by Anne Herries
‘Yes, I understand that part of it,’ the earl said. ‘But why could he not have told us that he had you? You said you were ill?’
‘I lay in a fever for some days and then I was weak and unable to rise from my bed. Shulie nursed me and the doctor helped me to recover. When I was well enough to leave my bed, Prince Ranjit told me the truth. I think…’ She hesitated, then, ‘I believe he may have hoped to make me his second wife. Shulie seemed to fear it, but when I told him I was Luke’s betrothed wife he brought me back to you.’
‘Where you should always have been,’ the earl grunted. ‘It was foolish running off the way you did, girl. I shan’t demand that you marry Luke if you’d rather not—but your home is here with me. I need to see your pretty face, Roxanne. If you’re not here, what is there to look forward to in the mornings?’
‘Forgive me,’ she said and reached for his hand once more. ‘I regretted running off as I did and I think I might have returned sooner had the kidnap not happened. I was distressed, but it was foolish of me. I know that Luke does not love me, as I love him—but I did give my word that I would marry him and I should like to live in this house with you, sir.’
‘What about my foolish grandson?’
‘Luke must tell me what he wants,’ Roxanne said and her eyes shone with the tears she was too proud to shed. ‘If he still wants me, I shall marry him.’
‘My grandson is a very mixed-up young man and a part of that is my fault,’ the earl said. ‘I resented him because of his father and I blamed John Clarendon for not loving my daughter.’ He sighed deeply. ‘I pushed them into the marriage and I almost did the same to you and Luke. Please forgive me and stay with me, Roxanne. You are as a granddaughter to me and I hope you will make this your home—whatever you and Luke decide.’
‘I shall be glad…’ Roxanne’s words trailed away as the door opened and Luke entered. The look on his face was so harsh that she caught her breath. ‘Has the prince gone?’
‘That damned fellow,’ Luke said in a haughty tone. ‘He had the effrontery to tell me that he would be happy to wed you if I no longer wished for the connection.’
‘I’m sorry he made you angry,’ Roxanne replied. ‘I believe he had some idea that because we had been childhood friends he would like to make me his second wife.’
‘Insufferable.’ Luke fumed, his eyes glinting with temper. ‘You may think yourself fortunate that you did not have the ruby with you, Roxanne. You might otherwise have been left in a ditch to die.’
‘Luke, that is despicable. You should not talk about him in such a disrespectful manner. I believe the prince honourable in his own way,’ she replied stiffly. ‘I know his father sent him to recover the ruby, but they gave me my father’s fortune even though they might have withheld it had they wished.’
‘Your father bought the ruby in good faith. It was yours by right, Roxanne, and worth twelve thousand pounds if a penny.’
‘I did not want it. Such a jewel could only bring ill fortune to anyone who kept it, knowing its history. The prince will return it to the goddess and perhaps his people will prosper again. They are a superstitious people and the curse may only be in their minds, but with the ruby back in place they may be happier.’
Luke threw her a smouldering look. ‘I was merely thinking of your rights. Since you do not choose to take anything I gave you…’ He glanced at her left hand and saw that she was wearing her emerald ring. ‘You are wearing your ring, yet you left it behind—why the change?’
‘I did not wish the prince to think I had lied to him concerning my situation. I believe that he wished to marry me and I wanted to make it clear that I was not free without hurting his feelings.’
Luke frowned. ‘I shall not keep you to your promise, Roxanne. I can see that you no longer need me. Marry your prince if that is your wish. I have no right to hold you here.’
‘Luke, how could you? You are too cruel.’
‘Luke, do not be a fool,’ the earl said. ‘Roxanne has just come back to us. You should not quarrel with her. Besides, she has decided to stay with me—whatever the pair of you decide between you, Roxanne’s home will be here with me.’
‘How very convenient for you both,’ Luke snapped and turned on his heel, striding from the room without another word.’
Roxanne’s eyes filled with tears. ‘He is angry again. I did not mean to make him angry. What did I say?’
‘He is a pig-headed fool,’ the earl said, making a sound of exasperation. ‘I fear we are too much alike. It is his pride talking, Roxanne. He will apologise to you when he has cooled down and beg you to marry him.’
Roxanne felt the prick of tears and blinked hard. ‘I fear Luke no longer wishes me to be his wife, Grandfather. He never did truly. The engagement was make believe—I would have been his wife only for as long as you lived. Then he would have asked for a separation.’
‘Stuff and nonsense. Luke is in love with you, girl. When you were lost he searched for you constantly. He was like a man possessed. He neither slept nor ate and I think, had you not returned, he would have gone mad with grief. Why should he react so strongly to a rival if he is not in love with you?’
‘You cannot mean it?’ Roxanne stared at him in disbelief. ‘He is so angry. Surely…was he really in distress because I was lost?’
‘I would never lie to you,’ the earl told her and smiled. ‘Go after him, girl. Sort it out between yourselves—but please do not run off again. My heart won’t stand it.’
‘I promise I shan’t leave you again, sir—though I think you a fraud. I am certain you will live many years yet.’
The earl laughed. ‘You may be right, especially if I have good news.’
