by Marni Mann
“Good-bye, Max.”
And then the phone went dead.
Twenty-Three
Eve
While Lorrie finished putting on my makeup and curling the ends of my hair, I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. She’d used a light gloss on my lips and darkened my eyes with a smoky shadow, keeping the rest of my face in neutral tones. My hair was down, hanging in loose waves that accented my shoulders, which were open in the strapless dress.
And the dress couldn’t have been more perfect.
It was tight. Seductive.
Extremely sensual.
It had been a month since our trip to Punta Cana, and I wanted Max to see me at my best.
Tonight, I certainly looked it.
“I think we’re about done here,” Lorrie said, pulling the glossy wand off my mouth where she’d just finished adding another layer. “Max is going to devour you when he sees you.”
She would know.
She also knew what it felt like to be devoured by him.
The scene from that evening flashed in my head. God, that had been such a hot night.
But, since our threesome, it felt like so much had changed between Max and me.
The thought of that killed me.
And the place that we were in hurt me even more.
I stood from the chair and turned around to face her. “Thank you for making me beautiful.”
She gave me a hug, squeezing for a second longer than she needed to. “When will I see you again?”
I shrugged as she released me, not knowing that answer. “Text me?”
“You can count on it,” she said with a smile before she packed up her things.
She followed me out of the house where she got into her car, and I climbed into the back of the SUV that Max had sent.
Due to his schedule being so tight, he was going straight from the plane to the party. Since James was on location, filming in Boston, I would be riding solo. And, although I was close to Scarlett and the guys, they would be busy entertaining, so I knew I’d mostly be on my own tonight. I wouldn’t even have Samantha to keep me company because Lucy had a dance recital that neither of her parents wanted her to miss.
Once I was settled in the backseat, the driver moved onto the road and headed for downtown. To keep my brain busy and off the conversation I knew I was going to have with Max, I spent the drive replying to emails and responding to the texts Trevor had sent. He was my new assistant. Someone I had stolen from Prada where he’d worked their showroom for the last two years. Since I pulled from that designer so often, I’d met Trevor when he first started working there. When I had seen his résumé come through my email, I’d immediately set up an interview and hired him on the spot.
The two of us had been logging sixteen-hour days to get him trained and introduced to all my clients and to establish a process that would work for us both. Within another week, he’d be able to do it all on his own.
I glanced up from my phone and saw that we were almost at the building, so I slipped my cell into my clutch, and I took several deep breaths. Then, I checked the top of my dress to make sure it was holding me in, and I tugged the bottom hem lower, so I wouldn’t have to do it when I got out of the car.
When we came to a stop, the driver opened my door and gave me his hand to help me out. My heels hit the ground, and I quickly scanned the entrance. Since it was just the soft opening, there wasn’t a red carpet. There also weren’t any paparazzi camped outside.
I was so relieved.
It didn’t matter how good I looked on the outside; my insides were churning. My smile was fake. Anxiety had to be showing in my eyes, so the last thing I wanted was for this feeling to be documented and shared publicly.
“I’ll escort you up to the door,” the driver said.
“No need.” I released his hand. “But thank you.”
He pointed to the side of the building. “I’ll be parked right over there.”
I nodded and made my way over to the security guard, who was standing in the doorway.
“Eve Kennedy,” I said to him. “I’m a guest of Max Graham’s.”
His eyes moved to the tablet that he held in his hand. After a second, he said to the tuxedo-clad gentleman behind him, “Please escort Miss Kennedy to the elevator.”
The man wearing the tux extended his arm, which I looped my hand through, and he brought me to the elevator inside the lobby. He didn’t come into the elevator with me. He just reached over to the control panel and pressed a button. “Have a wonderful evening.”
As the door closed, I pressed my back against the wall and gripped the silver safety bar that ran across the middle. My hands were shaking. My body was tense. The heels, which normally were comfortable, were pinching my toes. I tried so hard to control my breathing, but it was getting more difficult with each floor I passed.
All of these emotions were over seeing Max, and the moment was almost here.
When the door slid open, the waiter standing just outside said, “Welcome to The Agency LA, Miss Kennedy.”
I moved out of the elevator and took the champagne he’d handed to me, immediately bringing it up to my lips and swallowing almost half of it.
“I’m happy to give you a tour of the office—”
“I’m just going to walk around on my own,” I said, and I went toward the reception area.
“No problem.” He’d taken a few steps toward me, but he was now going back to the elevator. “Please let us know if you need anything.”
Since I already knew the layout and I assumed where most of the attendees were hanging out, I turned in the opposite direction of where they were, and I headed for the executive offices.
I just needed a second alone before I spoke to him.
A second to catch my breath.
A second to get my thoughts straight because, now that I was in his space, I felt different than when I had been in the car.
I felt more shaken, more confused.
I wasn’t sure I had ever been this raw before.
