by Amy Gregory
“Uh huh?”
“My parents are coming in for the race this week. They were supposed to come for last week’s, but something came up at the store.”
“And?”
“And, I want you to meet them. Hang out with us.”
“Oh, Lordy.”
“Come on, it will be fun.”
She took a slow breath, gathering some courage. “Okay. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“A question guys don’t want to answer?” She may not have had any real world experience when it came to relationships, but she’d watched enough chick-flicks to know guys didn’t like to be cornered. They usually stared with the deer in the headlights eyes, started mumbling incoherently, and ran out of the room. If the girl was lucky, by the end of the movie, he might come to his senses and carry her off into the sunset. Molly was pretty sure love in real life wasn’t so easily wrapped up with a pretty bow.
“Yeah.”
“What does this mean?”
“What does what mean?”
Damn. The man is going to make me spell it out for him. “Well, everything is moving so fast. And meeting the parents is kind of a really big deal.”
“Can I be honest?”
“I only want honest, you know that, Carter.” She could picture him grinning on the other end of the line.
The short time apart had made him miss her to the point it hurt. It also gave him time to think. After she’d laid herself on the line last Saturday night, he felt it was only fair to do the same. It might go a long way to reassuring her—he sucked in a breath—or it might scare the living hell out of her. He hadn’t wanted to have this conversation over the phone, but they only got limited time alone at the track. That, and well, he couldn’t keep it to himself another minute.
“I’m twenty-eight, Molly, almost twenty-nine. And that’s really close to thirty. I’m ready. I’ve been ready. I’ve known that when the right girl walked into my life, I’d be ready to settle down…and I knew it when you walked into my life. I partied a little when I was younger, I’m over it. Now I have a career that I have to think about and I love it, but most women don’t understand it. I’ve done the long distance thing before with a woman who didn’t get it. I’m done trying to make up for the fact I’m always on the road, trying to make them believe that I’m not screwing around and cheating, having to buy their affection to make up for the fact I’m never around. I’m done with all that. On the flip side, I’m not a guy who just hooks up randomly on the weekends. I don’t need embarrassing pictures of me showing up on the internet because I took a chance with a stranger.”
That was a part of his career that Carter took very seriously, more so than the winning even. He was a role model, even beyond the scope of future racers, but to the kids that just loved his sport. He wouldn’t do anything to damage his reputation. The thought that a slip in his judgment, even just one time, would give unwritten permission to a young person to repeat his mistake, that was unforgiveable. He would never let it happen.
“I want someone who understands my life and me. I want someone who can appreciate all the time I put into this, the practicing and the workouts and even the travel. This is harder than most women realize and I am tired of them thinking I’m just playing and telling me to get a real job.”
“It is a real job, Carter.” Carter could almost see Molly raise her eyebrows over the distance. “You had someone tell you otherwise?”
Carter smiled to himself as he continued. “I honestly didn’t know if there might be someone out there who really gets it. I really didn’t, but you walked up to our group that day, and I knew in that moment that my life was about to change. I know it feels like this is moving fast, but I’m not going to risk losing you because I didn’t take the chance. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You make it fun now. You’re sweet and sassy at the same time. You’re absolutely gorgeous and funny. And this will embarrass you…” He smiled to himself picturing her. He could only imagine how red her cheeks were becoming. “But when I kiss and hold you, it turns me on every single time.”
He heard her suck in a breath over the line, and he pulled in a deep breath himself so he could continue.
“I love you, Molly.” The words came out slow and deliberate.
He listened to her rapid breathing in the phone for what felt like eternity. “I know it’s all happening so fast, but I know what I feel, Molly. I know this is right.” He grinned to himself hesitantly because she still had yet to say anything, “I don’t think I can follow the rules on this stuff, not with you.”
Please say something, please say something, anything.
“I’ve never told another woman that I love her, Molly. You’re the one, Gorgeous.”
