It took a minute for her to realize what he was asking, and it made the situation take on alarming, very adult implications. To him this was familiar territory. But Mari was a pioneer.
"No," she whispered unsteadily. "I'm not."
"It's just as wel ," he murmured, bending to her mouth. "I think.. it might spoil things right now to force that kind of total intimacy on you." His hand smoothed tenderly over her breast as he probed at her trembling lips. "Don't you want to touch me like this?"
She did, but she couldn't say it. Her hands went slowly to his shirt and slid under it, finding the exciting abrasion of thick chest hair over warm muscle a heady combination. His mouth moved hungrily against hers at the first tentative touch, and one hand went between them to rip the fabric completely out of the way and give her total acces . 104
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His harsh breathing disturbed her, but she was intoxicated by the intimacy they were sharing. Impulsively she moved her hands and arched upward let ing her breasts tease his chest, feeling the sudden acceleration of his heartbeat with wonder.
He poised over her, lifting his head. His eyes were dark with pas ion, his chest shuddering with it. "Do that again," he said roughly. She did, on fire with hunger, wanting something more than the teasing, wanting him. She felt his chest tremble, and she looked down at his darknes against her paler flesh with a sense of wonder.
"Yes, look at it," he whispered, his voice harsh, shaken as he stared, too. "Look at the differences. Dark against light, muscle against softnes . Your breasts are like bread and honey."
As he spoke, he eased down. His heavy body surged against hers as he fit ed it over her barenes , and her pupils dilated helples ly at the warm ecstasy of his full weight over her.
"Give me your mouth now," he whispered, bending. "Let me feel you completely."
It was a kis like nothing she'd ever imagined in her life. She held him tenderly, her hands smoothing his thick, dark hair, her body throbbing its whole length where she could feel the powerful muscles of his body taut and smooth.
He tasted of coffee, and there was a new tendernes in him, in the lips that delicately pushed at hers so that his tongue could enter the soft, sweet darknes of her mouth. She felt it touch hers, tangle with it, and she gave herself up to a sensation that was al mystery and delight.
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His hands smoothed down her sides, her back, savoring the smooth supplenes of her skin. He ached like hel , and he could have cursed himself for causing this, for forget ing how naive she was. She wanted him and, God, he wanted her! But he could make her pregnant. And part of her would hate him forever if he forced this on her. It wasn't going to be good for her. She was so much a virgin..
His cheek slid against hers, and he rolled onto his side, holding her protectively to him, feeling her breasts crush softly against his chest.
"Hold me," he whispered. "Just hold me until we stop trembling."
"I want you," she whimpered, beyond thought, beyond pride. She bit his shoulder. "I want you."
"1 know. But we can't." His cheek nuzzled hers, and his lips touched her tear-streaked face tenderly. He hadn't realized she was crying until then. He drew a breath. "Are you al right?" he asked softly.
"I ache," she sobbed.
"I could satisfy you," he whispered. "Without going al the way."
She sensed that. Her eyes searched his in wonder. "No," she said after a minute. "I won't do that to you." She touched his face, fascinated by the look the words produced. "I'm sorry. I should have said something a long time ago. I should have asked you to stop."
"But it was too sweet, wasn't it?" he asked, his voice quiet and deep as he touched her face with fingers that were pos es ive and gentle. "So sweet, like making love with every part of us. I've never in my life experienced anything like it. Not even sex was ever this good."
That shocked her, and her eyes mirrored it. "Not. .even sex?"
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He shook his head. "With you I think it would be lovemaking, not sex. I don't think you and I could accept something as coldly clinical as that.'
She was so tempted. She wanted him desperately. Everybody did it these days, didn't they? Maybe she wouldn't get pregnant. She loved him. Loved him!
But he saw the uncertainty in her eyes and mistook it for fear. For God's sake, where was his brain, anyway? She was a virgin. Lil ian was right downstairs. Was he crazy? He ignored the feverish hunger of his body and managed to smile reas uringly as he slowly drew away from her to sit up with a hard sigh.
