by Dawn Ryder
“Some women would have done that for my fame…to kiss my ass and get me to open my wallet…”
He locked gazes with her. “You called it right. I strip down in this room because I’m trying to shed that creature. I’m trying to get back in touch with who I am because I’m lonely and I believed fame would solve that problem for me.”
“Fame has its advantages,” she said. “It is more comfortable to cry in the seat of a Jaguar than on a city bus.”
He snorted at her and flopped onto his back. She enjoyed the sound of his amusement, realizing it was a privilege to be around when he had his defenses down. He opened his eyes and looked at her.
“You see me because we’re a lot alike.” He crooked his finger at her. “Come here. We’ve never cuddled.”
She felt her cheeks heat and ducked her head. He made a soft sound in the back of his throat before curling up and capturing her.
“You blush a lot,” he groused as he took her back down with him, somehow managing to drag a sheet and blanket over them.
“You make me blush a lot,” she answered as he curled around behind her, his legs tangling with hers.
“I like the sound of that,” he whispered against her hair.
“Well…you don’t have the right to be so exclusive.” Her wounded emotions had decided to surface. “Not when I leave you alone for five measly minutes and find you lying across a bunch of pillows like some sultan preparing to enjoy his harem.”
“I still want to be exclusive.” He tightened his arm around her when she started to wiggle. “I want you to be all mine, no exceptions. Just…mine.”
His voice was muffled by her hair, but she heard the need in it. She shook, feeling that need herself. She pressed back against him, even though they were already locked together. She felt him quiver in response, a kiss pressing against her temple before she let herself believe the moment was real. Sleep claimed her shortly after she stopped worrying about everything, taking her away while Ramsey held her.
Epic.
Just epic.
* * *
The shower was running when she woke up. Jewel rubbed her eyes and tried to decide if they’d left it running the night before. California-drought guilt helped her wake up fast and remember Ramsey turning it off.
Not that she escaped drought guilt completely. They’d played around in that shower for a good long time while the water was running. Even out of the state, she felt a pinch of guilt for having squandered natural resources.
Ramsey was warming up his vocal cords in the shower. Jewel kicked her way free of the tangled bedding and went looking for the other bathroom. Her bag was lying on the floor, her new phone chirping with a message. She pressed her thumb against the screen to unlock it, marveling at the upgraded security.
Not that it seemed to keep Ramsey from tracking her.
“Don’t like it?”
She jumped, earning a chuckle from Ramsey. He was standing in the doorway, toweling himself. He was insanely attractive in nothing but skin and ink. She indulged herself in a long consideration of his lean form and the way the dragon wrapped around his hip line.
“It looks like I can do the additions,” she said.
“No hurry,” he cut her off. “We’ve got a show tonight, and tomorrow Sammy wants us to come by and cut a demo of the new song. Since Rage is gone, you can fly with us to Milwaukee. Sammy extended an invitation.”
“He did?” Jewel asked skeptically.
Ramsey grinned. “I might have mentioned how happy it would make me.”
“I see.” She hadn’t found any of her clothing yet, but stood up and refused to cringe. His eyes closed to slits, his gaze roaming over her as his features tightened in a manner that was becoming familiar. He liked what he saw, she knew it from the way his lips thinned and his eyes narrowed. It was the purest form of compliment, an honest reaction.
“You like it when I look at you.”
Her cheeks reddened as he spoke. She shrugged.
“Don’t do that.”
There was a reprimand in his voice, but a caring one. He moved toward her, stopping only when he was looming over her.
“Don’t think you’re not worth my attention—” He touched his fingertip to her lips when she started to answer. “Don’t make the mistake of lumping yourself into the hordes of fans who are into hookups.”
“Well, they do seem to have a lot of confidence.” Which she was feeling a lack of at the moment.
“So do you, Jewel,” he said softly. “That’s why you were waiting. Taz has been chewing my tail about it for a while now, but it took meeting you for it to sink in. Quality, not quantity.”
His words sank in deep and warmed her entire core. She reached out and grasped his cock, needing to stand up to him, to give as much as she received.
“I’m hoping that doesn’t mean you’re planning on slowing down on my account…” She stroked his cock, humming as it hardened to marble.
He made a low sound in the back of his throat before he shifted and looked around her shoulder, cupping it and turning her.
“You have ink,” he drawled huskily.
“Be sort of odd if I didn’t.” But the fact that he was just noticing rammed home how explosive their relationship had been. It was their first true “morning after” moment in the bright light of day.
“It’s Japanese.” He fingered the symbol on her lower back.
“Yeah,” she answered, shivering at his touch. “It means music.”
He cupped her shoulder and turned her back to face him. “Why?” His voice was edged with emotion, his dark eyes glassy with it. She was shaking him down to his core.
“Because music is the only true universal language. It defines the human element, shows the nature of our spirits.”
“Yeah, baby, it does,” he choked out. For a moment, she gained a glimpse at the man inside him who was lost. He was looking at her, to her, for solace. She reached for him, settling her hands around his neck as she rose on her toes to kiss him. It was a sweet kiss, a tender exploration of the moment, an exchange of need and hidden fears.
