by Tara Randel
“Didn’t you ask me to?”
Bryce held up a hand. “We have company, remember?”
“Of course.” Liz smiled apologetically. “Now that you’re all here, we can eat.” She hurried off in the direction of what Jenna assumed was the kitchen.
“Nothing too fancy,” Bryce told her. “Pot luck. Once we found out Wyatt was coming, Liz got on the phone and asked everyone to bring family favorites. Reminds me of when the boys were younger and we had lots of family gatherings. You’ll enjoy it.”
“I’m sure I will.”
Bryce took off, leaving her with Josh. “Thanks for hanging out with my brother.”
She grinned. “It’s not a hardship. He’s a good guy.”
Josh sobered. “Yeah, he is. Wish he’d remember that.”
Jenna bit her lip at Josh’s concerned expression. Should she interfere or not? “Can I make a suggestion?”
Josh glanced at her. “Go ahead.”
“Have patience. Wyatt is never going to be the same man he once was. He’s still figuring out life after Jamie. At some point he’ll feel more comfortable around your family. Give it time.”
“It’s been two years.”
“And it could take another two years. There’s no time limit on grief.”
“I’ve been afraid he’d lose himself in the grief and we’d never see him again.”
“He’s here today.”
“Thanks to you.”
She held up a hand. “He probably would have come anyway.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Look, it’s easy for him to be around me. I have no history with him. I didn’t know his son. He can be open with me.”
“Makes sense.”
“So, lighten up.” She smiled to take the sting out of her words. “Give him space or you will lose him.”
“Advice taken.” He looked across the room. “Hungry?”
“Starved.”
“Let’s eat.”
Wyatt joined her as she stood in the food line.
“Where have you been?” she asked as he brushed her shoulder.
“Worried?”
“You left me alone with a room full of your relatives. The least you could do is stick by me.”
“You’re great with people.”
“Maybe.” She tilted her head. “Where were you?”
“Out back. I was showing the girls where Josh and I built our tree fort.”
“Sounds interesting.”
“Long story.”
“Wyatt,” she teased, “are you keeping secrets from me?”
“Nothing earth-shattering.”
“But the girls are okay?”
“Fine. My cousin has two kids their age. They’re having fun.”
Just as Bryce said, all the food on the table looked delicious. Jenna tried a little bit of most dishes, but her appetite disappeared when Wyatt took a seat on the couch next to her. When his arm brushed hers, she struggled to suppress her usual telltale reaction to his nearness. But he seemed to relax when he was beside her, even as his family asked how he was, what he’d been up to. Jenna sensed when he’d had enough and she intervened in the conversation, sharing anecdotes about her cooking show and life in LA
Once her plate was empty, she wandered into the kitchen to find Liz bagging up leftover rolls.
“Can I do anything?”
Liz glanced over her shoulder. “No, you’re company. Just relax.”
Jenna glanced around, looking for a task to keep her busy. “I’m not used to sitting so much.”
“I have everything under control.”
“If you’re sure...”
Liz turned, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. “If you must, why not get that decadent dessert of yours ready to serve.”
“That I can do.”
As Jenna attended to the cake, the sound of children’s laughter wafted through the open window from the screened porch. Liz craned her neck to look outside, her lips curved in a smile.
“It’s so nice to hear the sound of children’s voices. I do miss it so much.”
Jenna kept busy, saying nothing.
“It was a horrible time when we lost Jamie. Then Marcie left.” Liz cleared her voice which had turned raspy. “But to have Wyatt withdraw and then leave...”
Jenna laid down the knife she’d been using to cut slices of cake and moved next to Liz. Silence settled between them as they watched Bryce and the twins engaged in conversation.
Liz wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry for getting weepy. Seeing the girls...having Wyatt home. I guess it’s more than I expected.”
“I understand,” Jenna said. “I’m thrilled when I see the girls happy, but I can’t help but miss their mother.”
“Wyatt told me about your loss. I’m so sorry.”
Surprised by Liz’s revelation, she took a moment to reply. “Thank you.”
“I see why Wyatt is drawn to you.”
Jenna laughed. “Mostly it’s because he’s helped me out of one scrape or another.”
Liz leaned against the counter. Shook her head. “No, it’s more than that. You have a very gentle way about you. My son responds to you.”
“I don’t know. He has seen me at my worst.”
“And I imagine you’ve seen him at his worst.” Liz’s eyes grew misty again. “I’m glad he has a friend like you in his life.
“I’m not sure if my son is ready to become involved in a relationship again, but if he were, I’d wager you’re the woman for him.”
“Wyatt isn’t there yet. Besides, I have a family to take care of. My plate is full.”
Liz placed the towel on the counter. “If you say so.”
“I do,” Jenna said with enough fervor to make it clear, subject closed.
“Then let me help you with dessert.”
Liz announced the cake was being served. The gang descended on the buffet table to get a piece. Jenna searched the room for Wyatt, who was suspiciously missing. She went to the living room, but he wasn’t there. She checked the back porch, starting to get worried when she couldn’t locate him. A few minutes later, she found him in the guest bedroom, sitting on a full-sized bed covered with a bright yellow duvet, opening a cardboard box.
