by Tawny Weber
Her head spinning from the overload of memories, Gwen tore her gaze off of Sam to look for the handiest exit. Before she could find one, Russell ran a friendly hand over the small of her back again.
“We’ll have to toast Briarwood Court,” he said. “Who’d have thought when we moved there fifteen years ago that I’d bring the girl next door with me to celebrate my sister marrying the guy across the street.”
Who, indeed.
“To hear dad tell it, it was all his idea,” Bryanna said, her laugh taking on a teasing edge. “He said you’re next, Russell.”
“Did he now?” Russell mused, giving Gwen the oddest look. “I guess we’ll have to see how his planning works out. Wont’ we, Gwen?”
Huh? Confused, her only response was a stiff smile.
“Why don’t I get you ladies a drink so we can have that toast?” Russell offered. “I’ll be right back.”
“Thanks,” Gwen said faintly. Since she couldn’t escape, she hoped he’d make it a double.
“We’ll meet you at the buffet,” Bryanna said. “I want to show Gwen the cake.”
“Yum, cake,” Gwen murmured.
Bryanna’s grin flashed with an ease Gwen had always envied. Though two years younger, the blonde had always had a huge personality.
“I just said that to get you alone,” Bryanna said with a laugh as she tucked her arm into Gwen’s to pull her across the room. “After all, I hear tonight could be extra special.”
Bryanna led them easily through the noisy crowd, tossing smiles and waves of acknowledgement as they went but not slowing down.
“What could be more special than your engagement?” Gwen countered absently, nodding to acquaintances as they moved through the crowd, wishing someone would jump in and demand her attention so she could escape the bridal joy emanating from the younger woman long enough to catch her breath.
“Oh, I’d say another engagement would make tonight perfect,” Bryanna told her, all but singing the words. She stopped at the dessert table to offer Gwen a chocolate covered strawberry before flashing a huge smile and rubbing her hands together with barely controlled glee. The pretty woman leaned forward to whisper, “Rumor has it that Russell’s going to make my dad’s wish come true. He’s going to pop the question.”
“Russell is really getting engaged?” Gwen frowned. How had she missed that? “I didn’t even realize he was serious about anyone.”
“Um, helloo,” Bryanna drawled. She looked a little confused as she gestured to Gwen with her second strawberry before nibbling at the dark chocolate shell.
“Me?” Gwen laughed and shook her head. Even as she tried to shrug it off, though, her stomach tightened into a tiny, worried knot. “We aren’t even dating. I mean, we go to a number of parties and social events together, but that’s business. You know what a workaholic your brother is.”
“Sure, but he’s a workaholic who goes to parties and social events now,” Bryanna said with an arch look. “He didn’t do that before you came on board. And look at how comfortable he is around you.”
“Russell and I have been friends since grade school. That’s why he’s so comfortable with me and why he brings me to those social events. It’s not because he’s interested in me romantically. It’s because I’m safe and easy for him to hang out with,” she defended, her smile sliding into a frown.
She wanted to laugh off the comments as the sweet imaginings from a woman so wrapped up in her own love story that she saw sequels everywhere. But the laugh got caught on the knot in her throat.
“Big brother’s a little slow sometimes. And he’s always been big on privacy. Nobody knows what Russell is going to do half the time until he does it.” Bryanna shrugged. “You know how he is, always thinking and rethinking things. Heck, it took him a year to pick the rug in his office.”
Gwen blinked. Had Bryanna just compared her to a Berber carpet? It didn’t matter. She was sure the younger woman was wrong. She cast a desperate look around the room, searching for Russell so he could set his sister straight.
“Sam thinks it’s cool, too.” Bryanna’s words snagged Gwen’s attention again. “He even promised to try to get leave for your wedding. You’ll let me know when it is soon, right?”
Gwen pressed her fingers over her temple, hoping she could rub away the confusion.
“You told Sam about this?” she repeated faintly.