He lifted her off her feet and pressed her against the wall, his cock buried in her to the hilt.
“You love it when I go slow, baby…”
* * *
The members of Toxsin knew how to get down to business. They rolled out of the hotel before noon and rode their Harleys up to Sammy’s mega mansion. Unlike their stage personas, when they hit the recording studio, they had their hair back and their game faces on.
The music producer was in top form too, taking up a position of command in the control booth. Toxsin was behind glass, headphones covering their ears as they watched the screens for the music. Ramsey worked the strings of his instrument like the pro he was, fascinating Jewel with the raw talent coming out of him.
Tia slid up beside Jewel, her attention on Ramsey. “He is an animal. One hell of a good fuck. Better enjoy the time you have his attention.”
Tia had chosen her moment well, waiting until Kate had moved off to the other side of the room to talk with Sammy.
“Is that why you took him to Spike?” Jewel asked.
Tia rolled her eyes. “He had it coming. You’ll see. He’s hot for your snatch now, but the moment he decides he wants a different flavor, he’ll drop you.” Tia’s features turned mean. She squinted at Jewel like she was a cockroach, one she wanted to squash. “Unlike me, you won’t have any way to get back into his world. You’ll be rolled out to the curb like garbage.” She made a gesture with her manicured fingers.
“I’ll take my chances,” Jewel offered as nonchalantly as she could.
Tia wasn’t impressed. “Don’t you wonder why he never told Sammy about Spike? It’s simple, darling. I’m part of his world. You don’t have any connections, just a pussy he wants to screw. He’s not the first man to get an itch for a good girl. For what it’s worth, you’ll have a hell of a memory to take with you. Maybe that will keep you warm when you end up
married to some cubicle troll.”
Jewel’s eyes narrowed.
“Hey now…” Sammy proved he wasn’t as focused on his conversation with Kate as he appeared. “No catfighting in the studio. Take that shit outside.”
Jewel offered him a smile. “Tia was just explaining a few things to me.”
“That so?” Sammy asked, his lips curling into a smug grin. “Ramsey’s a lucky dog. That’s all I’m going to say.”
“Not that lucky.” Tia was moving across the control room, looking like some sort of fashion model. She smoothed her hands over Sammy’s chest and up around his neck as she pressed her perfect little body against his. “You’re the only man I have eyes for in this room.”
Sammy’s hands cupped her hips for a moment, his fingers spreading out over the curve of her butt before Drake started marking the count with his drumsticks again. The second he did, Sammy pushed Tia aside, missing the glare she sent him.
Jewel almost felt sorry for her. She was only a toy. Tia caught her watching and sent her a smug look, but it was less than convincing.
Clearly she was right where she wanted to be. Better to pity the people who felt the sting of her claws. Tia made her way back, flashing Jewel a warning look.
“You’re smart,” she said after a long moment of listening to the music. “Just don’t be stupid enough to pull the ‘bun in the oven’ maneuver. A man like Ramsey will never be leashed. He enjoyed your cherry, just don’t think you know shit about keeping him satisfied.”
Jewel swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. There was a wealth of experience in Tia’s eyes. It struck her as ugly, but at the same time, damned hard to ignore. “Unlike you, I wouldn’t want to see him tethered.”
Tia made a little humming noise before scoffing at her. “Glad you understand that. He’s not going to think about things like birth control pills. That’s your problem.”
Victory flickered in her eyes before she sauntered off. The hairs on the back of Jewel’s neck stood up as she looked up and found Ramsey watching her. The music playing was a recording. He frowned at her. She shook her head and sent him a smile.
But her belly was roiling, the urge to run to the bathroom and throw up nearly too much to ignore. She forced herself to quell it—there was no way Tia was going to scare her.
They’d been careless.
It was a blunt, harsh fact that horrified her.
And there was nothing she could do about it. Sure, she knew about the morning-after pill but rejected that idea instantly. She couldn’t stop life, and if it was growing inside her, well, she’d just have to deal with it.
Even if Ramsey walked away.
* * *
“She upset you.”
Ramsey didn’t waste any time. The moment he could break away, he tugged her down the hallway to the suite they’d used during the party. The swing was still there, and once again, she was distracted completely by Ramsey as he closed the door.
“Tell me what the bitch said.”
“It doesn’t matter—”
“The hell it doesn’t,” he said, cutting her off.
Jewel reached out and flattened her hand against his lips to silence him. “It doesn’t. Being in a relationship with you means I have to deal with crap being said. And so do you. Wasn’t the last headline about me being Syon’s lover?”
He licked her hand. She jumped back, but not before a crazy twist of need went through her, raising goose bumps all the way down to her toes.
“I know you aren’t messing around with Syon.”
“So…what then?” she demanded. “Is this the real reason you have Steven trailing me?”
“Fuck no,” he snapped. “You’re redirecting, Jewel, and picking at me to avoid sharing your feelings with me. Answer the question.”
He was right, and she didn’t like it, largely because she didn’t want to face her own reckless behavior.
“I can go ask Tia,” he threatened. “She’ll tell me in a heartbeat.”