He could feel the sweat start to bead up on the back of his neck and his heart was racing like he had been running for twenty miles. His stomach dropped and he mentally cursed himself for not waiting until they were face-to-face to drop that line on her. He wanted to be there and see her eyes go wide with surprise, but then watch as the smile broke across her face, lighting up the whole room. He wanted to pull her into his arms and feel her heart beating fast at his admission.
“I love you too, Carter,” she whispered back.
“Really?” He was bordering on sounding pathetic and he just didn’t give a damn. The girl of his dreams had told him she loved him. To hear the words spoken back to him, it was worth everything. All the hours they’d been apart and the nasty looks and rude comments from her brother, those things just fell away. She loved him and nothing else in the world mattered.
“You have just made me the happiest man alive. I really have fallen completely in love with you.”
“I have too, Carter.” She paused, but he could tell she was gearing up. “So…can I, um, call you my boyfriend?” she asked in this cute, tiny voice.
Carter wanted to shout from the rooftops, he wanted to go caveman on her and throw over his shoulder and carry her off and never let her out of his sight. Instead he laughed into the phone, his happiness hopefully carrying through to his new girlfriend.
“You’d better. Because, Gorgeous, you’re off the market. You’re mine!”
“I like the sound of that.”
His smile was so big his cheeks were starting to hurt. “I’ve heard you say that before.”
“I mean it, too.”
“Good. Ugh…Molly. I can hardly wait to see you again. This is killing me.”
It was too. He had worn his cell battery down more than once, staring at the pictures he’d taken of her. There was one thing that was really bothering him though. In all their conversations since they’d last seen each other, she hadn’t mentioned anything being wrong. Not that he wanted that, but after that incident with Brody and the phone call, he’d been on edge waiting for her to call with bad news of some sort. She hadn’t. That had him worried. To make matters worse, he didn’t want to come out and ask her outright for fear there was something going on, and that she didn’t know about it.
He heard her sigh into the phone. “Me too, Carter.”
“Well, Gorgeous, we’re getting ready to hit the road. I won’t call again until we stop for gas, so it will be awhile.”
“I know. I hope today and tomorrow fly by. Thursday seems so far away.”
“I love you so much, Gorgeous.”
“I love you too, Carter. Be careful.”
“Bye, baby.”
“Bye.”
He let out a deep breath. This was going to be the longest damn season in history. He had asked her flat out for the long distance relationship. It was better than no relationship with her by far, but telling her goodbye over and over was about to do him in. He could hear the sadness creep into her voice as she knew they were nearing the end of their calls. He hated that he was causing her pain of any kind, but the alternative was not an option.
~
“There’s my girl.”
Carter’s voice came from behind her, but before s
he could turn, he picked her up and swung her around by the waist. In that instant, all was right with the world again. She turned and smiled up at the man holding her in his arms.
“Oh, Carter, I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, Gorgeous.”
She hugged him close, feeling the hard plane of muscles against her, smelling his now familiar cologne. With that, the stress of the last few days vanished. The rest of the men in her world seemed to be drinking out of the same punch bowl, because James, Brody, and even Joey were all losing it. Driving her crazy in the process. Their possessive glances and hushed conversations combined with their over the top smothering were wearing her patience thin. On top of all of that, she had missed Carter so much that her heart actually hurt. Her nerves were frazzled, her patience worn thin, and she was dead tired. She hadn’t realized how tired she had been the last few months until she’d had the best sleep of her adult life. Probably in her whole life if she wanted to be honest.
That one night she’d spent in Carter’s arms was worth more than gold in her book. Since that night, sleep was something that had eluded her almost completely.
She closed her eyes as she listened to his heart beating, his palm on her back, rubbing her gently, but keeping her pressed to him. She felt herself sway and forced her eyes open.
“Are you okay, Mol?”
“Yeah, just really tired, and really glad to see you.”
