“Ah, friends with benefits, huh?” His broad shoulders shook with soundless laughter at my shocked expression. “What? I have kids. Teenage grandkids too, in fact. I’m not completely out of touch.”
I smiled before scooping a forkful of eggs into my mouth. Talking to him was at least distracting me, helping me to shake the bad mood and self-pity. “I don’t know that I’d call it that exactly. We just couldn’t seem to stay away from each other. Whenever I’d pass through town, I’d call her or stop by her place and…” I knew I didn’t have to paint him a picture.
“And you thought that would be enough to keep her hanging on indefinitely?” He smirked. “Boy, you do have a lot to learn about women, don’t you?”
I didn’t appreciate his condescending tone, but I suspected he was right. I was obviously clueless when it came to the opposite sex. And the one woman I had tried to figure out still remained a mystery to me. She claimed to want to be married to her best friend, her soul mate, yet she was wasting her time with a man she clearly didn’t love, if the way she still looked at me was any indication.
“A woman needs to feel as though you can’t live without her. She doesn’t want to feel like an afterthought.”
“Riley was never an afterthought for me. She was my every thought.” I lowered my head when I realized I’d revealed the depth of my feelings for her to a complete stranger. Oh well, the secret was out. No sense trying to pretend I hadn’t said it. Or didn’t feel it. “I couldn’t get through a day, an hour, without thinking about her.”
“Mmm,” he said, rubbing his chin as he set his white ceramic mug cup down on the saucer. “So why’d y’all break up?”
“I was in and out of her life for a long time. She eventually decided that wasn’t enough for her anymore. She needed more. She deserved more.”
“But you couldn’t give her more?” he asked, studying me. “Is that what you’re saying?”
“I just wasn’t ready to settle down. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I ever would be. I told her that. So she showed me the door.”
“I can’t say that I blame her. No one wants to waste their time with someone who has no interest in sticking it out through the tough times.”
I thought of some of the tough times Riley and I had endured during the course of our relationship: my mother’s death, the pregnancy scare when she was seventeen, her dad’s open heart surgery while I was in college. We’d endured a lot and I’d always been there for her, just like she’d always been there for me. When had that changed? When did we stop leaning on each other for support?
“I lost my wife after a long and grueling battle with cancer,” he said, leaning forward, his crossed arms propped on the table. “Those were the worst two years of my life, seeing the woman I loved more than anything in pain and knowing there was nothing I could do about it.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, knowing nothing I could say or do would ease the pain associated with his memories.
“I’m not sorry.” He shook his head emphatically. “Those two years taught me more about love and life that I’d ever learned during our forty-plus years of marriage.”
“How?” I asked, pushing my plate aside.
“I’m ashamed to admit I took my wife for granted before that. She was always my rock. She was there to raise our kids and later help out with our grandkids. She kept the house and my books. She entertained like Martha Stewart and kept a smile on her face through it all.”
I smiled, thinking of my own mother. She’d endured a lot, thanks to our old man, but she always managed to keep a smile on her face for our sake.
“But when she got sick, that stopped me in my tracks. I sold the business and made it my mission to help her get well. I consulted every so-called expert in the country, determined that someone had the miracle cure we were looking for, ‘cause I was damn sure she wasn’t gonna die on me.”
I knew he didn’t get his miracle, just as we’d never gotten the miracle we’d prayed for when our mom was sick. I didn’t know why some prayers went unanswered, or why good people were taken while bastards like my father were allowed to live on indefinitely, only that the world was unjust and sometimes I hated to be a part of it.
“But she did die.” He released a gusty sigh while swiping his hand over his thick white hair. “She died, but not before I got the chance to fall in love with her all over again.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that. I may be a cynical son of a bitch, but thanks to Riley, I knew that love was real. And it was powerful.
“So you see, that’s why I’m grateful for those last two years. I guess I’m even grateful for her illness in a way. If she hadn’t gotten sick, maybe I wouldn’t have taken that time to spend with her, to get to know her all over again, and be reminded of what an incredible woman I married.”
“I guess sometimes blessings can come in an ugly disguise, huh?” It made me think of all the great talks I’d had with my mom before she passed. I knew I’d treasure for as long as I lived every word she’d said in those moments.
“They sure can, son. They sure can.”
Son. No one had called me that in years. But instead of bristling at the term, I offered my companion a reluctant smile. We’d shared a similar experience, lost someone we loved too soon. It made us kindred spirits in a way, I supposed.
“Maybe this is your chance to get to know your girl again.”
I laughed, a harsh sound that hurt as it tore out of my throat. “I’m afraid it’s too late for that, Nick. She’s already written me off.”
“Because she thinks you don’t want a future with her?”
“Right.”
“I saw the way you were looking at her at dinner last night. I guess that’s why I felt compelled to talk to you this morning.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re still in love with her. Anyone can see that.”
For a world-class poker player, I sure as hell was transparent when it came to matters of the heart. “I suspect I always will be.”
