Lydia’s hands shot out, gripping to the arms of the chair as the top of her body leaned forward. “Do you know what’s not easy? Marrying a man who lies about who he is. One who literally shoves his addiction down your throat just so he doesn’t have to bear it alone. That is not easy.”
“You weren’t supposed to get so caught up in it. I never meant for that to happen. Okay, I was wrong dragging you into it with me. I admit that. But it didn’t play out in my head like I thought it would. I wanted us to have fun. I never expected you to pop every day. I didn’t, but then you needed more, so I gave it. I gave and I gave and all the while, I just wanted you to be happy with me. Now that I look back, I see the truth. How could you be happy with someone who wasn’t happy with himself?
“I hated my secrets. I hated who I’d become. And you’re right, Liddy, I took you down with me. Do you not think I know that? I fucking nearly died when you left me. I saw how bad you were before you left and it was all because of me. I drank, I popped those pills like they’d never run out. I lost the only woman I ever loved and I destroyed her. What that did to me can never be erased. No amount of booze, drugs, or therapy can fix the guilt I carry. Trust me, I’ve tried them all. I’ll die knowing what I did. And I’m sorry. I truly am.”
A shuttering exhale left Lydia and her hand rose to her mouth. “Apology accepted. I have to ask though, and for once, I’d like you to be completely honest with me. Have you stopped?”
“Liddy.”
“I didn’t think so,” she breathed out. “Do you have any plans to try to get help?”
“I go to meetings, sometimes. I want to get better.” He blinked back tears. “I just want my life the way it was when we first met. Do you remember how happy we were? I had it all—love, money, a wife who was beautiful and adored me. You made me feel like I was the most important person alive. How could I ruin that? What was I thinking? I did such horrible things.”
“Yes, you did. But that’s what the drugs do. They change you. They changed me. I was lucky to stop when I did.”
He nodded, wiping away the tear that escaped. “So you’re clean, then? For a while, I take it?”
“Since I left you. It wasn’t the drugs that got me here, Phillip, it was my depression. I battled it long before you. Drugs or not, it would have eventually destroyed us anyway.”
“But you’re better now?”
“I’m better than I’ve ever been, and I owe it all to my Masters. I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for them. They helped me.”
I squeezed Lydia’s shoulder, grinning down at her as she glanced back.
“I can see that. You look amazing. The darker hair is different, but it looks good on you.”
“Thanks. It’s just temporary, though. I’m actually going back to blonde when I leave here. I’m tired of running from who I am.”
Lydia eased from the chair and Phillip followed. The uneasiness on her face as she looked between him and me only told me one thing—but I was already thinking the same. I put her at ease with a nod, lowering my face closer to hers as I whispered. “You don’t even need to ask.”
“Thank you, Master.”
“What do you say we get out of here and meet Diane for some lunch? Then we can take you to your new place.”
“I’d love that.”
“Great. Randle’s by the car, waiting. Why don’t you tell him to go ahead and come inside? You can wait out there for me. This may take a few a minutes. Phillip and I need to talk.”
“Wait.” Phillip’s hand rose toward Lydia as he took a few steps. “Will I see you again?”
“No.” she said, shaking her head. “Good luck, Phillip.”
The sadness faded from his face as his attention left her and came to me. I didn’t trigger his emotions by reacting to them. I calmly stood there, waiting for Lydia to exit the house before I took a step toward him.
“I have a gift for you, Phillip. You see, we don’t usually help someone with your condition unless it’s to the point that they are no longer able to help themselves, but for Lydia, I’m willing to make an exception. The problems you face can be fixed. You can have your old life back, minus your ex-wife. That’s not in either of your best interests. What I offer instead is a fresh start. A new path from the one you lead now. I want to help you get better.”
The door sounded behind me, drawing his attention. His, but not mine. I kept him in my sights, watching his every move. Little did he know, he didn’t have a choice in the matter. I was trying to give him the chance to choose to better himself, but not everyone wanted help. He wasn’t the exception. I knew by the wall of addiction that rose inside of him, turning his features defensive.