Roxanne bent and kissed him and then went hurriedly from the room. Where would Luke be? She prayed that he had not gone off to London in a temper.
His grandfather was right to call him a fool. Luke left the house with his pride in tatters and his temper still raging, but he had not gone farther than the rose garden when he realised that he was in the wrong. Why must he always quarrel with the woman he loved? The desolation that had come over him when his search for her had proved in vain was surely enough to tell him that his life would be empty without her. He should have taken her into his arms rather than raging at her, but the interview with Prince Ranjit had not improved his temper, and Roxanne’s defence of her old friends had made him snap at her once more.
Yet his honour would not allow him to force her into a marriage that she might regret. The prince had made it clear that she would be honoured in his country and she had changed since meeting him. Had she rediscovered a lost love? Why did she have that new glow about her? She had always been vibrant and beautiful, but now there was something more—a certainty that had not been there before.
He was a fool and he did not deserve her. No wonder she’d decided that she did not wish to marry him. Why should she? He’d asked her to enter a make-believe engagement, spoken of a convenient arrangement, seduced her and then lost his temper with her. No woman with any pride could accept such treatment. It was not surprising that she’d walked out on him. Now she was back and he had insulted her again. He was a damned fool and he was very much afraid that he’d lost her for ever.
‘Luke, please wait for me.’
Turning, he saw Roxanne walking towards him and his heart took a flying leap. The gown she wore was simply cut, but she looked like a queen, regal and proud. In the sunshine her thick luxuriant hair was touched by fire and she was so beautiful that he felt weak with longing. If he lost her, he would have no reason to live.
‘Roxanne,’ he began hurriedly. ‘I know what I said was unforgivable. I had no right or justification for speaking to you so harshly. You have every right to do exactly as you wish.’
‘Yes, Luke, I do.’ Roxanne raised her head and met his eyes with a cool frank look. ‘I am very fond of Grandfather and I shall not leave him here alone again, though I believe his health is more stable than you may imagine.
It is true that he has bouts of illness that could be his last, but he has a very strong will. For as long as he has something to live for he will fight to live.’
‘What are you saying?’ Luke’s gaze narrowed as he tried to gauge what was in her mind. ‘Are you suggesting that we should go ahead with our marriage to please him?’
‘Perhaps.’ She took a deep breath. ‘When I left this house that day I felt that your harsh behaviour towards me made a marriage between us untenable. However, after my distress eased, I came to realise that I did not wish to leave Grandfather—or you. I believe I should have returned to discuss the matter with you in a sensible manner had I not been kidnapped.’
She seemed so calm, so in control that Luke hesitated, not knowing what to believe. ‘I am not certain what you mean,’ he said. ‘Are you intending to go on as before—or is this to be a genuine marriage?’
‘That is up to you,’ she replied. ‘My own preference is for a true marriage. I wish for children and—I am very fond of you, Luke. I like you when you are not in a temper and I believe we could go on very comfortably together.’
‘You like me when I am not in a temper?’ His hands curled into balls at his sides, tension creeping into his voice. ‘The evening of the ball you said…I thought there might be more to your feelings than mere liking.’ His gaze was intent on her face and he was pleased to see a slight unease dawn in her eyes. She was not truly as calm as she pretended. Roxanne might be a superb actress, but she could not quite shut her feelings out. Making a giant stride towards her, Luke took hold of her, one hand on each of her upper arms, staring down at her fiercely. ‘Supposing I want more than mere liking? Supposing I want passion and love—the kind of love that blazes out of control and takes over your life?’
He felt her tremble and she caught her bottom lip between white teeth. Luke smiled, the despair inside him beginning to give way before a new certainty and hope.
‘Is that what you want from me?’ Roxanne asked, a tremor in her voice now. ‘I thought you did not wish to commit to such feelings? You said you did not believe in romantic love, only passion.’
‘It was my belief that I could never truly love,’ Luke said and smiled. ‘Grandfather speaks the truth when he calls me a fool, Roxanne. Everything I ever wanted was there—mine for the taking—but I did not have the sense to see it. Only when I thought you lost, perhaps dead, did I begin to understand how deep my feelings for you actually were. I love you, Roxanne. Not mildly or with fond affection, but with a passion I hardly know how to control. I find the idea of life without you appalling. I want to see you every day, to wake up and find you beside me in my bed—to know that you are mine and always will be.’
Roxanne held back a sob, her face pale and tense. ‘Luke, I do love you. You must know it. Surely you must have known that night?’
‘I discovered something so sweet in your arms that night,’ he murmured huskily, his arms going about her waist as he pulled her close. ‘Yet I feared it. I fled from you before you woke because I was terrified of letting you discover my vulnerability. I was uncertain whether you truly loved me.’
‘You must have known when I clung to you and held nothing back? Surely you knew then?’
‘Yet you so rarely let your feelings show. You are a clever actress, Roxanne. It might have been an act—and it was not all fear that you did not feel as I did; I was afraid that I would hurt you, destroy you, if I allowed myself to offer you a true marriage. I believed my father shallow and thought I might be as he was, but I misjudged him. He lost the woman he truly loved and married my mother just to have an heir for the earldom. He could never love his wife because his heart was in the grave with his one true love. When I thought you might be dead, I knew just what my father felt, Roxanne. Even had I married for an heir in years to come, I should never have loved another woman. You mean everything to me; if you leave me, I shall have nothing left to give anyone.’
