by Tawny Weber
Seriously?
But his gaze was back on Gwen before his brother finished rolling his eyes.
She’d reached the edge of the dance floor and seemed to hesitate. The light played off her silver dress, sequins shooting sparks back toward the chandeliers as Gwen swayed this way then that. Stay or go, he knew she was debating. She tended to hide when she was upset, to burrow away until she was ready to face people.
Noah frowned, his gut clenched tight.
Had he done that? Ruined her evening that much?
The same way he’d ruined things three years ago?
He expected her to go.
But instead of sailing toward the exit, she moved through the crowd of celebrants toward the front of the ballroom.
And made Noah wonder why.
“Let’s all put our hands together to thank the people who are standing with Bryanna and Sam.” Able to gauge the man now, Noah automatically leaned back just before Spencer’s arm arced his way. “Tansy Berk and Noah Morelli.”
Obviously a believer in ladies first, Spencer gestured to the woman on the other side of Bryanna to step up to the microphone that he hadn’t needed. Noah almost grinned when he heard the sigh come through, loud and clear, when Tansy took her place.
As the slick brunette told a funny story about the couple, Noah remembered that her sister had been just as amusing. But Eli had walked away from Macy, choosing duty over love. Because they’d trained together, planned together, schemed together, he’d expected every guy in their Sea Cadet unit who’d taken the vow to do the same.
Stupidly, blindly, disastrously, Noah had.
But Sam hadn’t.
“To a couple that deserves every taste of happiness that life can dish up,” Tansy said, her voice rising as she lifted the glass the hovering waiter handed her. “Bryanna and Sam. To their life together.”
Noah took a glass of his own, lifting it high even as his gaze sought Gwen’s. He frowned when he saw that she’d moved even closer. Now she was right there, less than ten feet away. Close enough to be brought up on the platform when Russell got his hands on the mic.
“Here’s a speech from the best man. Ladies and gentlemen, Petty Officer Noah Morelli with a few words of wisdom for the happy couple.”
Wisdom? Seriously?
He knew there was probably an irony in that, but he didn’t have time to find it. Not when Spencer was glowering at him from his four-inch and fifty pound advantage.
Ignoring the mic since it’d only hammer home that he was talking in front of a couple hundred people, Noah stepped forward. For a second, he looked at the glass of champagne in his hands, then looked at his brother.
He only had to clear his throat once, but thankfully after he did the words were there.
“A wise man recently told me that we all have our strengths, just as we all have our weaknesses. The trick is knowing which is which.” A wave of laughter rolled through the crowd as Sam grinned at having his words thrown back at him. “A guy smart enough to know that is smart enough to make the right choices in life.”
His gaze shifted toward Gwen, standing there just out of reach with a polite expression on her pretty face.
“It’s our choices that make us who we are,” Noah said slowly, his eyes roaming her face.
Then, remembering why he was babbling emotionally in front of the crowd, he cleared his throat and looked back to his brother.
“To Sam,” he said. “A man who’s made a great choice in wanting to spend his life with Bryanna. Because she makes him want to be a stronger man.”
Surprise and gratitude flashed in Sam’s eyes, then he nodded.
“And to Bryanna.” Noah’s gaze shifted to the pretty blonde. “Who is strong enough to love a SEAL. To me, there’s no stronger woman than that. Together, you’ll be happy because you’ll refuse to accept anything less.”
Ready to be done, Noah lifted his glass in the air so fast he almost had a champagne shower. As soon as Sam lifted his in return, Noah knocked back a deep swallow, then, denying his urge to jump off the platform, returned to his position next to his brother.
And waited to escape.
Five minutes later, he was seriously reconsidering running. Not satisfied with just the wedding party toasting happy couple, Spencer had called up reinforcements.
“You’re got to be kidding,” Noah murmured to his brother when the old man had stepped off the platform to get more champagne
“You don’t have to stay up here,” Bryanna said, leaning around Sam with a sympathetic smile. She stood on tiptoe to look past his shoulder, then winked. “Go ahead, go. Dad will be distracted browbeating the caterer for another minute at least.”
Noah followed her gaze and figured she’d probably overestimated the escape window by a half.
“Cover me,” he told his brother as he turned to go.
“You’re not leaving the hotel, are you? You’re just getting out of the spotlight, right?”
Damn.
Noah’s feet froze.
Since he was going to take off, he turned back around to give Sam a one-armed hug and a slap on the back.
“Congratulations, man,” he said before turning to Bryanna. Her hug was gentler and he skipped the backslap. Instead, he brushed a kiss over her cheek before meeting her surprised eyes.
“Take care of him.”
“Noah—”
“Gotta go,” he said, interrupting Sam and jumping off the platform at the same time. Because he had to get the hell out of here before this blessed reprieve was over.
He angled toward the exit, but before he’d taken three steps he saw his mother crying into some lacy piece of fabric. She was surrounded by a multitude of women doing the same, all of whom were related to him in some way and none of whom would hesitate to cut off his escape.
He checked the other exit and saw the path lined with more relatives.
So he turned on one heel, did an about face, and headed for the balcony.