“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll pass.”
“It’s a good opportunity for a man with your determination. I’ve looked into your past. You’re smart. Talented. I know you were once very successful with your construction company. I have companies, too. You can have all that again if you say yes to my offer.”
Phillip looked between me and Randle. His unease grew as the man behind me came up to my side. My newest Master-in-training was built like a tank—wide, tall. But where he was frightening to some, he had passionate depth. He truly cared what happened to people, and he was willing to do whatever it took to make sure they were okay. After all, he’d been through this before when he was the slave.
“Let me think about it.”
“There is no thinking about this. You either want help or you don’t.”
Two steps forward and Phillip stopped, at Randle countering his movement.
“I have affairs I need to get in order. Things I have to do.”
“We’d be happy to take care of them for you. Why don’t you follow Master Randle? He’ll be happy to show you a room while you await transport.”
“Transport? Fuck this.”
Phillip stomped toward the door trying to push past Randle. One look at me and he jerked to a stop.
“Have you all lost your damn mind? What are you going to do, shoot me?”
I shrugged, pulling back the hammer of the gun. “You’re just about dead anyway. Do you think it really matters? I offer you help, you deny it. Perhaps it’s better I put you out of your misery now and save the depressing years you have left from your addiction.”
“Listen, I don’t want any problems. If you just let me leave, I won’t say a word. I’ll clean up. I’ll—”
“Not be leaving,” I said, cutting him off. “At least not yet. You’re going to a special rehab center. Start walking.”
I kept the gun trained on Phillip, pointing him up the stairs and into a room down the hall. When Randle had him secured to the bed, I put the gun back in my pocket, leading Jaime’s apprentice into the hall.
“Here, lock his door. The keys are yours for the next few hours. I want you to spend the rest of the day playing him the videos of death by addiction. No dinner. If he gets hungry, bring him some bread and water. Be sure to remove the glass, even if he is cuffed. Bathroom is off limits until Jaime arrives to take him to the rehab. If he has to go, you know what to do.”
“Got it, Master.”
“Good. We’re out of here. If you have any problems, call Jaime first. He’s doing some paperwork at the office, but deadlines aren’t until a few weeks. Me, I’m off to spend time with Diane before our wedding. Take care, Randle.”
I gave him a pat on the shoulder and headed downstairs. Lydia was in the car waiting for me when I finally set the alarm to the house and opened the door.
“How is he? Did he fight? I only meant if you knew anyone to help him. I didn’t expect for this to be the answer.”
“It’s not. He won’t be staying, but he will get help from one of my friends. In his condition, there’s no choice. It’s the only way. It’s only a matter of time before he ends up here or the morgue anyway. I’m doing him a favor by forcing him to rehab.”
The seatbelt clicked and I threw the car in drive, heading out of the ga
te. Although excitement to see Diane was taking over, I knew breaking the news to Jaime about the transport wasn’t going to go over very well. Ex-husband facing new, over-protective want-to-be husband. I almost wished I could watch.
Chapter 32
Jaime
“Mr. Livingston? You have a call on line one. It’s Mr. Tyler.”
“Sevastian?” It took a few seconds for clarity to dawn. Annoyance set in at remembering I turned off my phone. All I had wanted was peace and quiet. It was interruption after interruption. How long had I been going over these papers now?
I looked at my watch, shaking my head through the surprise.
“Fuck.” My hand latched around the receiver, angrily pulling it to me. “Sorry, boss. Rough day. Nothing’s wrong, is there?”
“Maybe.” A deep breath sounded over the phone and I slowly stood trying to prepare myself for the worst. My heart was pounding and uneasiness was racing wildly through me.
“Lydia. Tell me she’s okay.”
“Better than okay. She’s not why I’m calling. I have a job for you. You’re not going to like it.”
