“Stairs. Last door on the left.”
“Thank you.”
I turned, taking two steps at a time. When I reached the top, my pulse was exploding in my chest. The smell of cigarette smoke was thick to the point where it was almost impossible to breathe. I took short breaths as I passed a door labeled A. When I got to B, I didn’t hesitate to knock. Within seconds an all too familiar voice broke through. The emotions that flooded me upon hearing it shook me to the core.
“Who is it?”
“Delivery.”
“Delivery for what?”
Fuck. “Mail.”
“Kind of late for that. Slide it under the door.”
My head lowered while I cursed myself. I knocked again. “Ma’am, can you please open the door?”
“Go away, you’re drunk.”
“I assure you I am not. Please.”
Silence.
“Lydia, please.”
The door cracked open and I didn’t wait to barrel through the chain lock and push myself inside. Wide blue eyes stared at me in shock and she stumbled back, covering her chest, regardless that she was in a black sports bra and boy shorts.
My gaze dropped to her thighs and I couldn’t stop the loud growl that tore through me. From her knees to the edge of the shorts’ material was a mass of cuts. From their width, I knew it had to have been from a razor blade. Some were almost healed while one looked fresh.
“Is that how you’re coping?” I slammed the door shut, advancing and watching Lydia scramble back.
“Jaime. What are you doing here? How did you find me?”
“Answer my question. Is that how you’re coping? Show me your arms”
She threw me a glare. “I don’t cut my arms, not that it’s any of your business if I did.”
“Any of my business? I almost fucking died for you! You are my business.” It took everything I had to remain in place. I wanted to inspect her, myself. Fucking cutting? I hadn’t taken her for a cutter. Nothing in her chart, or even from my memories of watching her, threw any flags to me.
“I didn’t think you’d jump! You weren’t supposed to.”
“But I did and I told you to stay with me. But you didn’t, did you? You ran the first opportunity you got.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks as the back of her legs connected with her full size bed.
“I went back … several times. I checked on your progress.”
Rage burned into my insides and I moved in even closer. “I didn’t want you there for me. I wanted to be there for you.”
“I told you before, I don’t need help.”
“Really?”
My stare moved back to her thighs and her hands shot down to try to cover them.
“I don’t need help. I’m doing better. You can leave here and you never have to worry about me again. I’m going to be fine.”
“You seriously expect me to believe that? Look at you.”
“Suicide was the problem, not my body. I have a job now. I still have some issues, but I’m pulling through. I’m trying to start over. It’s hard, but I’m managing.”
God, I wanted to believe cutting was the worst of it, but I just couldn’t. Over the last two years, I had heard every story in the book, not to mention my own state of mind in the past. The only way I was going to know her was if I had her.
“Let’s say I give you the benefit of the doubt and take your word for it. How do I know you won’t hurt yourself again when I leave? Or tomorrow? Or a week from now? What if it becomes too much and you end up on another cliff, or associated with something just as bad?”
Lydia’s hesitation made it obvious she was searching for a lie. One to reassure me. Little did she know, I had expressions memorized. I knew dishonesty and calculation when I saw it. Not only from my business dealings, but from the number of slaves I had brought back from depths as low as hers. Hell, maybe even lower. I still couldn’t tell how bad off she was.
“What if I promised to call?”
“Not good enough. We both know when someone is set on suicide, they rarely call or reach out for help.”
Slowly, she nodded, moving her hands to wrap around her waist.
“What if I met with you once a week? You can check on me, yourself.”
My head cocked to the side at her willingness, but I still wasn’t fooled.
“No.”
“Jaime.” The irritation was thick as her eyes shot to mine. “Once a week is a good deal. I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want to. I’m trying to work with you here.”
“And I’m saying no. You’ll come back with me. You can stay at my place for a week or two and from there I should be able to decide if you’re alright.”
“I’m twenty-six years old. I don’t need a fucking babysitter. I’m staying here.”