"No more, honey," he said heavily and managed to laugh. "I'm too old for this kind of playing." Playing? She stared at him helples ly as he forced his staggered brain to function and found her gown. He put her into it with a minimum of fus and then lifted her long enough to turn down the covers. He put her under them, smoothing them over her breasts.
He couldn't tel her that his own vulnerability and weaknes had shocked him. He hadn't planned this, he hadn't expected to be drawn into such a long, intimate loving. It had been loving, of a kind. He scowled, watching her, fascinated by her innocence, her helples reaction to his touch. He'd come to her room, in fact, to tel her that he wanted to get on a friendly footing with her, to stop the intimacy that could al too easily overwhelm both of them. But the sight of her in that tub had wiped every sane thought right out of his mind. Now he looked at her and saw commitment and the loss of his precious freedom. He saw al the old wounds, the helples nes of his at raction to that tramp who'd taken him in.
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With a rough curse he got to his feet, running an angry hand through his hair.
"You needn't look at me that way," she bit off, close to tears again but for a total y different reason. "As if I were a fal en woman. I didn't walk into your bathroom and start staring at you."
"I didn't mean for that to happen," he said curtly.
She softened a lit le at the confes ion. He looked as shaken as she felt. "It's al right," she replied, fumbling with the coverlet. "I didn't, either."
"I'm old enough to know bet er, though," he murmured, feeling venerable and protective as he stared down at her. He put his hands in his pockets with a long sigh. "I came up here to see if we might get on a different footing. A friendly footing, without al these physical complications." He laughed softly. "I suppose you noticed how wel I succeeded."
"Yes," she murmured tongue in cheek. She recal ed everything she'd let him do and went scarlet, dropping her embarras ed eyes.
"None of that," he eluded. "You're a woman now, not a lit le girl. Nothing we did would make you pregnant."
"I know that!" she burst out, feverishly avoiding his mocking gaze.
"I just wanted to reas ure you." He stretched lazily, very masculine with his shirt unbuttoned and his hair mussed. Very disturbing, watching her that way. "No one wil ever know what we did in here," he added. "Just you and me. That makes it a very private thing, Mari."
"Yes." She glanced up and then down again. "I hope you don't think I do that with just anyone." 108
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"I don't think that at al ." He bent and brushed his lips gently over her forehead. "It's very exciting being the first," he whispered. "Even in this way." Her face felt hot as she looked up into lazy, warm eyes. "I'm glad it was with you."
"Yes. So am I." He searched her eyes gently and started to lean toward her, but his survival instincts warned him against it. Instead, he stood up with a smile and went to the door. "Good night, honey. Sleep wel ."
"You, too."
He closed the door without looking back, and Mari stared at it for a long time before she drew a shuddering sigh and turned out the light.
Chapter Eight
M ari hardly slept. She felt his hands al through the night, along with a new and curious kind of frustration that wouldn't subside. Every time she thought about Ward, her body began to throb. These new fee
lings frightened her because they were so unexpected. She didn't know what to do. The urge to cut and run was very strong. Lil ian was hobbling around putting plat ers on the table for breakfast. She looked up, smiling, as Mari came into the room dres ed in jeans and a pullover burgundy knit blouse.
"Good morning, glory," Lil ian said brightly. "Isn't it a beautiful day?"
It was, in fact, but Lil ian seemed to be overjoyed at something besides the great outdoors. "Yes," Mari returned. She glanced at the empty chair at the head of the table. 110
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"He'l be back in a minute," the older woman said knowingly. "Looks like a storm cloud this morning, he does. AH ruffled and absentminded. Been staring up that staircase ever since he came downstairs, too," she added wickedly.
Mari darted into the kitchen. "I'l help you get breakfast on the table," she said quickly, avoiding that amused gaze. At least Lil ian was enjoying herself. Mari wasn't. She was afraid.
