"She might know that, but it doesn't mean she has to like it."
Footsteps sounded behind them, and Karik turned to see Atarin striding toward them. He stopped a few feet away. "We've rested long enough. We need to get moving."
Karik pointed to the fire in the distance. "Do you think that's Deril?"
"I do, and that's why we should get moving."
"You don't fear him, do you?" Meran asked.
"No, but I think it's prudent to avoid unnecessary conflict."
"Can't argue with that," Meran said.
Atarin gave him a sharp look, as if he wanted to ask what topics Meran did deem worthy of argument. But then Atarin trudged away, looking cold and weary. Karik understood those feelings well enough. He was weary himself, and not just physically.
* * * * *
Kadin hadn't produced anything more than a basic Sunlord's weave. At this point, he no longer cared. He spent his two hours fueling the sun because it was expected of him. It felt like a different form of slavery. He would never be free of this responsibility.
At first, he'd thought becoming a Sunlord would open up a new world of possibilities.
What a bunch of lies, he told himself, kicking at the snow.
They were nearing the city of Talindel, and Kadin longed for a chance to rest in a bed again. Life at his farm and life on the plantation had not taught him just how excruciating it was to live on the road, traveling through brutal conditions.
The party crested a hill overlooking Talindel. They'd chosen Talindel instead of Anindel because Deril suspected Atarin would take the route farther to the east. It was best if they avoided Atarin whenever possible.
Now Kadin wondered if Anindel would have been a better choice.
Talindel was on fire.
"What in the core happened here?" Faina asked.
Deril peered at the burning city. "Must be those new Fireweavers."
"Should we go down into the city?" Rella asked.
"We could survive without going there," Deril said. "We've been able to hunt enough food." He shook his head. "But I feel like I have to do something to help."
"This isn't our fight," Talin said, and Kae nodded her agreement. She had been quiet lately, and Kadin couldn't blame her. Her husband had died to protect him. Her sister was Atarin's captive.
Deril glared at Talin. "I don't care. We have to see what we can do."
"And I'd like to sleep in a bed, under the warmth of Sunlamps," Kadin said.
Rella smiled weakly. "I can't argue with that."
"I'm not sure we'll find any beds here," Deril said.
That was probably true, though Kadin hated to admit it. Maybe they should keep away from the city. It seemed a lot smarter than entering a burning city. Of course, Deril was the same man who'd led a mission to infiltrate Atarin's palace, so Kadin knew there were no limits to his stupidity.
"A few of us should head into the city," Deril said. "Father, you and Kadin should stay here, where it's safer. Rella and Faina, could you two stay to protect them?"
"I want to help in the city," Rella said.
"I'll stay here," Faina said, and Kadin felt as if a weight had left his chest. He hated worrying about her all the time. Though he had a new family now, she was still the only person he truly cared about. Maybe he'd learn to love Deril and the Sunlord. In time.
"I'll stay with them as well," Davin said.
Deril bit his lower lip. "I'd feel more comfortable if you stayed, Rella, but I can see that you're determined to go." He started walking. "Follow me."
Kae joined those entering the city. She didn't look happy about it, but Kadin doubted anything would make her happy right now.
He watched them go and didn't feel anything. A general feeling of numbness filled him. He didn't care about anything except Faina, and he still thought she'd be better off without him. He'd fulfilled his purpose. Why did he have to prolong his torture?
"We should try the Sunlord's weave again," said the Sunlord.
"You can do it," Kadin said, "but I'm tired of it. It won't accomplish anything."
"I'm your father, and I command you to do it."
"Or what?" Kadin said. "You'll beat me? Kill me? Look at me with a disappointed expression? I really don't care. I've had enough of this life."
The back of the Sunlord's hand hit him so quickly he didn't have time to react.
"You will obey me," said the Sunlord. "The fate of the world depends on it. I don't care how miserable you feel. I don't care if you're tired, if you hate me. None of that matters. All that matters is keeping the sun alive, keeping humanity alive."
Kadin didn't meet his gaze. "And why does that matter so much? You may not have noticed, but humanity is terrible. We do cruel things to each other. We kill each other. We fight over petty differences. Tell me: what about humanity is worth saving?"
"What about love?" asked the Sunlord. "Family? Friendship? Surely you've experienced some of these. I won't disagree with you. We do terrible things to each other, but we balance that out with a great deal of good. Are you so selfish that you'd throw that all away?"
Kadin didn't know how to respond. Anything he said would only make the Sunlord even angrier. Kadin wished he could return to the prison in Hyrandel, wished he could change his mind. Yes, Halarik would have returned, but at least Kadin would have been dead.
His misery would have been over.
"I see something," Faina said, disturbing his thoughts. She pointed over the horizon, and he peered in that direction to see four figures marching toward them.
Davin stepped to the edge of their campsite. "Don't come any closer."
The people ignored him.
Flames erupted all around them. Kadin wove Yellow and Blue, creating a shield moments before the flames would have incinerated him. Around him, the others were shouting in panic, but they appeared to have raised their shields in time.
Their attackers continued marching. They did not communicate, but they looked as if they had a purpose. Kadin shuddered. Were these the Turned?
