As Jacob stepped to the microphone, Linnea’s heart started beating faster. No, this couldn’t be what she thought it was. Not tonight, of all nights.
Jacob looked nervous as he smiled. “A year ago, I met someone right here after a rodeo. We had our first dance here, and I think I fell in love with her that night.”
A murmur of appreciation went through the crowd, but Linnea felt as if the world were caving in on her. As though she were watching a train wreck happen in slow motion, she couldn’t force herself to look away let alone get out of the building.
The young cowboy pulled a ring from his pocket and extended it. “Chelsea Billings, will you marry me?”
Dizziness slammed into Linnea with such force that she had to grab the edge of the bar to keep from tipping over. Air, she needed air. She somehow stayed on her feet as she pushed her way through the cheering crowd toward the door. By the time she stumbled outside, she felt as if her lungs had shrunk to the size of lima beans. Memories assailed her as she made her way through the rows of vehicles to Owen’s truck. She gripped the side of the bed and sucked in deep gulps of air.
She didn’t want to let Michael ruin her belief in good people, in the idea that true love was possible, but he’d certainly damaged them. As she’d watched that young cowboy propose, she couldn’t help wondering if he had some secret life, if the words coming out of his mouth were lies.
The moment tears pooled in her eyes, anger welled in her. The need to scream nearly consumed her. Instead, she slapped the side of the truck, imagining it was Michael and his lies. As she let some of the anger out, she hit the truck again, and again. She didn’t know if she could ever stop.
* * *
OWEN WAS ABOUT to get the phone number of his latest dancing partner when he felt a peck on his shoulder. He turned to find his sister looking up at him.
“Have you seen Linnea?” Chloe asked.
He scanned the crowd. “Last I saw her, she was headed for the bar.”
“I can’t find her anywhere.”
“Maybe she went to the bathroom.”
“Nope. I looked.”
“Well, unless she hitchhiked back to the ranch, she’s got to be here somewhere.” There had been something he couldn’t identify in her eyes earlier, but he’d chalked it up to her being tired, or perhaps not in a party mood. It certainly couldn’t have been what his first impression had told him, that she’d been seeing him as something more than her best friend’s brother. They’d known each other too long, hung out too many times, and women who’d just been through what she had didn’t get over it that quickly.
As Chloe moved away to look for Linnea in another corner of the building, his gaze settled on the newly engaged couple.
“Damn it,” he said. That’s why they couldn’t find Linnea. Probably the last thing she’d wanted to watch was a couple starting toward their happily ever after when hers had been blown to bits around her.
He glanced back to where he’d left his dancing partner standing to find she’d already found another guy to pay attention to her. Fine by Owen. He made for the exit, figuring that if Linnea was nowhere to be found inside, logic had to point the way outside.
She wasn’t immediately visible when he stepped out the door, but he heard her before he saw her. By the way she was smacking her hand against the side of his truck, she was definitely upset. A strange knot formed in his stomach as he hoped he wasn’t part of the reason for her meltdown.
He approached her slowly, trying to figure out how to handle the situation. He’d never been good with women who were upset and usually made himself scarce. But she looked so alone, so in pain that he couldn’t do that.
“Lin?”
She spun toward him, and the tears streaking down her face made him ache for her and get angry all at the same time.
He took another step toward her. “He’s not worth you tearing yourself up like this.”
“I know that.” She turned to face the side of the truck again, gripping the edge of the metal with such force that he wondered if she was imagining it was Michael’s neck. “I want all this rage and pain to go away, but...it sometimes feels like it’s getting worse instead of better.” Her voice broke, and she sniffed against a fresh wave of tears. “I don’t understand what I did to deserve this.”
Those words carved straight through his heart. How many times had he wondered the same thing?
Owen closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. He knew nothing he said would make her feel better, but he had to try something. Suffering alone was the worst feeling a person could have. He knew that from experience. “You didn’t do anything to deserve what that bastard did to you. He’s just a pitiful excuse for a human being.”
He could tell she was trying to hold her tears inside, but the pain wouldn’t be contained. Her stiff posture relaxed some as she leaned against his chest and cried. Without thinking, he lifted his hand and smoothed her long red hair and cradled her closer. If she needed to cry all night to get that piece of garbage out of her system, he’d let her. Because what Linnea needed now more than anything was a friend, one around whom she didn’t have to pretend she was okay.
He knew Chloe would do anything in the world for Linnea, but he’d also seen the look on Linnea’s face when she watched Chloe with Wyatt. It was one part yearning, one part sadness, but another part happiness for the newlyweds. He didn’t have to hear Linnea’s thoughts to know she didn’t want to do anything to dampen their joy of starting a life together.
They stood there in the parking lot for a long time, but eventually Linnea’s sobs grew quiet. When she finally pulled away, he didn’t release her. Despite her obvious sorrow, he realized he hadn’t minded holding her close. It had felt good to offer her comfort, better still that she’d accepted it and let him gather her to him. When she looked up, it hit him how pretty she was even with tearstained cheeks.
Oh, hell no. He couldn’t think of Linnea in that way, not with his track record. Especially not when she was still hurting over Michael. He reminded himself that Linnea needed a friend, not another guy trying to make a move on her when she was vulnerable.