“Well, yeah. I mean, helloo, we’re getting married. That means we tell each other everything.” When Gwen raised her brows, Bryanna shrugged and wrinkled her nose. “Okay, so I tell him everything. I know he’s got all that top secret SEAL stuff going on now. I’m just glad he didn’t listen to Eli and buy into the whole SEALs go it alone stuff they used to spout.”
With an easy roll of her eyes, Bryanna dismissed her older brother’s oft-spouted beliefs. Beliefs that Noah had bought into, lock stock and barrel.
“Are you okay?” the younger woman asked, gripping Gwen’s arm. “You’re kinda pale.”
Pale, sick to her stomach and filled with such a flurry of emotions that Gwen was surprised her hair wasn’t standing on end.
“I’m going to get a breath of air,” she excused, hoping she wasn’t wheezing. “Back in a flash.”
She considered it a credit to her control—and her four-inch-heels—that she didn’t run for the balcony doors. Instead she made her way across the room in a sedate saunter, which was the best her shaking knees could handle.
Shit, shit, shit.
She liked Russell.
She’d worked with him for two and a half years now, had known him even longer since they’d grown up in the same neighborhood. Russell, Bryanna and their older brother Eli had lived across the street from Gwen, and next door to Bryanna’s fiancé Sam and his brother, Noah.
And unlike Noah had been, Russell was a sweet guy, and a great friend.
And he’d been a great safety net the last few years, a nice buffer against her mom’s matchmaking and the idea of dating. Could that have given him the wrong impression? It must have if he was thinking marriage.
Marriage that he was going to propose tonight of all nights.
Could this fiasco get any worse?
Gwen took a long, deep gulp of the foggy San Francisco air, hoping it’d clear her head.
Behind her, someone coughed a quiet bid for attention.
Steeling herself with her best social smile, Gwen turned to offer an excuse or a dismissal. Whichever would get rid of the other person until she got herself together.
As if the heavens had heard her question and mistaken it as a joke, there stood the man she’d never gotten over. One shoulder leaning against a pillar, his crooked smile was as familiar as her dreams.
“Hey, babe. Miss me?”
A SEAL’s Sacrifice: Chapter Two
Damn, she was still gorgeous.
Gwen Fitzpatrick had always been good looking. So much so that he’d sometimes wondered late at night if he’d made her out to be prettier in his mind than she was in real life.
But seeing her again for the first time in three years, he had to admit it. None of his imaginings had come close to how hot she was now.
She’d grown her hair out. Instead of framing her face in a shaggy bob, it flowed over her shoulders like black silk, the ends teasing the lush curves of her full breasts. His hands warmed, itching to touch, to test their weight.
Had they changed?
Were her nipples still hypersensitive? Did she moan when they were licked, whimper when they were nibbled? Would she still come if he teased them and whispered dirty suggestions in her ear?
Once upon a time, he’d known Gwen’s body as well as he did his own. He’d known what turned her on, what sent her over the edge. He’d known where her boundaries were and how to push her past them. He’d been able to read her every expression.
Like the one she was giving him now.
Wide-eyed shock combined with a million memories, a smidge of horror and, if he wasn’t mistaken, t
here beneath that sheen of fear was a nice layer of lust.
He liked the lust. Especially when he was feeling quite a bit of it himself.
Noah Morelli rocked back on his heels with a wicked smile. Sure, it’d been three years since he’d last seen her. Things changed. But as long as that lust was there, he figured he had a shot at changing the important things back the way he wanted them. Back the way they were meant to be.
Despite his decision to confront Gwen, he’d wondered if his feelings for her were real or if he was in love with the memory of Gwen rather than the woman herself.
That’s why he was here. To figure out his emotions, to find out hers. Before it was too late.
He’d planned to take it slow. To keep this first encounter non-threatening and talk her into meeting him in the morning for coffee at that little café she’d liked so much.
