by A. E. Radley
Georgina chuckled in disbelief. “Are you trying to get me back with my ex? You’re a terrible date, Sophie.”
“You still love her,” Sophie pressed on. “You can’t stop fighting for love.”
“There’s no point in fighting.” Georgina shook her head.
“You seem happy to fight with Kate,” Sophie pointed out. “Looks like you don’t know how to pick your battles.”
Georgina regarded Sophie for a few moments. Sophie could almost see the cogs turning as she considered what to say.
“I was… jealous.”
“Jealous?” Sophie felt thoroughly confused. “What do you mean?”
Georgina sighed and leaned her head against the window. “I thought that Kate had managed to speak to Jessica… that maybe something was going on between them. That Kate had somehow charmed her and was taking her further away from me.”
“That’s a bit of a leap,” Sophie scoffed with a chuckle.
“Like she’ll do with you,” Georgina added. She stood up straight and faced Sophie, her arms folded.
“M-me?”
“I was jealous because I thought she was taking Jessica away from me, that she would hold Jessica’s heart in the same way she holds yours.”
Sophie paused for a second. Her brain started to catch up to the conversation. Suddenly she was spluttering, “T-that… no, you’re… no—”
“Sophie, I’ve seen how you look at her. And how she looks at you. I spend all day every day analysing fine details. I look at marketing and psychology with a fine-tooth comb. I know expressions, no matter how subtle or veiled. So, I… I asked you out for two reasons. One, because I was genuinely interested in getting to know you. And two, because I knew it would bother Kate. I’m not proud of it, but that’s the truth.”
Sophie didn’t know what to think. Or say. She flopped down into a nearby chair. Words entered and exited her mind in quick succession.
“I’m truly sorry if you feel like I used you,” Georgina said softly. “It wasn’t my intention. As I said, the main reason I asked you out was because I was… am… genuinely interested in getting to know you. Upsetting Kate was just a bonus. But even in the short amount of time that I’ve known you, I can see how you look at her. I can see that I’m a replacement for her—”
Sophie jumped to her feet, horrified that she might have inadvertently hurt Georgina’s feelings. “No, that’s not the case at all! I… I don’t look at Kate that way.”
Georgina stared at her curiously. “You don’t even know, do you?”
“I…” Sophie stared at the floor. Her heart thudded in her chest. It was the same sensation she felt when she was afraid, or when she’d been caught out in a lie.
“Sophie,” Georgina said, “I may be wrong, but I don’t think I am. I see how you look at Kate. Hell, I’ve heard you talk about Kate like she’s a goddess. You said you’d never kissed a woman before, and yet you agreed to a date with me. Apologies for the bluntness, but how much experience with women do you have?”
Sophie barked out a laugh. “None. I just… sometimes wondered. I saw pictures of women and I… I don’t know, I thought they were attractive, but I didn’t know if that was normal. If that was what other women thought. I wondered if I might be bisexual, but I was with Matt. I thought I was going to marry him, so it was irrelevant.” She flopped into the chair again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to use you.”
Georgina kneeled in front of her and took her hand. “I think we used each other a little. No need for apologies. Clearly, my own feelings for Jessica are a long way from being resolved. I don’t think I’d realised that. I was wrong to ask you out so soon after my break-up and yours. I hope you’ll forgive me for that?”
“Of course,” Sophie said. “There’s nothing to forgive, you didn’t make me.”
Georgina squeezed her hand and stood up. “Well, looks like we’re both in quite a pickle.”
Sophie watched as Georgina crossed the room and opened the hotel minibar and started to unload the tiny bottles from it.
“What are we going to do?” Sophie asked.
“I’d like to stay friends,” Georgina said. She poured a drink into one of the room’s glass tumblers.
“Will you call Jessica?” Sophie pressed. “You could do it this weekend when you’re back in New York.” Now she knew how Georgina felt, she wanted to convince her to talk to Jessica. To resolve their issues and get back together.
“Will you tell Kate how you feel?” Georgina returned.
Sophie felt her cheeks flush. “I don’t even know how I feel.”
“And if you did?”
Sophie quickly shook her head. “No… no, I couldn’t.”
Georgina chuckled and sipped her drink.
“What’s funny?” Sophie asked.
“Life,” Georgina replied. “Think about it. I destroyed my relationship because I was convinced that my partner would realise she was dating an old woman. I kept her at home, locked up in a golden tower, afraid that someone would steal her away from me.”
She downed the rest of her drink and quickly replenished it. “And then there’s you, the young woman in this equation. Afraid of your feelings for your own old woman, no offence to Kate intended. We’re on opposite sides of the same equation. Both feeling the same doubts. Inadequacy, that’s not a feeling I’m familiar with.”
“I don’t know if I have feelings for Kate,” Sophie replied.
Georgina pinned her with a glare. “Really? I think you do know. I think, like so many other things, you’re afraid of your feelings. The new Sophie Young may be in the process of being created, but the old Sophie Young is still hanging on tight to all of those fears.”
“That’s not fair,” Sophie defended. She knew Georgina was right, but she didn’t like to hear it.
