Tempting the Light: Legends and Myths Police Squad (L.A.M.P.S. Book 1)

by Bonnie Gill

“True.” She had hoped the curse was only the ranting of a loony old woman, but now she had her doubts. Maybe her grandmother had told her the truth? “So what’s the scoop on the hot new sheriff?”

  “Heck if I know. I’ve never met him.”

  “Well I have. He’s not bad.” Gorgeous but Abby wasn’t looking at the moment. “He might be a good one for you.”

  “I’ll have to check him out.” Pepper glanced at her watch. “Can you watch the booth for the rest of the day? I got a call from the Humane Society. They have some puppies whose time has run out and if I don’t take them, they’ll be euthanized.”

  “They put puppies to sleep?”

  “Sometimes. This is a high kill shelter. I know I can find proper homes for them.” Her smile disappeared. Pepper ran a rescue mission through her store for the animals she saved.

  Abby waved her hands in a shoo gesture. “Yes, of course. Go save the puppies. I can handle this.”

  “Thanks. Oh, the cookies sell for six dollars a box. There are more boxes under the table.” She gathered up her purse and took off down the aisle.

  Watching all the pets walk by lightened Abby’s mood. She giggled when a poodle dressed in a pirate costume jumped onto the table. His owner had wrapped one of his legs to make a peg leg, and he sported a pirate hat and eye patch. She gave him a sample treat and when the pooch gobbled it up, his owner bought three boxes.

  She stretched her arms over her head when a twinge of pain hit her in the abdominal area, like a small knife slicing her insides.

  A cramp.

  The kind of cramp that meant her monthly friend had arrived. Her friend had never been a friend. Well maybe an uninvited guest that always showed up unannounced.

  She asked a lady with a lilac colored bouffant hairdo at the exhibit next door if she could watch the booth and took off toward the bathroom.

  Oh please let there be a tampon machine in there. Periods should schedule appointments so women could plan for them.

  She stopped in front of the doors and pushed open the one with the women’s sign on it. A wisp of green smoke swirled through the opening in front of her. Worse day ever, and now she was hallucinating.

  On the far wall in the bathroom sat a gigantic vending machine, but instead of snacks it held feminine treasures. She pulled a crumpled dollar bill out of her pocket, the machine sucked it in, and she pushed a button. The curly cue distributers twisted, and the box of tampons dropped into the bottom tray.

  Abby pushed on the trapdoor and grabbed the box. A girl in white pants jumping rope was printed on the front of the package. Really? Only someone who had never experienced slasher week at panty camp could have thought that one up. She tore off the cellophane and opened the package.

  A green fog steamed out of the box and a large green man in billowing pants and gold shoes formed, blocking the exit. She scrambled backward, away from him.

  Several noises that didn’t resemble human speech squeaked from her mouth. She ran to the two stalls but both doors were closed. She knocked. No answer. Plastering her back against the furthest wall, she couldn’t breathe. No matter how hard she tried to suck in a breath it wouldn’t hit her lungs.

  How the heck would she get out of here? Could she dart past the huge green guy to the door? He didn’t look like he’d be easy to get past. One thing she was sure of, this guy wasn’t looking for a urinal.

  “Fool. You dare to interrupt my sleep.” The bulky green man’s voice boomed and ricocheted off the ceramic tile walls and blue painted steel stalls. When his forehead crinkled, his black bushy uni-brow shrank down.

  This wasn’t real. He wasn’t real. She was seeing things.

  She searched for a window or another exit. Nope. Not that lucky. Who would design a public restroom without another way out? What if there were a fire? This had to be a dream or something.

  Under her breath she said, “You’re not real. I don’t believe this.” Abby sucked in her stomach and threw back her shoulders. “Look, I just opened a box of tampons. If you don’t leave immediately, I’m going to start screaming. I’ll count to ten. One.” She folded her arms in front of her chest. “Two.” Even though she gathered all her courage to talk, her voice still shook and the number two came out with a gurgle attached.