"I'll hold the shield around us," Faina said. "The three of you need to weave Red and Orange."
Kadin felt the strength of her weave and knew the shield would hold awhile. Together with Davin and the Sunlord, he wove Red and Orange. Fire appeared in front of them, and they directed it toward their attackers. The Turned didn't appear to have shields of their own. As soon as the flames neared them, they turned and fled.
Kadin, Davin, and the Sunlord tried to send the flames after the Turned, but their weave could only extend so far before it died.
"Let's hope that's the last time they bother us," Davin said.
Kadin had the feeling it wouldn't be.
* * * * *
Rella followed Deril, Talin, and Kae toward the edge of Talindel. Much of the city was burning. Screams came from all around. People sprinted through the streets, eyes wide with fear. Had these Turned done all this? It was the only explanation she had.
They didn't encounter any Turned at the edge of the city. A Sun Guard was running by them, intent on something in the distance.
"What is happening?" Deril asked the man.
The Sun Guard didn't stop. "Get out of the city while you can. The Turned are burning everything."
The man continued running, eventually vanishing from sight. Rella, Deril, Talin, and Kae stood at the edge of the chaos, watching the city burn. What could they do here? Talin was right. This was not their fight.
"We should go back," Rella said.
"No, we have to do something," Deril said, his expression grim.
Rella pointed toward the burning, the chaos. "What do you think we can do here? There are obviously too many Turned for us to handle. We'll only get ourselves killed."
"She speaks the truth," Talin said.
Deril's gaze was stern. "I have to try to help, however I can."
"You've done enough to help the world," Talin said. "It's time to help yourself."
Rella ca
ught movement up ahead. Nearly a dozen people approached, but there was something wrong about them. They were dressed in the shabby furs of the Lightless, but they were setting everything on fire. Men, women, and children all ran from them, screaming.
"We can't stay here," Rella said, tugging at Deril's arm.
Deril and Talin watched the Turned approach.
"There are too many of them," Talin said. "This city belongs to them now."
The four of them wove Yellow/Blue shields and took off running. Flames came to life around them but couldn't penetrate their shields. Rella glanced back. The Turned pursued them in unison, as if controlled by one person. Rella's chest tightened with panic.
Soon Rella's party reached the edge of the city, where they ascended the hill leading back toward the place they'd left the others. The Turned continued to pursue them, leaving the burning city behind. Rella couldn't forget those images, though. Whenever she looked back at the city, she felt as if something were twisting inside her.
Halarik had to be behind this. Only he would do something so evil.
But how could they keep more cities from burning like this?
As they neared the top of the hill, the Turned stopped pursuing them. It was a sudden change, as if the entity controlling their minds decided the city was more important. As one, the Turned made their way back toward the city, ready to cause more destruction.
At the top of the hill, Rella found the others waiting for them.
"Good, you're safe," said the Sunlord as he embraced Deril.
Deril sighed deeply. "There was nothing we could do there."
"We should get moving," Talin said.
Though Rella wished they could find a chance to rest, she couldn't argue with him. She shuddered to think that the entire nation of Tarileth might fall prey to the Turned. Was there no escape, no solution?
Chapter 10: Home
Kadin and the rest of his party traveled north, staying off the main roads, where the Turned were more likely to show up. When they reached Illindel, they didn't find it burning, but anxiety hung in the air. They found a Sun Guard toward the edge of the city.
"Are there any Turned here?" Deril asked her.
"No. The plague hasn't reached this far north."
"Good," Rella said. "We'll finally have a chance to rest."
Kadin felt a sudden weight on his chest as he entered the city he'd once called home. Though he'd lived on his father's farm, he'd also spent a lot of time in the city itself. So had Faina. She looked pale as they entered the city.
"I don't like being here," she said.
Kadin walked a few steps. "Neither do I."
He thought back to how he'd tortured his father to death. In that moment, he'd been lost in his anger, feeling that his father deserved it. Now he wasn't so sure. His father had been a cruel man. He'd tried to kill Kadin. But Kadin shouldn't have done what he did.
Then he thought of how he'd burned Andric to death. Their owner had been another cruel man, but Kadin still shouldn't have done it. Those were stains upon his conscience that he could never wipe away. It didn't matter if his skill as a Sunlord saved the world.
He was still a terrible person.
He remembered the way Tyrine had looked at him after he'd killed his father. Nothing had ever felt worse than that. Tyrine was the one person from his old life that he wished he could have back. There were so many things he wanted to change.
But he'd made his decisions, and he had to live with them. As much as he wanted to end his life, he was terrified to do so. He'd done terrible things, and he still believed that evil people suffered for all eternity in the Core. Could he ever be forgiven for what he'd done?
They made their way through the city, finding an inn near the same market district where Kadin and Faina had been sold into slavery. To Kadin's surprise, no one recognized the Sunlord. Of course, they all looked like weary travelers. It was better that way.
Talin had enough gold to find them warm and clean rooms. The beds were soft, softer than any bed Kadin had ever slept in. After so long on the road, he thought he'd fall asleep in seconds, but instead he stayed awake, lost in troubled thoughts. He was close to his old home, and he felt he needed to return there, felt that maybe he could somehow atone for his sins.
