“I hope not. But I don’t think that will be necessary.” He bent over Max where he lay on the floor. “He’s not dead.”
“What?”
Victor slipped out of his immaculate jacket and wrapped it around the gaping wounds on Max’s back. “He’s not dead. Did you think it would be that easy?”
Max groaned in agony and Victor clicked his tongue. “You should have taken the deal I offered you, Max. You will be a long time healing from this.”
“What do we do with him then,” Mitch asked, “if we can’t kill him?”
“We’ve got the perfect place to incarcerate him. I’ll take him to New Orleans when this is all over. For now, though, I still have some connections with the New York Police Department. They can hold him for me until it’s time to go. He’ll be too weakened to try to escape. For a few days, at least.”
Victor heaved Max up off the floor and half-carried, half-dragged him to the door, pausing only a minute to lean over Derek on his way out. “I won’t hold you responsible, young man. But see that you report to me as soon as your bones heal. You have a lot to learn.”
Chapter 30
All five of us ended up in Vivienne’s room until dawn. Victor returned after a while and ordered a few bottles of wine from room service.
“Max isn’t dead, Victor,” I said, “but he might as well be, once you close the door to that tank. What’s next? Will he stay in there forever?”
Victor sighed. “I don’t know, Deirdre. I don’t fully understand what happened to him. None of you would know it, but I saw great things in him when I chose him for the life. Unfortunately, the combination of eternal life and abnormal power does strange things to a man or a vampire.” He made no attempt to hide the tears in his eyes. “It may not be true,” he continued, with a nod at me, “but I choose to believe that he would have been content with death had Eduard not played God and given him rebirth. It may be that death really was what he wanted. I’m almost sorry I couldn’t give it to him.”
After that, none of us could say another word. Dawn was approaching anyway and they all needed to seek shelter from the sun’s rays. “Deirdre and I will be attending Sam’s funeral tomorrow,” Victor said to Mitch as we walked to the door, “so if she is not there when you wake up, do not worry. She’ll be safe. And Deirdre? I took the liberty of sending more appropriate clothes to your room. It wouldn’t do to have you appear at the grave site in jeans.”
“Thank you, Victor.” On impulse I gave him a hug. “I wish it had ended differently and that he’d taken your offer,” I whispered to him. “I really wanted to believe that Max was not entirely evil.”
He patted my cheek. “I know you did. And I love you for that, child. I’ll be waiting for you outside in the limousine when you’re ready. Take your time.”
I showered and dressed while Mitch lay in bed, half-asleep. The dress Victor sent fit me perfectly and he’d even sent shoes, a purse, and a coat, along with makeup and a pearl necklace and earrings. “He thought of everything,” I said to Mitch.
“Yeah. I’m sorry you have to do this alone, love. I wish I could be there, but . . .”
“I know, Mitch. And Sam would have understood. I’ll make your good-byes for you.” I leaned over the bed and kissed him.
“Hurry back,” he said, giving me a playful slap on my backside.
“I’ll try, Mitch. Until then, know that I love you.”
“And I love you.”
I almost relented and stayed, but as I straightened up, I felt the baby give me a kick. The vision Victor had planted in my head remained, haunting my thoughts with the horrifying idea of carrying an unborn child for all eternity. And if all it took was one drop of blood from Mitch? I shivered. No, I thought, I can’t allow that to happen. The child deserved to live as normal a life as I could provide. No matter how much it tore me to pieces, how much my heart protested, there was really no other choice for me. And certainly no other acceptable choice for the child I carried. I had to leave.
I smiled to myself as I softly closed the door behind me, remembering something Mitch had once said. “Just because I know it’s true, doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
Sam’s funeral lasted over an hour, culminating in prayers at the grave side. Victor pulled me aside and handed me a folder of papers and a suitcase. “Here are your plane tickets,” he said, “a key to the new cabin, and the clothes that you’d left behind at Max’s place.” He paused a bit and I shared the pain he felt. Max may not have been dead, but the life that spread before him was almost too hideous to contemplate. Death might have been kinder, but death would never claim Max.