“A job? Where’s Lydia? I hear traffic in the distance. You’re not at the mansion.”
“She’s at her new apartment. She was ready.”
“But … I thought I was going to find one for her? You never told me you were taking care of it.”
“After what happened last time I left you in charge of her? It’s not going to happen, Jaime. You know I love you like a brother, but I can’t trust you knowing where she lives yet. And if you want to be honest with yourself, you know I’m right.”
I sat back down, remembering how much of a mess I was when Sevastian arrived at the mansion. “You’re probably right. Although, we both know if I really wanted to find her it wouldn’t be too hard.”
“Don’t. Leave her alone. This is the most crucial point in her journey. She has to do it alone.”
“I know.” I turned, kicking my legs up on the desk. “Tell me about this job. You said I wouldn’t like it.”
An all too familiar chuckle left Sevastian. It was enough to have my legs dropping back down and me sitting up straighter.
“I know that laugh. Is it a new slave? A kid? Teen? Elderly?”
“Not a slave, just a transport. Try Phillip Mills, Lydia’s ex-husband.”
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not. He’s not suicidal, but he needs help. Lydia wanted me to find someone for him. I did.”
“And you want me to transport him over? No way. No fucking way, Sevastian. I’ll kill that bastard if I see him, you know that.”
“You won’t. You’ll gag him, tie him up, and ignore his groans until you get there.”
Heat poured from my body as my anger continued to rise. It was one thing to know about the man who had lied and turned the woman I loved into a drug addict, it was entirely another to meet him. To come eye to eye with the motherfucker.
“Where is he going?”
“Palm Falls. Dr. Finley is waiting for you. She’ll take care of it and make sure he doesn’t go off squealing to the cops.”
“Got it. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“I’ll be waiting. Talk to you soon.”
I hung up the phone, reaching into my pocket to take out mine. Alerts began going off the moment I turned it on. I hit the message button, clicking on the unfamiliar number that rested at the top.
Jaime, it’s Lydia. Ms Jo was kind enough to give me your number, but you probably shouldn’t tell Sevastian that. He doesn’t want me talking to you. Let me know when you’re back in town. Take care.
A smile stretched across my face at how quickly she reached out to me, but with it, guilt. I bit my bottom lip, texting her back.
I’ll be here only long enough for wedding. I paused, contemplating how much more to write. I was playing with fire, responding, but I could right this. I could be stronger than my temptations. My plane leaves shortly afterward. I’m afraid I won’t be available for another few weeks, maybe months, to help you.
I hit send, grabbing my keys. My secretary’s head rose and she stood, scrambling to gather the messages as I headed over. “How’s it looking?”
“Mr. Patterson called twice. He said it’s important you call him back.”
“No. Tell him Christy has it handled, she’ll contact him shortly. What else?”
“Angel from Barrister called. Mr. Hill wants to meet with you soon to go over contracts.”
The alert sounded from my phone. “See how next Thursday works for him.” I pulled up the messages, scanning over Lydia’s response.
“A Dr. Owen also called. He wants you to call him back at your earliest convenience. I have his number—”
“I have it,” I said, waving away the paper she tried to hand me. “I won’t be in until after Mr. Tyler’s wedding. Report anything to Christy. If she’s unsure what to do, she knows to call me.”
“I’ll do that, thank you. Have a great week, Mr. Livingston.”
“You too.”
I already had my phone up, going back to Lydia’s text as I headed for the elevator.
I can’t make the ceremony, but if I get done early enough maybe I’ll see you at the reception. Take care, Jaime.
When she got done? Doing what? Hadn’t Sevastian said she’d picked school? She couldn’t be working. Besides, she’d only just been released. There was no way she found a job that soon.
I hit the button to the elevator, twisting my mouth through the questions.
Did you find a job? I quickly deleted the words. I had to be as uniformed as I could. The less I knew, the better. Hope to see you there.