But what had been that look she’d given him when they’d been dancing? He’d seen enough women look at him with interest to know it when he saw it.
No, he was wrong. Even if she had seen him that way for a moment, it was because her emotions were all messed up. She was feeling unloved and unwanted, and she was confusing his kindness for something else. And then he’d come out here and held her in his arms.
He told himself to step away, to break contact, but he found himself fighting the urge to let his fingers drift across her cheeks to wipe away her tears, to see if her skin was as soft as it looked in the faint light. Before he lost his grip on his willpower, he released her arms and took a couple of steps back from her.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m done in for the night,” he said.
She looked at him with a questioning expression for a moment before she nodded. “Yeah, I’m pretty tired. Making a fool of yourself can do that.”
“You didn’t make a fool of yourself. Sometimes life just sucks and you have to punch a truck.”
The faint smile that tugged at her lips elicited a smile from him, as well. And a strange, tingling warmth sprang to life in his chest. He’d made lots of women smile in his life, but there was something about helping Linnea smile even the faintest bit in the midst of her pain that put all those other smiles to shame. Before he could do something stupid like let those thoughts tumble out of his mouth, he opened his truck door and motioned for Linnea to climb in.
Quiet settled between them as he drove them back to the ranch. When he parked in his usual spot between the house and barn a few minutes later, he cut the engine and reached for his door.
“Owen.”
The sound of his name and the feel of Linnea’s small hand grasping his stopped him. When he glanced across the cab at her, Lin looked uncharacterist
ically shy. But there was a shine in her eyes that had him squeezing her hand and enjoying the contact more than he should.
“Thank you for letting me blubber all over you back there.”
“Eh, this shirt was ready for the laundry anyway.”
She smiled again, a little more than earlier. “I mean it. I keep thinking that I can’t possibly cry any more over this whole mess, and then I go and do it again.”
“Maybe tonight was the last time.”
“I hope so. You were right when you said he’s not worth my tears.”
“You deserve someone who is honest and will treat you right.”
“Like Wyatt does for Chloe?”
“Yeah. Of course, he knows if he doesn’t, he has to answer to my dad, Garrett and me.” He ran his thumb across the top of her hand, surprising himself and, judging by her expression, Linnea, as well. “We’d do the same for you in a heartbeat, you know that.”
She broke eye contact and nodded. “I do, and I appreciate it. But you all have already done enough by giving me a place to go while I get my head on straight, and by getting me out away from my moping. I need to deal with the rest on my own.”
He’d halfway hoped she’d changed her mind so he could go give Michael Benson the lesson he deserved. Owen wasn’t normally violent, but just the thought of what Michael had done to Lin made him want to go caveman all over the bastard.
The silence that followed grew a little awkward, and Owen knew he should release Linnea’s hand. The fact that he didn’t want to was what finally forced him to let go.
Chapter Five
The next morning, though Linnea was awake when she heard the Brody men begin to stir, she stayed in her room. The moment her eyes had opened to a new day, everything that had happened the night before came rushing back. Not only had she bawled like a baby all over Owen’s shirt, but she was afraid her odd feelings toward him had shown when she met his eyes on the dance floor, and maybe again in the truck when they returned to the ranch.
The fact that he’d held her hand, even caressed it, didn’t do anything to clarify the situation. If anything, it made her even more confused. How was it possible to feel an attraction toward someone else so soon after the break with Michael, the man she’d been about to marry? And the fact that she’d known Owen for years with no similar feelings just made her feel even more as though she was losing her mind.
She waited until she heard the horses ride out for another day of work on the ranch before she left the bedroom and got ready for...whatever she was going to do to fill her day. She needed to return to Dallas, but that little voice of doubt kept whispering that she wasn’t ready to face that just yet. The ranch was so peaceful, and she knew that life would turn back into a whirlwind if she went home. She’d have to face her family and their questions and looks of concern.
After eating a donut, she wandered out to the front porch. She bent to scratch Roscoe and Cletus between their ears, then descended the porch steps and headed toward the barn. Though the horses scared her a little, she liked visiting with them when they were safely on the other side of their stall doors.
She made the turn into the barn and slammed right into Owen. He reached for her with one hand, but when the horse he’d been leading out reared, he had to focus all his attention on the animal. Off balance, Linnea tripped and fell backward onto her butt. But the surprise of falling was eclipsed by the sight of the horse’s hooves pawing the air above her.
“Whoa, girl,” Owen said as he urged the horse back down onto all fours and backed the mare farther into the barn. He glanced at Linnea as he soothed the horse. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” She stood and dusted off the back of her jeans. “Sorry about slamming into you.”
He smiled. “I was about to say the same thing.”
The horse sidestepped, and Linnea instinctively backed away.
“She won’t hurt you,” Owen said.
“I’m not so sure about that.”
He motioned Linnea toward him. “Come on. Give her a little rub, and she’ll be your friend for life.”
“I think it’s better if there’s a good bit of real estate between us.”
His eyebrows drew together. “Are you afraid of horses?”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
“But you’ve ridden, right? I’m sure Chloe’s had you out here before.”