“How about this, we’ll go up to the pits and eat with Jesse and Eli, and then I’ll walk you back here to your motorhome and you can get to bed early. What do you think? And tell Erin and Brody they’re more than welcome to join us if they want. I saw Joey up by your semi as I passed it on my way here. We can holler at him on the way.”
His words said one thing, but Molly could see the hopefulness in his face. If she had to pick one thing that was keeping her mind spinning at night, it was his offer. He’d asked her last week to stay with him for the weekend. She wanted to—more than anything. She had thought about it, weighed the pros and cons, made mental lists. It’d circled around it in her head so many times she was dizzy, but he wasn’t pushing. She could tell he was waiting for her to make the first move, no pressure from him whatsoever.
If she didn’t have this on-going struggle with Brody, her decision would have been made already. The guilt from disappointing him or, even worse, hurting him, was paralyzing.
“What do you think, sweetie? I know you have to be starving.”
She looked up at the ice blue eyes. His lopsided smile reached clear up to his eyes, making the corners crinkle. Her heart melted all over again.
“I’d love that.”
~
Molly finished changing into a pair of tiny sleep shorts and a t-shirt, ready for bed. She came out of the bathroom in their motorhome yawning and ready to drop. They had stayed longer in the pits than she should have, but she wasn’t ready to be away from Carter. She had been ready to get away from her brother’s penetrating looks, though. The eye rolls, the snarled lip. She had had enough. She was embarrassed Brody was treating Carter so rudely, and she wanted to put them both out of their misery. She wasn’t faking being tired, but it was an excuse to put an end to the evening. Brody’s disapproval was the first thing she saw when she opened the bathroom door.
“I don’t like you sitting on his lap.”
“Brody, leave her alone.”
Erin tried to run interference for Molly as best she could, and Molly appreciated it, but she also didn’t want to cause an argument between Erin and her brother. Molly let out a breath and turned to Erin, ignoring her brother completely. “Good night, Erin.” She bent to kiss her cheek and whispered, “Thanks,” into Erin’s ear.
“I love you, Mol.”
“Love you, too.”
Molly folded out the blankets on the couch and lay down, never once looking up at her brother who hadn’t moved. He was still standing in the same spot he had been when she came out of the bathroom, leaned against the kitchen counter, his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, his arms crossed over his chest. To any other person, he’d look imposing. Molly just found him infuriating. However, she was too tired to argue with him. Well, tired, but also she’d reached that point where, although she loved him dearly, she was done. She was tired of his rude comments to Carter and she was tired of being treated like a child. She rolled over, hoping he’d get the hint and go to bed.
When she heard the soft click of the bedroom door, she rolled to her back and let out a sigh of relief. Molly stared into the darkness for over an hour. The green numbers on the clock on the oven moved slower than molasses. Before she changed her mind, she threw back the blankets. She looked at the two bedroom doors, both shut. Erin and Brody in one, Joey in the other. Molly crossed to the door of the motorhome, opened it quietly, and slipped outside.
Sitting in his motorhome watching TV, Carter thought he heard something. He turned the sound down to listen and heard a soft knock. He opened the latch and pushed the door open, looking down in the open doorway. The unsure smile and big blue eyes almost made his knees buckle underneath him.
“Molly, come in, honey. Is everything okay? Are you all right?”
“Your light was on, are you sure you were still up? Did I wake you?”
“No, baby, I’m up.” He pulled her into his arms for a minute before pulling her by the hands to the couch to sit beside him. “What’s wrong, Molly?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
He could tell she was nervous. She’d sneak glances at him every few seconds, always with her lip between her teeth. Carter was sure she’d be twisting the hem of her shorts in her fists if he didn’t have her hands already in his.
“Carter, I love you.”
He brushed the hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. “Ah, sweetie, I love you too.”
“Carter?”
He brushed his knuckles over the soft skin of her cheek. “Yeah, baby?”
