“Maggie—”
“It’s okay, really.” She looked away and shrugged a small shoulder. “It’s no big deal.”
He couldn’t leave her like this. He sat on the bed beside her and stroked her hair. “It’s a big deal to me. There’s nothing I want more than to stay, but it wouldn’t be fair to you.”
Her eyes flashed in disbelief. “Wouldn’t be fair to me? What are you talking about?”
“In a few weeks, after my mother is…gone, I’ll go back to my job in California. And you’ll be here.”
“And never the twain shall meet?”
“It’s not what I want, but it’s reality.”
“What about what I want, right here, right now? Maybe we don’t have forever. Nobody does. If I’ve learned anything from your mother’s illness, it’s that we can’t take anything for granted. We can’t let uncertainty and fear stop us. If we only have a short time together, so be it. At least, we’ll have had that time. I won’t regret it.”
She was amazing. She was still the strong, forthright, vibrant girl he’d fallen in love with that summer.
And he had loved her. Deeply. They’d been far too young to sustain a lasting relationship. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t loved her.
I still love her. I never stopped.
TRUTH AND SOLACE
Book Three in the
Love at Solace Lake Series
By Jana Richards
Copyright © 2018 by Jana Richards. All rights reserved.
Kindle Edition
Ebook ISBN 978-0-9952791-2-4
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Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
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Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Epilogue
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Excerpt from Lies and Solace
Excerpt from Secrets and Solace
Acknowledgements
Other Books by Jana Richards
PROLOGUE
Margaret Catherine Lindquist stepped off the school bus in front of the old fishing lodge and trudged up the stairs to the front porch. She hoped Grandma hadn’t noticed the arrival of the bus because she couldn’t bear one of her interrogations. Not today.
She made it to her room undetected. After quietly closing the door and locking it, she leaned her forehead against the solid wood and allowed the tears she’d been holding back to fall. Staggering to her bed, she curled into a fetal position and clutched Mr. Jingles, the Teddy Bear she’d owned for every one of her fourteen years.
It wasn’t fair. All summer, while Luke had worked at the fishing lodge for her grandfather, they’d been close. He said he didn’t care that she was four years younger. He’d told her all his dreams for the future, kissed her like she meant something to him, made love to her in their secret place in the forest. Though it had been the first time for them both, they’d soon overcome their initial awkwardness and learned where to touch and how to please. It had been a magical summer.
But now it was September, and the magic was over.
Maggie was back in school, and she’d heard Luke was working at a restaurant in Minnewasta. A love of cooking was something they shared. Someday, he’d promised, he’d own a restaurant and she’d be his head chef.
The tears flowed harder. He’d lied to her about that, too.
When she’d received a crumpled note from Luke earlier in the day, delivered by one of his bosses’ kids, relief and excitement had overwhelmed her. He asked her to meet him at the football field behind the bleachers during afternoon recess. As soon as the bell rang, Maggie ran across the school yard. She hadn’t seen Luke in almost two weeks, not since Grampa Bill had caught them together in one of the outbuildings. He’d fired Luke on the spot and told him to get off his property. It had been agony not to see him. And she’d been afraid he blamed her for losing his job and getting him into trouble.
When she arrived at the bleachers, Luke was there. But he wasn’t alone. He was locked in a passionate embrace with Cheryl Bradley. Cheryl was as mean as she was pretty. Maggie had confided to Luke about how Cheryl’s nasty comments about her dead parents had hurt her. The shock and betrayal of seeing him kissing her made Maggie sick to her stomach.
“Luke! What are you doing?”
He’d casually hung his arm around Cheryl’s shoulders, his eyes cold and hard as he stared at her. An involuntary shiver crawled up Maggie’s spine. Luke had never looked at her with such disdain before. Such disgust.
“I’m leaving town,” he said flatly. “Don’t do something stupid like try to follow me.”
“You’re leaving? Where are you going?”
“Someplace far from here.”
“But you’ll be back, right? You said you’d wait for me, and we’d go away together. You said—”
“Forget it! You’re a kid. I don’t want you! Leave me the hell alone. Go home and play with your dolls.”
With that, he’d grabbed Cheryl’s hand and pulled her away. Cheryl glanced over her shoulder with a smirk full of smug triumph.
The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur. She tuned out Ms. Carter in math class last period, too shocked to make sense of anything she said. Now, all she could do was cry.
She must have done something to make Luke fall out of love with her.
She’d go crazy if she didn’t know. She had to find out what went wrong. She had to talk to Luke and make him explain. Maybe she could make things right and he’d take her with him.
Maggie clamoured off the bed and pulled a beat-up suitcase from underneath. She could hitchhike back to town and go to Abby’s house. Abby was Luke’s mother, the only person who’d known about their relationship. Abby had been her mother’s best friend, and Maggie trusted her.