But the tight heat in his body distracted him. Damned if she didn’t still get him hard and ready with a single glance. If he touched her skin, felt the silky texture of her hair on his body, he knew the need would shift to throbbing demand.
Ready to let it, desperate to appease it, Noah moved forward.
Before he could reach out, before he’d taken three steps, Gwen’s expression shifted. It was as if she’d turned to ice. Her entire demeanor chilled, from her distant eyes to the stiff set of her shoulders.
His grin faded.
When had she learned to do that?
“What are you doing here?” Her voice was so cold he was surprised he couldn’t see an icy fog drifting off her lips.
“It’s my brother’s engagement party,” he countered. He was very well trained, so he knew his confusion didn’t show on his face. But his irritation might. He’d never been able to disguise his edgier feelings around Gwen. “Where else would I be?”
The look in her big blue eyes suggested that she’d rather he was dancing through the flames of hell. But unlike the Gwen he’d known before, the siren on the balcony didn’t hiss out a wish for his misery. She didn’t cuss at him or even toss a sarcastic comment his way. She simply arched one of those slender brows of hers and inclined her head, royal to peasant.
“Where else, indeed,” she murmured, flicking a glance toward the party happening behind him. “Then you should be in there with your brother, celebrating.”
He’d finagled leave, spent a day on standby waiting for a plane, and then to top it all off, had been subjected to seven hours of his mother’s fluttering.
No way in hell he’d have gone through all of that just to slap his brother on the back and wish the bride-to-be luck.
He’d come to see Gwen before it was too late.
To see if those feelings that had haunted him for the last three years were real, or simply a memory. And if he had to sleep with her to find out, well, he was willing to give it his all.
But he knew better than to tell her that. So Noah leaned back on his heels and offered a grin again. This time making sure it had a wicked edge.
He’d figured that his mere presence making her want to jump into his arms was a long shot. So he’d go with Plan B. He’d piss her off. A pissed off Gwen was a passionate Gwen. And he loved it when her passions ignited.
“Sam’s busy fending off congratulatory advice,” he said, tacking back to her suggestion he go hang out with his brother.
“I’m sure there are other members of your family who’d like to see you,” she pointed out in a tone that made it clear that she was anything but sure. She stepped to one side as if to go around him. Noah simply blocked her.
“I’d rather catch up with you.”
“You’re here to see your family, to celebrate your brother’s engagement.” Her expression didn’t waver. But from the way her jaw stiffened, he figured he was making progress.
“Sure I am. But I’m good at multi-tasking,” he reminded her. “I can check out the view, remind my family that I exist, celebrate and hit on you all at the same time.”
“Hit on me?” she asked, her voice two decibels higher at the end of her sentence and her eyes shooting sparks.
And there it was. Noah didn’t bother toning down his grin. Not when it felt so good to watch the flush pour from her high cheekbones, down her throat and wash over that gorgeous chest of hers. Satisfaction tangled with desire as he remembered in vivid detail that she blushed the same way when she was turned on.
She also made the sweetest little mewling sound and sucked her lower lip between her teeth just before she came. A vision he planned on seeing before the clock struck midnight.
Rock hard, Noah reveled in the anticipation pouring through his system. How many times had they ended up tearing each other’s clothes off in the middle of an argument, their spiking emotions setting off an explosion of lust? Hell, how many times had he wound her up for just that reaction?
Then, just like that, she reeled her temper back. He could actually see her do it. A deep breath that did amazing things for the sequins covering her breasts, a quick clench of her fists so her nails dug into her palms instead of his back, and a tightening of her lips.
“I don’t know what game you’re trying to play, but you can leave me out of it,” she told him, waving her hand in a shooing motion. “I’m going inside.”
Seriously? Noah blinked, surprised that he could be surprised. But really? She thought he’d just move out of her way so she could walk away from him? Sure, he’d been the one to walk away three years ago, but she’d said that she understood. So what was up with the woman scorned routine?