I stopped in the hallway across from the wall of windows, and I moved over to one of them. As I stood in front of it, I glanced at downtown LA, my free hand gripping the metal frame of the glass.
So many of my beginnings had happened in this town.
The first time I’d styled a client. The first showroom I’d ever been in. The first meeting I’d had with a designer. My first red-carpet premiere and awards show.
It was also where I’d been offered the opportunity of a lifetime.
“There you are,” I heard from behind me.
Max.
That voice, despite the feelings that were flowing through me, always caused such an impact. My heart raced even faster, and my limbs felt weak.
Before I had a chance to respond, he was pressing his body against my back, his face dipping into the side of my neck, his hands clamping my waist.
He was too close.
Yet he wasn’t close enough.
“God, I fucking missed you,” he breathed in my ear.
For just a second, I closed my eyes.
I let his words simmer inside me, combined with the way he was touching me and the heat that was radiating off his body.
“You look gorgeous in this dress.”
My eyes flicked open. “You haven’t even seen all of me.”
“I don’t need to. The back is enough.”
His voice deepened, almost sounding like a growl, and it caused me to turn around. Now that I was facing him, he leaned into the front of me, his face on the inside of my neck.
“Security told me you’d arrived. I’m surprised to find you back here.”
“I wanted to check out the offices,” I lied.
His lips touched my collarbone, and he kissed all around it. “I would have given you a tour.”
His mouth felt so good. Too good.
But I needed it off me.
I took a step, so my back was now pushed against the cold glass. He k
ept his hands on my waist, but at least his lips weren’t touching me.
“I’ve been here before,” I reminded him. “I don’t need another tour.”
His fingers lifted, traveling up my sides, and stopped when they reached my cheeks. Just when it looked like his mouth was about to dive toward me again, he said, “I know we need to talk. But, first, I want to taste you.”
My breath hitched in my throat. “That isn’t going to happen, Max.”
His expression changed, the wrinkles between his brows deepening, his eyes squinting.
Things had been weird between us since I called him in the middle of the night and told him I wanted more. He couldn’t possibly think we were just going to go back to the way things had been.
But, at the same time, he probably didn’t know what to expect because we’d never really fought. We hardly ever disagreed. We were both always so happy to spend time together during our short visits that we soaked up every second before we went back to missing each other.
That was the pattern of long-distance relationships.
A pattern I just couldn’t put up with anymore.
I tried to fill my lungs, squeezing in the air while trying to push out the words. “I’ve accepted the job in Italy.” But, once those words came out, I regretted them. That wasn’t what I’d planned on saying or how I wanted to start this conversation.
“Congratulations, baby. I think that’s amazing.”
“You…do?”
He nodded. “You can’t turn down an opportunity like that.”
The largest wave of emotion came over me, and I felt my body start to quiver. “No. No, no, no.” I sucked in some air, feeling it burn all the way down to the bottom of my navel. “That’s not what you were supposed to say.”
“What are you talking about?”
My hands trembled at my sides, and I clutched them together and held them against my stomach to give me the courage to tell him how I felt. “When I pictured this moment…” I shook my head as the image came into my mind. It was so clear; I wanted to close my eyes and live in the dream instead of the reality I was facing here. “I pictured you gripping the tops of my arms as hard as you could and putting your face so close to mine and telling me not to go.” The expression I saw in my head was nothing like the one he was giving me now. It was desperate, demanding, loving. But here, it was half-blank and half-bewildered. “I thought you’d tell me that you’d give me everything I wanted. That more would be possible because you were going to move to LA to be with me.”
“I won’t do that.”
“But why?” My voice cracked. “Why won’t you tell me not to go?”
“We’ve talked about this, Eve.”
“Then, tell me again.”
“I have dreams, too, you know. Things I want professionally that I haven’t achieved. I would never want you to ask me to give those up, the same way I’d never ask you to do that for me.”
I opened my mouth, and my chest shuddered. “Max, I just want you to love me.”
“Eve—”
“I want you to fight for me. I want you to hold me in your arms and tell me that leaving will be the biggest mistake of my life.”
I wanted more.
Where the hell is more?
Why isn’t he giving it to me?
“I won’t do that.”
It felt like he had just slapped me in the face.
It felt like all the blood had been drained from my body.
And, when I went to speak, a knot so large lodged into the back of my throat. “I’ll be gone for six months. I won’t be returning to the States at all during that time.”
“I’ll try to come and visit, if my schedule allows it.”
He’ll try?
I didn’t think I could feel worse.
But I was wrong.
“I can’t believe that’s all you’re going to say to me.”
He continued to stare into my eyes, his gaze intensifying, his lips finally parting. “What do you want from me?”