His hands stilled on the flaps. He pushed them down. A moment passed before he flipped them up to look inside, stopping when he noticed her in the doorway. Judging by the sorrow in his eyes, Jenna didn’t have to be told that the contents of the box belonged to Jamie.
* * *
WYATT’S BREATHING EVENED out when Jenna came into the room.
“After Jamie died it was too much to keep his things around. I boxed up some of his toys, special clothes, stuff like that. Asked Mom to store them for me.”
“Those are special mementos. You should keep them.”
“Honestly, I’d forgotten, or willingly put them out of my mind, until Mom reminded me.”
Jenna leaned against him to look into the box. The sweet shampoo scent filled his nostrils. He inhaled deeply. Since meeting Jenna, he couldn’t get her scent out of his mind.
“May I?” she asked, her bright gaze meeting his. “I’d love to see what you kept.”
With the small encouragement, Wyatt pulled out a plastic airplane. A smile touched the corners of his lips. “Jamie was fascinated with planes. I promised him we’d go for a ride one day.”
“Did you get a chance to?”
His smile faded. “No.”
He removed a few T-shirts with slogans Jamie liked. A baseball cap and jersey. “Although he was only eight, he loved to go watch the Rays play. He’d dress up in his gear, even if we were watching the game on TV.”
He pulled out a worn, green blanket p
rinted with frogs. Rubbed his thumb against the soft material. “We got this as a baby shower present. There wasn’t a night Jamie didn’t sleep with it tucked under his chin.” He brought the blanket to his nose and inhaled deeply. Sure enough, he could just make out the little boy scent.
“I’ve always thought the sense of smell is the strongest when it comes to memories,” Jenna said. “There’s something powerful about a familiar scent that takes you back to a specific time or place.”
Wyatt lowered the blanket.
Jenna reached across, running her fingers over the fabric. “I had a blanket once.”
“Just once?” he teased.
“Yep. I don’t remember how I got it. I think a friend of my mom’s gave it to me.” Her gaze grew a little distant as she lost herself in the memory. “Anyway, it was the only thing I had when social services took me from my mother. I hung on to that thing like it was a lifeline. One of my foster mothers had to wrestle it away from me so she could wash it.”
“It was a tangible connection to your mother.”
She nodded. “That thing got ratty, but I couldn’t part with it.”
“Do you still have it?”
“No. There was a fire in one of the homes I lived in. We lost most of our belongings, the blanket included.”
“I’m sorry, Jenna.”
She shrugged, but judging by the tightness of her shoulders, she was still affected by the past. “By that time the emotional link was broken. It was pretty clear my mother wasn’t coming for me. I didn’t need the constant reminder.”
He didn’t know what to say. His parents had always been there for him, giving him a safe, stable home. He’d never wanted for anything, until Jamie died. Now, no matter what his parents did, he was never getting his son back.
“Maybe looking through the box was a bad idea.”
“Or maybe it’s time,” Jenna countered.
“I don’t know. Some days I think I’m getting better at handling stuff like this. Other moments I can’t deal.”
“I guess that explains the quiet, broody mood of late.”
“Broody?”
“If the word fits...”
He laughed. “Okay. I guess I deserved that.”
“But I understand since I know how tough this is. Look, Wyatt, you’ll always love Jamie. Nothing will change that, but you didn’t stop living when he died. Do you know why?”
He couldn’t speak around the lump in his throat.
“Because a lot of people love you. Your folks. Your brother. That’s what keeps you alive.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
“Everyone deserves love.”
“But it’s my fault Jamie’s gone.” He clenched his fists together. “If I’d been watching him better, I could have kept him from going overboard.”
“Wyatt, it was an accident.”
“Maybe to everyone else, but deep inside, I know it’s all on me.”
Jenna went quiet for a second. “Do you blame your ex-wife as well?”
Startled, he replied, “No. Why would I?”
“But don’t you see? The same logic applied to you. Neither of you planned for anything to happen. It was a tragic accident.”
Wyatt shook his head.
“The guilt will eat away at you if you let it. Do you remember what you said to me the first time we met? When you saved Bridget from drowning?”
“No.”
“You told me to make sure swimming conditions were better when I brought the girls back to the beach. You said next time, I might not be so lucky.”
“Your point?”
“Things happen in life that we have no control over. We learn to live with the bad situations. You losing Jamie. The girls and I losing Carrie. You can’t control every single moment in every single day, Wyatt. It’s impossible.”
He closed his eyes, picturing Jamie disappear over the edge of the boat, the image as clear as day. Maybe Jenna was right. He couldn’t control every aspect of life. Bad stuff happened and as a result, Jamie was gone.
“You aren’t the first person to say I should accept that it was a terrible accident. My family...friends.” He ran a hand over his chin. “Maybe it’s time to listen.”
“Not only should you listen, you should also forgive yourself.”