Noah shifted again, angling his shoulders just enough to block her exit. She wasn’t leaving until found out what was going on.
He hadn’t anticipated quite this reaction. His entire strategy was based on the years of knowledge he’d amassed by studying—okay, obsessing over—Gwen Kirkpatrick. He had no doubt that he’d succeed. He’d simply have to modify his approach.
He’d made Gwen lose control once.
Hell, he’d made her lose it thousands of times—only hundreds of which had been while they were naked.
He might have to work a little harder than he’d planned, but one way or the other, he’d make her lose it again.
“Don’t you want to hear what I’ve been up to the last three years? Ask me about the places I’ve seen?” He stepped forward, letting his grin ease into a smile of remembrance. She’d always quizzed him like a game show host when he’d come home on leave before. “Want to know how many cuisines I’ve tasted now? Or see pictures from around the world?”
Once, she’d have done all of that. Three years ago he’d entertained the idea of bringing her with him to live on whatever foreign base he was assigned. Then he’d remembered that most of those assignments would be top secret, temporary and treacherous.
So he’d left her instead.
His smile dimmed.
“Why would I want to hear about anything you’ve done or anywhere you’ve seen?” she countered in a coolly puzzled tone that dismissed the idea as ridiculous.
“Because it’s a big world out there and you’re curious about all the fun it holds,” he said quietly, quoting one of her favorite sayings. “You remember all the places we talked about, don’t you? The ones we wanted to see together.”
Her eyes flashed hot. Then her lashes swept down before he could tell if they’d sparked with anger or pain. Noah’s gut clenched. He could handle the anger. Meet it, greet it, use it.
But pain? He hated that thought.
“Thanks to the internet, the world is much smaller than it used to be. Anything I want to see or know, I can find myself,” she said, jerking one silky white shoulder in dismissal.
“You have changed,” he murmured.
“Of course I’ve changed. It’s been three years, Noah. What’d you think?” She gave him a derisive look, her eyes skimming from the top of his neatly shorn head to the tips of his glossy dress shoes. “Did you expect me to lock myself in a box, pining away for you like a sad schoolgirl?”
It wasn’t the smart-ass comment that bothered him. He had a fine appreciation for Gwen’s mouthy remarks. It was the ring of truth in her voice. The lack of heat in her eyes now. And the absolute indifference in her body language.
She’d not only learned control, she’d mastered it.
That shouldn’t piss him off. It wasn’t like he’d wanted her waiting at home, what’d she called it? Pining for him? When they’d agreed that ending their affair was the right thing to do, he’d told her to get on with her life. And he’d expected her to do exactly that.
But he didn’t know this new Gwen.
Did that mean she no longer got that little hiccup when she laughed or that she no longer gave that soft sigh just before she drifted into sleep? Had she quit tearing up over holiday movies or lost her taste for those pecan cookies she used to gobble up? What about her dreams, her goals? Were those different, too?
That he didn’t know drove him crazy. That he might never find out again was like a knife in his gut.
Irritated at how lost that made him feel, he shoved his clenched fists into the pockets of his slacks.
He’d known what he was giving up when he’d walked away. And for the last three years, he’d told himself he was okay with that.
But now he wasn’t.
He wanted Gwen back. He didn’t know for how long, or for what purpose. That’s what he’d come home to find out.
As if reading his mind, Gwen shook her head.
“I don’t know what you’re up to, but it’s not going to work, Noah,” she told him, a tiny frown creasing her brow. “Let me go inside before someone sees us out here and gets the wrong idea.”
Noah was a man with many failings, all of which he readily acknowledged. He was pig-headedly stubborn, focused to the point of having tunnel vision and held a grudge like it was the Holy Grail. He liked to be right, and had a good enough ego to know he usually was. He buried his sentimental streak deep, refused to admit mistakes and didn’t believe that happiness could last.