She and Lil ian had started eating before Ward came back. He looked tired, but his face brightened when he spotted Mari. He smiled without real y wanting to and tossed his hat onto a side table before he sprawled into a chair. His jeans were dusty and his blue checked shirt was a lit le disheveled.
"I've washed up," he told Lil ian before she could open her mouth. "I had to help get a bull out of a ditch."
"How did he get into the ditch?" Mari asked curiously.
Ward grinned. "Trying to jump a fence to get to one of my young heifers. Amazing how love affects the mind, isn't it?" Mari flushed. Lil ian giggled. Ward leaned back in his chair, enjoying the view, watching Mari try to eat scrambled eggs with forced enjoyment.
"Don't you want something to eat, bos ?" Lil ian asked.
"I'm not real y hungry," he said without realizing what he was giving away to the old woman, who beamed at him. "But I'l have some toast and coffee, I gues . Sleep wel , Mari?" he asked as Lil ian handed him the carafe.
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Mari lifted her eyes. "Of course," she said, bluffing. "Did you?"
He shook his head, smiling faintly. "Not a wink."
She got lost in his green gaze and felt the force of it al the way to her toes. It took several seconds to drag her eyes down to her plate, and even then her heart ran wild. Ward watched her with evident enjoyment, caught up in the newnes of having a woman react that way to his teasing. Everything was new with Marianne. Just ordinary things, like sharing breakfast, took on new dimensions. He found that he liked looking at her. Especial y now since he knew exactly what she looked like under her clothes. His eyes darkened in memory. God, how exquisite she was!
Mari felt his intent stare al through her body. She could have made a meal of him, too, with her eyes. He looked so good. For al his huge size he was lithe and graceful, and she loved the way he moved. He was as sensuous a man as she'd ever known, a very masculine presence with a disturbing effect on her senses. She didn't think her feet would ever touch the ground again. Just being near him set her on fire. She wanted to get up and touch him, put her mouth on his, feel his arms crushing her to every inch of that long, elegant body. Her fingers trembled on her fork, and she flushed with embarras ment when he noticed her nervousnes .
"Come for a ride with me," Ward said suddenly.
She looked up at him. "Now?"
He shrugged. "Lil ian can answer the phone. There's nothing pres ing for today. Why not?"
"No reason at al ," Lil ian agreed quickly. "Go ahead. I'l handle the home front."
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Mari submit ed before she could begin to protest. Why pretend? She wanted to be alone with him, and he knew it. Her blue eyes searched his green ones longingly, everything plain and undisguised in her oval face. He felt explosive. Young. A boy again with a special girl.
He threw down his napkin and got to his feet, hoping his helples urgency didn't show too much. "Let's go," he bit off. Mari followed him. She barely heard Lil ian's voice behind her saying something about having fun. Her eyes were on Ward's strong back, her body moving as if she were a sleepwalker. She was on fire for him. Whatever happened now happened. She loved him. If he wanted her, she wasn't going to stop him. He had to feel something for her, too. He had to care just a lit le!
He saddled two horses in stark silence, his hands deft and firm as he pulled cinches tight and checked bridles. When he helped her into the saddle, his eyes were dark and posses ive, his hand lingering when she was seated. "You look good on a horse, honey," he said quietly. She looked down at him and smiled, feeling the warmth of his chest against her leg. "Do I?" she asked gently, her voice soft with longing.