He wasn’t hiding.
Just staying out of the way until he could leave.
Because if he stayed, he’d make another play for Gwen.
But he knew, even though it went against every instinct, every reflex, that he should simply walk away without a fight.
Gwen deserved that much from him.
If it were just him, he’d take it to the limits. He’d do whatever it took to get her back, to keep her as his and his alone. But this wasn’t about what he wanted. He’d realized that when he was up with Sam and Bryanna.
He’d had his chance and he’d blown it.
Now, it was what Gwen wanted, what her heart felt that mattered most. Because, bottom line, her happiness was more important than his heart.
Russell was a good guy. Dependable, hard working, nice. He’d treat Gwen right. If he’s who she wanted, then he’s who Gwen should have.
Noah planted his elbows on the balcony rail, staring unseeing out at the view beyond, and tried to come to grips with it all. But he couldn’t, because it sucked.
This was one hell of a time to realize he was head over heels, ass in the air, flat on his face in love with her.
A SEAL’s Sacrifice: Chapter Ten
Gwen stood at the doors to the balcony, part of her wanting to run for the nearest exit and part of her desperate to rush out there and hug Noah.
She’d never seen him look so down.
Her heart ached at the sight of him leaning against the balcony with that bummed look on his face. Had she caused that? Had she hurt him? She’d never thought she could.
She should have added that to the list she’d given Russell. That a relationship worth having came with responsibility for always considering the other person’s feelings. She hadn’t considered Noah’s when she’d walked out of that closet. She’d been too afraid.
She was still afraid. Her knees were trembling almost as much as they had in the closet, but Gwen forced herself to step onto the balcony.
She knew she was risking
heartbreak. That nobody in the world could hurt her like Noah could. She’d be smarter to go home, grateful that she’d walked away from this night with an important friendship and her job intact. The only thing she’d lost was her panties.
She sighed. And, of course, her heart.
A little voice in the back of her head warned her to turn around and leave. After all, a lost heart was easier to recover from than a broken one.
But Gwen knew she had to try.
After listening to Noah’s speech, she couldn’t just walk away. Seeing him up there, so uncomfortable talking about emotions—especially in front of a crowd, she’d known she’d had no choice. She had to at least say goodbye.
Because he’d put himself out there for love. Sure, it was love for his brother. And from the sidelong glances he’d slid toward Martin Spencer, there had probably been a little coercion involved. But the words had been Noah’s.
As had been the emotion in his eyes when he’d looked at her. She’d seen many things from Noah over the years. Friendship, amusement and support. Irritation, frustration and anger. Appreciation, awe and lust.
But what she’d thought she saw up on that stage was new. It had made her heart tremble. She’d been afraid to tell herself it was love in those dark eyes. Just in case she was wrong.
But on the off chance she’d been right, she had to find out.
With that in mind, she forced herself to step forward.
That’s all it took to get Noah’s attention. She knew she hadn’t made a sound, but whether it was instinct or SEAL training, he immediately turned to face her.
“Hi.” Her smile wobbled a little but her eyes were steady. “Hey.” His expression shifting from gloomy to remote with just a blink, Noah leaned back so both of his elbows were anchored to the balcony as he gave her a long stare. “Did you want to break it to me personally?”
Break what? That her body had started vibrating as soon as she’d come within two feet of him, the sexual need amped up on high? That she still loved him and wanted to give them a chance? That she thought his speech was perfect, and had wished with every word that he’d been talking about them instead of another couple?
She didn’t ask, though, instead she arched an inquiring brow.
“Your engagement?” he reminded her with something that might have been an attempt at a smile. But his eyes looked miserable. “You and Russell. Did you make the big announcement?”
He really thought she’d gone through with it.
Gwen sucked in a breath, trying not to hiss. But she couldn’t decide if she was more shocked or irritated that the man would think she’d do the upright naked mambo with him, then an hour later promise to marry another man.
The she saw the look in his eyes. A miserable sort of acceptance.
Gwen knew she should feel bad, but seeing it there made her want to shout with glee.
She didn’t know if it was his misery, or if it was the fact that her body simply couldn’t hold onto all of that tension any longer. But all of a sudden, she felt fabulous. Happy dancingly fabulous. No more fear, no more doubts.
Just determination.
She wasn’t positive what she was about to do was right, but she knew it wasn’t wrong.
“My engagement?” Gwen strolled over to the railing, stopping just a foot away from him. Far enough to maintain the distance she needed for this conversation. But close enough to throw herself into his arms if it went well. “You know, it’s funny how everyone seemed to think I would be getting engaged tonight.”
“Didn’t Russell propose?”
Not in so many words.
“Russell doesn’t love me,” she said instead, watching Noah’s face carefully. “And I don’t love him.”
Noah’s eyes lit, but the gleam dimmed right away.
“What about those lessons you talked about? The ones you took to mean we shouldn’t be together?”
Ooh boy. Tempted to simply throw herself in his arms and avoid the rest of this conversation, Gwen twisted her fingers tightly together to hide their trembling.