“I’ve been on a horse exactly once, and let’s just say that it didn’t end well. And it wasn’t here.”
He shook his head. “You’re a Texan. How can you not ride?”
She propped her hands against her hips. “Because there’s not exactly a lot of call for horseback riding in the streets of Dallas.”
“I could teach you.”
“I’m fine with both feet on the ground, thanks.”
He shot her a crooked grin. “Chicken.”
“Yep. Bwak, bwak.”
Owen laughed, and the sound caused a really unwise fluttering in her chest.
“So, you headed off to meet your dad and brother?”
“No, not until this afternoon. I’ve got a rare morning to do my own work.” He led the horse out of the barn, causing Linnea to back up even more.
She didn’t relax until he had the horse in the large corral next to the barn. With a fence between her and the powerful animal, she moved closer and noticed the three barrels spaced out in a triangular formation. “You rejoining the rodeo circuit as a barrel racer?”
He glanced at her. “Not quite. I’m training her to be a barrel-racing horse and hope to sell her.”
Linnea laid her arms along the top slat of the fence. “How long have you been doing that?”
“A few months. Charlotte here is my first attempt.” He swung up into the saddle and rode Charlotte to a spot that would approximate a starting spot for barrel racing, then kicked the mare’s sides.
Charlotte sped toward the first barrel, and she was a beauty in motion. But Linnea’s eyes went to Owen, the way his long legs gripped the horse’s sides, the easy way he leaned into the turns. He was every inch the cowboy, as at home with the horse as she had always been with dresses and shoes. While he had a boatload of sex appeal, just watching him in his natural habitat told her all she needed to know about her ill-advised attraction. Even if she wasn’t coming off the worst breakup imaginable, she and Owen had about as much in common as a pair of worn cowboy boots did with Manolo Blahnik pumps.
Even so, she couldn’t take her eyes off him. The part of her that wanted to feel alive and attractive started imagining what it would be like to be with him, even for only a night as so many other women likely had been based on his reputation. A ribbon of jealousy wound its way through her at that thought. She didn’t want to be a number anymore. Even with Michael, she’d not been a one and only. That’s what she wanted, to someday be so important to a man, to be so loved by him, that every other woman on the earth could fall away and he wouldn’t notice. But she wondered if it was rarer than she’d ever imagined. After all, until recently she’d thought she was fortunate enough to have exactly that.
No, she refused to spend such a beautiful morning thinking about Michael. Instead, she watched yet another man she’d never be with and tried to imagine what it would be like if she could. As her fantasies ran wild, she thought about how Chloe would be shocked to know her best friend was wondering what her younger brother looked like naked.
When Owen reined the horse to a halt in front of her a few minutes later, she feared he could somehow read her thoughts, could see them in the way her face heated as if she’d just stepped into an oven.
“Looks like you’ve done a good job training her,” she said.
“I hope so. I need to make this work.” He swung out of the saddle and started leading the horse out of the corral toward the barn.
“I guess it’s expensive to take care of a horse.”
“It can be.”
She sensed something else he wasn’t saying, so she followed him into the
barn, keeping a safe distance from Charlotte and her hooves. When he had the horse safely in the stall, Linnea watched as he brushed the animal. “Is something wrong?”
“No, I just need to prove I can do this.” He shook his head as if he hadn’t meant to say that.
“Don’t you think you can?”
He met her eyes for a moment before refocusing on his task. “I do, but not everyone is so convinced. And I can’t blame them. I’ve not exactly been Mr. Steady and Reliable over the years.”
“So you’ve tried different things. Lots of people do that.”
“And never stuck with any of them. They don’t say much about my training, but I know they’re all just waiting for me to lose interest in it, as well.”
“Will you?”
This time when he met her gaze, he held it longer. “No. This feels different, like I’ve finally found what I was meant to do.”
She shrugged. “Then who cares what other people think? I figure if you have to spend hours a day doing something to make a living, you ought to enjoy it. Too many people are stuck in jobs that they hate, and that’s sad.”
Owen stared at her as if he couldn’t believe what she’d said. “Thanks.”
“For what? Telling the truth?”
“For not doubting me.”
“If you believe you can do this, then I don’t have any right to doubt you. I know what it’s like. When I wanted to open my own store right out of college, my dad cautioned me to work in someone else’s shop first, see if I liked it. But I’ve known since I was a little girl what I wanted to do, ever since I was the flower girl in my cousin Jane’s wedding.”
“From what Chloe says, your shop is successful.”
“I can’t complain.” Her doubts about going back in the wake of Michael’s betrayal resurfaced, but she didn’t want to think about that right now. She’d deal with it when the time came.
Owen set the brush aside and walked toward her. “Why wedding stuff? It all seems like such a huge waste of money. You only use it once.”
“It’s the allure of the fairy tale. Even independent women who can do fine on their own dream of happily ever after, and when they find it, they want their wedding to be perfect.” She looked away and swallowed. “I wanted my wedding to be perfect, and it would have been if the groom hadn’t turned out to be such a loser.”
Her Cowboy Groom (Blue Falls, Texas Book 5) Page 6