"I want you, Marianne," he said half under his breath. "I've thought about nothing else al night. So go slow, wil you? I want to talk today. Just talk. I want to get to know you." That was flat ering and a lit le surprising. Maybe even disappointing. But she had to keep it from showing so she kept smiling. "I'd like that," she said. He didn't answer her. He felt the same hunger she did, but he was more adept at hiding his yearnings. He
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didn't want to frighten her off, not before he made a stab at establishing a relationship with her. He didn't know how she was going to react to what he had in mind, but he knew they couldn't go on like this. Things had to be set led—today. Busines was going to suffer if he kept on mooning over that perfect young body. Physical at raction was a damnable inconvenience, he thought angrily. He'd thought he was too old to be this susceptible. Apparently he was more vulnerable than he'd ever realized. He swung into the saddle and led the way down the long trail that ran around the ranch. His men were out working with the cat le, get ing them moved to summer pasture, doing al the lit le things around the ranch that contributed to the huge cow-calf operation. Fixing machines. Planting feed. Cleaning out stal s. Checking supplies. Making lists of chores. It was a big task, running a ranch even this size, but Ty Wade's, which adjoined it, was huge by comparison. The oil busines was Ward's main concern, but he did like the idea of running cat le, as his grandfather had done so many years before. Perhaps it got into a man's blood. Not that he minded sinking wel s under his cat le. He had one or two on his own property, and Tyson Wade's spread was proving to be rich in the black gold. His instincts hadn't failed him there, and he was glad. Ty would never have let him live it down if he'd been wrong and the oil hadn't been there. As it was, the. discovery on that leased land had saved Ty from some hard financial times. It had worked out wel al the way around.
Mari glanced at him, curious about that satisfied look on his hard, dark face. She wondered what thoughts were giving him such pleasure. 114
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He laughed out loud, staring ahead. "Those old instincts never seem to let me down," he murmured. "I think I could find oil with my nose."
"What?"
He looked over at her. "I was thinking about that oil I found on Ty Wade's place. It was a hel of a gamble, but it sure paid off." So. It was busines that made him feel so good, not her company. "Is busines the only pleasure in your life?' she asked gently. He shrugged. "The only lasting one, I gues ." He stared toward the horizon. "There were some pret y hard times around here when I was a kid. Oh, we always had plenty of food, you know—that's one of the advantages of living on a ranch. But we didn't have much in the way of material things. Clothes were al secondhand, and I wore boots with holes in the soles for most of my childhood. That wasn't so bad, but I got ragged a lot about my mother." She could imagine that he had. "I gues I was pret y lucky," she said. "My parents were good to me. We always got by." He studied her quietly. "I'l bet you were a tomboy."
She laughed, delighted. "I was. I played sandlot basebal and climbed trees and played war. There was only one other girl on my street, and she and I had to be tough to survive with al the boys. They didn't pull their punches just because we were girls. We had a good time growing up al the same." He fingered the reins as they rode along
to the musical squeak of saddle leather. "I liked playing cowboys and Indians," he recal ed. "Had my own horse."
"Which were you?"
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He chuckled. "Mostly I was the Indian. I had a Cherokee ancestor, they say."
"You're very dark," she agreed.
"Honey, that's sun, not inherited. I spent a lot of time working rigs when I was younger, and I stil help out on occasion. The heat's easier stripped to the waist." She'd noticed how dark his skin was when he'd stripped off his shirt the night before and let her touch him. Her eyes went involuntarily to the hard muscles of his torso and lingered there.
"You don't do much sunbathing, do you?" he asked unexpectedly, and his eyes told her that he was remembering how pale she was. Her face colored. "No. There's no beach nearby, and I live upstairs in an apartment building. I don't have any place to sunbathe."
"It isn't good for the skin. Mine's like leather," he commented. "Yours is silky soft____" She urged her mount ahead, embarras ed because she knew what he was seeing in his mind.
His mount fel into easy step beside her. "Don't be shy with me," he said gently. "There's nothing to be ashamed of."
"I gues I seem gras green to you," she commented.
"Sure you do," he replied and smiled. "I like it."
Her eyes went to the flat horizon beyond, to the scant trees and the long fence lines and the red coats of the cat le. "I never had many boyfriends," she told him, remembering.
"My dad was very strict."
"What was he like?"
"Oh, Very tal and stubborn. And terrific," she added. "I had great parents. I loved them both. Losing 116
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