  “Enough with the human drivel. Silence, before I lose my temper.” He made the zip motion across his lips.

  Who the hell was this guy?

  He pointed to his chest. “I am the green Jinn from Arabia. You dare to order me around?”

  “Ten.” Shit. She covered her mouth.

  His scowl morphed into an evil slippery smile sending a hullabaloo of imaginary termites burrowing up and down Abby’s spine.

  She shouldn’t be scared or back down. She needed to stay strong. Abby didn’t care what country he was from, or what color skin he wore, or if he was a figment of her overactive imagination, he didn’t belong in the women’s bathroom. Then it hit her.

  Jinn meant genie.

  “Wait, you’re a genie? Don’t I get three wishes?” Her brain jumped into fast-forward and formed lists of what she’d ask for—Brad Pitt, a million dollars, maybe different hair?

  All the stories she’d heard involving genies and wishes always ended on a nasty unhappily-ever-after, though. She had to think this through—the last thing she needed today was another shaft. Well, at least the kind a giant green genie might give.

  “I don’t grant wishes, you selfish brat. I’m here to carry out your curse.” His words grew so loud the metal stall doors rattled.

  She had to think of something that would make the world a better place. End world hunger? World peace? Save the wombat? Her attention reverted back to the genie. “Wait. What curse?”

  “The curse placed on your family. Surely you’ve been warned.”

  She swallowed over the lump blocking her throat. “I thought it wasn’t true.”

  “Well then, this is my lucky day.” He flashed another heinous smile. “You will be cursed on the first day of your womanly cycle.”

  “Hey, someone beat you to that one, pal. Why do you think I opened the tampon box?” She would have snorted at her own joke if she hadn’t been petrified to the point that wood would be jealous from the ghastly frown he just shot at her.

  “My name is not Pal, it’s Jinn. As I was saying, before you rudely interrupted, on the first day of your cycle, when the moon appears you’ll change into a beast. I wouldn’t venture out into populated places if I were you.” The right side of his eyebrow rose and he let free a mwa-ha-ha-ha laugh. His pea-soup colored body twirled and curled into vapor before he disappeared through the air vent in the upper wall.

  “Wonderful, I’ve been cursed by the Tampon Genie.” Her jaw clenched and her ribcage felt as if each bone doubled in weight to the point of making it hard to breathe. How could this be happening?

  While walking back to her booth she ran the whole genie scenario through her mind. It must have been a hallucination. There’s no such thing as genies or huge hulk-like green men that curse women while on their period. Maybe someone put a Rufie in her coffee? This whole thing could be a drug-induced trip.

  She pushed the bathroom excursion out of her head and sat back in the cold metal chair at the table. The rest of the afternoon kept her busy, and before she knew it, all the doggie cookies sold out. Eager to leave, she packed up Pepper’s display and pamphlets, happy that no boxes of biscuits remained. She carried everything out in a copy paper box to her parked car.

  Abby sat in the driver’s seat and laid her forehead on the steering wheel. One day she’d recover from Burt’s betrayal and cheating. Burt took advantage of her trust. How could she be so stupid? She should have seen the signs. The late nights on his computer with the door locked. The late nights spent at the office. The late-night phone calls. Urgh. She
didn’t know if she was more hurt or enraged.

  Abby dialed Pepper. “Hey, it’s me.”

  “Howdy. Everything go okay?” Pepper raised her voice over the barking in the background.

  “I sold every box.” She straightened her posture in the car seat and raised her chin.

  “Outstanding. Meet me at the ranch.” The line clicked off.

  Glowing bright, the orange sun blared through the windshield and dipped lower in the horizon. Evening was near.

  Abby finally pulled into Pepper’s long, sprawling driveway. The lowering sun’s rays peaked through the gigantic oak trees swaying overhead lending the property a disco-ball sparkle effect. Two trotting horses in a paddock circled a mocha colored barn, and three dogs played bark-jump-and-roll outside the fence. She parked her car in front of Pepper’s two story Brachiosaurus statue with a wood and canvas hut perched on the back, a life-sized replica of the one used in the Flintstones cartoon.