“That’s something of a life sentence, wouldn’t you say? Being in love with a woman who’s married to another man? How do you rebound from something like that?”
I pondered his question, trying to find an answer, but none came. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Seems to me the only answer to that is misery.”
Misery. That had been my constant companion ever since she told me she’d met someone else. Instead of a life sentence, it felt like more of a death sentence, because I’d been dying a little more every day since I heard her utter those life-changing words: I met someone else.
“You might be right.”
He stood, patting me on the back. “That’s a choice, you know. From where I stand, it’s not too late to do something about it. She doesn’t have a ring on her finger… yet.”
Chapter Six
Riley
I was holed up in my room, waiting until everyone else returned before I ventured back downstairs. I didn’t want to risk running into Brody until there was group of people to act as a buffer.
I smiled when my cell phone rang and Stephan’s name flashed across the screen.
“Hey, beautiful.”
Beautiful. It reminded me of what Brody had said to me that morning. “Hi, how are you?” I asked, trying to inject some enthusiasm into my voice.
“I miss you.”
This was the first time we’d talked since my arrival, so I’d been hoping to hear those words, yet as I returned the sentiment, it sounded hollow. “How was your day? Busy?”
“Allergic reaction, croup cough, pneumonia.” He chuckled. “You know, just another day at the office.”
I had been drawn to Stephan because he was strong and heroic. He saved lives, comforted worried parents, and placated scared kids who were stuck in the hospital, some for the first time. But the shine quickly wore off when I realized how blasé he was about it.
“Hmm, can’t be easy for a kid being sick right around the holidays. Do you
have many patients in the hospital right now?”
“A few, but enough about that. I want to hear how things are going for you.”
Stephan hadn’t been thrilled with the prospect of me spending five days with my ex, but I assured him it wouldn’t be a problem. “Things are right on schedule. The venue is lovely, and the staff has been very accommodating.”
“And your ex? Is he hassling you?”
“No, it’s fine.” I didn’t want him to worry about me or assume I couldn’t handle myself. “We had a talk yesterday…”
“And?”
“We covered a lot of ground.” I might have told him we’d called a truce, but after Brody’s outburst that morning at breakfast, I wasn’t so sure. “But I’m not here to mend fences with my ex-boyfriend. I’m here to ensure that Jaci and Nex have the wedding of their dreams, so that’s been my focus.”
“Have things been weird with his family?”
“No, they’ve been wonderful.” I’d missed Brody’s brothers since our breakup, so it was nice to reconnect with them. “And I’ve gotten to know Seb’s girlfriend, Skylar, a little better. She’s great. They seem really happy together.”
“Has he tried anything?”
I should have known Stephan would circle back to Brody eventually. Ever since Brody showed up at my door and found us together, Stephan had been on edge, demanding to know more about my relationship with him and whether he’d tried to reach out to me again.
“No, he hasn’t tried anything.” I was trying to put myself in Stephan’s position. If he were spending five days with his ex-girlfriend, I would be… fine with it. And I didn’t want to analyze what that said about our relationship. “Why would he? It’s over between us. It has been for a long time.”
“Yeah, but you stopped seeing him because you met me. An egomaniac like that probably thinks he can prove a point by getting you back into bed. And what better time than when he has you all to himself for five days, right?”
I wanted to remind him that he was the one who was always preaching that trust was the cornerstone of any good relationship, but I knew that would only set him off. For the most part, Stephan was even-tempered, but I had witnessed the occasional explosion that made me question whether there wasn’t another side to him. That was part of the reason I’d been taking it slow, to make sure that I wasn’t blind to his faults.
“I’m not going to bed with Brody, and quite frankly, I’m a little insulted that you would even assume that was a possibility.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, sighing. “It’s just been a long day, and I miss you. It’s bad enough that you’re there with him, but you’re going to miss out on Christmas with my family, and I was really looking forward to that.”
I was also missing out on my own family traditions, but he didn’t seem concerned about that. “That’s the nature of my business. You of all people should understand that.” We’d had to cut dates short or cancel them altogether because one of his patients needed him, and I understood completely. His work came first.
He chuckled. “Honey, I save lives. It’s a little different.”
I kept telling myself he didn’t mean to be a condescending jerk. “And weddings are a major milestone in a couple’s relationship and they want everything to be perfect. That’s why they hire me—to ensure it will be—and I take my job very seriously.”
“I just think sometimes you have to put your personal life above your career, and this was one of those times you should have. My parents were really looking forward to having you over. How will it look when I show up by myself?”
Stephan was a lot more concerned with pleasing his parents than I was. “Tell them I’m sorry I couldn’t make it this time. There’s always next year.” Assuming I can put up with you that long.
A knock at my door gave me the perfect excuse to put an end to this. “Oh, there’s someone at my door. I have to go.”
“Who is it?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t answered it yet,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Maybe you should answer it while you have me on the line, just in case.”
“In case of what?” Like I didn’t know.
“In case it’s him.”