She pulled her waist-length hair into a low ponytail and haphazardly stuffed her things into the suitcase. Praying her most prized possession survived the journey, she hastily folded the delicate crystal unicorn Luke had given her inside a couple of T-shirts and stuck it amongst some other clothes where she hoped it would be protected. She hesitated over Mr. Jingles and then, with one last hug, she set the Teddy bear back on her bed. Time to put away childish things.
If she hurried, she could catch Luke before he left town. It didn’t matter that he’d broken her heart when she’d found him kissing Cheryl. It had to be a mistake. Maybe if she’d been able to tell him how much she loved him, he wouldn’t have done this. She wished it wasn’t so hard for her to say the words, but if she caught up with him, she could tell him now. She’d make him see they belonge
d together.
A little voice in her head screamed she was wrong, that he’d betrayed her and taken advantage of her innocence. No eighteen-year-old boy on the brink of manhood would want a girl of fourteen. And if he really loved her, he wouldn’t be kissing Cheryl Bradley. She shoved the voice away and snapped the suitcase shut.
“Maggie, open up!” The doorknob rattled as her grandmother tried to open it.
“Go away!”
“Maggie, please. I know you’re upset, but letting that boy go is for the best. Your mother would want what was best for you.”
Rage poured through Maggie at Grandma Dorothy’s words. If Grampa hadn’t fired Luke and forbade him from seeing her again, he wouldn’t be leaving her now. “How do you know what my mother would have wanted? She’s been dead for twelve years!”
“Margaret Catherine! Watch your smart mouth!”
The doorknob rattled again and then gave way as Grandma pushed the door open. Like everything else in the fishing lodge, the lock was old and broken.
She eyed the suitcase. “What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving. I can’t stay in this place a minute longer. I hate it, and I hate you!”
Grandma pointed her finger at her. “You’re exactly like your mother! Headstrong and stubborn. And look where it got her! If she’d listened to me, he wouldn’t have killed her!”
“He didn’t kill her! It was an accident. Abby said—”
“Oh, Abby said!” Grandma Dorothy spat the words.
“She said it had to be an accident. Daddy loved Mommy too much to ever hurt her!”
“How does Abby know anything? Was she there? Did she see your father and mother out on the lake that day? If she had, she would have seen how he grabbed that oar and split open her head.”
The death of her parents – murder/suicide, the police said – occurred a few months past her first birthday. Maggie had imagined the horrible image in her dreams a thousand times, but this was too much. She covered her ears with her hands and turned away. “I don’t have to listen to you anymore. I won’t!”
Grandma grabbed her arm and twisted her around. “You have to listen before you make a mistake as big as the one your mother made. I know you’re going to try meeting up with that boy, but he’s gone, and he won’t be coming back. Good riddance!”
“Luke will wait for me. I know he will. He loves me and I love him. You can’t keep us apart.”
“I won’t let you make the same mistake Miranda made. She tried to run away from her problems but in the end, they killed her. I won’t let that happen to you.”
Tears of anger and frustration and grief ran down Maggie’s face. “No! Let me go!”
“You think he loves you? He was only using you.” Grandma tightened her hold. “You’re lucky he’s gone. He would have ruined your life like that man ruined your mother’s life.”
Maggie struggled to free herself from Grandma’s strong grip. She beat her fist against her shoulder. “Let me go! Luke loves me. I know he does. I hate you! I hate you!”
“You are so like your father, it breaks my heart!”
Grandma Dorothy’s grip on her arm abruptly loosened, and she staggered backward. Her face turned a funny greyish color and she clutched her stomach as if she was going to be sick. “She wouldn’t listen to me. She wouldn’t give him up.”
Maggie seized the opportunity to grab her suitcase from the bed. “I’m leaving and I’m never coming back!”
Grandma clutched the bedpost. “She should have listened to me. She never listened to me. Oh, Miranda, my darling girl. Why didn’t you listen to me?”
She slumped to the floor.
Maggie stared at her, fear making her immobile. “Grandma? Grandma, what’s wrong?”
Grandma Dorothy’s breath came out in ragged puffs. She struggled to lift her head. “I’m begging you, Maggie, don’t run away. Don’t make the same mistakes she did.”
Maggie dropped her suitcase and slid to her knees beside her grandmother. Anger and love mixed with fear as she reached out her hand to touch her arm. “What’s wrong? Should I get Grampa?”
Grandma Dorothy grabbed a handful of Maggie’s T-shirt, her eyes pleading. “He was no good for her, but she said she loved him. She couldn’t give him up. And it killed her.”
“Who couldn’t she give up, Grandma? Who did she love?”
“Your father.”
“I don’t understand, Grandma. If she loved Daddy, why did she run away? Why would he kill her?”
Grandma Dorothy’s body went limp. Maggie stared at her, unable to move. She knew Grandma had a heart condition. She took some kind of pills for it. She shouldn’t have argued with her, upset her like that. This was her fault.