Victor nodded. “Yes, death would have been kinder.” Then he reached over and took my hand. “I’ve arranged to have someone pick you up at the airport and take you home.”
“Are you sure I have to do this, Victor?”
“Trust me, Deirdre. It’s for the best. I will explain it all to Mitch, I’m quite sure he’ll understand.”
I gave a sharp bitter laugh. “And I’m quite sure he won’t. How could he? But thank you for everything you’ve done. I know you’re only trying to protect me and the child. Will I see you again?”
“Absolutely, my dear.”
“Give my love to Lily. I understand she’s waiting for you to return to New Orleans. Keep her away from Max and keep her safe.”
“I promise. She will be fine; I guarantee that. They will all be fine with time. Now go, and quickly, before you change your mind.”
Victor had reserved me a window seat. Flying in the daylight proved to be a much more exciting experience than any of the night flights I’d ever taken. I sat glued to my seat, unable to take my eyes away from the window, totally enthralled with the view—the earth below when it was visible was breathtaking; to be able to see houses and fields and cars amazed me. When we flew high enough to get above the clouds, I gave a short exclamation of surprise at the pure clear blue depth of the sky and the seeming weight of the clouds piled up beneath. The man next to me smiled. “First flight?”
“You might say that. It’s wonderful.”
He shrugged, “I travel so much now I tend to forget how impressive it can be. Enjoy the flight.” He turned back to his laptop calculator for the rest of the flight, apparently without giving me a second thought.
I laughed to myself. Ordinarily, he’d have been enthralled with me, my vampiric nature would call out to him and I would appear beautiful and exotic in his eyes. As for me, I would have been eyeing his skin and his blood, made hungry by his scent, tempted by his physical closeness and the clearly visible pulse of the veins in his neck. I’d wonder if there might be a way I could feed on him without being observed. And now? Now I was nothing more than a seat mate, a curiosity only. It would take me some time to become accustomed to being merely human, to get used to the fact that from now on, I’d have to get by on my own without relying on the charms I used to possess. Life was going to be interesting.
Elly waited for me at the airport, waving as I walked past the security gate. She smiled at me and held out her arms, holding me close. The scent of lavender and rosemary surrounded her like a cloud.
“How’ve you been?” she asked, looking me up and down. “You look different than I remember; there’s a certain hunger your eyes used to hold that’s gone now. And that’s good, I guess.” We started walking to the luggage claim area. “I had quite an interesting talk with the man who came to make arrangements to rebuild your house.”
“Victor?”
“Yes, Victor Lange. He is, well, in a word, amazing. Is it true?”
“Is what true?”
We stood at the carousel now, waiting for the baggage to arrive and she pulled me away from the crowd so that we could talk in private. “That you are no longer a vampire? And that you are pregnant?”
“Ah. That. Yes, it’s all true.”
“Like I said. Amazing. Now, tell me. How do you feel?”
“Tired mostly. And a little bit nauseate
d.” I did not wish to discuss the other emotions that flowed through me. The guilt and the sorrow of leaving were still too fresh for words. I brushed away a tear impatiently and Elly looked away from me.
“Well, then,” she said, her voice seeming overly cheerful, “let’s get your bag and get you home.”
We settled into a routine, Elly and I. During the day she would show me her garden and explain the uses of the different plants. We would work in her kitchen, canning and preserving the food she grew. When the weather permitted, we would hike in the nearby woods. I had known the surrounding forest quite well as the Cat, but experiencing them as a human made it all seem new. Some days she would drive me into town in her run-down vehicle to see the doctor, for supplies, or for just a hot cup of coffee (decaffeinated for me) or tea at the diner. Since I still could not digest solid food, I subsisted entirely on dietary supplemental drinks. However, the smell of food no longer made me feel sick and I hoped that soon I could expand my diet.