“Then I’m staying with you.”
I kicked off my shoes, shrugging off my suit’s jacket despite Lydia’s wide eyes. She was afraid. Off what, I wasn’t sure.
“You can’t stay here. This is my room. I only have one bed and you’re not sleeping in it.”
“Well I have two bedrooms, but you refused my offer so we’ll just have to manage. Unless you prefer I call social services and report your … condition.”
Lydia’s lip peeled back in her anger. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I care about your wellbeing. Do you really want to find out how far I’m willing to go to save you? I think I’ve already jumped off a cliff to spare your life. Dialing a number will be a piece of cake.” At her pause, I shrugged. “Your decision—my place or yours?”
“I’m not sleeping with you.” Her mouth set in a tight line. “In a bed.”
A smile tugged at my lips and I didn’t have to say a word to get her all ruffled.
“Or anywhere, Jaime. I’m… Fuck you.”
“Hey, you’re doing the talking here. I’m just waiting for your answer.”
“I get my own room?”
“Yes. And it comes with silence. Maybe you’ll actually get a good nights’ sleep. The circles under your eyes are horrible. You look like shit.”
Lydia cast me an angry glance, but she leaned over, jerking a pair of pants from a small chair along the wall. I didn’t goad her anymore while she got dressed. When she began getting what looked to be work clothes from her closet, I didn’t tell her it was pointless. All I did was put back on my shoes and jacket as I waited.
She wasn’t going anywhere. The next four weeks of her life would consist of whatever I made of it. If she was suicidal, I would find out. And then we would begin.
Chapter 6
Lydia
Hadn’t I feared this would happen? Hadn’t instinct told me it was Jaime at the door?
Dammit. I hadn’t wanted to believe it. Even now as we were driving toward his apartment, I couldn’t grasp we were actually so close to one another. This wasn’t good. The man messed with my mind. He made me think about things I shouldn’t. Like, who he was when he wasn’t trying to save me, or why every time I took in his broad shoulders and thin waist my body reacted. Or … why I was internally relieved with him close by.
The light turned green and he made a left, causing me to pause in my thoughts. His place was straight ahead and he was taking us toward the freeway.
“Where are we going?”
His hand rose and I swallowed past the lump forming in my throat. Jaime pushed at buttons on his fancy screen and within seconds ringing filled the interior.
“Jaime?” I whispered.
“Hold on, Lydia.”
A familiar voice broke through and I almost let out a cry as I knew something wasn’t right.
“Well?”
“I’m headed to the mansion,” Jaime said, looking over at me. “Lydia is going to stay with me for a while.”
“Mansion?” My head was already shaking as he sped up and merged into traffic.
“And how is she taking this? Lydia, do you want to talk with me?”
“What
the hell is going on? I thought…” I gave Jaime a look, almost a plea to help with the panic that was rising inside of me. “What happened to your place?”
“The mansion is my place, Lydia. The penthouse was just my temporary home. I was only staying there until I healed.”
“Lydia? This is Diane.” I closed my eyes, placing my hand on my forehead to try to stop the spinning. It was her, the woman from the café. If it wasn’t for Jaime’s safety, I would have flipped the fuck out and maybe even attempted to wreck the damn car to get away. Yet here I was, being a semi-willing victim while he carted me away to some mansion. What was I doing? I couldn’t let him take me somewhere unfamiliar. What had I been thinking? I was starting to feel trapped.
“I’m here, Diane.” My voice cracked and my adrenaline soared.
“I know you’re afraid right now. We’re strangers and now some man you hardly know is taking you somewhere you’ve never been before, but I promise you everything will be okay. Jaime will take good care of you. You have to know that.”
Would he? A part of me said he would. He had jumped off a cliff to save my life. There was good in him. But was there bad? Just because someone played the hero didn’t mean they couldn’t be the villain. Some of the best villains were masked by nobility and charm. They’d die to be your savior, but only if it benefited them in the end.