  “What took y’all so long?” Pepper called out from the porch swing, her feet propped up on a wooden crate.

  Abby got out of her car and looked around to see if there was anyone else near. “Hey y’all is plural. There’s only one of me here.” She loved to tease Pepper. What were friends for?

  Pepper came over to greet her. “How’ya holding up?”

  She lifted one shoulder and put on her best I’m-okay smile.

  “Let’s get your things. You can have the downstairs bedroom.” Pepper’s voice was soft and consoling.

  Abby pulled her blue duffle bag from the trunk and slammed the lid shut.

  “That’s all you brought?”

  “This is it. Oh, I did take his fifty state commemorative quarter collection.” She let out a small laugh, the kind that exhaustion or insanity would induce. Those quarters meant a lot to Burt, but until she was able to retrieve all of her belongings, he wasn’t getting them back.

  “I’m not even gonna ask.” Pepper shook her head, reached over, and grabbed the bag.

  “I had to leave before I caused bodily damage. You know my body is a registered weapon.” She karate chopped the air a couple times.

  “Abby-Miyagi, one year of karate does not make your body a weapon.”

  “I’m a fast learner. I’ll go back when he’s at work and clear out my clothes. The apartment and furnishings are his. Unless . . . You want a toaster or something? I can claim it as a consolation prize.” She followed Pepper into the house and they walked past the old gold couch sitting in the front room before they entered the back bedroom.

  “Nah, I’m good. The puppies are in the barn. They’re so cute. Their mom is in there, too.” Pepper placed Abby’s bag on the queen size bed. Light peach walls and a thick white comforter with pale yellow pillows made the room look warm and snuggly.

  “What puppies?”

  Pepper lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow. “You know the puppies at the shelter that were going to be euthanized. They were the reason why I had to leave early.” She knocked on Abby’s head. “Central command post to Abby. Come in, Abby.” She knocked again.

  “Oh, yeah. Sure. Stop hitting my head.” She dodged Pepper’s last rap. “Something weird happened to me today.”

  “What?”

  “A genie popped out of my tampon box and cursed me.” She still couldn’t believe it was real. There was still the possibility that she had been drugged.

  “You shouldn’t drink while on the job.” Pepper chuckled, tapped her on the shoulder with her fist, and kicked her heel up to the side.

  “I didn’t drink.” Abby crossed her arms and rubbed her biceps while she revealed the events that took place in the bathroom.

  Pepper whistled through her teeth. She watched her for a while and nodded her head impersonating one of those bobble-head dogs that Abby’s mom kept in the back window of her car. “No kidding? But I’ve heard weirder.” Pepper smiled, but the faux smile didn’t cover up the dose of BS she was trying to cram down Abby’s throat.

  “Really? Because I think the PMS genie is pretty strange. What if he was real and he did curse me? What if I really turn into a beast?”

  “Well, we’ll find out soon. The sun is setting.” Pepper took her hand, pulled her out the door and over to the fire pit. She gestured for Abby to sit on one of the folding lawn chairs.

  She didn’t want to sit. Her insides felt like a well-shaken bottle of Italian dressing. A gush of pounding thumped in her chest. Something wasn’t right.

  She ran her hands across her arms where they prickled and stung. Thick coarse brown hair sprouted through her skin. She yowled as her jaw cracked and snapped in a someone-took-a-meat-cleaver-to-her-face sort-of pain. Fever-hot blood rushing through her veins sharpened and cut, dicing through to her tissues, and hacking at her bones. Her organs moved around under her skin. Her skeleton popped and shifted.

  She pushed Pepper toward the house. “Get out of here. Leave now.” Her voice didn’t sound normal, the tone now deep and hollow and demonic. What was happening to her?

  Pepper blinked as if to wipe the scene from her eyes. She made the sign of the cross on her chest while scrambling backward, almost tripping over her feet. She gasped and pivoted, then ran into her house, slamming the door behind her.