‘Oh, Luke…’ Roxanne’s voice caught and a tear escaped, sliding down her cheek. He wiped it away with his fingertips and then bent to kiss her lips. She gave a little moan and pressed herself against him, melting into him so that he felt as if they were one person, one being. ‘Luke, my dearest. When I recovered my senses I knew all that I had lost and I feared I might never see you again. Shulie believed the prince meant to make me his wife and for a short time I feared he might take me with him whether I wished it or not.’
‘But you admired him. I saw it in your eyes—and there is something different about you…’
‘I know who I am now, Luke. Before I wondered if I might be a thief or worse. I was not sure that I was good enough to be your wife and the mistress of this house.’
‘Grandfather knew you were a lady born. He saw quality—as I did had I the sense to realise it.’
‘Yes, but I did not know. I wanted to be worthy of you, Luke. Now the shadows of the past have gone and I know who and what I am.’
‘The notion of India was more true than you knew?’
‘My father was the prince’s tutor. When my mother died of a fever my father brought me home to live with my aunt and uncle—but her husband was a greedy rogue. When Papa sent me the ruby to keep for him, my aunt saw it and her husband was ready to give me to a man who would have used me for his pleasure and made me work as a whore until I died of some disease. I heard him telling her it was either that or he would kill me himself.’
‘Damn him! If I’d known, I would have killed him myself!’
‘My aunt pleaded with him, but she was frightened of him. I ran away that night. I was afraid he would catch me and I ran and ran for a long time…then I was attacked by a vagrant and after that I became ill and I must have wandered in a daze. I remember now that I told Sofia some of the story when I was ill, just little things about India. I cried for my mother and my ayah.’
‘Why did she not tell you later?’
‘Perhaps because she knew it distressed me to try to remember. She invented the game to try to jog my memory, but it did not work and so she decided that it was best to forget the past. She loved me and wanted to keep me safe. Because she feared for me she tried to keep my past a secret, and that is why no one found me for a long time, even when the prince’s men began to search. When she was ill she told me she was sure I was a lady and that I should sell the ruby and set up with a companion. She hoped I would marry well.’
‘She thought you enamoured of the prince,’ Luke said, a hint of jealousy in his voice.
‘I was but a child when we were friends,’ Roxanne said and smiled at him. ‘Sofia asked me about the prince once, but I could not recall him, though I must have said something to her when I was rambling. When she spoke of him I thought she meant one of her lovers, because when I recovered from the fever I had no memory of anything.’
‘He remembered you. He wanted you.’
‘Then why did he not simply take me? I should have found it difficult to escape had he decided to keep me.’
‘He wanted the ruby more,’ Luke said. ‘He knew that I would never give it up while he had you and that’s why he brought you back to me.’
‘Yes, perhaps, though I believe he understood that I belonged to you. I know he made you angry, but his father was always an honourable man and the prince did what was right in the end.’
‘You may think so, but I cannot excuse the fellow. He had the effrontery to offer to buy you from me,’ Luke said, a grim look on his face. ‘He said that he would pay my price whatever that might be. I told him that you were a pearl beyond price and not for sale.’
‘He tried to buy me from you?’ Roxanne was stunned, incredulous. ‘Is that what made you so angry?’
‘What would you expect? He said that if I was making a marriage of convenience, he would make it worth my while to give you up.’
‘How could he?’ Roxanne felt a surge of anger. ‘He had no right. I am not your property. I am not anyone’s property.’
‘That is the gist of what I told him,
though perhaps not quite in those words,’ Luke said. He hesitated, studying her face and trying to read her mind. ‘Can you forgive me, Roxanne? Will you give me another chance?’
‘Are you asking me to marry you?’
‘Yes, of course.’ Luke suddenly dropped on one knee before her, gazing up at her in earnest. ‘Roxanne, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife? I love you and your agreement will make me the happiest man alive.’
She seemed to hesitate for one instant and Luke’s heart sank; then she smiled and inclined her head.
‘Yes, of course I shall, Luke. Please get up. There was no need to kneel to me. All I want is to know that I am truly wanted and loved. I do not require homage, nor shall I tie you to me. You may live as you wish, visit London as often as you choose. I ask only that you love me and return to me when you are ready.’
‘Unless forced by business, I shall never want to leave you for more than a few hours, my darling.’
Luke was on his feet, drawing her into his arms. He crushed her against him, knowing that she must feel the heat and force of his arousal and he held her pressed into his body. He wanted her to know how fierce was his need and his desire.
‘I wanted you from the first moment we met,’ he said hoarsely. ‘At first I thought to make you my mistress, but…’ His hold tightened as he felt her stiffen, pressing her even closer. ‘For a long time now I’ve known that making you my mistress would not serve. I suspect that even when I first asked you to enter a make-believe marriage, I knew somewhere deep inside me that once I had you I should never wish to let you go.’