“What’s happening? Why do I have to go anywhere?
The woman hesitated and again her voice came through. “I used to be in a bad spot. I lost my husband and daughter to a drunk driver. My life became meaningless. I was on a path that led me to the same place you are now. Sevastian helped me. Jaime wants to help you. I know the last thing you probably want right now is to talk about this. And maybe you don’t feel as though you need anyone’s help, but I ask that you please give him a chance.
I opened my eyes, trying to stop the anger at not quite understanding. “Give him a chance at what, exactly? I’m fine. I haven’t attempted—” My mouth slammed shut and the wildness inside grew. The city was quickly disappearing in the distance and with it, my desperation to escape grew.
“Diane, can do you do me a favor and put Sevastian on the phone?”
Jaime kept watching me. His voice was smooth, like a liquid caress over my skin. The way his eyes traveled over me, it was almost like he knew how to change his tone to make me calm. These people, the man and the woman, put him in the role of a protector. My body somehow responded to that, but my mind was trying to convince me he was the enemy.
“I’m here, Jaime.”
“I have a meeting tomorrow morning at nine. Forpse Corp is ready to deal.”
“I’ll take care of it. Wilma can contact them first thing and inform them that their meeting is with me instead. They’ll like that.”
“I have them stuck at eight percent, don’t give them more. Not one percent, Sevastian.”
A laugh exploded through the speakers. “Eight, it is. What have you heard on Paxem?”
“Fifteen interests them. They’re not ready to drop yet. They’re not that desperate. Give it a few more months. I don’t think I can get them down to eight, but I might be able to squeeze in nine and a half.”
“Amazing.”
Jaime smiled ahead while I stared at him, baffled. He was conducting business, now? As if we weren’t driving into the middle of nowhere or he didn’t have some suicidal loon sitting next to him? Did he think me so compliant with this situation? Was I so easily readable? He didn’t know who I was. Or … maybe he was trying to get my mind off of what was happening and try to calm me? Confuse me?
“Take me back to the city.”
Uncontrollably, my hand came up to grip the edge of the door. I held tight, not breaking my stare from his face. Sevastian got quiet and the grin melted from Jaime’s face.
“Sevastian, let me call you back.” Jaime ended the conversation before the other man could say another word. He glanced at me, but went back to looking at the empty stretch of road in front of us. It was so dark out here. So desolate. There wasn’t a house in sight anymore. “We can’t go back to the city, Lydia. Not yet.”
“How long? I want an exact date before I agree to anything more. You tricked me. You made it seem like we were going to your apartment. I am not okay with this.”
“I can’t give you a date.”
“Sure you can. Tomorrow. A few days from now? Friday? Next Wednesday? When?”
The car slowed as he pulled onto the shoulder and put it in park. When he turned his full attention to me, I couldn’t stop from swallowing hard at the size of his broad shoulders. I suddenly felt so small. That didn’t sit right with the growing need to flee. To say he didn’t remind me of a predator was becoming a bigger lie by the second. He was looking at me differently. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he wanted eat me alive.
My hand shot up to the handle and I jerked, slamming my shoulder into the door.
Nothing.
My fingers fumbled as I searched for something to unlock, but there wasn’t anything to pull up. I really was trapped.
“Let me out. I want to get out.”
I unbuckled and threw my weight into the door again. Full blown panic was making me shake convulsively. I was suddenly all over the place, turning to scan the back seat, trying to figure a way around Jaime so I could get to the unlock button, or even out of his door. The moment my hand reached over him, he was on me. The tight grip on my wrist was crushing. I screamed, fighting as best I could as he pinned me with his weight. The ease and speed at which he got both of my wrists secured into one of his left me terror-struck. Before I could so much as scream, he was shuffling with something by my feet and clicking it closed. Pain exploded around my ankle and metal tore into my skin at my attempt to kick free.
“No! Let me go!”