In short, my days passed quickly but the nights were long and lonely and filled with dreams and nightmares of my former life. Of Max. Of Mitch.
Vivienne stopped to visit one night in the early spring, bearing a bottle of rich red wine. I declined to drink with her for the health of the baby but my refusal did nothing to dampen her spirits. She babbled for a bit about how she’d taken back the Ballroom of Romance and turned it into Dangerous Crossing Redux. “Ma cher, you wouldn’t believe that no one calls it that, instead it’s become Ducks.” She giggled. “Imagine the swan owning a club called Ducks. It boggles the mind. Humans are very odd indeed.”
“Are we?”
“Ah, I did not mean you. You can never be completely human.” She grinned, a wicked smile that brought out her dimples. “You don’t smell right, for one thing.”
I laughed. “I suppose that’s nice to know.” I hesitated, wanting to ask the question that had haunted me since my departure. “How is, er, everyone doing? Do you hear much from Lily? Or Victor?”
Vivienne gave me a shrewd look, not fooled by my pause. “Everyone is fine. They miss you, of course. Chris is staying in New Orleans with Victor and Lily. They’ve all moved to a larger house.”
“Why is Chris staying with them? I’d have thought he’d stay with Mitch.”
“Victor, apparently, was designated as Chris’s next of kin and legal guardian. Apparently his admission that Eduard was his brother was true. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard any more of that story; he’s still as close-lipped as he ever was. Lily is talking about making a visit to see the baby when it is born. Which reminds me”—she reached over and put her hand on my extended abdomen—“how is the little one doing?”
Her skin felt cold and the baby moved under her hand. She jumped in surprise, then pressed harder, and the baby kicked back. Vivienne giggled with delight. “See, the petit chou knows that her Auntie Viv is here. Do you know if it is a girl or a boy yet?”
“I had an ultrasound,” I said, “and the doctor could have told me then, but I didn’t want to spoil the surprise.”
“You didn’t want to know?
I shook my head. “No. It doesn’t seem important to me right now. A healthy baby will be miracle enough.”
“Oui. I understand.”
She finished the bottle of wine and the two of us sat in front of the fire for a while, not speaking, until she reached over and took my hand. “I had a long talk with Victor. And I understand why you are here and how hard it must have been for you. I know how it feels to be apart from the one you love. That it was your choice may perhaps make it much worse.”
“Are you doing all right?”
“All right?”
“Without Sam?”
“To be honest, Deirdre, as each day goes by, I miss him more. And yet I can live with the pain.” She laughed, a sorrowful sound, deeper than her normal metallic high-pitched giggle. “I do not allow myself to think about it. For me, that works adequately. I was never much of a thinker.”
“Ah. I’m sorry I mentioned it.”
She gave a little flip of her hand. “It is what it is. We move forward, we have no choice in the matter. As you yourself know.”
“Yes.”
And still I couldn’t ask about him. I didn’t dare even say his name, the ache was too sharp.
Eventually, she got up from the chair. “Well, I must go, ma cher, before the dawn catches me napping.”
“You could stay, Vivienne. We could make the loft safe from sunlight for you.”
“Thank you for the offer, but no. I have a hotel room in town and Derek is waiting for me there. I thought it best not to bring him along on this visit.”
“Derek? From the Ballroom of Romance? That Derek?”
“Victor has given him over to me for training,” Vivienne said. “Max did a poor job of it.”
“And I am not able to.”
“You? Why would you be involved?”
“He’s mine, isn’t he? Max said that he was.”
She laughed. “Max? Pah, he is hardly one to believe. Besides, if Derek were yours, you would have known it instantly. Rest easy, Derek is my responsibility now. And I will rule him with an iron hand.”
“Or,” I said with a smile, “a velvet glove.”
Vivienne giggled. “Oui. Whatever it takes.”