Oh, my God. I’ve killed her.
She uncurled Grandma Dorothy’s fingers from her T-shirt and stumbled away from her body. Tears of guilt crashed down her cheeks as she ran out of the lodge and raced to Grampa’s shed.
You’re exactly like your mother. The words taunted her, even as they confused her.
Nothing Grandma said made any sense. What had she meant? What had her mother done?
Anger welled up in her chest. This was all Luke’s fault. He’d abandoned her when she needed him most, and she never wanted to see him again.
CHAPTER ONE
Ten Years Later
Dammit, she knew better. Some chef she was.
Water boiled bubbled over the top of the pot and flooded her new stove’s pristine surface. The pot was too small for the amount of pasta Maggie wanted to cook, but the bigger pot was already in use and she figured she could get away with it, just this once.
Wrong again, Maggie.
She turned off the gas burner and yelped in pain as water splashed up and scalded her bare arm.
Damn, that hurt, but it served her right for being so careless and for thinking she could cut corners in the kitchen. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Suddenly, a man was standing next to her at the stove, sliding a heavy lid over the pot and pushing it onto a back burner. She’d been too distracted to notice his arrival in her kitchen, but now as she looked up into his face, her heart jumped into her throat. Though she hadn’t seen him in ten years, she remembered every angle of his face, every golden speckle in his grey-green eyes, every wave in his dark hair.
“Luke.”
The old resentment burned in her chest, surprising her with its intensity. She thought she’d put it behind her. Put him behind her.
Without a word, he steered her to the sink, turned on the cold water and pushed her arm beneath the stream. The water immediately soothed her scalded skin.
“Keep your arm under the cold water till the pain goes away.”
“What the hell are you doing here?”
The corner of his mouth turned up in the way her teenage self had always found sexy. Now, as a grown woman, it only made her angry.
“I’m here to apply for the job, but I wanted to talk to you first.”
Maggie’s mind went blank. She couldn’t think with him looking at her, touching her. She could barely breathe. She hated that he still had that affect on her. “What job?”
“The job as your hotel and restaurant manager.”
Her sister Harper and brother-in-law Ethan had been searching for someone experienced in the hotel business to handle the job. With the renovation of the fishing lodge Maggie and her sisters had inherited from their grandfather nearing completion, they needed help running the new and improved Solace Lake Lodge. Years ago, Luke’s mother Abby told her he’d gone out to California to work in a hotel, but Maggie didn’t know the specifics. She had avoided talking to Abby since she moved back to the lodge.
“I’ve been working at a boutique hotel in the Napa Valley for the last eight years. I manage the hotel and restaurant, and I oversee the wines we serve. I’ve taken special training in pairing California wines with food.”
Maggie turned off the water and dried her arm on her apron. As soon as her skin dried
the burn stung again, but she ignored it. “That’s a very nice resume, but what I want to know is why you’re back in Minnesota. Tired of all the sunshine, are you?”
“My mother is sick. Her doctors say she’d dying.”
She stared at him in shock as guilt washed over her like a tsunami. Abby had asked to see her. Her sisters had visited and told her Abby asked for her repeatedly. But she’d been too childishly angry to go. After her grandmother’s death, Abby had been her friend and confidant. She’d helped her through sadness and loneliness, and moments when Harper forgot she was her sister and not her mother. Abby had been her only connection to Luke and even though she resented the way he’d left her, she still craved news of him.
But then Abby married Reese and moved away. The abandonment had devastated Maggie. Someone was always leaving her.
And now she was losing Abby again.
“She’s sick? How long…?” She couldn’t finish the question.
“When the doctors discovered breast cancer, she had a double mastectomy, but it had already spread to her lungs. Her doctors say she’s terminal, that she has less than six months, but I don’t accept that diagnosis.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve done some research, talked to cancer specialists. I’m trying to get her to continue treatment with a new doctor. I need to be here to help her. That’s why I’m applying for this job on a temporary basis.”
“Temporary?”
“I’ve taken a leave of absence, but I can’t afford not to work. I’ll go back to California when…when Mom has stabilized.”
“But what about Reese? He’s devoted to Abby. Surely, he’s done everything possible for her.”
“Reese is a good man, but he’s accepted what the doctors here have told them about my mother’s health. I think we need another opinion from someone who isn’t going to give up on her.”
Luke turned away on a deep breath. His pain reached out and touched her like a living thing. He’d always been close to his mother. Years ago, Abby had told her how Luke had been conceived during a brief affair she’d had in her twenties. She’d said she couldn’t regret the affair because it had given her Luke, and he was the light of her life. It had been the two of them against the world—three counting her mother. They’d lived with Abby’s widowed mother Phyllis in the small town of Minnewasta all through Luke’s childhood and adolescence.
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