“Don’t be a prick.” Jewel drew in a deep breath. “She’ll lie to you just as easily as tell you anyway.”
He shrugged. “Maybe, depends on the topic.”
Her insides twisted, her belly doing a little flip. Tia would happily blow the top off a subject so touchy. But her temper sizzled too. “I get your point on Steven. Don’t go thinking I’ll take your controlling me like that on matters that aren’t about safety. If I’m not ready to tell you something, you don’t threaten to go check up on me. Not when it’s personal.” She was drawing a line. Maybe it was risky, but she decided she wasn’t going to be a doormat.
Ramsey cursed. “Jesus, Jewel…you’re tearing me to sheds. Just tell me. I can’t stand knowing you’re upset. I want to help, be a part of…stuff. You’re shutting me out.”
He meant it. Her temper fizzled out, leaving her nursing guilt for being too chicken to share her concern with him. “It’s stupid, and for the record, I’m trying not to whine. I do know how to pull up my big-girl panties.”
“Not stupid if it upset you,” he countered. “Tia is messing with you because of me, which was my screwup. So that means I’m going to stay right here until you tell me.”
“You own your fuckups?”
He nodded once, firm and hard, with determination glittering in his eyes. “Spill it, Jewel, we’re in this together.”
It was his last word that broke her down. Together. It was an idea really, a shimmering concept that she was still too scared to accept as reality. She really should have had more pride, but the reality was, she was pretty sure she’d crumble like a dried-out sand castle if he cut her out of his life. So that meant trusting him. Jewel swallowed the lump lodged in her throat. “She was being a bitch—”
“She’s good at that,” he interrupted.
Jewel propped her hand on her hip. “Well, you’re the one who dated her.”
“Hooked up with. And in my defense, it was a little more like I didn’t shove her off when she sat in my lap. I didn’t chase her. Tia is a groupie,” he explained. “You’re the first woman I’ve dated since I was in high school.”
“But she has connections,” Jewel finished, feeling a little hollow and out of her league. Sure, she should have been able to hold on to her confidence, but she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t admit to being just a little envious of Tia’s ability to stay in Ramsey’s world.
“Don’t,” he said firmly.
She’d been lost in her thoughts. “Huh?”
He reached out and flattened his hand on her chest. Just above her heart. “Don’t think Tia has anything compared to this…connection between us.”
She knew instantly what he was talking about. The current was there, his touch awakening her body. It was immediate and so strong, her breath caught.
Breathless. Yeah. That’s what he did to her.
“I fucked Tia. She made the offer, and I took her up on it. I sure as hell never spent any time trying to impress her or find a way to keep her near me. I put off having you work on my ink because I don’t want you to have a way to leave.”
The admission shocked her, hitting her directly in the heart. It was the sweetest thing she’d ever heard. Ramsey pushed a hand through his hair in exasperation.
“What…did she threaten you with?” he asked roughly. “Please.”
She was going to have to step up and meet him. Take a chance on letting him see her at her weakest.
“She…” Jewel got stuck, because her emotions were swirling around, making thought difficult. “She said it to be a warning, and I can ignore it, except…I realized the core point was something I should have addressed. That’s what I’m dwelling on.”
He reached out and cupped her shoulders, his face warning her he was just about out of patience with her hedging.
“I’m not on birth control,” she pushed out. “And I lost my head the other night and…”
“Tia somehow knew you weren’t on the pill?” he asked, his tone go
ne dead serious.
“No,” she answered quickly, realizing his mind had instantly jumped to security. She saw the man he must have been in the Navy, his focus clear and unwavering. That sort of thing came only from knowing your life and those of your comrades hung in the balance. But she realized what Tia had known, and it made her stop.
Ramsey lifted her chin when she looked down while she contemplated.
“Tell me exactly what she said.” His tone was deadly serious.
“Um…she knew I was a virgin. I didn’t think a lot about it at the moment.”
But she should have. “It’s really weird the way she knows what’s going on in your bed.”
He grunted. “That’s because I’m a meal ticket to her.”
That made sense. Jewel nodded, but Ramsey kept her chin cupped in his hand. “So tell me how she threatened you.”
“You’re not dropping it, are you?” It was a pointless question that earned her a half grin from him that was full of promise.
Well, no guts, no glory…
“She told me you’d dump me…”
He snorted. The little sound filled her with happiness. It was just there, in her chest like a huge bubble of joy. He read the realization right off her face, one side of his mouth lifting into a grin, but he held up one finger between them.
“And she said…what?”
“That I shouldn’t try to hold you with a bun in the oven.” Reality was killing the mood, puncturing that bubble of joy as she was forced to face hard facts. Standing still became impossible. She walked by him as she flung her hands into the air. “And I realized I should have done something about making sure…”
He caught her from behind, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on top of her head. “We.”
He kissed her temple and smoothed his hands down her arms. “We should have done something, Jewel, not you. We are in a relationship. It’s both our responsibilities to discuss birth control. And stop making everything so easy for me. I don’t deserve that.”
She turned around, cupping his cheek. “Yes, you do.”