Thrashing got me nowhere. Jaime was digging in the glove compartment and I knew what for. He was going to secure me even more. With the grip he had of my hands, it was obvious they were next. He was kidnapping me, plain and simple, and I was the idiot who had gotten in his car. My guilt made me trust a complete stranger despite paying more attention to why he’d found me to begin with.
“You can’t do this. I don’t want to go!”
“Too bad. Your life, your choices on how you live it, doesn’t exist anymore. You’re dead, baby, just like you wanted. I make the rules. From here on out, I’m your Master. This can be heaven or hell. The outcome will depend on you.”
My blood turned cold at his words. “You can’t do this.” I repeated.
Rope began to bind my wrists together.
“I believe I already have.” Jaime secured me and took the remaining length toward my feet, tying it to whatever held the cuffs under the seat. I gave a hard jerk as he moved back, but there was no use. It was too tight to move more than a few inches.
“What do you mean, you’re my master? What is this? What are you going to do to me?”
“Your questions will be answered soon enough. First, I’m going to call Sevastian back and you’re going to sit there and be quiet.”
He was already reaching for the screen as he pulled back on the road. I let out a loud sound that vibrated my throat. Suddenly, survival and escape were all I cared about. I tried twisting my body as the rope and cuffs dug into my skin. I cared not for the pain. I couldn’t let him do this. There was no telling what sick and twisted things he had in store for me. What if he hurt me? Raped, or beat me? Killed me? Jesus, I shouldn’t care, but I did. My choice to die was my own. Nobody else’s.
“If you don’t calm down, you’re going to force me to do something you won’t like. I didn’t want it to be like this. I told you, what happens is up to you.”
Ringing of the phone was quickly answered while I continued to struggle against my restraints.
“Is it all good?”
Jaime threw me a glare, letting his gaze drop to my hands before he turned back to the road. “Yeah. I can’t talk long. I’m about to pop her a relaxer
if she doesn’t calm down.”
The warning had me going rigid. I didn’t take medication. Not even pain relievers. I’d endure the suffering before I shoved another pill down my throat. Maybe it was ridiculous, but until your body craved nothing but the taste or the texture of a pill sliding over your tongue, it was impossible to understand. Just thinking about it made the withdrawal return. And it would never go away, no matter how many years passed. That was the thing about drugs. They enslaved you for life. Even if you did break free of their hold, you never escaped the pull.
“Call me in the morning.”
“Will do.”
Jaime pushed the button on the screen and stared ahead. His face was hard and he was flexing his jaw, repeatedly. It scared me. He was capable of things I couldn’t even imagine and I was terrified to find out what they were.
“Don’t like pills, huh?”
I kept quiet.
“You obeyed real fast. Is it the effects of the relaxers you don’t like, the lack of control you feel under them, or are you afraid of something else?”
Still, I didn’t speak. Jaime would never understand. Not about the pills and definitely not about what I did to cope. I’d seen his face when he saw my legs. He had been beyond shocked. Maybe even disgusted? No, he wouldn’t understand. Sanity had become lovingly embracing death, or kissing razorblades. There was no in-between. To bleed was to breathe. Sometimes that’s all one could do to survive another day.
Minutes passed and further into the darkness we went. There was nothing. No lights, no homes. When I stole a glance at my captor, he was already looking at me.
“You were an addict. Of what?”
Nausea nearly had me gagging. How did he know?
“Lydia, you can talk to me, or I can discover the truth, myself. I will find out. You might as well just tell me now.”
“How did you find me?”
The question had Jaime facing the front again. “I had a slave. Her name was Wynona. Sound familiar?”
The name didn’t ring a bell, but the term sure as hell hit something in me. “No. A slave?”
“That’s right. Just like you are now.” He glanced over. “You don’t remember Wynona? You were both at the same safe house. She was in the room next to yours. She saw something no one else did. She knew you were close.”
Insufferable: A Dark Erotic Romance Page 4