“If I don’t say it, then you can just keep on ignoring it. You could spend weeks, months, even years, burying it. Because I think that’s what you do, Sophie. I think you are so afraid of being rejected, of being mocked, that you somehow bury all your feelings deep inside you. If you don’t acknowledge them, then you don’t act on them, and if you don’t act on them, then you don’t embarrass yourself or feel the sting of disappointment.”
Sophie stared at Georgina. She couldn’t believe what she was saying. A part of her knew that it was all true, but it still stung to hear it. She did bury things, she always had. People were cruel, they seized upon anything they could to ridicule and hurt others. Sophie had learnt long ago that the best way forward was to fly under the radar. Be bland. Be uninteresting. Or at least appear that way.
“I think you’ve loved Kate for a long time. I think your fascination with her and with Red Door was born out of more than just an interest in marketing,” Georgina suggested. “And I know how Kate looks at you. Remember, I am that older woman with feelings for her young assistant. I know the signs. I know the looks.”
Sophie shook her head. “She doesn’t feel that way about me. Sometimes I think she hates me, the way she speaks to me.”
“She hates herself for seeing you as an object of romantic affection,” Georgina explained. “If she’s anything like me, and it pains me to admit that she is, then she is trying to push you away. Maybe she’s aware of her feelings, or maybe like you, she isn’t. But she is trying to push you away, trying to keep you safe.”
“Safe?” Sophie laughed bitterly. “Safe from what?”
“Safe from being in love with someone twice your age. Safe from a potential sexual harassment case. Safe from wasting your life being with someone society doesn’t think is right for you.”
Sophie had heard enough. Her mind was swimming with questions. Questions she just didn’t have answers to. She needed time to process what Georgina was telling her.
But in the meantime, she wasn’t about to let Georgina off the hook.
“What about you and Jessica?”
“What about us?”
“You love her.”
“I do
, but maybe my kind of love isn’t what’s best for her.” Georgina sat on the sofa, the tumbler between her hands. “I hold on too hard.”
“Maybe you can learn to be gentle?” Sophie suggested.
Georgina shook her head. “I think it’s a little too late for that.”
Sophie sighed. She turned her head to look out of the window. It was still the middle of the afternoon, but she was exhausted. It was as if ten days had passed in the last hour.
Suddenly, everything was changing again. She wasn’t sure she liked the new Sophie Young’s life. It was complicated, unsafe, and scary. Things changed at breakneck speeds. She longed for a calm routine. Or at least a quiet few days to herself, where she could figure out exactly what was happening with her.
Chapter 31
Kate hated weekends. Unless she was working, which wasn’t happening this particular weekend, as she was drunk. After the very public fight with Georgina, she had gone home and ignored the rest of the workday. For the first time in years, she shut off her mobile phone and disconnected from the outside world. She didn’t need reminding about what had happened at the press event, nor did she need to be involved in the clean-up process.
It was Saturday, and the living room clock was creeping towards two in the afternoon. Not that Kate cared one bit. She was still dressed in her clothes from Friday’s presentation. When she returned home, she had sat on the sofa and started to drink. Hours had turned into a whole day, the longest period of time she had ever been out of communication with her office.
She casually wondered if news of the argument with Georgina had gotten back to Yannis. She wondered if the account was already lost. At this point she would rather it was, just to have a clean break. The last few days had been like waiting for an axe to fall. At least if it had finally dropped, she could get on with her life.
She shook her head. She’d broken her own rules. And all over Georgina Masters mouthing off, saying things that she’d heard said about her countless times before. But somehow it hurt more now, hurt more because it was Georgina saying them.
When the tears started to fall, Kate had assumed that the stress and sickness within her had built up to an unmanageable level and she had cracked. Working with Georgina and the Mastery team had been extremely hard; the office politics and sheer logistics were driving her to the brink. She had assumed that the dam on her emotions had finally burst, that the catty comments from Georgina were the final straw. That she’d been pushed over the edge into a blubbering mess.
It sounded perfectly reasonable. Except that Kate knew she wasn’t the kind of person to break under pressure like that. The truth was that she usually thrived on pressure. And during the argument, she had delivered a few beautiful verbal blows back to Georgina. Kate had even smirked when she’d seen Georgina flinch after some of the more scathing remarks hit home.
To an outsider, it may have seemed perfectly reasonable that Kate’s current predicament was caused by stress. But Kate knew that wasn’t the case. It had nothing to do with the words that Georgina had said. It was Georgina herself.
Kate hated Georgina with a passion. A passion that had grown out of all control in the last few days. Once she realised that simple fact, it had become very clear to her why she hated Georgina. The revelation had come in the middle of a sleepless night. Out of nowhere, with the clarity and speed of a bolt of lightning, she realised she was jealous. Jealous of how Georgina really was the woman who had it all. She hated that Georgina had managed to have a successful career and personal life.
Kate’s last long-term relationship was over fifteen years ago. Her marriage was over almost as soon as it had begun, both parties realising that they had made a mistake almost immediately. Since then she had maintained a high emotional wall as a defence against further heartbreak. What followed was a long stream of meaningless dates, many just for show and headlines. Kate had all but resigned herself to the fact that she couldn’t have it all. No one wanted to date someone already married to their work.