  Abby’s face elongated. She glanced down and saw her nose grow long and wide. Her feet formed into cloven hooves, her fingers—talons. No, this wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening. Must stop the pain.

  Focusing on Pepper who stared through the kitchen window, her mouth hanging open, her eyes full moon wide, a small knot of tension released in Abby’s shoulders. Pepper should be safe. For now.

  A raptor’s scream ripped from her throat. A stabbing force plunged through her tortured body.

  The farm, surrounding forest, and cars appeared outlined in an unusual shade of night-vision green. The ground spun, trees whizzed by, her legs trembled. She collapsed on the ground.

  She suddenly wished someone had drugged her. The realization that her grandmother wasn’t crazy and the words of that wicked genie rang true. Abby Fitzgerald was about to live the first night of her family’s legendary curse.

  Chapter 2

  Abby’s eyes shot open.

  Sunshine shimmered off clear Jell-O like sludge covering her body. Leaves, dirt, and twigs stuck in the slimy goo. Where the hell were her clothes?

  With shaking hands, she picked forest foliage from her hair and off her body. She pulled herself up and staggered to grab a tree trunk. Her legs wobbled like an old drunk trying to walk home in a foot of snow after a twelve-hour binge.

  She thought back to the pain. Pain so severe she passed out. Now she stood in the forest naked. And what the heck was this gross Jell-O stuff all over her?

  She gathered her hair and pulled the waves from her face. The tinkling sound of moving water and black birds cawing broke the silence. She tracked the water sound through a few low growing bushes and over a small hill to a stream. One foot at a time, she eased into the icy water. Her semi-shocked state snapped back to the horrifying reality. Shivers ran up her back, climbed her neck, and jumped over her scalp. She washed off all the mucus gel clinging to her body in the gentle flow of the stream, and watched it descend down the river. Tiny cold bumps popped up on her chilled body.

  Flashbacks of her feet turning into hooves and her hands changing into clawed talons slammed into her vision. Her foggy memory relived the nightmare. She had changed into a beast.

  “I’m going to kill that stupid genie.”

  She followed the bank of the river as it wound around to a road, but she stayed far enough away and out of the vision of passing cars. The last thing she needed was to add getting arrested for streaking naked to her list of bad luck. After walking for a while she found a street sign, and some of the tightness in the back of her nec
k relaxed. A half-mile from safety.

  She padded on through the brush, careful of saplings in the forest, and watched where to place her soft bare feet to avoid the sharp branches. She was alone in the forest.

  Naked.

  Cursed.

  Pepper’s barn appeared in the distance like a beaming star on a moonless night guiding her home. Abby wiped the hair from her eyes and took off running, ignoring the pain where the sticks stabbed the bottoms of her tender feet.

  “Glad you’re back.” Pepper’s happy tone indicated that nothing was wrong and she continued to hang towels on the clothesline.

  She wrapped her arms around Pepper for a hug and wouldn’t let go. Overjoyed that Pepper didn’t become a Scooby snack for her monster side, she hugged her tighter.

  “Wow, this is the only time you’ll be allowed to naked-hug me. Are you okay? I’m glad you’re human again. Do you know how hard it is to find a new best friend?” Pepper stepped back and checked Abby’s arms and legs.

  “Yes, which is why I was so worried for you.”

  “I’m fine. Go get dressed. I have a million questions.”

  She skedaddled into her room and pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt. She tucked a tube of lip balm and a box of Tic Tacs in her pocket.

  With her Tic Tacs rattling in her pocket, she bounded out the door and rushed over to Pepper. “What happened last night?” Did she really want to know?

  Pepper bopped up and down with excitement. “It was so cool. Your eyes glowed red, then you changed into a horse with bat wings and a pointy forked tail. You’re a Jersey Devil.”

  “That freaking genie.” She paced around in a circle and kicked a rock. “How come you’re so cheerful? I’m doomed to change into a ferocious beast every time I get my period and you look like you want to throw a party.”