“If it is, I’ll handle it. Call me when you get a chance.” Before he could argue, I disconnected the call, feeling a twinge of guilt as I opened the door to Skylar, Jaci, and Mac.
“Hey, we’re going to the spa. You wanna come?”
I smiled, setting my phone on the desk as I grabbed my room key and slipped it into my pocket. “That’s one of the advantages of having the place to ourselves I guess—we can get last-minute spa appointments.”
“You know it,” Mac said, winking at me. “We have the works scheduled for the big day, but we thought we’d do a massage now, to work out the kinks after skiing.”
“And a facial,” Skylar piped up as we headed down the hall toward the elevator.
“How was skiing?” I asked, punching the elevator for the ground floor. “Did everyone come back in one piece?”
Jaci laughed. “Barely. You know how competitive those guys are. It doesn’t matter that they’ve only been skiing a few times in their lives; every one of them was determined they were going to be the best.”
“Oh no,” I said, smiling at the picture they painted. I knew those guys well. It didn’t matter whether they were playing pool, swimming laps, or shooting baskets—they all wanted to win. “Did that take all the fun out of it for you?”
“Nah,” Mac said. “We just left them to it and did our own things. Boys will be boys and all that.”
“Speaking of boys, I didn’t see Cole and Zane around today. Did they go with you guys?”
“Yeah,” Mac said. “They’re definitely Steele men. I don’t know who’s more competitive: them or their dad.”
“It must have been pretty quiet around here today,” Jaci said. “I think you and Brody were the only ones who hung back. Did you guys get a chance to talk?”
“Nick was here too, I think. I passed him at breakfast this morning.” I was trying to avoid answering the question about Brody, and they all knew it. Thankfully, the elevator delivered us to the main floor, so they didn’t press it as we stepped out into the lobby.
Brody and his brothers were hanging out in the lobby, having a drink, when we crossed their path.
“Hey,” Ryker said. “You ladies off to the spa?”
“Yeah.” Mac checked her watch. “We should have just enough time for a massage and a shower before dinner.”
Ryker grinned at his wife. “Baby, you didn’t even have to leave the room for that.” He set his drink down and wiggled his fingers. “You know I give a great massage.”
Zane, who sitting beside his dad, groaned before covering his face with his hand. “Dad, come on, no one wants to hear about that.”
Mac blushed while the rest of the guys laughed. All except Brody. He was too busy staring at me. I tried to avoid eye contact, but he eventually tempted me into a brief glance. Big mistake. As his eyes travelled leisurely over my body, I knew he was thinking about the last time he’d given me one of his patented massages.
“Let’s go,” Jaci said, hooking her arm through mine. “We’ll catch up with you guys later.” When we were out of earshot and Mac and Skylar had fallen into step behind us, she whispered, “Did you see the way Brody was looking at you just now? I feel like I need a cold shower.”
You’re not the only one. “He’s just messing with me, trying to get a rise out of me.”
She giggled. “I think you’re the one who got a rise out of him.”
Blushing furiously, I pushed open the door to the spa, never more grateful for dim lighting. “I think I’d rather forget about him and focus on me for a while.”
Jaci snickered. “Yeah, good luck with that.”
***
Brody barely said a word during dinner, and I knew if I allowed this to continue, his surly mood would ruin it for everyone.
After searching the resort, I finally found him in the games room. He was watching sports highlights with a drink at his side and the lights dimmed.
“Can we talk?” I asked, coming up behind him.
He shrugged. “I’m not really in the mood, but if you feel the need to talk, I guess I’ll listen.”
I gritted my teeth and claimed the leather club chair beside him before reaching for the remote to silence the TV. “Why’re you being such an ass?”
He swirled the scotch around in his glass before downing it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t done a thing.”
“That’s just it. You’ve barely cracked a smile or said a word to anyone since we got here. You think I’m the only one who’s noticed?”
“Look,” he said, finally meeting my eyes. “You think this is easy for me? Being here with you? It’s not. But I promised my brother I’d be on my best behavior, that I wouldn’t say or do anything to ruin this for him or Jaci, and I’m trying to honor that promise. So maybe it would be best if you left now. Before we both say things we’ll regret.”
“I don’t understand you,” I said, trying to keep my temper in check. “I thought you wanted a clean slate. I know we’ll never be friends. Given our history, that’s probably too much to hope for, but what did I do to make you hate me?”
“You want to know what you did?” he asked, glaring at me. “You fell in love with someone else. How could you do that?” His voice was quiet and deadly. “You swore to me you could never love anyone else.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He was punishing me because I wasn’t willing to go on being his booty call indefinitely? “What did you expect me to do, Brody? Wait for you forever? You said yourself you didn’t know if you’d ever want to get married and have kids, so it wasn’t even a question of waiting it out until you decided the time was right. You couldn’t assure me the time would ever be right!”
I was glad we were alone, sequestered from the rest of the guests, so we could have this out once and for all.
“Yeah, and you sure as hell didn’t waste any time finding someone else, did you?”
Steele Brothers Christmas Page 5