Even as a part of her wished he’d confessed his feelings first, the rest of her knew he had. He’d come back for her. He’d come after her. And if she wasn’t mistaken about the intention she’d seen in his eyes when she’d stepped out onto the balcony, he’d been willing to let her go.
Those weren’t words, but Noah wasn’t a man of words. Her gaze traced the rigid set of his jaw, the soft line of his lips.
Noah was a man of action.
And his actions had been confession enough.
“The lesson I learned was to protect my heart,” she confessed, the words coming out in a nervous rush. “I thought I’d be setting myself up for heartbreak if I let you back into my life.”
He closed his eyes for a second, looking as if she’d just dealt him a vicious blow. Then he sighed.
“Because I broke your heart before.”
“No.” Gwen took a deep breath, this time to confess to the both of them. “I did. I never told you how I felt. I was so afraid of being hurt before that I pretended my feelings were casual and easy. But I knew before we slept together the first time that I was in love with you.”
If he’d looked like she’d hit him before, he now looked like she’d pulled out a gun and shot him in the foot. His jaw dropped, shock glazing his eyes.
“You loved me? You never said...”
“I thought you’d leave. Sooner,” she corrected, making him grimace. “I knew you’d leave no matter what. But I thought you’d leave sooner if you knew how I felt.”
He nodded, looking like he might leave now.
“That’s the part that was my fault,” she said quickly, wanting to get past it so they could get on to the hugging and kissing. “But you had plenty of fault, too. You and that stupid pledge of yours.”
“It was a stupid pledge,” he agreed in the same disgusted tone. As she’d laughed, he reached out to slide two fingers over her hair, then dropped his hand back to his side. “But I needed it. In a weird way, that vow made me a SEAL.”
Noah shook his head when she opened her mouth to protest.
“Eli always knew he could do it. He has this rock-solid confidence that pretty much breaks through any barriers. His old man’s a sailor, so it’s like it was in the blood.” A tiny frown creasing his brow, Noah seemed to be staring into his past. Gwen wasn’t sure if he even realized he’d slid his fingers into her hair again, but she was definitely aware of the smooth caress. “My old man is an insurance salesman and my mother is afraid of the water. It was never the sure thing in my head that I’d make the team the way it was a sure thing in Eli’s.”
“Russell told me once that Bryanna said Sam never doubted he’d make it to the SEALs because he was a Morelli. So you pretty much empowered your brother to be as much of a success as you are.”
“As much?” Noah laughed. “The jerk beat my records.”
And just like that, Gwen understood.
Eli had grown up a Navy brat, had lived, ate and breathed the idea of being a SEAL since he was a kid. Sam’s big brother had paved the way to clear a lot of the doubts brought on by having parents who didn’t get it.
But Noah?
Noah had had to prove it to himself, by himself. The only one who’d actually mentored or inspired him was Eli. That vow they’d made must have been like a talisman for Noah against the doubts.
“If that pledge got you through, made you a SEAL and kept you safe, then I guess I have to be grateful to it,” she said, reaching up to cup her palm over the warmth of his cheek. “That doesn’t mean I’m not upset about how things ended, or wish we hadn’t lost those years.”
“But?” he said in a hopeful tone.
“But...” She bit her lip. “I understand.”
“So does understanding mean that you’re ready to give us a try again?” He slid the hand that wasn’t already tangled in her hair around her waist and pulled her tight against him. Lust sparked inside her almost as
bright as the huge smile spreading across Noah’s face.
And lust, like passion and desire and all those other feel-good things, clouded her brain enough to keep her from saying the most important thing she needed to say.
“Wait.” Gwen stepped back so fast she almost tripped over her feet. “What exactly are you wanting to try? Because as great as sex in the closet was, that’s not what I’m looking for.”
“Anything,” he promised, closing the space between them. Hot and tempting, his hands slid over her hips. “I want you, Gwen. And I’ll do whatever it takes to have you. Today, tomorrow, forever.”
“Anything? You will do anything to get back together with me?” she asked, desperate to clarify that she’d heard him right. Her head was reeling at the idea that he cared that much so she pressed one hand against his chest before he could pull her any closer.
Ignoring the barrier of her hand, Noah angled himself forward to smooth a kiss over her bottom lip. Oh, God, she wanted him. She could still feel him in the tingling between her thighs. But she had to make sure they settled everything before they got distracted by sex. Again.
She had to do it for herself.
And for him.
So before he could take the kiss any deeper, Gwen pushed him back a few inches.
“Seriously?” she asked. “You’re saying you’ll do anything I want if it means we get back together?”
“Sure.” He tried to pull her into his arms again but this time Gwen took a step backward.
“What if I want to move across the country? Or if I insist you marry me before we share another orgasm? What if I’m only willing to date you if you’re a civilian, or if I refuse to let there be anything but sex between us?” she threw out, figuring she’d put every crazy option on the table now, while she had the chance.
Because she knew once they kissed—really kissed—again, that she’d give him anything. Everything.
And she’d enjoy every second of it.
“You want me to leave the Navy?” Noah asked, focusing on the only one of her options that meant a damn to him. His stomach jittered.