Everyone else was asleep. He crawled out from under his covers and crept silently across the room. At the door, he glanced back. No one had stirred.
He closed the stone door softly, then made his way out of the inn and through the streets of Illindel. Soon he reached the edge of the city, where the warmth of the Sunlamps faded. There were still a few Sunlamps along the main road. At least it wasn't all that cold. Only a light layer of snow covered the ground, and much of it had melted.
He followed the road west toward his old home, remembering all too well his last two journeys along this road. Was he foolish for returning? Did his family even live there anymore? With his father dead, they might be dead as well. For all his faults, he had provided for them.
Could they run the farm without him?
Kadin reached the familiar stone fence at the edge of their farm, then stepped through the open gate. The stone home stood in the distance. A lone sunlamp glowed in one of the windows.
His chest felt tight as he approached. He couldn't face them after what he'd done.
For a moment, he was about to turn around, but then he took a few deep breaths. He had to find out how Tyrine was doing. Once he knew, he could go on with his life. Perhaps he could even take her with him to the Temple of Aralea. Surely he could find her a job as a servant.
He pushed through the cracked stone door, entering the small house. He'd forgotten just how cramped it felt in there. In the center of the room, his mother sat alone in a chair.
She looked up. "Kadin, what are you doing here?"
He was surprised to hear no condemnation in her voice. "I'm not really sure."
"Have you come to beg forgiveness?"
"I can't forgive myself," Kadin said. "Why should you forgive me?"
She looked up at him. There were tears in her eyes. "I'm relieved to hear that you regret what you did. Sarin did deserve it, but you shouldn't have been the one to do it."
Kadin shuffled closer. "I know. I hate myself."
"Don't say that, Kadin." She motioned for him to take a seat. "You are not a terrible person. Sarin left you with these emotional scars. You are who you are because of him."
Kadin sat down. "I know who my real father is now."
"I should have told you. It would have made your life very different."
Kadin wanted to feel angry, but his mother looked defeated. Instead, he reached out a hand to pat her on the arm, hoping it was a comforting gesture. "My life has changed for the better. I'm a Sunlord now, like my father."
"I'm glad to hear that, Kadin."
Kadin wished he could believe his life truly was better. Some parts of it had improved. Others had become worse. He no longer lived with the abuses of his father, but now he had so many responsibilities. Deep down, he knew Deril was right, knew the Sunlord was right. Kadin spent too much time lost in his own selfish misery. He had to put those feelings aside and do what was right for the world.
"Where's Tyrine?" he asked. "And Ralin?"
It took his mother a long time to respond. At last, she said, "Ralin is dead. He was killed by the Turned, and . . . Tyrine is one of them now."
"No! That can't be true!" Kadin broke down in tears. "Not Tyrine." He thought for a moment. "But the plague hasn't reached this far north yet. A Sun Guard told us that much. How can this be true?
His mother reached forward, putting her hands on his arms. It was a more reassuring gesture than any she'd ever given him. "I'm afraid it is true. We were in Talindel at the time. I grew up there, after all. I was hoping to get some help from an old friend who has some money, but then the plague hit. I barely made it out alive. I don't know where Tyrine has gone. I can only hope she's still alive, that they'll find a cure
for this plague."
"I'll find a cure," Kadin said, surprising himself with his boldness. "I promise."
"How?"
"I'm going to the Temple of Aralea. I'll be a powerful man soon. I can't waste the gift life has given me. I will find a way to bring Tyrine back to you. To us."
She smiled weakly. "I believe you, Kadin."
He got to his feet even though he didn't feel like leaving. "I have to go. I have to return to my new family. I have duties to perform."
And he knew he was telling the truth. This visit to his mother had changed his outlook on everything. He had something worth living for now, and he was glad to know that his mother had forgiven him, even if she'd never stated it outright.
"I've always loved you," she said. "I was simply too afraid to admit it."
They shared a quick hug, a gesture they'd never done before. Kadin stared at his mother, unable to reconcile the woman he saw now with the one he'd known his entire life. Had the death of her husband allowed her to cast off the chains binding her?
"Please find a way to bring Tyrine back," she said. Briefly, she avoided Kadin's gaze, but then she looked him in the eyes.
"I will." Kadin walked out of the house. Though he and his mother had shared a few tender moments, he knew he could never call this place home again, not after what he'd done here. He had a new home now, a better home.
In brighter spirits, he returned to the inn. When he entered his room, he found Deril sitting in a chair near the door.
"You visited your old family," Deril said. "Didn't you?"
Kadin nodded, tears in his eyes.
Deril frowned with concern. "What's wrong?"
"My sister is one of the Turned. She's the only one I ever liked." He sank heavily against the stone wall. "I promised my mother I would find a cure."
"We will find a cure," Deril said. "This plague keeps spreading north. Eventually, it will reach Hyrandel. We can't let Hyrandel go the way of Talindel."
"But how will that help save my sister?"
"There's a lot of information in the temple library," Deril said. "I'll have to find something. I won't let you fail your sister."
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