The pain in the back of my throat was unbearable. It was spreading into my chest and running to my fingers as I drove them into my stomach. “I think…” Oh God. The thought of where this was going, of what I had to do, of the words I needed to say—it all stabbed me as rough and as deep as his rejection. “I thought I could continue being happy with the way things were, but it’s just not enough. I can’t do this anymore. I need more, and unless you’re willing to give it to me, then…”
“What will make you happy?”
More flashed through my mind—all the time we’d spend together, the closet that we’d share, the faces that were a perfect mix of us both. But, when I blinked, it was all gone, and in its place was the loneliness that I’d been feeling since I last saw him.
“I want the next step of our relationship. I want you to move to LA and live with me. I want the commitment, the kids. I want more time, more attention.” I took a breath. “Love, Max. I want love.”
“And what if I don’t give you those things?”
“Then, we’re done.”
The muscles flexed in his jaw. His stare sharpened.
But the strongest reaction he had was his hands.
They dropped from my face, as though my skin had burned him.
“You’re sure about that?” he asked.
No.
“Yes.”
“You’re fucking positive?”
Tears began to sting my eyes. “I just don’t see any other option.” I closed my lids, hard, wishing the tears away because I couldn’t let him see those drips.
I couldn’t turn weak.
But I couldn’t tolerate the pain anymore either.
“Are you telling me, this is it?”
Air was no longer moving in and out of my lungs. It was stuck in my throat, and that was tightening to a pinhole.
“Yes.”
His arm lifted above my head, his hand landing on the glass behind me. He was caging me in, and I couldn’t move.
“I don’t believe that’s what you want.”
My heart shattered.
My stomach rolled.
“I don’t know how to make it any clearer. If you don’t want more then I don’t want to be with you anymore, Max.”
“I tried so fucking hard.” His voice had turned soft, a sound I’d never heard from him before.
“You didn’t try hard enough.”
He sighed, shaking his head, his arm leaving the window and sliding into his pocket. “This is bullshit.”
My insides were screaming.
My body felt like it was going to crumble at any second and fall into a heap on the floor.
“I feel the same way,” I whispered.
If I said another word, the tears would fall, and they wouldn’t stop. Then, he’d be able to see right through my pain, and he’d know I didn’t want the things I was saying, but I didn’t know how else to make this work.
I’m just not enough for him.
Or I’m just not the woman he wants to have everything with.
God, that thought hurt so fucking much.
I couldn’t stay here for another second. I couldn’t keep looking at that face I loved so much, at those lips I dreamed about. At our future that was as ugly as the champagne glass I had just dropped and was now shattered all over the ground.
I stepped to the side, and just as I was parallel to him, he grabbed my wrist and turned me until his lips slammed against mine. With his other hand, he cupped my face, keeping me close, deepening the kiss with every second that passed.
It felt so good.
Better than anything that had ever touched me.
And I would miss it.
But, if I stayed here any longer, I’d be tossed over his shoulder and carried into one of the offices, and then I’d be naked within minutes.
That would contradict everything I’d just said to him.
That would be a beginning when tonight had to be the end.
So,
I pulled my mouth away and slipped a few steps past him as I said, “Good-bye, Max.”
I walked down the hallway.
I didn’t look over my shoulder.
I couldn’t.
I just had to get away and not see him again, so I continued hurrying toward the elevator. When I reached it, I told the waiter who was standing there that I needed to go to the lobby.
“Just a few seconds,” he said. “It’s on its way up right now.”
I glanced behind me to make sure he hadn’t followed me. There were several people standing in the reception area, but none of them were him.
I didn’t know if I was relieved or if that upset me even more.
By the time I turned back around, the door was opening, and a few guests were walking out.
One of them was Scarlett.
Our eyes connected, and she said, “Eve, hi. I’m so happy to see you.”
The tears were on the verge of dripping, and if I stopped to talk to her, all I would do was cry. I didn’t want her to see me like that, and I didn’t want to hear her ask why I was upset.
So, I waved at her and rushed inside the empty elevator and pounded my finger against the L button.
“Eve—” Her voice was cut off as the door closed.
Once it started to move, I wrapped my arms around my stomach and squeezed, hoping the pressure would stop the churning inside my body. With my breath still lost, I tried to wheeze in some air in an attempt to fill my lungs. And, because my mind was spinning, I rested my head against the cold metal wall and tried to get my thoughts to slow.
It was too much.
All of it.
I just have to make it to the SUV, I told myself.
There, I could fall apart. There, I could shed my tears. There, I could let the last several minutes eat away at me.
There, I could process that my relationship with Max was over.
The door opened into the lobby, and I rushed through security and went out the front. I turned when I reached the side of the building. There were several SUVs parked along the curb, and I walked up to each one, looking through the window to see if my driver was behind the wheel. By the fourth car, I saw him, and I knocked on the glass.
When I heard the door unlock, I opened it and climbed into the backseat. “Please take me home. The same place where you picked me up.”