And then there was Georgina Masters. Good old predictable Georgina Masters. She’d been in a similar situation to Kate for many years. Media outlets would constantly compare them, women in marketing, feared for their famously fierce personalities, top of their game, single. Neither of them having it all, both satisfied with what they had. Until Georgina stepped out with her twenty-four-year-old assistant and created the media storm of the century.
Kate had been so certain that it was a gimmick, but it soon became clear that either Georgina had suffered a massive midlife crisis and subsequent personality transplant, or she was in love with the young woman.
Kate had watched the media reaction with interest. All the while, she felt more and more isolated at the top of her corporate ladder. She was literally the only CEO in the sector to not have a young, beautiful thing on her arm. And it wasn’t for lack of desire on her part. She knew exactly why: fear.
While she was alone, drunk, and exhausted, she could finally admit to herself that she was in love with Sophie Young. She wasn’t sure when it started, but she was sure that she had somehow become the worst cliché. Falling in love wasn’t something she thought she was capable of. Certainly not in such a small amount of time. But, somehow, Sophie had smashed her way past Kate’s walls. Kate had denied it for as long as she could, but it had become impossible to deny her feelings.
Obviously, she had done everything she could to avoid this. She didn’t want to damage Sophie’s reputation or her career. Being the boss that slept with an assistant was one thing, but being the assistant sleeping with the boss was a whole different matter.
One of the things that had helped her to keep her feelings at bay was the secure fact that Sophie was straight and had a boyfriend. Or so Kate had thought. One lonely night at the office she had briefly fantasised about a relationship with Sophie. She’d wondered about the personality hiding beneath the nervous shell. She wondered about her interests, what kinds of food she liked, what they would talk about. But those thoughts were quickly boxed back up when she remembered that Sophie was straight. And, even if she wasn’t, she most certainly wouldn’t want to be stuck in a relationship with someone twice her age.
Until Sophie had dated Georgina. Apparently simply because Georgina had been brave enough to ask.
Then the agony had set in. Kate had been left to wonder if Sophie could possibly have been interested in her. If things could have been different if she had just had the courage to say something.
Still, it would all be irrelevant soon. Monday would come, and all hell would break loose. Worrying about Sophie was a luxury she no longer had. She now needed to fight for her business life.
By Monday, Kate’s mood had improved. Somewhere during passing out on Saturday and coming to on Sunday, she’d had time to realise that rock bottom wasn’t as bad as she thought. She wasn’t quite ready for the scrapheap yet.
And so, she did what she did best, she fixed things. She smoothed out what she could, glossed over what she couldn’t. Hundreds of telephone calls and emails had her changing the story. She moved things back on track, singlehandedly. The story was back on Atrom and off her.
Of course, there would still be rumours and gossip floating around, but that wasn’t relevant. What was important now was rising above the petty childishness of the last few weeks and getting on with the job at hand.
When she’d arrived that morning, Sophie had offered her a look of pity. Before she could speak, Kate had barked out some instructions that would have the girl running all over London for the next few hours. She’d be able to focus better if Sophie wasn’t around.
She was organising the information she had received from her weekend of phone calls when Georgina appeared in the doorway.
“I’m not ready for round two,” Kate commented, returning her attention to the papers on her desk. “I left my gloves at home.”
“No round two,” Georgina said. “I wanted to talk to you about advertising layouts.”
&n
bsp; Oh, so we’re going to ignore it. Act like it never happened, Kate mused.
She cocked her head to the side to regard the woman who had invited herself into the office.
“I wanted to ask your opinion on an offer that’s come in.” Georgina flipped open the folder she held and started leafing through paperwork.
Kate raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. If Georgina was going to turn over a new leaf, Kate would just enjoy it and not question it.
At that moment, Georgina’s mobile started to ring. She glanced at the screen and shrugged before cancelling the call.
“Sorry about that. As I was saying,” she pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Kate, “I think this might be too good an opportunity to pass up, but the timescales are tight.”
Kate looked over the offer. “It is a good opportunity,” she agreed. “If we can pull together the—”
Georgina’s phone started to ring again.
“You might want to get that,” Kate suggested.
Georgina sighed in irritation but answered the call. No sooner had she answered, her face paled in shock.
“Jessica?” she breathed. She closed her eyes and fell into the visitor chair in front of Kate’s desk.
Kate watched with interest as Georgina’s whole demeanour changed.
“Of course, I would… yes… no, I would never…” Georgina argued softly. “No, Jessica, of course… well, I’m sorry you feel that way… no, that’s just not the case.”
Kate couldn’t help but enjoy the uncomfortable conversation Georgina appeared to be having in front of her. She leaned forward and poured herself a glass of water. She knew that Georgina would leave the office if she wanted privacy. It was Kate’s office after all.
“Well, I might have told Laura, but that doesn’t mean it’s the case. How was I supposed to know? It’s not like you returned any of my calls. And now you’re only calling to accuse me of something I—Jessica? Jessica?”
Georgina looked at the phone and sighed. She lowered it to the desk and stared at it for a moment as if willing it to ring again.
