you I never wanted to see or speak to you again.” She takes a short breath, forcing a fake smile across her lips as she attempts to maintain her composure. “Now, as I’ve said, please leave before I get the sheriff over here.”
“Can you just give me a minute to talk?” Frederick pleads as he takes a step closer to her.
Still, with her unwavering smile, I can see Haven’s gritting her teeth like she does when she’s furious. “No. You will have nothing to do with me, my four children, or my husband. We all have multiple chances to do things right in our lives, but sometimes, we only have one chance to screw it all up and ruin everything. And, that’s what you’ve done.”
Frederick reaches out a hand to her. “I’m trying to make things right now, though. I’ve gotten a job. I’m taking care of your mother, and we just moved into a small little apartment a few towns over. I’m rebuilding everything, and I’m doing it the right way this time.”
Haven snickers and her smile grows wider. “This time, you’re doing whatever you’re doing...without me. I don’t want you in my life now, or ever. Stop making this harder than it has to be.”
Frederick pulls his hand back and slips it into his pocket. “Raine, son, can I talk to you for a moment?”
Haven doesn’t speak up or shoot him down on my behalf because she knows exactly how I feel—how I will always feel. He isn’t worth my time, but he’s hurting her and I can’t let it continue. “Frederick, I’m going to give you five minutes to get out of my town. That’s it. Just five minutes. You know, I’ve done a lot of good in these last few years, and I’ve tried hard to forgive people, but—”
Frederick interrupts me, probably hoping I’d forgive him too. “That’s great to hear, Raine. That makes me very happy.”
I grin, keeping my mouth closed, giving him a look that tells him he’s not getting any closer until Haven agrees to it. “Yes, but regardless of what Haven thinks of your relationship with her, I will never forgive you for what you did to my life. Now, again, please follow my wife’s wishes and leave this town.”
“I want to see my family and meet my grandkids,” he grunts. “She’s mine.” He points at Haven as if she were a piece of property.
I hold up my hand, pointing at my wedding band. “Actually, this girl right here, the love of my life, she is mine.”
“Please, leave,” Haven says, weakness breaking through her words. “I don’t want you to meet your grandkids because I’m ashamed of who you are.”
Frederick’s eyes burn with a red tinge and he drops himself to his knees, folding his hands over his chest. “Please,” he breathes. “I don’t expect forgiveness, but I love you, Haven, no matter what you say or think.”
Haven looks at me with question, as if she were searching for the answer in my eyes, but we’ve talked about this a million times. This is her choice and I will stand by her decision, so I place my hand on her back and comfort her the only way I can.
“You spent so long only loving yourself, Dad.”
“You’re right,” Frederick says, his words sounding like they’re stuck in his throat.
“I need more time,” she tells him. Her lips are quivering, and it’s killing me to know she’s still going through this pain that never seems to end. “Maybe someday I can move past the horrible things you have done, but someday isn’t today.”
Frederick sniffles and nods his head with understanding. “Okay then, your mother and I will keep praying for someday,” he says while struggling to pull himself up from his knees.
Haven cups her hand over her mouth and squeezes her eyes closed. “Please, go,” she whimpers.
“Please,” I tell Frederick.
He solemnly dips his head to say goodbye before turning to walk away.
The moment Frederick is out of sight, Haven falls into me and the tears begin to flow. I know it’s mostly from the hormones, but that man has overshadowed so much of her life, and she’s just learning to stand on her own without that dark power hanging over her head.
I think Haven will eventually find forgiveness in her big heart, but it’s going to take a while to undo the years of damage.
Personally, I don’t know if I would forgive the woman who put me on this earth if she were standing here right now with an apology, but sometimes I wish I at least had that option. My father, on the other hand, has never even sent me a letter and obviously doesn’t care enough to know if I’m alive.
After living through abandonment, poverty, hate, and everything in between, I can stand here today in a fitted blue suit, my shoulders back, and my chin up, all while knowing that the bad in my life has molded me into a good man—an upstanding role-model for my kids, and the loving husband my wife deserves. They will never question my intentions, feelings, or the fact that I would happily go to the ends of the earth for them.
“I’m real proud of you,” I tell Haven.
“Then why do I feel like a terrible person?”
“Because you are made up of all good things, and you don’t have a mean bone in your body. However, that man ruined half of your life, and what you just did, was for you, something that still feels foreign to you. I told you I’d support you if you wanted to forgive him, if it would make you happy, but you made this decision on your own, which means you know what’s right for your heart.”
“My parents could never make me happy right now,” she says, looking deep into my eyes with sincerity.
“Then you did the right thing.” I kiss her on the forehead and pull in a lungful of air.
She lifts her head from my chest and cups her hands around my cheeks. "This is why I love you, Raine Carson. You always let me be me."
"And I've loved you since the day you stripped down in front of your window, just for me," I say, teasing her with a smile.
"You're never going to let that go, are you?” she groans.
"Oh, sweetie, that story will be told at our kids' weddings. Trust me."
I kiss my wife, thanking every misfortunate detail in my life that brought me to her—this place, highlighting my undeniable happiness and appreciation for every small thing after having nothing for so long.
* * *
The bright sunrise after the darkest night will always define where I've come from and where I'm going.
About the Author
Shari J. Ryan is an International Bestselling Author of heartbreakers and mind-ben
ders. Shari was once told she tends to exaggerate often and sometimes talks too much, which would make a great foundation for fictional books. Four years later, Shari has written eleven novels that often leave readers in tears either from laughing, or crying.
With her loud Boston girl attitude, Shari isn't shy about her love for writing or the publishing industry. Along with writing several international bestsellers, Shari splits her time between writing and her longstanding passion for graphic design. In 2014, she started an indie-publishing resource company, MadHat Books, to help fellow authors with their book cover designs, as well as assistance in the self-publishing process.
While Shari may not find many hours to sleep, she still manages to make time for her family. She is a devoted wife to a great guy, and a mother to two little boys who remind her daily why she was put on this earth.
You can find Shari at:
@sharijryan
authorsharijryan
www.sharijryan.com
[email protected]
Also by Shari J. Ryan
Full Length Novels:
A Heart of Time
A Missing Heart
Spiked Lemonade
TAG
Ravel
No Way Out
Red Nights
The Schasm Series
* * *
Novellas:
You’re It
White Midnight
Queen of the Throne
A Change of Heart
Raine's Haven Page 28