“I’m…”
She looked back down. Carter could feel her nerves, he was half afraid to move for fear she’d startle out of her own skin. He was starting to get nervous that something was really wrong. She could hardly look at him. His stomach dropped. Oh God. She was there to break it off with him. They were just getting started. He drew in a shaky breath, waiting for the words he knew were coming. Damn it, Brody. Carter knew he was going to try to drive them apart. Well, he’d been patient, he’d been the good guy, he had been the guy Molly needed him to be, but if Brody thought Carter would just let the love of his life walk away, then her brother wasn’t just crazy. He was freaking stupid, because he wasn’t backing down without a fight.
“I’m…um…I’m…ready,” Molly said, barely loud enough for him to make out the words.
Huh?
He watched as she slowly brought her chin up, and at last her eyes met his, her lip in her teeth, of course. Those deep blue eyes blinked then went wide as she waited. Waited for him.
“Molly?”
“I’ve thought about it—a lot. I’m ready. I want to be with you.”
Oh my God. Carter knew he had to be dreaming. Any minute he was going to wake up, in his bed—alone, but he could feel the warmth of her skin under his palm as he held her face in his hand. Carter ran his thumb over her lips then brought her chin closer so he could kiss her.
“Are you sure? This changes everything, Molly.”
“I know.”
He was trying like hell to keep his possessive side under control, but she was unraveling him thread by thread. “No. I mean, it changes everything. You’ll be mine. No going back, you’ll be mine—forever. I won’t be able to let you go.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“Are you really sure?”
“Yes, I am. I love you.”
One thought stopped him. As much as he wanted to run to his bed with her in a fireman hold, he had to ask first. Unfortunately, he knew what the answer was going to be.
“Does Brod
y know you’re here?”
“No, it’s none of his business.”
“He’s your brother.”
“Exactly. He’s my brother, not my keeper.”
“I hate that I’m coming between the two of you, Molly.”
“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you things are fine. But Carter, I can’t put my happiness on hold because he still sees that fourteen-year-old broken girl who showed up on his doorstep one day. We’ve both grown up since then, he just can’t see that.”
Molly squeezed his hands. “I love you, Carter…I want you.”
“I know you do, Gorgeous, and you don’t have to prove that to me. When I asked you to stay with me, I really only wanted to feel you beside me at night. Nothing more, no pressure, I promise.”
“I know, and I’m not trying to prove anything. To you, to Brody, not even to myself. I told you, I’ve had several days to think about this, Carter. I’m ready. I wouldn’t tell you that if I wasn’t.”
“Molly,” he said quietly, his resistance fading fast.
She reached over and put her hand to his cheek and kissed him softly on the lips. “I’m sure,” she said again.
Carter’s heart took off in a mad dash and he tried to take a deep breath. This was not where he’d expected this night to go. The lower half of his body was screaming for him to hurry before she changed her mind, but he also understood the emotional weight on them both. He absolutely had to keep himself under control, since this would be her first time. He stood up and held out his hand for her then he led her down the short hall to the small bedroom and turned on the bed side lamp.
“I want to be able to see you, is that okay?”
She gave him a little nod. He turned and ran his hands up her arms, up her neck, to her face. Molly glided her hands gently around his waist and as she parted her lips, just barely, he slipped his tongue over hers. The two of them stood kissing for what felt like an eternity. He was going to take this slow.
Her muscles rippled under his hands as he skimmed his palms down her arms and made his way down to her waist. He was trying to gauge every sharp breath she took, watching for signals to stop. Just under the hem of her t-shirt, he ran his fingers across the skin of her stomach, weighing her reaction, before he inched the fabric up. Molly let the kiss go and raised her arms up for him to slide the top off. She’d been ready for bed, he realized, when he saw that she didn’t have a bra on. He kept the chuckle to himself. She had wanted him, had come to him because she was ready. That was heady knowledge and his heart swelled at the thought.