If that wasn’t the understatement of the year. I clutched to my phone hoping for something more, but an alert never came. As I got in my car and headed out to the freeway, I fought the urge to keep the conversation going. How did Sevastian do it? How did he break away from Diane without caving into his needs? For love, yes, I could see that, but it was so hard. I couldn’t stand the weakness I felt when it came to Lydia. I should have been able to break away—to be the right Master to my slave. I just had to do this.
I picked up the phone, going back into my messages. With hesitation, I deleted the number. There. I wouldn’t be able to write her back. Temptation was not going to win. But if she texted me again…
My thoughts drifted to her restrained to the cross. The redness, the welts. They tortured my mind, feeding the sadist inside me. She’d need me again, and fuck if I could ignore that. At least it wouldn’t be me running to her. Not anymore.
The city lights faded and miles upon miles of dark night embraced my car. The light from my headlights broke into the pitch black and just like my desolate surroundings, my fantasies enclosed around me. What was a few months compared to a life of having Lydia? Of making her mine and doing the things I’d only dreamed about?
I licked my lips, shifting as my hard cock pushed against my restraining slacks. So clearly, I could see her mouth separated, moaning while I connected against her stomach with my flogger. Going harder—striking with such force that she sobbed and yet moaned for more. And I’d give it to her. She’d be bruised and like putty in my hands by the time I finished. And I’d do what every good Master did. I’d kiss her wounds and show her just how much she meant to me.
Chapter 33
Lydia
Sugar, oatmeal, chocolate chip… If I ate one more of these cookies I was going to go into a sugar coma I would never recover from. And it wasn’t as if Ms Jo was doing me any favors to get me to stop. She kept handing them over—taste this one, try that one. Between her and my own lack of self-control, we’d be lucky if there was any to deliver to the retirement home.
It wasn’t as if I could help it, though. We were laughing and having such a great time that we were both eating away as we waited between batches. Ms Jo was like no one I had ever met before. She spoke her mind, which I liked, and she had a sense of humor that one rarely came across. Eve
rything was positive, even when she felt the need to put in her opinion. I liked it. It was refreshing to the closed off person I had become over the last few years.
“So what do you plan to do while you go to school? Will you work?”
I swallowed the last bite of chocolate chip and shook my head slowly. “I wanted to, but that’s not part of my agreement with Mr. Tyler. Since he’s helping me, he’d like me to stay focused on my studies.”
“Which will be …? I could have sworn you told me.”
I laughed, taking a drink of water. “Psychology. I want to be a therapist. I have an Associate’s Degree, but I still have a long way to go. I can’t imagine not working that long, but I gave my word to give it my all and I intend to do just that.”
“You’ll do well. You’re a smart girl. I knew that from the moment I met you. You’re quiet, but sharp. The two best things a person could be, if you ask me. It’s probably why Sevastian believes in you. Some people you can just read, you know?”
I smiled, going to reach for another cookie, but stopping myself short.
“Thank you. How long have you known Mr. Tyler and Mr. Livingston?
Ms Jo tucked a lock of short hair behind her ear while her eyebrows drew together.
“I’ve known Sevastian a few years now. I knew him before he was married to his first wife. I always wondered why a man would have a huge home way out here in the middle of nowhere. It wasn’t shortly after that he got married, so it all made sense. He was different then. Nice, but there was a hardness to him. It lifted some when he found out he was going to be a father. He began to change. To become happier and venture into town more. But then … poor man. It broke my heart seeing him lose his sweet wife and child. Years passed before I saw him again.” She paused. “It’s Jaime I’ve always dealt with when these arrangements have been made. He’s handsome, don’t you think?”
When one of her eyebrows rose, I couldn’t hide my blush.
“Oh, come now. I’ve heard how he talks about you. You mean something to him. How’s that going for the two of you?”
“We’re not, I mean, there’s nothing between us. He’s focused on his career right now, and I have school so—”
Insufferable: A Dark Erotic Romance Page 21