We sat again in silence. Finally she rose from her chair, came over to me and hugged me, kissing both cheeks in the process. “I am glad to see you are doing so well, sister. I wish . . .” Her voice trailed off.
“What do you wish, Viv? That things could go back to the way they were? I am alone, but content. Don’t pity me.”
She laughed. “No, that is not what I was going to say. I can feel your satisfaction with the life you have chosen, it shows on your face. I was, if you will pardon me for saying it, thinking that Mitch does not look as good as you do. It is, apparently, a difficult adjustment for him.” She shot me a sideways glance and I could have sworn she smiled, for a split second. As if she had a secret she wanted to share.
“And?”
“And nothing. Just that he is not having an easy time. I thought you should know. Bon soir, Deirdre.”
When Viv left, I felt lonelier than I had before. And her statement that Mitch found the adjustment to life without me difficult haunted my thoughts night and day. I, too, wished that it could be different, that he would eventually find some happiness for himself. I loved him too much to wish anything else.
The days grew longer and the spring turned into summer. After tending my own garden, I would often sit on the steps of my front porch, my eyes closed and my face upturned to the sun. As always when I did this, a sad smile would cross my face and I would drift away in thought to a time when this little luxury would have been a death sentence. And I knew, as the baby moved inside me, that I had made the right choice.
“You might at least have said good-bye.” I heard Mitch’s voice saying the same words I’d heard over and over again. I didn’t open my eyes, knowing that I would be disappointed as I always had been when I could hear him reproaching me, in the back of my mind. He wasn’t real.
“If I had, Mitch, I wouldn’t have left.”
“Bloody hell, Deirdre, it was a stupid thing to do.”
He’d never argued with me before in my mind, nor did he swear. My eyes shot open and Mitch stood in front of me. Smiling. The late afternoon sun reflected against his gray hair.
“Mitch!”
“You’d damn well better not have been expecting anyone else.”
I smiled, and struggled to my feet, embarrassed and aware of the grace that I’d lost with the growth of the child. He held out a hand, I took it and he pulled me into a hard embrace.
I pushed away from him. “You shouldn’t be here,” I said, “Victor says that even one drop of your blood could stop the baby from growing, from being born. We don’t want that to happen.”
“Maybe,” Mitch smiled, “Victor changed his mind.”
“Did he
?”
“No.” He stopped for a minute, just smiling at me. Then he started to laugh. “Damn it, woman, have all of your powers of observation gone away?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Think again. Deirdre, my love, what time is it?”
I squinted up at the sun. “Probably around four or so. Why?” Even as I said it, I realized the significance. “You changed, Mitch? For me.”
“Of course I did. Victor explained why you’d left and I understood. I wasn’t happy about it, but there wasn’t much to do. I wouldn’t have wanted to jeopardize the baby either. Then one night, as the sun was setting, it hit me. I had a hard time finding Victor and had a hard time convincing him I wanted to take the poison. Poison, he called it, as if it wasn’t the answer to my every prayer. It wasn’t easy and I almost died, but I’m here and I’m as human as I’ll ever manage to be. When it was all over and done with, I realized that Victor had planned it this way.”
Mitch laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. “The old bastard knew both of us well enough to understand that the decision had to be one that each of us made without help or input. Any other way, and the two of us would torture ourselves for the rest of our lives over the assumed sacrifice of the other. But I still can’t forgive the days and nights I waited for a word from you. So help me, Deirdre, if you ever run away from me again, I’ll track you down and keep you prisoner.”
I laughed and kissed him. “Since the night we met, I’ve always been your prisoner, Mitch. Come inside and I’ll show you the new cabin.”
Epilogue
“Do you miss it, Mitch?” The baby had awakened me in the middle of the night and I found him gone from our bed. When I had her changed and cleaned, I carried her down the stairs to the rocking chair in front of the fire. She nestled into me and began suckling and I kissed the top of her head. I said the words quietly so as not to startle her, poor little defenseless thing.
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