Wyatt knew that would take more strength than he had in him. But if he listened to Jenna’s advice, maybe, in time, the guilt would fade.
He shot her a wry glance. “After how I’ve acted, I don’t know why anyone bothers with me.”
“You can’t fight love, Wyatt. It’s too strong.”
She was right. He’d always love Jamie. Nothing, neither time nor grief, would change the deep love he still held for his son. Time wouldn’t make things better, but it would help him accept the unacceptable. Maybe one day the never-ending hurt of missing his son would soften into comforting memories of the short time he’d been fortunate enough to have Jamie. For now, he needed the love of his family.
And Jenna, who had more inner strength than any person he’d ever met. He hadn’t realized just how much he valued her opinion, how much he looked forward to hearing her wisdom when he wanted to hide from the world. She faced life head-on, punches and all, and still kept a smile on her face. Without her support, he’d have never reached the place where he could consider moving on without Jamie. Suddenly, he wanted to see what the future had in store for him.
Not ready to confide his revelation to Jenna yet, he said, “I’ll make sure I let my mom know I appreciate her hanging on to the box.”
“It’s what moms do,” she replied in a cheeky voice.
“So you’re an expert now?” he asked, his voice light.
“No, but I’m getting a better idea of what being a mom means every day.”
Together, they began to replace Jamie’s belongings. Wyatt realized this was a milestone of sorts. “You know, I was dreading being around my family today.”
“Really?” A hint of a grin flirted with the corners of her mouth. “I would never have guessed.”
He appreciated her humor. It went a long way in keeping his mood from deteriorating any further than it had since he started looking through the box. Yet there was one piece of the grief puzzle still niggling him. Since he’d already confided so much to Jenna, he decided to get it out of his system. “When I see Jamie’s things, it reminds me of his laughter. I’m so afraid I’m going to forget what he sounds like.”
Jenna placed her hand over her heart.
“Everyone keeps telling me to get on with living my life, and while in my mind I understand that, in my heart I feel like letting go is being dishonest to Jamie’s memory. Like the act of letting go means another part of my connection to Jamie will be stolen away. I’ve already lost so much, how can I let go of the only thing I have left?”
“There’s nothing wrong with needing a connection to Jamie. Letting go doesn’t mean the memories are lost forever. I’ve learned that while mourning Carrie. I think you’ve finally moved to a place where you want the connection to be positive, even though it’s tough to let go of your grief.”
“Touching Jamie’s things just now and not losing it? A huge hurdle for me. It’s like I’m finally at a better place for the first time since Jamie died.”
Jenna’s smile touched his heart. “Go with your instincts, Wyatt. Only you know what’s best for you.”
His chest grew tight. She was right. His instincts were telling him to ease off the grief. Enjoy life more. “You know, I always thought saying things like, ‘Jamie wouldn’t want you to keep grieving’ or ‘time heals all wounds’ were cruel. I mean, how could anyone know how I was feeling? Time hasn’t healed, but it does soften the blow. I realize that grief is no place to live permanently. Even at his young age, Jamie would
n’t have wanted me to die with him. I guess living my life will bring him honor.”
Jenna squeezed his hand. A tear slipped from her eye and trailed down her cheek. With his free hand he thumbed it away, grateful to have her here with him.
His momentous decision to get plugged back into everyday life might prove tough, but he shook off that fear and said, “So, should we go rescue the girls from my parents?”
Jenna brushed her damp cheek, closing the box as she stood. “Do they need rescuing?”
“Only if you don’t want them smothered with affection.”
“Right, because no one wants that.”
He picked up the box and set it on the dresser. “It’s been a while since my mother’s been able to spoil any kids.”
“Since it’s your parents’ anniversary, shouldn’t we be spoiling them?”
“Trust me, they’re having fun.”
“In that case, I want to hear about this fort connection you and the girls have kept from me.”
“You mean I can’t have any secrets?”
Her expression became serious for a split second then was gone, but he didn’t miss it.
“You’re a man of mystery now?”
“No, but I like sharing a secret with the girls to make you crazy.” He grinned. “A man of mystery is pretty cool, though.”
Jenna rolled her eyes. “Fine. Have your little secret. Just know that once I get the girls home, all I have to do is ask the right questions and they’ll gladly tell all.”
“Then I’ll have to bribe them.”
“This is a new side to you.” Her brows rose. “Should I be concerned?”
He simply smiled.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE FURNITURE FOR the office and the client meeting area arrived on Monday. Jenna used every free minute to set things up. In the office, she positioned the desk, chairs, computer and printer to her liking before arranging the paper products she’d picked up from the local office supply store. Hands on hips, she surveyed her domain.
“Not too shabby.”
She turned to face the client meeting area. “Now this will take a little more finessing.”
She shoved the bulky furniture around, finally centering the love seat and two armchairs, along with a large coffee table between them. Below was a colorful area rug. Humming, she brightened the space further by placing a floral arrangement on the table. Pleased with her work so far, she brought the ladder into the client area and hung sheer curtains over the wide windows, creating a homey, comfortable space to meet with prospective customers.
